Thanks To You || Alex Gaskarth

5. Everything Is A-Okay

It had been two weeks since I'd arrived in the south and I was slowly getting used to it. It wasn't that I liked it yet, but I was growing familiar to the content slow-paced environment here. It was a startling change from the bustling crowded city of Baltimore. I'd spent a lot of my time with Hayden. She was really my only friend here, besides the old guy that spent his every afternoon in front of the general store, and I was growing closer to her. There was something about her that was almost vibrant and when I was with her, I didn't feel as alone as usual. 

It was nice to have a friend who didn't have all these previous ideals of me. Hayden hadn't known me as the fun, partying lead singer; she only knew me as this new kind of sad, reserved Alex. She didn't think it was weird when I had nothing to say because that's just who I was to her. I knew she thought something was off with me, but she didn't pry and she didn't constantly compare me to who I used to be. It was why I had been ignoring Jack's calls all week. The last few conversations I'd had with him had been dull and just made me feel like crap. He was full of life and overwhelmed with wishes for me to get better and constantly asking about how I was feeling.

It didn't seem like that hard of question. How was I feeling? But there was something that was so stressful and annoying about it. I felt the same since I'd last spoken to him; sad. It wasn't changing and Jack just made me even more aware of my emotional state. I felt bad sending my best friend's calls to voicemail and I knew he was worried about me. Zack, Rian, Matt, and Cass had been calling too and I'd let the phone ring absently. I felt myself pulling away from my life and into this new one. It was like I was becoming a new person in a new town. It was weird to think, but it made me feel better sometimes to think of myself as some sort of runaway, leaving behind everything that used to matter.

I was pulled from my thoughts as Hayden came back from the tack room laden with saddles and harnesses. We were going riding today, to Hayden's favorite spot, nestled in the nearby woods. I walked over quickly, scooping most of the supplies out of her thin arms. She shot me a grateful smile before diligently settling the equipment onto the horses. Aphrodite stood stalk still as Hayden easily slipped her into her bridle, occasionally blowing air out of her nose and swishing her tail. Hayden repeated the process on Hawk until both horses were ready to ride. 

Too soon, I was swinging my leg over the horse's thick torso and falling into the saddle. Hayden grinned at me from Aphrodite's back. She looked at home in her spot there. The smile on her face was suddenly radiant and she almost looked like a different person. Her hair billowed lightly in the wind, like gold ribbon. She'd always seemed happy, but seeing her now made her usual persona seem like a shell of a person. Her happiness seemed to multiply, finally in her element.

"I don't know if I remember how to do this," I commented nervously.

"Just feel it," Hayden smiled, before pressing her foot against the horse's side. Aphrodite shot forward, moving into a trot then a gallop. I repeated the motion on Hawk who jerked into motion, sending me almost flying backwards. I grabbed onto the reins, causing Hawk to brake abruptly and me to fall forward. I braced myself, hearing Hayden's laugh in the distance. She'd reigned Aphrodite to a stop and had witnessed my clumsy mishap.

I groaned, pressing my heel into Hawk, softer this time, and he moved at a steady walk. I reached Hayden and Aphrodite moments later, smiling at her bashfully.

"Don't laugh," I commanded before Hayden could say anything.

"I wouldn't laugh at my friend's misfortune. What kind of person do you think I am?"

"Yeah, sure," I snorted. 

"Come on, I want to get there before it's dark. Giddy up, cowboy," Hayden smirked. Aphrodite surged forward and I followed behind on Hawk, hearing Hayden's soft laughter hitting the wind.