Why I Have To

By ssillagee

211K 8.6K 1.3K

What would you do if the love of your life left without telling you why? Jathea story. AU. COMPLETED. More

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32

Chapter 16

5.7K 279 42
By ssillagee

September 2015

Jade's POV

"Jade... Please, I know you're still bitter about your past but if you don't wanna do this for her, then at least do it for me... You owe me this much." David said in a pleading tone.

"Give me a few days... then I'll know what to do." I said frustratedly and ended the call.

"Who's that?" asked Sally as she took a piece of poutine fries from my plate.

I woke up that morning with Sally's face hovering over mine asking me to tag along on her day's mission.

I fell asleep reading Althea's journal, and next thing I know, Sally is dragging me across town in search of a perfect pair of shoes to match her new Givenchy ensemble.

She doesn't take no for an answer.

"David..." I sighed.

"Oh... is it about the thing?"

"Yes," I huffed as I signaled the server to refill my iced tea.

"What are you even planning to do? I mean... He'll be dead meat for sure, and you... Well, I guess you'll be fine— unless..." she gave me that knowing look.

My mind is clouded with so many thoughts— with the work I left behind... my family... David... the journal...her...

And Sally's chirpy voice isn't helping either.

I sighed.

The more I read that journal, the more confused I get. I spent all night reading it and I am almost halfway through but not once did I get the answer I was looking for. The more I think about it, the more I want to curl up in my bed and read it.

Why, Althea?

I need my answers.

I need my closure.

"Do you think you could still escape this fake engagement thing you have? Which is really a stupid plan if you ask me... If only Wila took the morning after pill then you won't be having this problem," she added nonchalantly as if it was that easy.

Morning after...

Morning after...

Morning after...

Is that why?

*************************************************
FLASHBACK

November 13, 2009

Jade's POV

I opened my eyes at around 5AM and couldn't go back to sleep. Althea is curled up in my arms, passed out and oblivious to the world. I still can't believe that this beautiful creature is finally here in my arms.

I envy her as I watch her chest breathe in and out so evenly, with a peaceful and contented smile plastered on her pretty lips as she sleeps.

How could she fall asleep so soundly after that heated make out session we had? Or after what I confessed to her?

Oh shit. I really did confess my feelings.

What happens next?

I felt both happy and scared at the same time.

Scared— Althea's right. I'm always scared. But how could I not be? Everything's at stake here, my family, my dreams, her safety...

But what scares me more is that I'm losing control of myself the more time I spend with her... the more I acknowledge my feelings...

I've never felt this way with anybody before, let alone with a girl. I love her and it scares me so damn much.

Shit. Morning afters are the worst.

I brushed off my thoughts and went to the kitchen to cook her some breakfast. The aroma of freshly cooked bacon and french toast probably roused her from sleep as she walked to the kitchen in her beige tank top and deep red boxers— looking divine as usual.

It's ridiculous how beautiful she is even when she's hungover.

"Good morning," she said in her deep and sexy bedroom voice.

She crept up to me as I placed the plates on the table and snaked her arms around my waist. I craned my neck towards her and softly placed a quick peck on her lips.

"Good morning, too" I whispered.

She beamed.

I went to the medicine cabinet, took an aspirin and handed it to her as I poured a glass of water.

"For your hangover" I said.

"Ang ganda naman ng nurse ko," she teased.

"Shut up. Just take it so we could eat," I playfully swatted her and kissed her on the forehead.

After we ate our breakfast, we went to the living room to do our usual routine— I study and she fiddles with her guitar.

For some it may seem boring, but for me, it's home. The comfortable silence and her presence around me is more than enough.

As I finished the last chapter of my textbook, I heard her say "Hey, Jade. This one's for you."

I looked at her as she gently strums the strings of her guitar. She started singing in that deep soulful voice of hers,

"Isn't she lovely,
Isn't she wonderful,
Isn't she precious,
Less than one minute old..."

She stopped as soon as she heard me laugh.

"What?" she asked, somewhat offended.

"I'm sorry. Please, continue" I said in between giggles.

She gave me a questioning look and pouted.

"Okay, fine. But isn't that Stevie Wonder's song for his daughter? Am I your daughter?" I said, trying to suppress my laughter.

"No. But so what? You're lovely. And wonderful. And precious." she said as she continued to finish the song.

That made me shut up.

That's a good one.

It's sweet and sincere and I can't stop the butterflies forming in my belly.

Althea's an old soul. A romantic masked under her tough 'rockstar' persona. I am forever in awe of her raw talent— her way with music as if she's peeking through your soul. Your entire being.

It's a shame that the world is missing out on this. This talent shouldn't be kept in these tiny walls of our unit, her voice has to be heard.

Then an idea hit me, I suddenly asked, "Althea, what do you think about me posting your old singing videos online?"

"Why?" she asked curiously.

"Because you're insanely good, and I think it's about time the world hears you."

She stared at me, albeit hesitantly and said, "Sure, Jade. I trust you."

So we set up an account on YouTube and shared the videos to our friends. "Now what?" she asked.

"And now we wait."

A few minutes after, we received notifications from our friends asking for more videos. The views are starting to increase, and a couple of random people are giving it a thumbs up.

She looked at me with admiration and said, "Thank you for helping me reach my dreams, Jade."

She kissed me on my cheeks and added, "Ang galing galing talaga ng girlfriend ko."

Girlfriend.

I froze.

Is that what we are now? Girlfriends?

Confusion and fear sets in as I looked at her.

With trembling voice, I said, "girlfriend?"

"Oh." she said as realization sets in. She placed her guitar on the floor and moved away from me. The short gap between us felt like we're different worlds apart.

Different pages, perhaps.

Tears fell from her eyes and as soon as I reached my hand out to wipe it, she quickly pushed it away.

"No, Jade."

"You can't keep doing this just because you know I'll let you."

"You know I'll give you the world, Jade... But please, stop giving me false hopes. It hurts too much."

With a deep breath she continued, "I understand where you're coming from. I'll give you time."

"Are we good?" I asked with a hopeful tone.

"Yes...I'll be in our room. I want to be alone," she said as she rushed to our bedroom.

I stayed in the living room, perplexed. I gave her space. I left her alone. I hear her muffled sobs across the hallway and it shatters my heart.

How could I keep doing this to her?

What the hell is wrong with me?

I am stuck. As usual. Lost and confused.

And scared.

Scared of all the consequences.

But most of all... scared to lose her.

All I know is that I love her.

I love her.

I love her.

I love her.

I once read that the universe expands at a rate of 45 miles per second. That's a lot. But it sure doesn't feel that way when you're standing still.

I don't wanna stand still anymore.

I opened the door and went inside our room, I saw her curled up under her blankets— sleeping.

I pushed my bed from the wall to the center of the room, until it met hers. The thud from my final push woke her up.

"What are you doing?" she asked groggily.

"From now on, I wanna sleep next to my girlfriend,"
I said.

The smile from her face reached her eyes as she understood what I meant.

"You're my girlfriend?" she grinned.

"Yes, I am yours and you are mine. Ayaw mo?"

"I love you, Jade."

"I love you too, lablab."

She raised her eyebrows and teased, "Lablab? When did we start having corny pet names for each other?"

"Since now," I said as I kissed her nose and curled up beside her.

She brushed my hair and gently traced small circles around my cheeks.

She kissed me, long and slow.

I buried my head in the crook of her neck and whispered, "No one has to know."

She sighed, and with a heavy heart she said, "Whatever you want, love."

END OF FLASHBACK

*************************************************

Jade's POV

Is that why she left me?

Because I was always so unsure. Inconsistent. Uncertain. Hesitant. Scared.

Because I always change my mind.

But I made up for it.

I know I did.

I sure as hell tried to make up for it.

So why?



Author's Note: Yay for 1K reads! Didn't even think that I'll reach 500. Haha. So what do you guys want for the following chapters? I'm considering to write a love scene but I seriously don't know how so it might take awhile. :)

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