Monica's P.O.V.
A few days later, Ashton asks me to hang out at his place before training, so I carefully bike the path to his house. Some of these roads still haven't been fixed up yet and although this route is familiar, it looks so different from all the damage. I even almost missed a turn because a building on the corner that I usually watch for is gone, or at least in pieces on the ground. It's actually pretty scary being outside when this is your view.
I finally reach his house and he's already waiting for me, letting me in with no problem. I immediately head to his room which, honestly, feels like a safe haven for me. The way he has it decorated just makes me feel comfortable and I wish I could have it. No lie.
Sitting on his bed, I glance up at him standing in the doorway. "Why are you just standing there?" I ask.
"I don't know," Ashton replies, shaking his head. "I guess I was just waiting to do this!" He lounges forward and tackles me on the bed, causing me to squeal and fall backward with him on top of me. Scrambling off, he moves to the side and pushes me up into his body so we're cuddling in our usual position (my head on his chest and his arm around me). That was a smart way of getting into cuddle stance.
"Or maybe I was planning on this," he continues, stroking my arm with his thumb.
"You're smooth," I comment.
"Nah, I just like to consider myself experienced," he responds.
I snort, remembering the Hailey situation. "Yeah, look where that got you."
"Hey, I learned a lot about being a boyfriend then. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't know what to do in this relationship."
"Oh, really? Tell me more," I say sarcastically and move my head to look at him in the eyes.
"You'd kill me if I did," Ashton mumbles.
Rolling my eyes, I try and change the subject, playing with his fingers from his other hand. "Anyways, Calum's birthday is in two days."
"Really?" he questions.
"Yup. I haven't heard anything about a party yet, though. I'm hoping he has one because we're finally friends and I'd like to celebrate it this year," I explain.
"What do you mean you're 'finally friends'?" he asks. "Weren't you always friends with those guys? I mean, that's what I understood when I met all of you."
Taking in a deep breath, I inform, "Well, I've always known Calum and Luke because of Michael, but we were mostly just...acquaintances. I guess that would be the right word. Um, but yeah, we didn't really become 'friends' until I started coming to the band rehearsals. Michael always asked me to come, but I never did and I'm still not sure why, but after I came to your first one, we all just started bonding. It's surprising how different people are when you're not seeing them in the classroom."
"Yeah, that is definitely true," Ashton agrees.
"So yeah..." I trail off, not sure what else to add.
We lay there in silence, listening to each other's breathing and lightly caressing each other's skin. I close my eyes and relax into him, smelling a mixture of laundry detergent and his body wash. Surprisingly, those two scents go really well together and why is it always the cute ones that smell so good? Damn, Ashton, keep using whatever you're using.
A wave of guilt washes over me and my mind suddenly thinks of Michael. Half of me feels wrong for being here with Ashton while the other half is in Heaven. I try and focus on the heavenly part but the popcorn/tickling incident that happened on Sunday hasn't left my brain. Why is Michael making me feel this way? I've never thought about him like this before and I don't know what it is, but I'm happy with Ashton and I'm trying to keep it that way.
"Okay, Monica, we have to talk," Ashton speaks, taking me out of my thoughts.
"Uh oh, that doesn't sound good," I reply. I switch my position to get a look at him, although I don't know if that's a good idea.
"I know it doesn't and you're not gonna like it," he states. He unlatches himself from me and sits up, causing me to get up as well. Ashton leans against his headboard with his legs bent and I swing my own legs across the edge of the bed, eyeing him. "I know you were thinking about him."
"What? Who?" I inquire. For a second, I feel like hiding the fact that my mind was on Michael, but now I'm curious because I'm not sure if he really knows who.
"Michael. You were thinking about him, weren't you?" he asks.
I hesitate before answering, "So? I'm with him pretty much every single day. It's not shocking that I would be thinking about him." Nice, Monica. Play it cool.
Ashton inhales a deep breath. "Okay, hold on. Forget I said that for a moment. Let me just say the dreaded words no one ever wants to hear: I think we should break up."
"What?" His words hit me like I slammed into a brick wall.
"Don't hurt me or leave or anything. Just hear me out and let me explain everything," he quickly says. "You're a really nice girl, Monica. I've had the time of my life being with you and you've even saved me. But—"
"But," I repeat, gazing at the floor.
"...that's not enough. We barely know each other. We only knew each other for about two weeks before we made it official and trust me, I wanted to do that. Don't think I would ever take that back. But overall, I've only known you for a little over a month and I don't even know the simplest things about you! Like your favorite color, your favorite movie—"
"Purple," I interrupt with a half smile.
"Okay, now you tell me," Ashton grins. "But here's the thing. I really like you, Monica, but...and I know this might sting, but I'm not in love with you. I haven't gotten the chance to really get to know you to the point where I am deeply in love with you. Do you get what I'm saying?"
"Yeah," I nod.
"We could continue dating because I know that's how people get to know each other, but...there's someone else," he continues.
"Hailey?" I joke with a straight face.
"Oh, God, no! I would never go back to her," he strongly states. I laugh.
"I'm totally kidding. You did the right thing leaving her."
"Oh, yeah, definitely. I couldn't stand that bitch," Ashton responds. He sighs and I know the next words coming out of his mouth. "That person is Michael."
I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this, but I know he's right. I'm not angry or sad, though, so I guess that's a good thing. I'm just trying to figure this all out.
"Monica, you and Michael have a huge history. You literally know everything about each other! You spend so much time together that it seems like you're already a couple. Your families are so close to each other too and if you're not at your house, you're most likely at his. Every time I see you two together, you're always laughing and having fun. And I know this next one isn't a super logical reason, but you're both Galaxies and I feel like that's a special connection," he explains.
"We're best friends. That's how best friends are," I point out but at the same time, these are good observations for something more than friends.
"I know, but, " he takes a deep breath, "ever since Michael told you the truth at New Years, I've been seeing a change in you. I, um, kinda overheard you two in the kitchen on Sunday before we started the movie. I didn't even know you were ticklish!"
I giggle a bit but then I remember what else happened and although Ashton doesn't know how I felt, it does seem a little sketchy.
"And the whole mission thing. Right after he popped out of the crack and you hugged him, you were both looking at each other so...intently. It honestly looked like you were about to kiss! And you're with him so often, who knows what else happens." He leans back and lets out a sigh. "I don't know if I'm being too paranoid or what but Monica, I think you're in love with Michael."
Silence falls over us as I take in his words. I knew it. I knew I was feeling something but I tried to hide it because of Ashton. I don't want to hurt Ashton's feelings but sometimes, you can't help who you love. And I know I'm definitely in love with Michael. Not just like, not just love. In love, meaning the part of you that desires the person romantically. Everything makes sense.
Softly, I ask, "If I admit it, what happens now?" I finally get the courage to make eye contact with him and I'm surprised that he doesn't look too upset.
"I think you already know that. Like I said before, I think we should break up. Look at us. We're trying to force a relationship when there's nothing to base it off from. We both don't have strong enough feelings for the other and that's okay. I'm not putting the blame on you for being in love with Michael because I really haven't felt much either between us. We tried something and it didn't work out. Something could happen to us in the future, but only time will tell."
"So you're not hurt by this?" I question.
"Not really. Yeah, it's a bit disappointing but things happen for a reason. I obviously want to stay friends with you and I know everybody says that after a breakup, but this time, I don't think you can avoid me with all of this band stuff going on," Ashton smiles.
"Good," I laugh.
"Now this brings me to my last point. This is what I want you to do. Once we're done here, I want you to go straight to Michael and tell him. Tell him everything we discussed if you'd like, but just let him know the most important thing. I'm pretty sure it's going to turn into a relationship really fast but if you're happy, then I'm happy. It might take me a little while to get used to it, but again, we tried something and it didn't work. Don't let me stand in the way."
"So you really want me to be with Michael?" I ask.
Ashton nods and continues, "It's the right thing to do. You know it, I know it, and Michael will know it once you explain everything to him."
One more question pops into my brain. "But wouldn't it be weird for me to suddenly have another boyfriend within, like, a day of breaking up with the other one?"
"Well, maybe, but if you really think about it, our relationship hasn't been as strong lately. If anyone judges you for it, they can go to hell because they don't understand this situation," Ashton advises.
I'm not sure what to do next since there's nothing else I want to say. I hesitate on getting up and Ashton notices, moving forward and climbing out of his bed. He stands right in front of me and takes my hands.
"It's okay, Monica. This is for the best," he voices while grinning and pulls me up into a hug. We embrace each other for a good few seconds, taking in each other's presence one last time before he releases me. "Michael's waiting. Go."
"Thank you," I whisper, returning the smile. He steps out of my way and I grab my bag from the floor, sliding it around myself. Ashton leads me through the house and outside to where my bike is resting. Mounting it, I look back at him one more time before racing down the driveway and speeding home.
I'm shocked that Ashton was the one to figure it out. I'm also very surprised that he ended our relationship and told me to go to Michael, since normally (as I've experienced) the guy would try his best to keep the girl, but he said that he wasn't feeling it either and I'm not sure whether to be heartbroken or relieved over that. Okay, so maybe I'm more relieved because of my own feelings but I'm slightly disappointed that my time with Ashton is over. I don't know. I'm still trying to figure it out, but the strongest feelings have now been revealed and that's what I need to take care of.
Zooming down the street, I see Michael's house come into view and I begin to get a little nervous. I have a plan of what to do and I'm kind of scared to do it, but at the same time I think it'll be really cute. I just hope it works.
I hop off of my bike and lean it against the side of the house. I make sure I look good (even though Michael honestly doesn't care) and then enter inside to see his dad watching TV and his mum folding laundry in the living room.
"Hi, Monica!" Mr. Clifford welcomes, looking up from the TV.
"Hi," I reply with a smile and a wave.
"Oh, hello, dear. Michael's upstairs," Mrs. Clifford informs.
"Thanks," I respond. Walking over to the stairs, I take a deep breath before heading up and as soon as I reach the top, the butterflies in my stomach are more than crazy. They're itching to be released so they're going to fly around as much as possible. Lovely.
I can hear a few guitar chords as I stand there and I smile at the beautiful sound, but it's suddenly replaced by an odd chord and a small grunt. I try not to laugh at Michael's frustration and shuffle the last few steps to his room, appearing in his door frame. I finally see him sitting cross legged on his bed with his guitar in his lap, a music book open in front of him. He stops playing and notices me. Alright Monica, it's go time.
"Hey," Michael greets. I grin at him and walk inside, putting my plan into action.
The first thing I do is grab the music book and lay it on his desk. Turning around, I go back and take the guitar out of his hands, setting it on the stand in the corner. There's nothing else in my way, so I pad over to his bed and he's looking at me with the most confused expression. Nearing him, I wrap my hands around his neck and stare at him for just a moment before leaning and connecting our lips. He's startled for a second before giving in and I feel him kiss back, as well as putting his hands on my waist to try and bring me closer. I linger before pulling away and relax on his bed, watching his face. His eyes are wide and he's frozen in his spot. Oh shit, I shocked him too much.
"W-wha...how...wh-ah..." Michael stutters, slowly looking at me.
I sigh and start, "Ashton and I broke up, like literally about twenty minutes ago. He noticed I had feelings for you and we made the mutual decision to split. Deep down, I knew I wasn't into the relationship anymore and it wasn't because of him. It was because of you. After you admitted you were in love with me at New Years, everything changed for me and I started falling for you."
"Wait, how does that work when you have—had—Ashton?" he asks.
"Turns out we tried to force a relationship. We both like each other, but we hardly know anything about each other to really understand what being in love feels like. He mentioned that we could keep dating to get to that point, but I wasn't fully into it because of you," I explain.
"I'm still confused," Michael comments.
"Okay, you know how I tend to overthink things a lot?" I question and he nods. "Well, after everything went down at New Years, I started overthinking that and thought about you romantically, which is something I've never done before. I began feeling more towards you and I tried to forget it because I had Ashton, but Ashton saw me struggle and finally told me what to do. And trust me, this is real because right now being here with you, I'm really feeling it. Michael, I really am in love with you."
He smiles and exhales a shaky breath. "I thought I'd never hear that from you."
"Well, I just said it and I mean it," I reply.
"Hold on. What's going to happen with Ashton?" he interrogates.
"It might be a little hard, but we're going to stay friends. I'm gonna see him every time you guys have band practice, so I can't avoid him. Plus, we both tried a relationship and it didn't work, meaning we both weren't in love with each other to make it last. What I'm trying to say is that it wasn't that hard on him because he wasn't super into me," I inform.
"Wow," he responds. "I would have never guessed."
"Michael! Monica! Training starts in fifteen minutes! Hurry up or you're going to be late!" Mrs. Clifford yells from the first floor.
"Okay!" Michael shouts back. Glancing at me, he says, "So what happens now?"
I give him a look that hopefully tells him what to do, although I don't think it's working. In order for us to become official, something has to happen, and I'm trying to get him to realize that.
"Oh. Oh!" he exclaims. He scans his eyes around the room and I don't think he's sure of what he's looking for, but he stands up and grabs his wand. He turns his back to me and says a spell, and when he flips around, he's holding a bouquet of roses. I smile and bite my lip to keep myself from crying because this is too cute, especially when I've never seen him try so hard to be romantic.
He kneels on the ground in front of me and asks the one question he's always wanted to ask. "Will you be my girlfriend?"
I nod and a tear slips out, but I don't care. I take the roses and set them on the bed while he stands, and then I approach him and seal it with, of course, a kiss. Shocks run through my body and I have never been so happy to kiss someone before. I've never felt this way with Ashton and I'm kind of surprised by that, but again, I wasn't in love with him. And now that I'm positive on who I'm in love with, I have no doubts about this relationship. No hurricane can ever keep us apart, not even one as strong as the Acerbus Procella. We've been through so much together that our connection is tougher than that and those experiences are what make us perfect for each other. My mind, my soul, and my heart are finally content with my decisions and I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out.
Fate has a way of making sure everything turns out okay and I hope it serves you well just like it did for me.
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I can't believe this story is over. What once started out as a really cool idea is now officially written out in a book and I'm very happy with the way this has turned out!
Sequel is called "Starless Galaxy" and has now started, so if you don't want this to end yet, there's another journey to follow!
Rachel :)