"Is He enough for me..." I mumble as I drag the paintbrush across the canvas, painting the oceans wild waves. The combined colors of the electric blue and light green give the water in front of me the intensity I am trying to capture in a few brush strokes.
I am sitting just in front of the most perfect view in this beach house that's settled in a quiet place on the busy beach. Dad came across the small, isolated home when taking a walk on the shore with mom. I guess since it was so tucked away, no one really payed much attention. But my family has always loved the peace and quiet.
We rented the house for the entire summer. The weather here is more than hot compared to England's cool winds. I am sat here on a small wooden bench I found perched just outside on the front porch. I grabbed my paint supplies; my paint brushes, my acrylics, my watercolors and a mason jar full of water. Mom and Emma had surprised me with a large easel and huge canvases to prop up on it. I had immediately requested to be taken out to the beach house to paint the waves.
My view was incredible! I had previously toured the house with my two sisters when I found the stairs leading up to the attic. The three of us went on up, Emma, in case of mice, lingering behind Alexis' small frame, but when I opened the door my breath caught and so did theirs. One wall of the tight attic was made completely out of windows. The wooden planks under our feet creaked and groaned when we finally stepped into the room and when Alexis went to run her fingers across the window, her tips came away covered in dust.
I convinced my two siblings, who had nothing better to do, might I had, to help me clean the entire attic. They agreed once I bribed them with food and we spent the entire day cleaning. Emma gave up first to no one's surprise, so me and Alexis quickly finished up the rest of our work which consisted of me mopping the floors and her cleaning the windows. Once we were finished, we pushed the large, and now clean, leather couch back to the center of the room and headed off to eat McDonald's.
I payed.
And now here I am and I can't seem to shake Ann's words from my mind.
"That is why, Naomi. We shouldn't really be surprised. This is your fight, remember? You won't always be accepted but that's not the point. The point is that we're accepted by God. Is that enough for you?"
The answer to that question is simple; yes. He is enough for me. But that's not why I can't seem to stop the words from playing in my head repeatedly. My entire life I tried to be accepted. I tried to fit in and I tried to be I sync with the crowd. Whether that was at school, my first job, or even with the rest of my family. I never wanted to feel like the "different one" as Emma has put it in the past. And I still don't. Going back to school, a new school, is going to make me the outsider again. And while I sat in my room in England worrying over being the new kid, I never really considered the thought of Jesus being enough for me throughout this process of trying to fit in. I've told Alexis to stop worrying, but I didn't take my own advice.
So that's why I'm here. It's been about two weeks since Ann and I have had that talk and I have finally made the decision to stop thinking on my own and let God help me.
"Lord," I breathe out. I dip my brush into the blue paint and continue capturing the curve of the waves. "You are enough for me. So instead of me trying to take control of the situation, to try and fit in, I give it over to you. I place this shift in my life into your hands because you are enough." I take my eyes off the swirling blues in front of me and smile up at the sky; at Him. "And I trust that you will help me. Just please, remind me to stop worrying. No matter what I face, you are enough for me and I will always put you first. I love you, Jesus."
And with that I place a soft kiss to my palm and blow it towards the sky.
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"Hey! Naomi!" I turn around quickly to the sound of my name as I finish locking the front door. I've finished my painting of the beach waves and I left the canvas out to dry. I've been painting for half my day and I didn't think starting a new one would be the best idea. My butt hurt from sitting too long and I was extremely in need of a burger.
I jog off the steps to see who called my name. From this wind, I could barely hear anything.
Once I walk around the giant palm trees that hide most of the house away from the busy beach, I see Matt walking over with his blue flip flops in hand.
"Matt!" I grin and run to meet him halfway, giving him a quick hug. "What're you doing here?"
"Hey." He smiles, a little out of breath. "Some guys and I from Youth have been playing volleyball for a little while and your mom told me you were at your beach house." He explains, nodding towards the house behind me.
"You? Playing volleyball?" I can't help the giggles that leave my mouth at the thought of Matt trying to play a sport.
"Excuse you." He glares and crosses his arms over his bare chest. But even I see the amusement behind his blue eyes.
"Come on, Matt. We both know if you got a ball served at your face you would squeal louder than me." I can't keep the grin off my lips as his eyes widen. Matt and I have been spending a lot of time together and I know, just as everyone else does as well, that he is not into sports.
"Yeah." He huffs as I try to contain my laughter. "I hate sports."
I hook my arm through his and we start walking down the shore, back towards the guys that I can see from here.
"So what are you really doing here?" I smile up at him to see that his dimples are already prominent as he stares down at me.
I feel the slight blush rising on my cheeks as I realize my arm is still around his so I quickly let go.
"Well," He looks out towards the sunset. "I came to watch the Lord put the sun to sleep."
"Are you sure they didn't force you to tag along and play a sport again?" I raise an eyebrow. Matt has told me about the time Mark, his twin brother, practically dragged him to play soccer all day. It rained, and Matt slipped at least once every five minutes.
"No," He let's out a deep chuckle. "I actually agreed to come this time."
He see's my eyes widen in surprise and before I know it, I'm being pulled down on to the sand to sit next to his tall frame.
"I came for the sunset." He smiles as he leans back on the palm of his hands. I watch his blue eyes take in the hues of orange and red in front of us and I realize how handsome he really is.
Matt and I have been hanging out pretty much every day for the past two weeks, ever since our 'meeting' in Starbucks. We usually met up in a small coffee shop he insists is "way better than the expensive stuff." And surprisingly, he was right. So every night, except on Fridays since he held Youth group, we would meet up in the small cafe tucked away just in the corner of the huge mall, and talked.
I've learned that he not only has an obsession with technology, but he adores books. And anyone that knows me, knows that books are my everything. We literally spent a week discussing our favorite authors and series' and before we knew it, we exchanged books and kept in touch on skype all night.
We've grown close to each other and I could definitely call Matt one of my closest friends here in LA. I got along quite well with the rest of the kids from church, but I only saw them there. And April and Sadie, we've also been inseparable since working on our flyers for the festival.
But sitting here and really looking at the boy next to me, I see what Ann keeps rambling on about. I told Matt about Ann and we took a selfie, that I had to ask for because Ann insisted that I take one for her. Well, more like verbally forced me to take a picture of the "Mysterious Matt", as she liked to call him. When I sent her the picture she flipped out. She kept saying how "hot" and "cute" he was. And while I admit, he was cute, I never really looked at him as anything more. But the more time we spent together and the closer we got, I realized that yeah, he is attractive.
He looks over at me from the corner of his eye and I quickly pretend to be completely intrigued by the bracelets on my wrist. I realize his small smirk on his lips though, and I flush a deeper shade of pink.
"So," He clears his throat and I look out on to the water. "Have you decided what type of leader you'd like to be?"
"Yeah!" I get excited again because I haven't told Matt the great news yet. I was saving that for tonight while I had my hot coco and he had his Cappuccino. "I've spoken to pastor Samson..." I grin at him and pause, just for the dramatic effect.
"And?!" He urges and turns his body towards me, laughing at my hands drumming on my leg.
"I got both!" I exclaim and he hollers a "Wahoo!"
We both lean against each other in laughter as the boys playing volleyball look over at us, causing Mark to get hit in the stomach.
"Sorry!" I call out through my fit of giggles. I wipe at my eyes to dry them and Matt wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug.
"I'm so happy for you." He chuckles, his laugh turning faint as he squeezes me.
I hug him back, feeling a wide smile spread across my face at how excited he was for me. I knew he'd be.
"Thank you." I say.
I noticed that we were hugging for longer than usual, and as Mark looked over at us from lying on the sand I hesitate and pull away from our embrace. When I look up at him, he cheeks seem flushed. But that could be the colors of the sunset on his cheeks.
We continue our walk over to the boys and they all congratulate me on joining the Youth group and officially being a leader once I tell them the exciting news.
Pastor Samson gave me both positions since I was so ecstatic about teaching the teens and spreading the word of God. He told me since spreading the word only happened a few months, I could handle both jobs easily and Sadie and Ariel could help me each month, since we worked so well together on the flyers for the festival.
"So," Mark walks over as he rubs his stomach. I purse my lips, trying my hardest not to smile at his red stomach. I look over at Matt with wide eyes but he doesn't meet my gaze.
"When do you start?" Mark asks. I look up at him again and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, a nervous habit I picked up when I was younger.
"After the festival." I say softly. I don't know what made me so nervous about Matt's twin brother. Maybe it was because he was the main leader of Youth group, who runs every activity and watches over every group session. He was in charge and honestly, a bit intimidating. It might be because I haven't really had a conversation with him yet, or because his eyes are so hard. I had no idea, but he was definitely Matt's fraternal twin.
"Cool." He clips. I nod and turn towards Nathaniel, another guy from youth group who teaches alongside Matt.
"Are you nervous?" He smiles and switches the volleyball from hand to hand.
"A little." I admit with a nervous laugh, not helping one bit with my confidence.
"Don't worry, you'll do great." It's Matt. He places his hand on my shoulder, squeezes gently and I smile up at the blue eyed boy.
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"Hey pumpkin!" Emma hugs me tight as I get into the passenger seat of our rental car. I finished my shopping and called Emma to pick me up since she was out and about with April's older sister, Jane. Who Emma has grown really close to.
"Hey." I smile as I buckle my seat belt.
"So!" She starts as she pulls out of the parking lot. "Do you want to grab some dinner? I'm starving and I haven't eaten anything except frosted flakes and an apple."
I crinkle my nose "An apple?"
"Just because you hate them doesn't mean the whole world hates them." She shakes her head laughing.
"Yeah, but still. Blah."
She raises a perfectly arched eyebrow at me but doesn't say anything about my distaste any further.
"How was painting?" She asks instead as she switches lanes and heads towards downtown.
"It was really great! I just finished not too long ago, just before the sun went down and then I met up with Matt." I explain to her.
"Matt, huh?"
I look towards her because I could basically hear the teasing in her voice already. Her smirk was as evident as ever and I roll my eyes. She's just like Ann.
"Yes, Matt. Have you been speaking to Ann, lately? You two give me the same look whenever I mention him."
"What?" Her voice is high pitched. That only means one thing.
"I know that voice. We all know that voice." I cross my arms over my chest.
"What voice?" Her blue eyes are wide now, too.
"Your voice gets super high pitched and your eyeballs look as if they're going to pop out of your head. I know when you're trying to hide something, Em. Spill."
Emma sighs but she doesn't hide the small smile on her red lips. "Yeah, I know about 'Mysterious Matt'. I helped Ann pick out the name."
I feel my mouth fall open. "Why are you guys so coy about this? What are you planning?"
"Well..." She smirks.
I gasp. "You really are planning something?"
"No!" Her eyes wrinkle at the sides as she bites down on her lip to control her laughter. "No, no. I promise we aren't planning anything. It's just fun to tease you, your face gets all pink."
I place my hands on my blushing cheeks. "You two need to stop, he's my friend."
"For now." I hear her mumble, but I decide to ignore the blonde next to me. Matt may be cute, a gentleman and incredibly kind, but I wasn't going to jump into a relationship like Emma and Ann want me to.
They try to get me to date more and to actually have a real boyfriend, but I'm not ready. Emma has dated two guys that she was very serious about, including Anthony. Ann has dated here and there, but I just don't know what to do when it comes to relationships. I'm naturally a shy person and according to Ann, "wouldn't know if someone liked me if they hit me in the face with roses and chocolate."
Which would probably hurt.
I disagree. I don't think I've ever been liked by a boy, unless it's a friend. But to Ann I apparently just "can't take a hint."
So Emma and Ann have been trying to get me to talk to every guy friend I have had, in hopes that they would take me out. They have failed to do so, obviously.
"So, where are we eating?" I ask my sister as we reach the busy downtown of LA.
"Well I was thinking of pizza, sound good?" She glances over at me.
"Yep!" I say, popping the p. Once we find a place to park, we both hop out of the large car that I'm somewhat getting used to, and Emma throws a sweater at me.
"You're in a tank top, you'll freeze if they have air conditioning."
"Um, okay." I shrug on the black knit sweater that ends just at the middle of my thighs and follow Ann into the restaurant. We follow the waitress close to the back of the room and as we get closer I notice two things.
One, Matt was here.
Two, so was everyone else from Youth group.
I give my sister a quizzical look but she just ignores me as she slides into the booth and sits next to April's older sister, Jane. Which left me with no other choice then to sit next to Matt.
It wasn't too big of a deal. We hung out a bunch and we were close to each other as friends are, but Emma's smirk was the one thing that really bothered me.
"Hey stranger." Matt smiles as I sit next to him. The waitress hands me a menu and I thank her politely before turning to Matt.
"Stranger? We spoke this afternoon." I laugh.
Matt and I spoke for a while at the beach with a few of his friends until I decided to walk down the street and check out some clothing stores for our dinner on Sunday. It had been postponed twice now because of how busy my parents have been with the whole moving to a different country situation. Which the pastor was totally fine with, but this Sunday was the night we had dinner and I successfully purchased a blue dress and a pair of black flats that I desperately needed. My black boots were too hot in this weather.
He shrugs at me and pick up my menu, scanning over the desserts on the back,"It just sounds right."
"Sounds right?" I gape at him. "I'm a stranger to you?"
I can't hide the evident disappointment in my voice and he notices because his eyes meet mine. I thought I knew him pretty well.
"Well, let's see." He places the plastic menu down on the burgundy table. "Do you know my favorite color?"
"Um. No?" He's never told me.
"Your's is white." He smiles.
"How'd you know?" I sit there fiddling with my fingers, clearly confused over how he knows the little detail.
"You told me when we were reading a blurb to a book and white was mentioned. You said it was your favorite color randomly and I just," He shrugs and smiles a sheepish smile. "Remembered."
"Well your favorite cereal is Captain Crunch!" I say suddenly, remembering when he ate the cereal during Skype and rambled about how it was better than any other cereal.
He smiles widely and nods,"Your favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla-"
"When we stopped by the icecream truck." I finish for him.
He doesn't say anything, he just smiles at me with that smile where his teeth show and his eyes squint together. I find myself looking back at him, not being able to look away from his light blue eyes and I wonder if Emma's and Ann's plan is as bad as it seems.
"Are you ready to order?" The waitress from before asks as she returns to our table.
I quickly look away from Matt and nod at the girl without looking at the menu. "Can I get a pepperoni slice please?"
"And now I know what pizza you like." He whispers next to me. I look over just as he bites into his pepperoni pizza as well, and I can't help but smile.
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Soooo... I'm kind of obsessed with Matt. Just kind of :$ anyway! I hope you enjoyed this sweet chapter. So far, it's my favorite in the entire book!
By the way, I know you guys want an upload schedule but I haven't come up with one yet ._. So I'm sorry!
Anyway, questions.
What do you think of Matt?
Maomi or Natt?
What's your favorite ice cream flavor? (I can't pick, I love every single one.)
Don't forget to leave a 'comment' and a 'vote'!
They mean a lot :*
Loves ya! God bless (: <3