[january]
The busy atmosphere of the airport and the loud chattering sounds of the crowd cuts in between the audible noise from my music as I struggle to find a cab. New York is always a hard place to find a cab.
"Rose Publishings, please," I say politely to one taxi geezer who's patient enough to stop for me, but instead of letting me in the car, he shakes his head and drives off. I roll my eyes at the common rudeness here.
It was about a month after the incident and I came back to see Dad.
To my luck, after fifteen minutes of waiting, an airport taxi driver was kind enough to actually do their job and after long minutes of horrendous traffic and violent screams at delirious drivers, I arrived to what I used to call home. I still remember the smell of burning candles and the feeling of having water droplets trickling on my head for long periods of time due to the horrid incidents of constant air con leakage.
The building now smelt of newly painted walls, freshly constructed cement and it smelt new. It all smelt like it new and even though the renovated version didn't look bad, I miss how it used to look before this happened. Before all this hectic, life screwing, abrupt situation barged into my life and dragged me into an abyss of problems. And I can't help but feel suddenly nostalgic about remembering my past - I felt a little guilty for leaving dad for long time and I haven't seen him, I've just missed how much time we used to spend together.
I greet the people I used to work with, most of them were familiar faces that I was so close with a year ago, the people I used to work with brings back even more memories. Ah, New York, where it all started.
My workmates are the type of people who, honestly, are the most tired looking people you'll see, but they're also the most hardworking people you'll ever meet. Their breath still smells of coffee and their eyes obviously forced open by caffeine, but their spirit and enthusiasm as high as ever.
For some reason, I was somewhat nervous at the sight of Dad. How he'll feel about all this and my decision, plus it's been ages after the incident, what could Dad say?
I smoothen out my coat to weaken the appearance of the wrinkles on it so I look decent before knocking on the door to Dad's office.
"Come in." I hear the familiar voice. And I gulp down the lump in my throat. It's been a while.
I turn the knob and I see him. His face all old and his expression fixed on the computer consisting of his work, as always.
"Dad," I barely whisper as I walk towards the chair in front of his desk.
"Taylor?" He looks up and I instantly see him smile, "Sweetie!" His expression lights up and he comes over to hug me.
"I've missed you so much, Dad," I hug him as he rubs my back roughly, gently laughing out of pure joy.
"I've missed you too," He says back as we pull away.
"Now, how you've been doing?" He sits back down and I sit as well, but why is he acting like nothing had happened? Why is he acting as if he hadn't experienced death threats from Caleb and got tortured?
"Uh," I hesitantly answer, "Good."
"Isn't that so."
"Dad, is everything okay?"
"Everything is perfectly, honey, why?" He lightly smiles.
"Dad, you can't act like none of that happened, I know about it," I say in a more serious tone which instantly brings down his expression.
"I was hoping you wouldn't bring up that topic, but, uh," He looks away and sips his coffee.
"I'm sorry, I just..." My voice trails off.
"Look," He finally starts with his response, "I don't know what to say but sorry, I should've told you earlier about all this family business but being the stupid man I am I wasn't aware that Carl would have such a vengeful son and I let it get to me daughter."
"Well, you could've dealt with it back then, Dad," I sigh, a little anger firing up inside of me.
"I'm sorry, I just didn't think he'd strike like that. Putting you in danger and all."
After that it was just awkward silence and no one spoke for a while, we just stared silently onto our fidgeting hands that contained nervousness and thought.
"I'm moving to Portland," I finally decide to tell him and his eyes widen immediately.
"I don't see why you have to - I mean, you have a whole apartment here, a whole life filled with-"
"Dad," I cut him off, "I'm going to be living there with many other people, I technically work at the agency now."
"I don't understand?" He shakes his head, not seeming to process any part of thought.
"Please, I need to start a new life. I can't just linger and wander within a lost soul in New York. I've found where I'm supposed to be and I think it's Portland."
He thinks for a while and hesitantly nods.
"Robin created a good company. Trust Harry. He's a good kid," He mentions and I smile warmly.
"Of course, Dad," I stand up and he does so as well.
He pulls me into a tight hug and rubs my back. I've gotten hugs from my father when I was sad before, and those were the most comforting hugs but this one was the warmest and theres no better feeling.
"Bye, Dad."
"Be safe, sweetheart."
-
The trip to the airport was, again, restless, crowded and noisy. Despite the loud volume I've put and the amount of times I've tried to squish my headphones into my head, the crowd seemed to have distracted me every second I was walking, their chattering sounds, their noisy minds all exploding from different corners of the room. I couldn't wait to get out of this place and just live in peace for once.
I checked out of the apartment I used to live. But I still had it locked under my name because I didn't want anyone living there after a while, it made me feel uneasy letting go of the memories I had. Even though they were pretty bad, I didn't care. I met Harry and everything turned out fine and I'm happy now.
"Hey, where are you, darling," His voice rings through the other side of the dial.
"I'm near section E, where are you?" I ask back. He had agreed earlier on to pick me up in the airport and we decided on going back together.
"I see you," He says and by that tone I could tell a smirk was plastered on his face.
I look around and see him walking towards me. I quickly run, as my arms reach out for him, instantly pulling him into an embrace. His arms rest on my waist while he buries his face on my neck. It was still winter so our coats got in the way, but he manages to subtly kiss my lips before completely pulling away.
"Did he agree?" He asks, smiling.
"Yep," I nod and he smiles even brighter.
After the brief moment, we go home. Finally, a place where we could rest and nothing would happen out of the blue. Nothing to disturb us. Nothing to make us hesitant. Nothing giving us a reason to let each other go.
-
"Stitches," I order the assistant, she quickly passes me the stitches as I stitch the patient up hurriedly, but slowly to try not to prick the skin too hard to tear it apart. Sweat trickles down my forehead and I wipe it off with the sleeves hanging down my forearm.
It was three in the morning and I had a night shift. Of course, if there are perks there are negatives to living here. But I loved it. The agency was something filled with experience.
"Done. Thank you for your work," I nod to the other assistants as they say goodbye, I pull off my surgery gown and take off my gloves.
And another ordinary day passes.
I get up the elevator and head up to where Harry would be and as always, the door is left unlocked, but once I get in, I see no one.
I look at the desk to see a note.
You know where I am. It reads.
"Of course I know where you are," I roll my eyes and speak to myself.
Where else could he be. He'd be at the balcony we always go to nowadays. The wind was breezy and everything was perfect up there.
Even if I wasn't that bothered to go, I ignored my tired eyes and went anyway. I wouldn't want a bed without Harry.
After the exhaustion of going to where he is, I find him exactly at how I imagined he'd be. Sitting cross legged, staring out at the trees and the sky.
"Hey, baby," He smiles once he sees me entering.
"Hi," I smile back, leaning in to give him a quick kiss.
"I just wanted to ask you something."
"Anything," I say.
"Do you remember when we first met?"
"Of course I do," And with those words, my minds race through a billion memories I've experienced with him. Like light bulbs flickering on one by one and as soon as we know it, we're the only ones filled with those shining light bulbs. I see him in all of the memories whether its good or bad, but I don't care. This man makes me happy and thats all that matters.
"I clung on to you for so long, just lingered there until I found out who you were," I started to say, but a memory slides in my mind, "You got up at 6 in the morning everyday, I remember, what was that for?" I ask instantly memorising how I always see him up at that time.
"I had meetings about you," He chuckles and I swat him lightly. Of course.
"Thanks to whoever assigned me to this mission though," He says quietly, lifting his chin up with my fingers. "Because I got to meet you, and that's all that matters."
"I missed being curious," I randomly speak and he leans closer to me, our lips basically brushing against eachother as we talk. His muscles come in contact with my arms and his arms pulled me in closer.
"You won't have to," He smiles and pauses, "I want to be with you."
"I know," I giggle at his words and he pulls back to have a closer look at my face, but stares at my eyes intensely.
"I mean - I want to be with you. Spend my life with you."
I freeze.
"I want you to learn new things about me and I'll promise to show it to you everyday. We can both live together and spend infinite amount of nights with each other and know that nothing can change me and you or tear us apart."
My heart flutters at his words and I think of the idea.
"I want to spend forever with you. Buying new furniture in stores, getting kicked out for being too loud. Rubbing your tummy during the time of the month. Making you hot chocolate the way I know you like it every winter. Decorating Christmas trees. Reading books with you. Cooking with you and spilling all the ingredients. Everything. I want to spend it with you and I know I don't want it with anyone else," He says further on.
I think about it myself. Wouldn't that be great. That'd be absolutely perfect. Just every night being with him. Having perfectly imperfect moments.Being him makes me extremely happy and makes me smile from ear to ear and I'm more happy to hear he feels the exact same.
"I do too," I say back.
"All my best moments have happened because of you and I love you very much and I don't want you regretting spending some of it with me," He continues, his eyes still having doubt, but I was willing to look at him fully. To make him know that I'm willing to agree and be his.
"I wouldn't regret it for a bit, Harry. Thank you for making me happy and at ease. You're my other half."
"That's the best thing any man could hear you know that, Swift?" He points out and I laugh at his words.
"Is anything like that going to happen again?" I imply about the incident that happened with Caleb. That dragged on for a long time and I want to be reassured that it doesn't happen again.
"Darling, I don't know," He shrugs goofily, "But, even when the world breaks down and the skies fall and everything doesn't go right, I'd still be in love with you. I'd find any way humanly possible to find you and love you again."
And at that exact moment. I know where my heart belongs and I know I want to spend forever with him. As long as we have each other I'm convinced we're gonna go together for a time that drags on to what will seem like infinity.
"I love you,"I say as I kiss him lightly. He held my hand and kissed me. And that's how I know that this person is someone I'll finally keep forever and that my heart is settled with him. No matter what, my life has found this person that'll be in it from now on, until the end. Every matter that had been a burden finally subsided and all of worlds problems no longer existed in my mind.
His hands wandered around on my waist and he finally puts pressure on it to pull away.
"So.." His voice drags on, "Stay with me?"
"Always."
[end of subside, please read a/n below].
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SOOOOOO GUYSSS thats over and first of all, I'd like to thank every single one of you for reading and sticking with this book despite the slow ass updates haha!
there are a few people i'd like to thank that's been so sweet in the comments - i remember you for giving me precious support, it motivated me to actually finish this book. i remember some of you SO CLEARLY from WAYYYY back aka sweet melody (ew) and YOU, MY FRIEND, IS THE REAL MVP.
- karen, 1dswiftioner13 (H_LikeSwift on twitter)
- blackwhitestyles (inkedskystyles on twitter)
AND SOOO MANY MOREEEE that stupid me probably forgot to put in here.
but thank you for your endless support, they mean the world and without it, i wouldn't have finished this.
aaaand i've also wanted to discuss deleting both sweet melody and veiled melody. i don't feel like those stories deserve the amount of votes and comments there are because it's purely shit haha. i wrote that ages ago and it had no plot, no true storyline and i dont know where to go with it.
please commenet on whether you want me to keep going because i'll try to fix it and make it less cringy, i guess. but i just really have no where to go with it.
BUTTT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE started a new book, it's called remember and you guys should check it out because it's totally different (again) and its haylor and you know i love me some haylor feels :) but yeah, try it out and add it to your library!
haha well i guess its time for me to put the 'ended story' tick on subside and i hope this version of harry and taylor made a hell of a good ride.
again, thank you for reading.
as always, i love you guys x
- jane