I skipped school on Monday.
I faked being sick the whole weekend; meanwhile I was wallowing in self-pity. My mom and dad babied me but I pretended to sleep so they would leave me alone. I ended up watching the Notebook on repeat- finally realizing who Noah Calhoun was. Parker Stevens was no Noah Calhoun and I would take Ryan Gosling any day.
Oddly enough, I never cried. It wasn’t like I was in love with him, right? It was just a stupid crush that I would get over and realize that boys, in general, were not worth all the trouble. I didn’t need to reproduce. I would just stay single forever and rely on cats. If I had a bunch of cats, I would never be lonely. There, problem solved.
Thankfully, March break was next week and I was going down to Florida like I did every year. My grandparents had a house in Fort Lauderdale, they were retired and Fort Lauderdale was the place to be, right?
This year, for once, I had practically forgotten all about it. Florida wasn’t really my thing, along with airplanes. Airplanes really weren’t my thing either. I could practically feel my stomach churn just thinking about being so far up that if you fell out from one, you would be nothing but ash when you landed.
I was a very optimistic person.
Monday, I ate ice-cream out of a small tub. It was triple chocolate and I ate it in ten minutes.
Bri had convinced me to give her my phone right after she dropped me off at my house on Friday night after Parker called it six times and texted it 25. I was guessing Harris gave him my number or something, and thankfully I had caller ID so I didn’t answer it. God knows what would’ve happened if I heard his voice on the other line, tempting me to forgive him. The least I could do was hear him out right? That was wrong, according to Bri though. I was just supposed to move on and forget all about him. I was also supposed to find ‘a-hottie-with-a-body’ when I was down in Florida. Were there people other than the elderly in Fort Lauderdale?
Tuesday morning came faster than I wanted it too. But I had to show him I was better off without him, so I pulled on a pair of tight black skinny jeans and a ruffled white blouse. I wore my ankle-boots without a heel because I was so beyond tired of heels, and curled my hair so it was wavy. Simple black eye-liner lined my eyes and I paired it with a bright red lipstick that clashed perfectly against my dark hair a bright blouse.
I had an air of confidence about my look, but how the hell could I be confident when I knew I was going to have to face Teagan and Parker?
It was weird how I adjusted so easily to the stares and whispers last week. This week though, I felt like their words were piercing holes into my spine even though I couldn’t hear what they were saying. They all knew what happened on Friday; Carrie must’ve spread it like wildfire. It didn’t surprise me though.
Briana suddenly appeared by my side, looping her arm through mine. I smiled at her, but I knew she could tell it was forced for the audience.
“Here’s your phone back,” She muttered to me, quietly enough so only I could hear. I felt the plastic slide into my hand. I forced my hand to grip it.
“Hey, Bri? Can I catch up with you later? I kind of want to face my locker on my own,” I said to her as we approached my hallway. She looked at me with a knowing stare but sighed and nodded anyways. We both knew something, or rather someone, would be waiting at my locker. I took a deep breath before turning the corner to the hallway.
Sure enough, a figure was lounged against the beige steel that encased all my books.
I choked on the deep breath that I had just taken and spun around; turning back around the corner I had just come from.
Alright, I thought, now that I know he’s there, I can prepare myself.
I took my breath and let it out before heading back around the corner. He already looking straight at me- clearly he had heard my entrance only moments early. I cursed myself for not being prepared earlier.
Bri and I had planned out Parker and I’s first meeting and I really didn’t want go through with this, but I wanted to hurt him just as much as he hurt me.
He looked like crap, and that made a small piece of me feel better. But only a small piece.
Resuming the plan, I looked away from him and didn’t let any recognition or expression pass my features.
“Grace, look, I was never going to follow through with what I said to Teagan. I know I was a huge asshole but I was never going to do that, you have to believe me,” He pleaded with me. I knew that tone. The ‘please forgive me’ tone. I had only heard it a few times before from movies and TV shows. The girl always forgave him when he gave her that look and that tone. But not this girl. I was stronger than that. Besides, he was obviously lying to me. When has he ever been truthful with me? I furrowed my eyebrows and looked over at him.
“Do I know you?” I asked him slowly, making sure I gave him the most confused look I could come up with. His entire expression faltered and he flinched back. He knew exactly what I was doing. I was sincerely forgetting all about him.
“Please don’t do this,” He said quietly, eyes falling to the floor.
“I think you have me mistaken for someone else. Another Grace maybe. Whatever you did to her, it sounds pretty horrible and I’m thinking she’s not going to forgive you,” I continued, still holding my confused expression.
“Grace, please, hear me out,” His eyes flew up to my face. His hand reached out and grabbed my own. I yanked my hand from his grip, a disgusted frown forming on my lips.
“I really don’t know who the hell you are- but you don’t go touching girls who don’t even know you!” I exclaimed, wiping my hand on my pants. I spun towards my locker and did the combination on the lock, swinging the door open in the process, praying it would hit him in the face. It didn’t and I cursed Lady Luck for not being present at the moment.
“You’re right, we don’t know each other. I guess the other Grace deserves to know that I never meant to ever hurt her and that I know she’ll hate me forever,” He paused and suddenly my locker door slammed in front of my face and his arm grabbed my own- spinning me towards him. I was too shocked to keep up my facade. His eyes searched my own and I could practically feel the internal battle. One half of me yelled “forgive him!” while the other half yelled, “Punch him in the face again!”
“But she needs to know that I never lied about my feelings towards her. And I hope she’ll find it in her heart to give me one last chance before giving up on me entirely,” He paused once again before gripping my chin in one of his hands. I was paralyzed. My feet were certainly glued to the ground. His hand trailed down my cheek as he observed my features. What was I doing, standing here and letting him do this to me? I took a step back and his hands dropped from me.
“No,” I whispered, my voice clearly strained. I shook my head and closed my eyes. “She can’t give you another chance.”
He sucked in a breath but when I opened my eyes, judging by the look on his face, he knew that this was done and he had known I wasn’t going to give him a second chance. He nodded slowly before stepping backwards and creating more space between us. I could almost feel everything I felt drifting up into the air, but once I looked into his eyes, it all came crashing down onto me like a Tsunami. A hurricane. A tidal wave.
His eyes were dark with emotion, something that was rare for him and it may have been the first time I saw actual hurt in his eyes. My heart ached in my chest and all I wanted to do was tell him okay, I forgive you. I didn’t want to hurt him. Why was I doing this?
I had fallen pretty damn hard for him and I hadn’t even realized it until last week.
And now I was shoving him away.
“Okay, then I guess I should just give up,” He whispered.
No, I wanted to yell, fight for me; I swear I’ll give in eventually!
But I didn’t say it. I simply nodded at him and watched as he backed up and turned away from me, slowly and painfully.
I quickly opened my locker and leaned my head inside it for a moment, biting back stupid tears that threatened to flow.
God, I thought I would never turn into one of these pathetic high school girls who cries over a guy. A girl who got in so deep just for him to twist it around and break her heart anyways. I always swore to myself that I would never trust a guy so much that he was able to break my heart.
Guess I lied.
But I was strong and I could make it through this. I didn’t need him. I never needed anybody and I could rely on myself. I was fine. Everything was going to be okay.
I just had to dig myself out of the hole I put myself into.
The Parker hole. I might’ve been too deep for me to climb back out. The hole was already starting to fill with water and I was going to drown if I couldn’t get myself out soon.
Did I really want to get out though?
No. I didn’t think I did.
*****
yes, short chapter again, but the next three chapters are going to be longer, I swear it! There may or may not be an epilogue.. we shall see. Anyways. The ending is already being planned and I think everyone will be happy.
Question: Is there any unanswered questions that you'd like to see be answered still? (other than the whole parker/grace thing)
I'm trying to make sure I get everything in before I end it. I know I have to tie up the Harris/Teagan thing, and the Greg thing (yes, I haven't forgotten about him)
alright, I'll try and update really soon because of how short this one was.. Sorry again guys! It's just I didn't want this confrontation to be part of any other chapter