"T minus forty minutes until we reach the event horizon," Captain Torean said. "Are the bogies still on our tail?"
"They're still there," Zannah said. "They're maintaining their distance, though. I think they're waiting to see what we do."
"I've got some major butterflies in my stomach," Sadie said. "I don't know if I'm ready to die."
"Shall I sing a song to ease your final moments?" Trey asked.
"Please don't," Zeke said.
Trey opened his mouth and a beautiful, pure tone filled the air. He started softly, but gradually gained intensity as he sang a mournful melody. His voice echoed off the wall and he began harmonizing with himself in complex patterns. By the time he finished everyone's eyes were watering, except for Zeke. Even Wayne the robot wiped away a tear.
Milosh pulled out a hanky and blew his nose. "Is absolutely astonishing. Milosh is ready to die now. Of course, Milosh will also go on living on Ingleblott, so no big deal really."
"That song spoke to my very soul," Sadie sniffed. "I've never heard such lovely music in my life."
"Did you like it?" Trey asked. "I composed it on the spot. I like to feel the music deep inside and let it just flow through me."
"You are truly a conduit to the gods, Trey," Zannah said.
Bumble-Boo let out a little sigh while Shazmar pinged contentedly.
"Simply exquisite, I must say," Nulfar said. "Not even on Hoobler have I heard music of such sophistication and beauty."
"It almost makes me want to give up wrestling and just give hugs," WBDG said.
"Hugs for Milosh," Milosh said as he gave WBDG a warm embrace.
"Jesus Christ, people," Zeke said. "It wasn't that great. I've heard better music than that in elevators."
"Geek has no musical taste either," Captain Torean said. "Damn, son. No taste in music, no sense of humor. Do you enjoy anything?"
"Hey, I enjoy lots of stuff," Zeke said. "I'm just saying you guys are all making a big deal out of mediocrity. I mean, I guess I understand pretending it was amazing since it's probably the last music any of us will ever hear, but we can tone it down a little bit, can't we?"
"Perhaps you feel you can do better. Would you care to sing a song for us, Geek?" Trey asked.
"I'm not much of a singer," Zeke said. "I can play a mean triangle. You got one of those around here?"
"Why, it just so happens I'm the best triangle player in the known galaxy," Trey said as he reached into a compartment in the wall and pulled out a triangular-shaped case. He unzipped it and pulled out a solid gold triangle and a stick that appeared to be encrusted with diamonds.
"You have got to be kidding me," Zeke said. "This is a complete joke, right?"
"No joke," Trey said as he began banging on the triangle with the stick. His hand moved in a blur as he pounded out a complicated rhythm.
"Please, just stop," Zeke said as he reached out and grabbed the triangle.
"Did you wish to show us your chops?" Trey asked as he offered it to Zeke.
"No thanks. I'm just not really in the mood for music right now, okay?"
"How about jokes?" Wayne asked. "I've got one for you. How many morons does it take to get themselves killed in a black hole? Eleven! Twelve, if you count the goat."
"Maybe we could just kind of silently meditate for the last few minutes of our lives?" Zeke said.
"I don't think I can take the silence," Sadie said. "I need something to distract me. Is it really possible we could go to another universe?"
"Anything's possible," Nulfar said.
"Agreed." Wayne said. "But my calculations indicate that it is highly unlikely."
"I've been to another universe before," Zeke said.
"Milosh is in another universe right now," Milosh said.
"What was the other universe like?" Sadie asked.
"Well, what can I say," Zeke said. "It was dangerous and frightening, but I handled myself like a true pro. A lesser man would have probably been driven insane, but I, of course, am no ordinary man."
"Is not so bad," Milosh said. "Is enjoying getting shit-faced with friends Max, Sarah, and Bobby."
"Yeah, good old Max, Sarah, and Bobby," Zeke said. "Wait a minute, what are you talking about? How do you know about those guys?"
"Is hanging out with them right now," Milosh said. "Would you like Milosh to say hello?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess so," Zeke said.
"Is trying, but is hard to get a word in edgewise. The frog talks a lot."
"That certainly does sound like Max," Zeke said.
"T minus ten minutes," Captain Torean said. "If you guys have any last items on your bucket lists, now is the time."
WBDG tackled Zeke and put him into a headlock.
"Hey, what the hell are you doing?" Zeke asked as he struggled against the donkey.
"If I'm going to go out, I want to do so while having a glorious wrestling victory. Victory being the key word here. Sizing up the competition around here you seemed like my best chance to achieve that goal."
"Damn it," Zeke said through clenched teeth. "This isn't how I want to go out, you selfish prick. Milosh? A little help here?"
"Is not wanting to deprive friends of one last feeling of glorious victory or agonizing defeat," Milosh said.
"Fine, I give up," Zeke said as his face turned a bright shade of red. "Uncle."
"No surrender!" WBDG shouted as he attempted to pin Zeke's shoulders.
Zeke was about to go down for the count when his eyes happened to fall on Trey. Taking note of the arrogant smirk on his face, Zeke suddenly found a new source of strength. He managed to flip over on top of WBDG and pinned him to the ground. He counted to ten and let out a victorious holler.
"Good match," WBDG said. "With the utter shame I now feel, I am completely ready to get crushed to death in a black hole."
Zeke stood up and dusted himself off. "You were right, Milosh. The thrill of victory does feel pretty good."
"I could have told you that," Trey said. "I have known many, many victories. Each and every one feels positively glorious. I'd like to feel that feeling one last time myself. Care to arm wrestle, Geek?"
"Not really," Zeke said. "Not because I'd lose, I just don't really want to hold hands with you. I don't know where that thing's been, after all."
"T minus five minutes," Captain Torean called out.
Bumble-Boo let out a distressed chirp and latched on to Sadie's leg. "It's going to be all right, sweetie pie," she said as she stroked his head.
"The enemy ships appear to have stopped," Zannah said. "It doesn't look like they want to follow us into the black hole. They're holding their position though to keep us boxed in. It's not too late if we want to turn around. We could possibly take a few of them out with us."
"Don't do anything crazy now, Zannah," Captain Torean said.
"Flying purposefully into a black hole isn't crazy?" she asked. "I swore to avenge my people. At least we can go down swinging. There's honor in that."
"There's honor is possibly living to fight another day, too," Captain Torean said. "Besides, we've already made the decision. In less than two minutes now it's going to be too late to turn back anyway."
"I also do all of you a great honor in allowing you to perish along side of me," Trey said. "Your names will all go down in the history books and you will be mentioned, probably briefly, in the many songs that are sung about me."
"Could you be more of a douchebag?" Zeke asked. "Seriously, nobody's going to be singing any songs about you, unless they're in commercials for douche products."
"It's been really nice getting to know all of you," Sadie said. "Maybe I'll see some of you in the next life."
"Or on the other side," Nulfar said. He put a protective hand on his new friend Archduke Wilhelm the Goat.
"Ten seconds until the point of no return," Captain Torean said.
Zeke looked around the cabin. "I guess it's now or never," he said as he grabbed Sadie in both arms and planted a big kiss on her lips just as they crossed over the event horizon.