"Maurice, please hand me that socket wrench," Dr. Octavius said as he studied one of the doors carefully.
"Yes, sir," Maurice said as he scrambled over to the bench and picked up the tool.
"Maurice, could you get me a hammer?" Lothar asked.
"Right away, sir," Maurice said.
"Maurice, this is the wrong size socket wrench," Dr. Octavius said. "Fetch me the smaller one from the cabinet."
"Yes, sir," Maurice said as he crossed the room again.
"Maurice," Lothar said. "My back itches. Would you please scratch it for me?"
"Of course, sir. But might I suggest you use the claw side of the hammer I just gave you? They make excellent self back-scratchers."
"I'm very busy pounding with the hammer right now," Lothar said. "No time for a back-scratching break. This kind of task is exactly why I hired you as my assistant."
"No problem, sir," Maurice said as he scratched Lothar's back for him.
"Maurice, I need you to fetch me my work goggles," Dr. Octavius said.
"They're on top of your head, sir," Maurice said. "Just pull them down over your eyes."
"My hands are busy. Would you pull them down for me?" Dr. Octavius asked.
"Yes, sir," Maurice said as he scrambled over to Dr. Octavius and lowered his goggles for him.
"Maurice, now my buttocks itch," Lothar said. "Would you be so kind as to scratch them for me?"
"Okay, sir," Maurice said as he ran back over to Lothar.
"Maurice, I need you to remove my goggles for me now," Dr. Octavius said.
"Coming, sir," Maurice said as he ran back across the room.
"Maurice, this hammer is in my way now," Lothar said. "Please remove it from my vicinity for me."
"One hammer being put away, sir," Maurice said as he scooted over to the table and took the hammer.
"Maurice, my brow is sweating and it's dripping into my eyes," Dr. Octavius said. "Would you grab a hanky and wipe off my brow for me?"
"I've got a clean hanky right here, sir," Maurice said as he pulled one out of his pocket and scurried back across the room.
"Maurice, I'm going to need that hammer again," Lothar said.
"Let me grab that for you, sir," Maurice said as he hurried back across the room to get the hammer.
"Maurice, the top of my head feels sweaty, too," Dr. Octavius said. "Would you please wipe it off for me as well?"
"Yes, sir," Maurice said as he pulled his hanky out again.
"Maurice, I'm afraid I'm starting to feel the need to urinate," Lothar said. "I'm way too deep into this research to take the time to go to the restroom. I'm going to need you to grab a beaker, unzip my pants, and hold the beaker in position as I relieve myself."
"Um, okay, sir," Maurice said as he went about his assigned task. "I didn't realize what a challenge it would be to have two bosses."
There was a knock at the door. "Maurice, would you answer the door? That's probably the specialist that I enlisted."
Maurice ran to answer the door. A large tiger stood there holding a cube in his hands. "Hello, I'm Benjamin the geometric constructionist. Is Dr. Octavius here?"
"Come in," Maurice said as he closed the door behind him.
"Benjamin!" Dr. Octavius called out. "Come in. These are the doors I spoke to you about. Some of them are evidently capable of changing shapes. Since you're the only shape specialist I know of, I thought perhaps you could study them. Maybe see exactly what sort of shapes they're capable of assuming."
"It would be a pleasure," Benjamin said as he set down his cube and pulled a stool up to the table.
"This is our assistant, Maurice," Dr. Octavius said. "Feel free to consider him your assistant as well."
"Okay," Benjamin said. "Maurice, I'm going to need a protractor. Would you mind getting me one?"
"Of course, sir," Maurice said.
"Maurice, I need a screwdriver over here," Lothar said.
"I'm on it, sir," Maurice said.
"Maurice, there's a fly buzzing around my workspace," Dr. Octavius said. "Would you mind swatting it for me?"
"On top of it, sir," Maurice said as he grabbed a flyswatter.
"Hi there," the fly said. "My name is Phil and I'm here to tell you about a great moneymaking opportunity."
Unfortunately, Phil's voice was too quiet to attract Maurice's attention before he got squashed by the flyswatter.
"Maurice, I'm going to need a measuring stick," Benjamin said.
"Maurice, I need you to get me a pair of pliers," Lothar said.
"Maurice, I need you to get me that hammer that Lothar was using," Dr. Octavius said.
"Maurice, I need a plunger," Benjamin said.
"Maurice, I need that hammer back from Dr. Octavius," Lothar said.
"Maurice, I'm getting overheated," Dr. Octavius said. "I need you to grab that paper fan over there and wave it at me."
Maurice was working up a solid sweat as he ran back and forth across the room. There was another knock at the door.
"Maurice, would you get that?" Dr. Octavius, Lothar, and Benjamin said at the same time.
He opened the door and an obviously inebriated Max stumbled in with Sarah and Milosh behind him.
"What's going on, science dorks?" Max said.
"Hey babe," Sarah said as she kissed Maurice on the lips.
"Is good to see you," Milosh said. "Hugs for Milosh." Milosh gave Maurice a big hug.
"Maurice, my feet are aching," Lothar called out. "Would you come rub them please?"
"Good to see you, honey," Maurice said. "Now if you'll excuse me I've got to get back to work. Busy busy."
"So what's the deal, Doc?" Max asked. "Are we making any progress with these things or what?"
"Some," Dr. Octavius said. "We still don't have a solid grasp on exactly how they work, but we're beginning to identify what they do. There's one door that Lothar believes he can 'program' to go to any destination he chooses, so long as he has coordinates for it."
"Fascinating stuff," Max said. He turned and noticed Benjamin for the first time. "You look familiar. Didn't I used to buy drugs from you back in the day?"
"I'm the shape specialist," Benjamin said.
"Shape specialist?" Max said. "Oh, then you must be the guy that helped me out with that custom made sex doll I purchased, uh, for my buddy."
"That wasn't me," Benjamin said. "I remember you. You and your friend Zeke helped me out with that circle problem I was having awhile back."
"That's right." Max snapped his fingers. "I knew I knew you. I never forget a face. Or a nice ass."
"Is Zeke the same buddy you bought the sex doll for?" Benjamin asked.
"Yep. He's the one that wanted it." Max darted his eyes back and forth.
"Zeke says hello," Milosh said.
"So, what's this you're saying about being able to program doors to go where you choose?" Max asked. "I've been thinking about what you said about how any universe I can imagine exists somewhere. Does that mean if I imagine a universe, you can program a door to take me there?"
"Maybe we could do that someday when we understand the doors a little better," Dr. Octavius said. "For now, it only works for known locations. We could program a door to take you inside Ned's Discotheque, for instance."
"Hmm," Max said. "That could be very useful for getting past cover charges. Do you think you could program a door that goes inside Keith's Topless Valhalla? I've got to throw a bachelor party tomorrow night and it's the hippest strip club in town. Or so I hear, at any rate. I've been asking around a bit and that seems to be the consensus. Apparently there's a long waiting list to even get in that place."
"If you can give me the exact location, we can probably do it," Lothar said. "It will be a good test to see if our doors work the way we want them to."
"I will get you that info for sure," Max said. "Well, I think I need to pass out now. Do you guys have a cot or something in the back room I could use?"
"I've taken the liberty of renting out a few rooms at the Galloping Centipede Inn for our use," Dr. Octavius said. "Just tell the front desk you're with the Octavius party."
"Even better," Max said. "It's been awhile since I slept in a real bed. At least since the last time my wife threw me out of the house."
"Max, aren't you forgetting something?" Sarah asked.
"Did I set an unfinished drink down around here somewhere?" Max said looking around frantically. "If so, God bless you for reminding me."
"No, you idiot," Sarah said. "Invite Maurice to your party."
"Aw, do I have to?" Max said. "No offense, but that guy's kind of a drag."
"I'm standing right here," Maurice said.
"Do it, frog," Sarah said.
"All right, all right. Don't get your panties in a bunch. Here's the deal, lab boy. Tomorrow's Lawn Chair Day, so I'm planning on lounging around all day with some cold mojitos to celebrate. Once the sun sets we'll meet back here and go through one of those doors to Keith's Topless Valhalla. Be there or be square. Or pear-shaped, as the case may be in your particular instance." He whirled around and waggled his index finger in Sarah's face. "And I'm a toad. Not a frog. Stop being culturally insensitive." He let out a loud belch and stomped out of the room.
"I'm getting pretty tired, too," Sarah said. "I think I'll head over to the hotel and turn in. You coming, sweetie?"
"I need to stay here and assist with the research," Maurice said. "This is really important work. I'll catch up to you later."
"I'll ask the front desk to tell you what room I'm in," Sarah said. "You can join me whenever you're finished here."
"Milosh will come with you to hotel," Milosh said. "Is very tired. Is also about to die horrible, agonizing death inside of black hole. Is hoping to have sweet dreams tonight."
"Okay, you can come, but you're sharing a room with Max," Sarah said. She gave Maurice another kiss before leaving.
"Maurice, I need you to bring me some bolt cutters," Benjamin said.
"Maurice, come hold a tissue to my nose for me," Lothar said. "I need to blow it."
"Maurice, I'm beginning to get peckish," Dr. Octavius said.
"I'm hungry, as well," Lothar said.
"Now that you mention it, I'm a bit hungry, too," Benjamin said. "I could really go for a skunk burger right now."
"Skunk burgers sound excellent," Lothar said.
"Yes, I believe a good skunk burger would hit the spot," Dr. Octavius said. "Maurice, go fetch us some skunk burgers."
"Yes, sir. Right away, sir. Where shall I obtain these skunk burgers from, sir?"
"Any dive around here should sell them," Dr. Octavius said. "Just go to whatever diner you happen to come across. The greasier, the better."
"You got it, sir," Maurice said as he headed out the door.