HELLO MY FELLOW 5SOS-IANS :D (I quite liked that name, hm)
THIS IS WHERE THE DRAMA BEGINS MWAHAHA
I've actually partially (in a very scattered form) written/noted/planned/plotted the rest of the story from here on out! And it gets better (hopefully) hahaha
I don't particularly like how I ended this one, but it needed to be done somehow so meh, it will only get better :D
PS-song belongs to T-Swizzle (as usual, I'm not very various.)
ENJOY
Finally, it was out there.
The words that had been sitting heavily down on my chest for days had lifted and the truth was out.
And he liked me back.
It made me suspicious.
I wasn’t the girl that guys liked like that. I was the girl that got screwed over. History had proved this. Twice.
Because what kind of world, where everything else has gone wrong, has this kind of perfection?
Speaking from experience, things don’t generally go right in my life, and recently they’ve been amazing.
I was waiting for the bad to come and ruin all the good.
Because after an incredible time comes the inevitable horrible ending, right?
But so far, it hasn’t.
The others had all been busy or asleep when we finally got back to the bus and trundled off to Perth.
I needed advice from my girls, my mind running a mile a minute.
Luke was fast asleep, his arm laying loosely over my waist.
I spared a moment to look at him and a small smile spread across my face.
He looked so peaceful asleep. His face relaxed, his eyelashes brushing his cheekbones and his breathing even. He was beautiful. And he liked me.
But then the doubts crept in.
The thing about Luke was that he wasn’t perfect. He had his flaws and I had mine. But while I’d lost that shred of goodness in stupid decisions, Luke was still good. He was still unmarred by the scars of self-hate and hate from others, disgust and fear. He was beautiful and if he was ruined in any way, it would be all my fault.
“You’re too good for me.” I whispered, touching his cheek lightly.
He only smiled in his slumber and curled up into a ball, disentangling his arms from me.
The sign couldn’t have been any clearer.
I quietly unzipped the canvas and slunk into the sleeping tour bus. I’d memorised where Jules, Em and Stella’s beds were and I poked them all until they’d woken up.
When they’d grumbled and yawned their way to the couches, I drew the curtain, cutting off the sleeping area.
“Care to share why you woke us all up at some ungodly hour of the morning?” Jules growled.
She was always crabby when she was tired.
“I’m sorry.” I mumbled, twiddling my thumbs. “I just needed to talk to you guys.”
“Alright, Del.” Stella yawned. “You’ve got us awake now. May as well tell us everything.”
“It better involve some Luke action or I’m going to bed.” Em warned.
I smiled slightly and then told them my story. I explained Ollie’s behaviour; Luke’s misunderstanding of the scene and finally, the admittance of our feelings for each other.
“Oh. My. God.” Em gasped. “He said that? You said that?”
“I know.” I said miserable, putting my head in my hands. “I’m so stupid.”
“That was brave.” Jules admonished. “Not stupid.”
“Why would it be stupid to like Luke?” Stella questioned, quietly.
I took a deep breath. “Stel, I’ve done things that I’m ashamed of. Terribly ashamed of. Luke doesn’t need that. I don’t deserve him and I really don’t want to hurt his happiness or affect his career. I’ve made mistakes…”
“We’ve all made mistakes.” Jules cut in, looking at me sharply. “That doesn’t make you inferior to anyone else.”
“I’ve made stupid decisions.” I said. “I’ve hurt people. He’s hurt me, how do I trust him? I hurt him, how does he trust me? It’s a vicious cycle. Everything I love, everyone I love gets hurt. I destroy things.”
“You don’t destroy things.” Em said, her mouth wide in disbelief. “You haven’t hurt me, or Jules or Stella.”
“I hurt my dad.” I murmured. “I hurt Luke. Luke deserves to be happy and I can’t bring him down with my painful past.”
“But don’t you see?” Stella put her small hand over mine. “Luke will only be happy if you’re there, Delilah. You make him the happiest I’ve ever seen him.”
“And I’ll be damned if I watch you throw this away.” Jules said, firmly. “You deserve this happiness, Delilah. You’ve been through so much shit that it’s only fairness that you get this happiness for the rest of your life.”
“The rest of my life?” I gasped. “With Luke? Jules, I’m only seventeen!”
But the words had already stapled themselves inside my brain and my mind was ticking, just thinking about it.
Luke and me many years in the future. A big white house by the beach with a huge backyard. A few little kids running around with my hair and Luke’s eyes. Luke getting out his guitar and the two of us singing to our kids. Huge family dinners with my dad and Luke’s parents and brothers, and the other 5SOS boys and Jules, Em and Stella, all of us laughing as we have a BBQ on the back verandah with laughter, joking and delicious smells filling the fresh, salty Aussie air.
Em smiled at me softly. “I think you know what we mean, Del.”
I thought I did too.
*
The day would have been a nice one.
We had planned a great little outing for the eight of us: bowling and then pizza with a meet and greet at the local shopping centre after lunch.
But Luke was distracted when we went bowling and left halfway through to take a call.
Ash and Cal bowled for him, purposefully making him lose.
We hung around the bowling alley for twenty minutes, making it a good forty minutes since Luke left.
“I’ll text him and say we moved on.” Cal said, frowning and typing out a quick text.
We ran into a couple of fans at the pizza place and took a few photos.
One little girl, maybe around eleven or so grinned at me. “Your hair was so pretty with the red in it, but I like it even better now. Just when I thought you couldn’t get any more gorgeous and here you are!”
Smiling bashfully, I gave her a hug. “You, my dear, are an absolute angel and totally know how to sweet talk a person.”
She giggled and we took a silly photo together before she wandered away with her friends, leaving us to enjoy our lunch.
I couldn’t stop my lips pursing as I watched Stella and Mike share each others food, Cal tickling Em and making her squirm and giggle, and Ash and Jules openly flirting, quite physically too, I might add.
I had just openly admitted my feelings to a guy about him for the first time ever…and said guy was not here.
He rushed in, puffing and fell into a seat next to me.
“Nice of you to show up.” I remarked, sarcastically.
“Sorry, Del. Sorry, guys. I just had to take that call.” Luke apologised, taking a slice of pizza.
“Who was it, mate?” Cal asked, curiously.
“It wasn’t management, was it?” Ash sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Changing the M and G time?”
“Nah. Not management.” Luke said, vaguely.
I frowned.
“Then who?” Mike pressed, as though sensing my guard going slowly up and my temper rising.
“Alison.” Luke mumbled through a mouth of pizza, eyes on the table.
My stomach sank and I swallowed hard, diligently keeping my eyes away from Luke.
And up go the walls.
I dropped my pizza back on the plate. “I’m going to the bathroom.”
When I reached the dingy bathroom, I locked myself in a cubicle, sat on the lid and pulled my knees up to my chin, nibbling my lip.
I fished around in my back and drew out a compact, flipping it open to reveal the mirror.
I moved it around, looking at myself critically from every angle.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Was I not pretty enough? Smart enough? Talented enough? Or was I just too different from Alison?
Why would he say he liked me and then call Alison for forty minutes?
With a growl, I slapped my compact closed, slamming the mirror away from me, well aware that if I searched for too long then I would see all my imperfections all too clearly.
I put my head in my hands and took a few deep breaths.
Then I stood up, walked out, washed my hands and returned to the table with a pleasant smile.
I ignored Luke for the most part, answering his questions with a simple “yes” or “no”.
He was growing frustrated but so was I.
Two can play at this game, Luke Hemmings.
*
“I just don’t understand!” I moaned, flopping back on the faded floral couch and glaring at the ceiling. “How does he think it’s ok to tell me he likes me and then talk to his ex-girlfriend for nearly an hour over the phone? That’s not cool, right?”
Ollie sniggered. “You sound like you’re in primary school.”
“Shut your face, Ol.” I folded my arms. “I need advice here!”
Ollie sighed and rolled over to me, throwing an arm around my shoulders. “Look, kid…”
“Don’t call me kid, jerk!”
“Look, doll. He’s a boy. And boys get…urges. Maybe this ex-girlfriend fulfilled those urges when they were dating. And he doesn’t want to push you away by asking you to fulfill them when you only just admitted your feelings.”
“But he thought that asking his ex to ‘fulfill his urges’ was a better option?” I asked, skeptically.
“I never said it was better.”
“Ollie, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!”
“Like I said, doll.” I glanced up to see Ollie looking at me oddly. “Boys have urges. We need to fulfill them.”
Oh crap.
“Hey, so um, I have to go!” I shot to my feet and darted to the door. “I’ll see you at the concert tonight, right? Of course I will, you’ll be on stage with me. Playing that guitar.”
I forced a laugh. Ollie raised an eyebrow. “I was just teasing you, Del.”
“I know!” I said. “I really do have to get a move on, Lora’s expecting me soon!”
I hurried out the door and scampered to the wings of the stage for safety.
Ollie was being weird and I didn’t like it. I had enough weirdness going on in my life already.
The stage was a hive of activity, setting up everything in the last hour before the audience was admitted entry.
It was a crazy, busy life, but one I was learning to love.
“What the hell are you playing at?” Luke’s husky voice startled me and I whipped around. “I told you I didn’t like it when you hang out with Ollie and you go and do it anyway?”
“You’re not the boss of me, Luke.” I said, folding my arms. “I can hang out with whoever I want. It’s not like I spent forty minutes on the phone to my ex-girlfriend.”
“Is that what this is about?”
“No, Luke this is about you being a jealous asshole for no reason! We’re not even dating!”
There was a tense silence. Luke’s eyes tightened. “Is that what you want? A date? A boyfriend? Damn it, Delilah! Give me some help here!”
I shook my head. “Not like this. Do whatever you goddamn want, Luke Hemmings. I don’t care.”
I stormed away so he wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes.
Damn him. Damn him to the fiery pits of hell.
Because the truth was, I did care.
I cared so much that it hurt my chest to think about him and Alison together and that all I wanted was for him to chase after me, shout my name, tell me he was sorry and kiss me senseless.
But because life isn’t a stupid Hollywood film, he didn’t.
*
I decided on feeling anger over hurt, in the end.
Because anger hurt a hell of a lot less than sadness and the energy of fury fueled a good old singing session on stage.
“Cos I knew you were trouble when I walked in
So shame on me now
Out flew me to places I’ve never been
Til you put me down
Oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
Now I’m lying on the cold, hard ground
Oh! Oh, oh!
Trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh! Oh, oh! Trouble, trouble”
This song wasn’t about Luke, but I was quite happy for him to see it that way. I actually wrote it about my asshole of an ex-boyfriend.
I sat through the show in the box with Jules, Em and Stella, listening to them chatter away but not saying anything myself.
“Delilah, are you ok?” Em asked, cautiously.
“Dandy.” I replied, through clenched teeth.
I watched Luke sing with much less enthusiasm than normal, his eyes roaming around the wings and the audience.
I hoped he was looking for me, but I was never certain with Luke.
At the end of their concert, I had cooled down long enough to realise that I was being pretty silly and hot headed over the whole thing.
Arguing with Luke wasn’t new to me, and we always got over it.
So with a deep sigh, I got to my feet and made my way to the stage.
Luke wasn’t hanging around in the wings as normal, which was odd.
Confused, I wandered backstage, down to where the dressing rooms were.
Instead of an empty hallway, however, I saw two figures.
They were holding hands, and the girl kept trying to edge closer to the guy, who would step away every time.
The breath stuck in my throat as I recognised the couple.
Of course it would be them.
Alison and Luke, Luke and Alison. The perfect, beautiful couple.
Perfection in a way I could never achieve.
Love.