My stomach grumbled for the millionth time, and I ignored it for the millionth time.
Why?
Well I got this text message from Fang Face:
It’s 6:00 PM. Genevieve want you to help her make cupcakes with her, and I want my cupcakes so get your ass out of bed you lazy shit. I also need you to taste better so please, eat as much as you want Chub Chub. :)
I’m not chubby, and I hate that smile face! So I texted him back angrily:
Nobody likes you.
And he quickly responded:
I'll put that on your grave stone. "She didn't like me."
So here I am, on my bed avoiding him downstairs. I know he’s there, I can…tell. I’m asking him to get rid of the bond; I’m done with this jerk. I’ll march up to him, and say ‘Hey, drive me to a hotel and give me 300,000 bucks for kidnapping me, and maybe I won’t contact the police. ’Yeah, that sounds good.
I rolled over on my side, buying another ring tone on my phone. I can’t wait to see his reaction to that. Whenever some kind of salesman calls this phone I always buy their product on his account. He makes it too easy I mean, he bought the phone on his account. So basically I have 100 three dollar ring tones, which I bought in the last thirty minutes.
Now the score will be at least three to ten.
I pulled myself off the bed, and to change my outfit to something more comfortable. I settled for white sweatpants, white underwear, a white tank top, and white fuzzy socks. Hey, it’s not like I live in a house with Vampires that drink blood constantly and it might get on my shirt.
That would be freaky.
I turned my bedroom light off, and padded down the dimly lit hallway. I heard familiar screams, and moans from opposite hallways, and random bits of conversations from different rooms. By now nothing bothers me in this dark, creepy house. I’m pretty use to it. The other day I was walking down this hallway, and some random girl came out screaming. It reminded me of myself when I met Valentine in the Coffee House, and the irony is the guy that pulled her back into the room kind of looked like him. These days, I only scream at him every hour. Oh, how we have grown. I counted the candles on the wall to the staircase, as I usually do. By the way there are exactly eight.
I finally reached the staircase and started descending it on the right side, keeping my right hand on the railing, like the princesses do on TV.
Wow, I haven’t watched TV in forever...
Do they even have a TV here?
I stepped off the staircase, and turned right, walking down the hallway. Kitchen here I come, to get that food that makes me go yum! Yeah I just made that up.
“How wonderful, Sleeping Beauty has finally awakened,” I heard Alfred’s controlled voice say from behind me. I stopped in my tracks, and whirled around, to see Alfred with a smile on his face, and a tray in his hand.
“How do you know my name?” I blurted.
He cleared his throat uncomfortably, “Well, Master Valentine told me of course,” he stated simply.
“B-but… he wants everyone to think my name is Nata—“
“lie,” Alfred interrupted, “Did you even realize the name even has ‘lie’ in it Miss Heart?”
My mouth popped open, and I searched for words. “Wow, I didn’t even think of that. But isn’t there a girl whose name is Natalie Chang, that was supposed to be here or something?”
He shook his head, “Nope, Master Valentine probably made it up. We have had a full list of participants for years.”
“Oh really?” If I don’t play rough, I’m not going to get any answers here. I crossed my arms over my chest, and took a step forward; time to play Valentine. “So he wanted me to have a secret identity, but he also wants me to be in this whole Ceremony thing?” I retorted, glaring down at Alfred.
Alfred stood his ground, with a bored expression on his face. Ugh, I thought I was doing well! I guess I need to practice to be as commanding as Valentine.
Alfred made a face, “I wouldn’t exactly call it a ceremony; it’s more like an—“
“That’s enough Alfred,” Valentines voice snapped from behind me, making chills go down my back.
Alfred stayed calm, and bowed his head. “Sorry, you’re Highness.”
Way to give in Alfredo! Fight the man!
Well, if Valentine snapped at me like that, I probably would pee my pants, and not be as calm as Alfred was a few seconds ago. Oh wait, he snaps at me everyday like that, and you don’t see me wearing Depends….all the time.
“Alfred, did you ready the gym for me?” Valentine asked gently, hiding the fact that his fingers are pulling at the back of my sweatpants. I tried to move away from him, slightly doing the moon walk in the process.
Alfred gave me a weird look, then focused his attention back to Valentine.“Yes Master, I will now prepare some refreshments for after your workout?” He questioned, getting ready to leave.
“Yes, that would be great. Thank you.”
Alfred bowed, and walked away.
What a polite gentlemen. Scratch that what a phony, polite--
“Get in the kitchen and make me cupcakes,” a deep voice whispered harshly in my ear.
"No."
"Yes."
"No!"
Yes!"
He turned me around, and as usual gripped my chin with his gloved hand, “They better be delicious, or you will be up all night until they do.”
"No, or I'm going to spit in every one of them--"
His lips lifted into a dark smile, making me stop talking. The look on his face reads 'You-look-tasty-when-you-threaten-me.'
I gulped.
He put a firm hand on my upper arm, and practically lifted me off the ground, “Hmm, maybe I should just bench press you. You seem to be getting chubbier. I need about 140 pounds for each finger,” he commented, adding a wink.
I went to slap him in the face, and his hand grabbed my wrist at the last moment, and twisted it backwards. "Ow! Ow! Ow!"
He waved a finger in my face as if to scold me.“Bad girl. Now in the kitchen and make me cupcakes, and anything else you wish. Maybe I'll go easier on you during our rematch.”
I pulled my wrist from his grasp putting it to my chest. I forced myself not to turn around and attack him when I heard his far away voice start singing this, like the sound effects of a train:
“Chub chubchubchubchubchubchubchub choo choo!”
I'll make him cupcakes alright. But I know exactly what I'm going to do when he comes by to eat one.
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These cupcakes will be my best yet.
I opened the fridge, and my stomach growled. So much food! No! Focus Cassie! You need to complete this operation.
I took a carton of eggs out, and milk, then put it on the counter.
“Thank you Hun! You’re such a big help really you arem, I might be a Vampire but I’m still old,” Genevieve commented with a laugh, making pie strips to go on top of her apple pie.
I started to laugh, and put the cupcake liners in the tray. I reached over to grab the eggs and cracked some into the bowl, then added sugar, and then added vanilla and flour. I was about to stir it, when I thought of an excellent idea.
“Hey do you have anything for my stomach? It’s been bothering me,” I asked Genevieve, pressing on my stomach. She stopped fixing her apron, and turned to me with worry in her eyes, “Oh no really? Like what?”
“Umm…. I’m constipated,” I lied through my teeth, trying not to laugh.
She nodded her head, “Sure thing I can give you somedried prunes, and luckily I use to be a nurse!” She bragged cheerfully, going towards the pantry.
No! No!
“I’m allergic to Prunes!” I blurted.
“Oh…that’s alright then, we should have a few laxative pills laying around somewhere.” She scattered quickly to a black cabinet over my head, and moved around bottles, making them shake. Then finally took out a small white container, and handed to me.
I tried to open it. I pulled, and twisted and even smashed it against the counter. “Why won’t this—“
“--its child proof honey let me do it,” she took it from me, squeezed the lid and it popped right off.
I blushed, “Oops.”
“Only take one, two can make you stay on the toilet for hours!” she joked, handing me the container.
She smiled, and turned to finish the pie strips. I stared at the container of laxatives; I picked it up, and put it in bra, smiling to myself. I continued making the huge batter, spilling a bit of milk in the process, and getting flour all over my white tank top. I knew it was good to wear white!
Genevieve huffed, and carried the pie to the fridge. It hissed open, and I felt the cold air hit my arm, “Finally I’m all done! I’m going to go to bed even though it’s only 7:30. When you’re old like me you go to sleep early.”
I nodded my head and laughed loudly, “Sure, I can handle making cupcakes!” I joked, pretending to be a crazy person with the mixer.
“Ok then, goodnight.”
A whirl of air hit me, and she vanished. I want to be able to do that.
I took the bottle out of my bra, and opened the way she did. I poured a few into my hand, and placed them on the counter. Next I took my wooden spoon, and smashed the pills. Pushing the crushed pills into my hands, I threw them into the batter, and mixed.
He-he-he…
When I finished I poured the batter into the cupcake linings, and put them into the oven making sure to set the timer. I whipped sweat off my forehead with my forearm, and walked to the sink. Squeezing the soap I put tons of it on my hands, and cleaned my hands real good.
Now I can make a sandwich!
I took out a plate, and then ran to the fridge. I pulled open the fridge and took out cheese, ham, lettuce, tomato, pickles, and mayonnaise. Then I went into the pantry and took out some potato bread aka yellow bread.
“Yum!” I sang, as I carried everything to the counter.
I quickly started cutting the freshly washed tomato and lettuce, and then stacked all the ham and cheese slices on the one side of the bread, then added the lettuce tomato, mayonnaise, and of course a pickle on the side. I smashed the other slice of bread onto the sandwich, and pressed my body onto it to get it squished.
My stomach growled loudly, and my mouth watered in anticipation of me eating the deliciousness of my creation, when the alarm for the cupcakes went off.
“Ugh!” I stormed to the oven, and took the cupcakes out with oven mits, placing them on the counter. I turned it off, and waved my oven glove over the cupcakes, “good little ‘Laxie Cupcakes’ make Mommy proud, and cool down.
I took my sandwich, and skipped to the pantry to get icing, and sprinkles.
Lalalalalala I’m going to get him good! Ooh, maybe I should keep that to myself. I’ll do that jelly bean thing I did when I ate all the frosting in his Oreos. Oh, good times.
I hummed to myself happily, and tested the cupcakes with a finger. It’s so cold in this house that they are actually pretty done. I iced them with vanilla and chocolate icing, and put pretty blue and pink sprinkles on them. Why did I bother with the sprinkles and decorating them nicely? Well because:
A. He’s going to be shitting his insides out for a few hours.
B. I want them to look good, since he’s the only one that will be eating them.
I smiled and placed them all on a plate nicely. I felt a wind hit my back, and I turned around to see a sweaty, shirtless Vampire eating my sandwich. “Hey! Stop that I haven’t eaten all day!” I whined, coming closer to him. He raised the sandwich in the air, chewin on a big chunk of it. I jumped up to get it.
“Got to jump higher than that baby,” he said perfectly, even though he has a mouthful of food. I tried not to stare at his body, and continued jumping for the sandwich.
I tried to climb up his arm, and he lowered the sandwich, looking behind me. I jumped up and grabbed it, quickly taking a big bite of it.
“Vanilla or chocolate?” he asked, sounding like he was in some kind of trance. He started to walk towards them, and I watched the muscles in his back move as he went to grab it. He smelled it, and then stuffed the whole thing into his mouth, and then another. He turned around, and I started laughing because he looks like a Chipmunk with the cupcakes in his mouth. He frowned, and started to chew slower, his eyes focused on me.
Oh shit.Jellybeansjellybeansjellybeans.
He narrowed his eyes, and swallowed, “Very sugary,” he commented, grabbing another.
I scratched my head, realizing the pills are still in my bra. I nonchalantly, stretched, faced away from him, and hoped onto the counter by the cabinet. I took the laxative pills out of my bra, and put them into the cabinet. My hand was grabbed by his gloved one, halfway to the cabinet. A tingle shot down my back, and I whirled to face him.
“Laxatives,” He said the word in disgust, “you put laxatives in my cupcakes?”
I nodded my head slowly, watching his jaw clench, and unclench. His eyes glowed, and he pushed my body down the counter to the cupcakes.
“My body doesn’t work the same as yours, Cupcake. Laxatives have no affect on me. However, sugar pills are what you put in the cupcakes. Are you trying to get me hyper?”
I smacked myself on the forehead. Genevieve knew I was lying.
“Aw, what’s wrong Chubby Wubby? Didn’t get Fang Face?” Valentine mocked, flicking my nose with his finger.
I moved my head away from his, and narrowed my eyes, “You think your so amazing, don’t you.”
“I am amazing,” he said with an obvious tone, picking up another cupcake. He put it out, as if to offer it to me. I shook my head no. He looked down at my stomach, and snickered to himself.
My hands fisted and pulled at his arm, “I want the cupcake,” I bit out.
He smiled and put it to my face. I licked a small amount of icing, watching his reaction. His eyes flashed electric blue, and he rose an eyebrow, “You tease.”
“Tease this, you jerk,” I took the cupcake and smashed it into his nose, then rubbed it in good with my hand.
He stood there in shock, his arms to his sides, “You….little--’
I took another cupcake, and rubbed the icing all over his chest, making him gasp. He wiped the icing out of his eyes, and threw the cupcake to the ground.
He reached over and took a cupcake from the tray. “No, no!” I warned him, putting my hands up.
He grinned, “Yes, yes,” he whispered, and then smashed two cupcakes into my eyes. I stayed there, my mouth tight. Moments passed, the cupcakes fell off my face and smacked the ground.
I huffed out a breath an, and we both started wiping our faces in anger. Suddenly, both of us looked up at each other, and then whipped our heads to the fridge, with the same thought on our brains.
Food Fight.
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