March 28, 2009
"Jaaaaade! Congratulations! Why didn't you tell me?" I ran up to her as she walks down the aisle, crushing her into a tight embrace.
"I wanted to surprise you. Okay naman ba speech ko?" She asked worriedly.
"You were brilliant." I smiled as I handed her a bouquet of white lilies and hydrangeas.
"You didn't have to. But... Thank you" She blushed as she smelled the flowers.
"I love them," she added.
"Our Ms. Valedictorian deserves the best, right?" I teased as I laced our arms together and guided her towards the exit where her family is waiting for her.
Today was Jade's high school graduation. I was running a bit late because I had my final exam this morning, but thankfully, I arrived just when Jade was about to deliver her valedictory speech.
She was amazing... as usual.
I was surprised, actually. I know Jade is smart and wise beyond her years but I didn't know that she was running for valedictorian. All the days we spent together and she didn't mention anything.
This girl never ceases to amaze me.
The celebratory dinner with her family was uneventful. A couple of praises from her relatives were thrown, and Tito Oscar was up all night showing off her precious daughter where Jade just responded with a tight lipped smile. I asked her if she was okay, but she said she was just tired.
Batchi, Sally, and David also came. Jade also invited Abby but she couldn't make it because there's no one to take care of her baby girl tonight.
David became our friend since Gab always brings him at the mansion. At first, we were a bit awkward with each other, but ever since he joined Paul and I in a match of Tekken, we became okay. He would sometimes hang out with us at the coffee shop wherein he also met my friends and Jade's. We eventually got along just fine. Especially when I noticed how he stopped looking at Jade like a fresh meat or something.
We never talked about what he saw during Simbang Gabi. I just assumed that he understood.
I am not claiming Jade to myself or anything like that. She's no one's property. But I am very grateful for David.
When dinner was over, Tito Oscar and Tita Amanda came up to our table holding a thick envelope.
"Anak, may sorpresa ako sa inyo ng mga kaibigan mo." Tito Oscar proudly smiled as he gave Jade the envelope.
"Dada, what's this—" she paused, and for the first time that night, Jade genuinely smiled.
"Oh my God! We're going to Bora!" she shrieked upon realizing that the envelope contains 5 plane tickets to Boracay.
"Yes hija. You and your friends deserve this vacation amd besides, last weekend niyo na makakasama si Sally at balita ko ay kukunin ka na ng parents mo para mag-aral sa States, tama ba hija?" Said Tito Oscar as he leaned closer so that his daughter could give him a kiss on the cheeks.
"Yes tito, I'm leaving next week." Sally happily said.
"3 days, no supervision. Himala at pumayag ang Dada mo kaya mag-iingat kayo dun Jade ha. Tatawag kayo palagi. Althea, ikaw na bahala dito sa unica hija namin ha." Tita Amanda added.
"Opo, tita." I said excitedly.
"Sige na, tumayo na kayo diyan dahil tonight's your flight. Wag na kayo magaalala dahil nakahanda na lahat ng gamit niyo, naipagpaalam ko na rin kayo sa inyong mga magulang."
***
We arrived at a 5-star resort situated in a quiet corner of Station 1 at around 10PM. We placed our luggages inside the suite as I surveyed the entire room. Luxurious.
A spacious living room with a big LCD TV. A kitchenette. A small dining area. 2 bathrooms; one with a small bath tub and another one with a jacuzzi. 2 rooms.
I opened the first room. Small but spacious with a single bed. David's.
I proceeded to the next room. It is probably the master's bedroom because it is about three times the size of the other room but... with 4 single beds.
This is gonna be a long night.
I mentally laughed to myself. I don't know whether to feel disappointed or relieved. But who am I kidding? Tito Oscar probably requested for this.
David went out to meet some of his friends that are also in the island, while Batchi and Sally are already sprawled on the bed— half asleep.
Jade answered a call from her mom and went inside the bathroom to take a shower while I was left alone with my own thoughts in the living room.
I went to the kitchen and opened the mini bar. I haven't had a drink in a while and I think that tonight calls for a celebratory drink. I took 2 bottles of Corona and went to the bedroom. I tried to wake Batchi and Sally up but they wouldn't budge. They're probably too exhausted to care. So I rummaged through my bag, took my emergency pack of Marlboros and went to the beachfront.
I settled on a quiet corner at the edge of the beach. I sat on the sand, opened a bottle of beer and took a sip.
Ahhh. I missed this.
I looked into the horizon where the dark sky is painted with the pale blue moon scattered with twinkling lights from the stars. Something that we seldom see in the busy streets of Manila.
The crashing waves and the faint noise I hear from the people partying at Station 2 gave me a calming and melancholic feeling.
I sighed.
What am I gonna do with Jade?
I'm falling in love with her.
I am in love with her.
So deep... So hard...
I don't know what to do with it.
I don't know if she feels the same way...
I don't want to lose her...
I took a stick from my pack and lit it up. I took a drag from my cigarette, and another, and another— waiting for the nicotine to kick in.
"I didn't know you smoked." Said the voice that I will recognize anywhere.
"Sometimes." I casually replied.
"And you drink, too?" She asked, not accusingly, as she sat next to me.
"Old habits die hard. I'm of legal age, Jade. I could do whatever I want."
"When did you start?"
"After my mom died, I guess." I simply replied.
"But you were so young then! 13? 14?" She asked, bewildered.
"I know. I joined the wrong crowd when I was young. I thought it was cool—" I paused
"It was a simple act of rebellion. I was so lonely, and mad, and confused... so confused... I didn't understand what was happening around me.. what's happening with myself," I paused as I took another swig from the bottle.
"I thought it was a good excuse to find myself or something." I laughed as I recalled all the stupid things I used to do.
Jade didn't seem amused. She faced me, and with a thoughtful look in her eyes asked me, "Did you find yourself then?"
"Somehow. Those hazy days made me realize what I don't want. All those nights when boys are trying to make a pass at me made me acknowledge something that I've known but been trying to suppress all along. And during that drunken night when one of my girl friends kissed me on a dare... I confirmed that I don't like boys."
She looked at me confused.
"The alcohol didn't actually help me with anything though, it was something that I've known all along but was too scared to admit to myself. But the alcohol and the bunch of rascals I used to hang out with sure made my journey to self discovery fun. It's stupid, I know. But I don't regret it."
"Can I try it?" Jade asked seriously.
"No! I don't wanna get imprisoned!" I said, shocked that Jade would actually like to try.
"I'm turning 18 in a couple of months. I'm almost legal. Please!" She pleaded.
And before she tries to persuade me more, which I know that I would eventually surrender, I asked her a question.
"Why were you sad awhile ago," I asked. "Is it because Sally is leaving?"
She leaned her head against my shoulders and sighed.
"No... Partly, yes... But it's Dada."
"What did he do?" I sincerely asked as I buried my cigarette butt.
"Remember how we had an agreement before? That I have to top all my classes so that he would allow me to take up whatever course I want?"
I nodded my head yes. Jade got accepted in UP for the following school year, which means that we will now be going to the same university. Based from what I know, her dad already gave her the blessing to enroll in Legal Management.
"Well... there's a catch. He changed his terms and told me that as soon as I graduate, I will start working as the company's lawyer. That's the only way he will pay for my tuition."
"And what's so bad about that?" I asked, confused.
"Well... I don't want to. That's not what I want. It's unfair, I worked my ass off just so I could abide by his rules and then this..." She said as she drew circles on the sand.
"Then what do you want?"
"To change the world." She said.
I giggled and faced her.
She frowned.
"I'm sorry for laughing. But isn't that what we all want, to change the world?"
"I know it sounds cliché, like some rich girl philanthropist extraordinaire or something, but I want to work for the less fortunate. I want to handle the cases of the oppressed, hear the unheard, give them voice... I want to help people out. I want to make a difference." She honestly said.
Wow. Is this girl even real? I asked myself.
"You don't have to change the world right away, Jade. You could start with one person, or even with yourself. You might not notice it, but you are constantly making a difference to the people around you," I sincerely said as I wrapped my arms around her cold shoulders.
You changed me Jade.
If only you knew how much you did.
And you still do... Everyday....
"And besides, you're still young. You still have a lot of years ahead of you. Stop worrying too much." I added.
"I just want my freedom. I feel so trapped in this life my parents planned for me. Even if just for a tiny bit, I want to experience a sense of independency. I think that's why he let us go on this trip, because I was so pissed at him and I wasn't talking to him for days. Sort of like a bribe." She huffed, clearly still pissed at her controlling dad.
"You have your freedom now, we have three days." I told her with a mischievous glint.
"Psh. Three freakin' days."
"I want to experience a lot of things, Althea. But how could I if my dad is breathing down my neck every single time I make a move? I want to do all the things I read from my books. When I grow old, I want to have stories to tell about my firsts. Is that too much to ask?"
"I'm so tired of being the perfect daughter," She said as she let out a deep breath.
"Here, take a sip of my beer." I said when she finished ranting. I took the bottle and gave it to her.
"I'm giving you your first." I told her.
She understood what I meant. She smiled and took a swig of the alcoholic drink.
"Easy now, tiger." I laughed as she gulped some more. I gave her a questioning look, asking how she finds it.
"Well, it's not that bad," she paused as she took another swig.
"I kinda like it." She smiled.
I lit another cigarette as I watch her gaze at the ocean, smiling contentedly. The faint light from the moon casting shadows on her pale smooth skin. Beautiful.
She took another swig, and another, and another— and I let her.
Not because I want her drunk, but simply because she looks so at peace as the alcohol starts to kick in.
"Can I try that?" I was startled as she spoke again, pointing at my cigarette. I noticed how flushed her skin is.
"No." I sternly replied.
"Another first? Please?" She pleaded.
And I gave in, like I always do.
I placed the filter in between her lips, and instructed her to breathe in deeply and slowly.
She took a long drag and coughed. It turned into a coughing fit and before we knew it we were both laughing so hard.
"I don't like that." As she continued to laugh as tears started to pool from her eyes.
I held her face and wiped the tears with the back of my hand. We were both looking at each other's eyes intently—smiling. Then I remembered something.
"Jade, I almost forgot... I have a surprise for you." I smiled. I was a bit nervous because she might not probably like the idea, but everything else is set so I have to tell her.
"What is it?" She asked, still smiling.
"We're both going to the same university next semester, right?"
She nodded, prompting me to go on.
"My dad bought me a condo unit near the uni... And I'll start living there next semester. And I already asked my dad if it's okay, and I already I asked your dad if he'll let you... and that you have to come home every weekend... and he said that if it was anyone else he wouldn't allow it... but since it's me...—" I mumbled nervously.
I exhaled and finally asked, "Jade, would you like to be my roommate?"
Her smile widened, as if this is the best thing she's ever heard of. She cupped my face, and slowly... Very slowly... Leaned her face towards mine...
With fumbling hands, she reached for the back of my neck and held me tighter.
I saw confusion and hesitation in her eyes—clouded by the alcohol.
"Of course," she whispered softly.
With one last look, she closed your eyes and softly pressed her lips against mine.
Another first.
It was brief.
Short, sweet, and innocent.
Probably fueled by the happiness from my surprise or from alcohol intoxication.
I don't know why she did it, but I let her.
She broke the kiss, held my hand, and leaned her head on my shoulders while I just quietly looked at the ocean— bewildered.
****
We never talked about that kiss afterwards. But something changed, something definitely changed...
Our friendship started to become something more, but definitely less than a romantic relationship.
We were in some sort of limbo, where both of us are too afraid to say something or make a move, and for awhile we were both contented with our unspoken agreement.
The next three days passed by as I let you experience all your 'firsts' that we could think of.
First tequila shot, first parasailing ride, first party, first street food, first cliff diving experience, first beer, first cigarette... and first kiss.
I was your first in a lot of things, Jade.
I am honored to be a huge part of your firsts. That is something no one can't take away from me... from us.
But first doesn't necessarily mean the last... All firsts must be followed by something... That is something I am sure of.
And that is why I have to let you go.
Love,
Althea
Author's Note: What do you guys think? Should I still continue? Please, let me know! :)