A month had passed since Camila had surprised me with our second date. We were on great terms and for the first time I felt like we were having a steady relationship that wasn't a constant rollercoaster. Even with our busy schedules, we made sure to make time for one another and relish every moment shared.
It wasn't easy but we made it work. At first it was hard for me to switch gears because Camila had other obligations that were more important. In my previous relationship, I had gotten used to seeing my girlfriend every day. Obviously we had moved in together fairly quickly, so the new approach of only seeing Camila every few days took some adjustment. I had never been opposed to it since I was adamant about not repeating our old patterns. Letting the other one have space seemed to work and eased my apprehension concerning her family life.
That way I was able to sustain an independence that I wasn't familiar with in relationships. I had a habit of fully immersing myself in someone once I was in a relationship. The past with Camila showed that perfectly. Whenever we had separated, I had been left with nothing. I didn't regret those choices because they had ultimately led me here but I was happy to know our bond wasn't as unhealthily dependent this time around.
Looking at the engraved pen in my hand, I couldn't help but smile. Keana appeared in front of my cubicle to pick me up for lunch. She wasn't paying me any attention and looked at her phone. I didn't need her to say anything though and got up from my chair. We made our way downstairs and just as we walked outside of the revolving door, we bumped into Camila.
"Hey," she greeted with a big smile.
"Hi," I responded with apparent surprise and kissed her lips softly.
"Hi Keana, how are you?" Camila focused on my friend afterwards and they exchanged a hug.
"I'm good. How are you?" the light brunette reciprocated genuinely.
"I'm great. I have the day off and I thought I would surprise Lauren for lunch," my girlfriend explained her visit.
"Sure, she's all yours," Keana replied while I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Oh, were you already planning to have lunch together?" Camila realized.
"That's alright. I'm getting a little sick of Lauren anyways," my friend winked but Camila was quick to interject.
"No, why don't we all go together?" her suggestion sounded good to me. "I mean, if that's ok?"
"I'm in," I said casually.
"I'd love to but I totally understand if you want some alone time," the PR intern somewhat consented to the plan.
Although Keana seemed hesitant at first, she decided to join in after all and the three of us headed to a nearby restaurant. I was pleasantly surprised how well Camila and Keana got along. They talked more to each other than to me but I didn't mind. If anything I wanted them to be comfortable with each other. Plus, Keana wasn't shy to begin with and complimented my girlfriend's outfit right away. I playfully told her to stop hitting on my girlfriend and enjoyed the laughter from them.
Everything went well until I saw my friend's eyes widening, looking at the door.
"Fuck," she hissed and tried hiding her face behind a menu.
"What's going on?" I asked puzzled.
"The guy that I hooked up with a few weeks ago just walked in," her answer was just above a whisper.
Focusing on the door instantly, I looked the young man over quickly. Even if I wasn't attracted to men, I had to admit he was good-looking. He was probably 6'1, brown hair, three-day stubble and looked like the artsy type. I knew Keana liked didn't like the clean-cut guys and the man approaching our table definitely had an alternative vibe to him. Wait...why was he approaching us? Had he seen Keana after all?
It wasn't until he reached our table that I noticed his brown eyes being fixated on Camila. My pulse sped up. My girlfriend's cheeks were turning bright red and I felt completely out of the loop.
"Hey Camila!" the mystery man said cheerily and bent down to hug her. "I haven't seen you in forever."
"Hi...yeah...I've been busy," the soccer player stammered for some reason and awkwardly reciprocated the hug.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," he flashed a smile that was worthy of a toothpaste commercial.
"Hi Julian," Keana finally put down the menu and the man's eyes grew wide.
"Oh," he blurted out but then laughed gently. "Hey, I didn't see you. How are you, Keana?"
"Good...just enjoying lunch with some friends," she answered formally.
"That's great," he nodded and the uncomfortable tension reached new heights. "Well um...I don't want to keep you from your lunch then. But it was nice seeing you. Enjoy," Julian made a quick exit suddenly and I was left dumbfounded.
It wasn't hard to guess what was going on. Camila cleared her throat and took a big sip from her tea. No one spoke for a few moments and I certainly didn't know what to say.
"That was fun," Keana broke the silence with irony in her voice to ease the tension.
"Who is that guy?" I couldn't contain my curiosity.
"He's a model or photographer...or both, I don't even remember," my friend explained. "We met at a club a few weeks ago and hooked up. Why did he come over here? Doesn't he know the rules after a drunken-fling? Never approach after the hook-up."
"I think he was more interested in seeing Camila," I said and the hazelnut orbs shot up to meet my gaze. "How do you know him?"
"We hung out a few months ago," Camila's answer was vague.
"You dated him?" I questioned while trying to sound as unfazed as possible.
"We went on a few dates," she confirmed and looked extremely uncomfortable. "It wasn't serious, though."
"I didn't know you were into guys as well," Keana interrupted and I had a feeling she did it on purpose to stop me from asking more questions. "That's so funny because Lauren and I had this conversation recently."
"What conversation?" the professional athlete frowned.
"Lauren basically interrogated me about being bisexual and how you can be attracted to both sexes," my friend blurted out in complete oblivion.
"You're bisexual?" Camila looked surprised before she shot me a quick glance.
"Hell yeah," Keana laughed and I knew she was trying to keep things light. "Who knew we had so much in common."
"Yeah, who knew," I muttered quietly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" my girlfriend's tone had taken an angrier nuance.
"Nothing," I replied defensively.
"I told you I casually dated a few guys before. Why are you making this a big deal?" the young mother asked with a sigh.
"You're acting weird, that's why," I shot back quickly.
"You're the one acting weird. I'm sorry I'm not bisexual enough for you," Camila rolled her eyes and her temper was beginning to flare up.
"That's not what I'm saying at all," I scoffed indignantly.
"Really? It sure sounds like you're mad that I dated guys which is ridiculous", the youngest snapped. "But what do I know, right? We have a real bisexual sitting here and you can ask her all the questions because you obviously value her opinion more than mine."
I looked at Keana in slight shock to the jab Camila had just taken.
"Camila, I can assure you that Lauren values you more than anything-," my friend attempted smoothing things over but Camila got up from her chair all of a sudden.
"Are you serious right now?" I asked in disbelief that she wanted to walk out like that.
"I'll go because I don't want to argue," she reminded me of the hot-headed teenager from years ago whenever she became this angry.
"Camila-" I tried stopping her but she walked off in a hurry leaving me behind in shock.
"What the hell did just happen?" Keana was just as confused and looked at me. "I didn't mean to upset her."
"You didn't," I instantly interjected. "Maybe she just needs to cool off. I'll call her after lunch."
"Call her now," Keana said quietly. "Or go after her. I feel horrible. You guys were so happy and after one lunch with me you're fighting."
"Stop, "I shook my head. "Believe me, once she gets this mad there is no point in going after her. She usually needs a moment to herself and then we'll talk."
"Fine," the light-brunette sighed deeply.
Instead of calling Camila after lunch, I decided to talk to her in person. Assuming she was at home, I didn't have any important meetings this afternoon and would show up a little late to work. Lara was still at school and I didn't want this argument to linger on when it didn't have to.
Knocking on the familiar door, I waited a few moments before Camila opened up. She let me in without saying a word. We walked into the kitchen and I decided to make the first step.
"Can we talk about what happened at the restaurant?" I began carefully.
"I'm sorry for walking out like that," her apology sounded sincere.
"Why did you get so angry?" I wanted to know.
"I was upset because you made me feel like you're questioning my feelings for you," Camila revealed more vulnerably. "Based on what? That I haven't dated other women? I can't change that. All I can do is show you how much you mean to me and how strongly I feel about you. I felt like you're not taking my feelings seriously due to the fact that I was only with men besides you."
Letting her words sink in, they made absolute sense.
"You're right," I was quick to admit that I was wrong. "I overreacted. And I'm sorry I made you feel that way. That wasn't my intention but I can see how you would feel like that. I take your feelings very seriously. I'm really sorry. When that guy showed up, I couldn't help but be jealous although it's silly."
"You have no reason to be jealous, Lauren," Camila stressed with determination. "We had a few dates but that was it. He seemed more interested than I was and so I stopped seeing him. That's why I felt awkward earlier. I wasn't sure how he would react and kept quiet because of it."
"I get it," I replied genuinely. "And...you don't have any reason to be jealous either," I added to see her frowning. "Keana and I are good friends but that's it. Maybe I shouldn't have talked to her about my stupid insecurities about your sexuality but in all honesty, she helped me understand it better. And I hadn't thought about it until today."
"I know she's your friend but I was surprised when she said she was bisexual," my girlfriend revealed. "You never mentioned it."
"It's not like it matters," I shrugged.
"I'm just going to ask this once because I'm curious but...did you two ever hook up?" her voice carried tension.
"No," I instantly answered truthfully.
"Not even in college?" Camila looked astonished.
"No," I reiterated. "We partied a lot together in college but we weren't as close."
"I feel like such an asshole right now," she sighed loudly. "Please tell her that I'm sorry for snapping at her. She probably thinks I'm a lunatic."
"She actually felt bad herself," I laughed softly.
"Why?"
"Because she thought you were upset with her," I spoke honestly and approached her slowly. "She told me to go after you but I wanted to give you some space first."
"Oh God," she groaned and shook her head. "Tell her I'm sorry and that I'm an idiot."
"I will," I laughed louder this time before coming to a stop in front of her. "But first I need a kiss so we can squash this stupid argument."
Receiving my favorite smile from her, she cupped my face in her hands before pressing her lips against mine. There was a faint taste of peppermint on them which made me smile. We were both always equipped with something to sustain fresh breath. I even kept a tube of toothpaste in my nightstand in case we wanted to kiss before getting out of bed. She had laughed at me first but apparently she had adapted my ways by now. Considering how much we kissed when we were together, it wasn't a bad thing at all.
"Look at us," she smiled against my lips. "Having arguments and resolving them so quickly. Who would have thought?"
"I know right?" I couldn't hide a big grin. "We're so grown-up, babe," I added with a hint of irony.
"You definitely look grown-up," the brown orbs scanned my outfit and I kinked an eyebrow. "I have to admit that I love the way you dress for work."
"Oh really?" I was pleasantly surprised to hear that.
"Yeah, you look so sophisticated and chic all the time," Camila smile became more flirtatious. "I can see you walking down the hall at work in your heels, pencil skirt and soft blouses while making all heads turn."
She was basically describing what I was wearing at the moment and I had no idea she liked that type of clothing on me. Making eye contact, I felt her fingers softly tracing the fabric of my blouse, brushing over the buttons running down my torso. She was a bigger tease than she let on but I thoroughly enjoyed that side of her. It was clear to me that she wasn't as experienced but within the past weeks she had become a lot more comfortable.
It showed in the confidence she exuded now in moments like these. Her fingers continued playing with the buttons on my blouse without actually opening a single one. Taking a deep breath, I put my hands on the kitchen counter behind her. She was trapped in my arms so to speak. I leaned in but didn't kiss her. Simply resting my forehead against hers, I built up the tension before connecting our lips.
Kissing her had always felt otherworldly. The fact that her lips were so full was a plus already but her kissing abilities only heightened the sensation. We were able to spend hours making out without going further. I was slightly greedier today. Trapping her bottom lip in between mine, I sucked on it mildly before biting down. Camila's breath hitched for a second and I used the momentum to tilt my head for a deeper kiss.
Her lips parted reflexively, allowing me to slip my tongue into her mouth. I wasn't shoving it down her throat or anything remotely close to that. Only using the tip of my tongue, I brushed against hers in the slow but sensual rhythm of our kisses. Every kiss lasted several seconds, our lips savoring the feeling and taste of the other one. She was the one to grab the back of my neck first, putting more urgency into it.
A low moan escaped her lips and I reciprocated her passion. Her teeth sunk into my bottom lip, biting on the soft flesh to educe a gasp from me as well. Our tongues meeting more fervently, I felt her fingers starting to unbutton my blouse. She was quicker than I thought in revealing my upper body. Pushing the fabric aside without taking it off, her hands cupped my breasts over the silky bra covering them. I sighed in pleasure and wanted to reciprocate.
However, my girlfriend had other plans. I felt myself being pushed back until we had switched positions. Now I was the one pressed up against the kitchen counter. Camila smiled seductively which made my heart skip a beat. I was quick to pull her close and keep up our kissing. The younger one used her hand to roam all over my body, massaging my waist and breasts before wandering further down.
I was so focused on her intoxicating kisses that it took me a second to notice her hands pulling up my skirt. Apparently she had already unzipped it on the side. She broke the kiss and looked down, her brown eyes watching her hand slip into my panties. I had never seen something sexier in my life than that expression on her face. Her lips swollen and panting heavily while the dark orbs fixated on her fingers striking up a slow pace to pleasure me.
It was impossible not to react and I moaned quietly. The brown-eyed looked up as a response. She went in for another kiss that resembled the first ones: deep and sensual - just like her hand moving teasingly slow. In doing that she created a gradual build-up which had me on the edge. The moment her fingers reached the sweet spot, she pulled away making me grunt in pure frustration.
Withdrawing her hand, she used it to take my panties off completely. Suddenly I felt her grabbing the back of my thighs to push me up the counter. Startled, I did what she wanted and sat on the kitchen counter with wide eyes. Her mouth latched on to mine immediately before kissing a trail down my neck and upper body. She used her warm hands to stroke up and down my bare thighs, her short fingernails barely scratching the skin.
I expected her fingers to wander to my core but was surprised once more as it wasn't her hand down there. A pair of heated lips kissed my inner thigh. One painfully slow kiss at a time, she closed in on the throbbing area between my legs. Continuously caressing my skin with her palms, I tried to prepare myself for what was to come. All the preparation in the world didn't help though.
The first swipe of her tongue against the most intimate part of my body and I threw my head back in sheer lust. Cursing under my breath, Camila kept going in a steady pace that drove me insane. Clenching my fist on the counter, I dared letting my eyes drop to look at her. Her eyes were closed and the brown hair prohibited me from seeing much. Gently threading the dark hair, she opened her eyes to meet my gaze for a moment. The second she did, her tongue applied more pressure and moaned desperately.
Her eyes closed again and so did mine. The tension in my body was building quickly due to the athlete's skilled movements. Her nails dug deeper into my skin while her lips created suction around the sensitive bundle of nerves. My own panting was beyond my control at this point. Without any hesitation, the brunette suddenly dipped down and pushed her tongue inside me.
"Fuck!" I exclaimed in ecstasy and felt her mercilessly sliding in and out of the tingling heat. She knew I wouldn't be able to endure much of it and slowed down for a few seconds. Catching my breath, she placed some gentle kisses on my thigh before returning to the center.
Picking up where she had left off, the muscles in stomach began to contract, my legs started quivering and it was harder to breathe. Her tongue moved slowly now, invading the dampness each time with such indulgence it was almost painful. A few more deep thrusts and I felt the waves of lust crushing me. My entire body shook, goosebumps spreading all over my skin while I attempted to fill my lungs with enough air.
Slowly recovering from my high, Camila left a trail of very soft kisses upwards until she reached my lips. Pressing her own lips tenderly against mine, she allowed me to calm down as I reciprocated lightly. I opened my eyes and met the hazelnut orbs full of affection.
My hand was a little shaky but I reached for her waistband and tried unbuttoning her jeans. She stopped me by putting her hands on mine, gently interlacing our fingers. Giving her a confused look, I was unsure why she didn't want me to return the favor. Instead of a verbal answer, the younger one smiled contently and kissed me again. Her hands held my face with such tenderness that I folded my arms around her neck to keep her close. Exchanging more sweet kisses, I decided not to ask but simply do what she wanted.
The most important part was the fact that we had resolved our fight. The make up-sex was an added bonus, I thought to myself and smiled against her lips.
-
Another Friday night - which meant another night at the club.
A group of mine and Keana's co-workers had gone out together a few times by now. We were all on the same page when it came to having fun. I worked a lot, so I didn't see a problem with releasing some of the stress on the weekend. After all, this was the reason this particular group of people came together.
Keana and her friend had dragged me on the dancefloor and I lost track of time. It wasn't until the next round of shots was ordered that we stopped. My mind was a little hazy by now but I felt amazing. Nothing bothered me. There was no stress whatsoever as the hard liquor eased my inhabitation levels. Most of the others had opted for fruity cocktails but I preferred flavored vodka with ice.
Drinking a big gulp, Keana sat down next to me and was absolutely wasted. I was definitely drunk but not to that extend. She eyed my drink suspiciously.
"How can you drink that?" my friend slurred. "That's like drinking gasoline."
"Hardly," I laughed. "There is some flavor to it actually. This is Red Berry."
"I want to try," she grabbed the drink from me and took a sip before grimacing. "Ugh, that's horrible."
"It's not that bad," I pouted and reclaimed my glass.
"You must have no taste buds when you can down that without flinching," the light-brunette said while shaking her head.
"You have bad taste, that's the difference," I chuckled and drank the rest of the liquid in my glass. "Mmhh delicious," I teased and met her gaze.
There was a faint smile on her lips but her eyes kept focusing on mine. The brown eyes had a light shimmer to them that was only enhanced by the glassy layer due to the alcohol. I had never consciously contemplated what color they were until now. Were they really brown or hazel? My dazed thoughts were all over the place and I didn't realize that Keana had leaned in.
Suddenly I felt a pair of unfamiliar lips touching mine. It was instinctual to close my eyes and reciprocate for a split-second before I realized what was happening. Instantly pulling away, Keana looked horrified.
"I'm sorry," she gasped in an unreadable tone.
I was in absolute shock because I had never seen this coming. Just a few days ago I had reassured Camila that there was nothing going on between us. And there wasn't when it came to me. But Keana's drunken affection had me worried. She got up and disappeared with one of her friends.
Contemplating my next move, I ordered another drink to soothe my nerves.
-
Camila's POV
Opening my eyes, I wasn't fully awake but noticed something unusual. It was still very dark outside but something had rudely woken me up from my sleep. I couldn't tell what it was until I heard loud knocking and my doorbell ringing. Sitting up, I looked at my clock in bewilderment. It was in the middle of the night.
My initial reaction was panic. Perhaps that was my maternal instinct that something had happened to Lara, so I rushed out of my room and to the door. When I opened up, my mind had prepared itself for the police or something of that nature, but not the brunette woman with green eyes standing in front of me.
"Lauren?" my voice cracked inadvertently. "Are you ok? Did something happen?"
""I have to talk to you," her response was immediate.
"Now? It's four in the morning," I was still trying to catch up with what was going on but she walked past me and inside my apartment. Then I noticed. The strong smell of alcohol overwhelmed me. Her walking was shaky but I followed her into the living room.
"It's important," Lauren slurred and turned around to face me.
"You're wasted," my voice conveyed a mix of emotions that I couldn't distinguish myself.
"I'm...a little tipsy," the dark-haired beauty tried downplaying her inebriated state.
Not knowing what her motives for coming here were, I was hoping this wasn't caused by a tragic event like the other time she had gone off the rails. Therefore I kept quiet until I understood the severity of the situation.
"What happened?" I asked.
"You have to promise not to be mad at me," the architect had trouble forming words and spoke slowly.
"It's a little late for that," I couldn't hide my dislike of what was happening.
"Why?" Lauren was beyond comprehension it seemed.
Sighing deeply, I took a closer look at her and it broke my heart. The green eyes that usually carried so much affection and tenderness were blank. There was only a glazed over expression preventing me from connecting to her. I felt my own eyes filling with tears, realizing this wasn't going to go away. The issues she had dealt with in the past were still very much the present. I was torn how to react.
"You can't just show up here in the middle of the night," I finally responded in an unsteady voice. "Lara is with Austin tonight but what if she wasn't? I can't...have you around when you're like this, Lauren."
"I'm sorry," her raspy voice choked out. "But I'm not that drunk, babe. I promise."
Shaking my head, I looked at the floor and felt the first tear running down my cheek. Lauren approached me, almost falling over before I supported her weight by holding on to her waist. Locking eyes up close, my heart took the biggest dive after her last words. She didn't see it. Of course she couldn't see it now but I wondered if she realized how her drinking affected her life. I loved her to a degree that it killed me to see her like this.
"You're breaking my heart," I whispered honestly as the next warm droplets fell from my eyes.
"I don't mean to," she replied quietly.
"I know," my voice was close to cracking again. "That's the worst part about it."
"I fucked up," she gasped while I took a deep breath to regain my composure.
"What happened tonight?" I wanted to find out what had caused this unexpected visit. Understanding how intoxicated she really was, there was no point in having this conversation with her. Nothing would resonate in that state. So I wiped the tears and attempted focusing on what she had come here for.
"Keana and I kissed."
If my heart wasn't breaking yet, it sure was now.
"What?" I breathed in shock.
"It wasn't anything," Lauren urged in a frantic voice. "She kissed me and...I was surprised and...nothing happened," I listened to her scattered ranting. "I pulled back when I realized what happened, Camila. I'm...sorry...so sorry."
"You kissed her back?" my lips trembled and all I felt was an ache in my chest making it painful to breathe.
"Yeah...no...I don't know," she said desperately. "I don't really remember."
"And you don't think that's a problem?" I blurted out in anger. "How many times are you going to go out and not remember what happened before you realize what's going on?!"
"Nothing's going on between us, I swear!" Lauren pleaded close to tears as well.
"She's your best friend!" my voice shook. "You spend more time with her than with me and I didn't mind because I trusted you. But you can't tell me you kissed your best friend and it meant nothing."
"I don't....please you have to believe me," her response didn't convince me whatsoever. "Camila, please," she nearly begged by now and cupped my face in her hands.
"I love you," Lauren whispered.
Instantly looking up to meet her eyes, I couldn't stop my emotions from boiling over. This was the worst heartbreak yet. I released a quiet sob that I couldn't suppress.
"This is when you decide to tell me?" my voice was trembling uncontrollably. "I've been waiting for you to say these words for weeks," I confessed sorrowfully. "But not like this. Not when you won't remember tomorrow. Not after you tell me you kissed someone else. Not when I can't look into your eyes and see the person that I want to reciprocate those words to."
Lauren's hand fell from my face. For the first time tonight I could detect emotion in the emerald orbs. It was a blend of defeat, pain and hopelessness. That look alone added to the ache in my heart. She didn't say anything but kept her eyes glued to the floor. Moments passed with both of us crying silently.
All of a sudden, she walked off and into the bathroom. It took me a bit to realize what happened. She was getting sick and no matter how upset I was with her, I couldn't let her go through this alone. With all the alcohol in her system, I wasn't surprised to find the former athlete regurgitating the excessive amount of liquor she had probably ingested.
I knelt down beside her, put her hair in a ponytail and a wet cloth on her neck. Gently rubbing her back, it wasn't a conscious decision but I couldn't let someone that I loved suffer. For the moment I wanted her to feel better physically. I knew that her body would be even more weakened after this. The more important part, the mental and emotional side that needed healing wasn't something I could address now. It would have to wait until she was lucid.
So I stayed with her until her sickness had passed and let her sleep it off. Lauren seemed exhausted and had almost passed out several times in the bathroom. She had fallen asleep an hour ago but I couldn't bring myself to leave her in the guest room. I was watching her, my head spinning and heart aching as I went over the recent events in my mind.
Tonight had been a wake-up call – literally and figuratively. I wanted to give her the solution, the cure to whatever made her drink herself into oblivion. But I couldn't. You can't give someone peace of mind when they're at war with themselves. I had suspected Lauren to not having healed completely. Yet I had been partly blinded by love to the extent of her pain. She was good at covering it up. And I was convinced she probably didn't even realize how much she was suffering herself.
I didn't want to go to sleep because I was dreading the conversation we would have to have in the morning.
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A/N: And voila, here is the angst haha I hope it wasn't too bad though. This was a long time coming, I feel. Like I said, I had some free time and enjoyed writing in the past few days. However, with the holidays coming up, I won't be able to update for a while because I'll be very busy. The frequent updates lately are hopefully some consolation.
I didn't have time to proofread so I'm sorry for the mistakes.
Feedback is appreciated. Thank you for all the support and have a lovely weekend - Jazmin