"Shelby believed that love was like a solar eclipse - breathtakingly beautiful, absorbing and capable of rendering you blind. She had not necessarily gone out of her way to avoid a relationship, but she hadn't wanted one either. It was called falling in love for a reason - because inevitably, you crashed at the bottom,"
~Jodi Picoult
Michael was still crying and at this point Luke had joined in, but the later was laughing as well. He was laughing at the absurdity of it all. There they were in a car at the side of the road, both sobbing uncontrollably and confessing their love for each other. The broken, suicidal boy and the happy, optimistic boy. Two opposites.
Michael thought of the sun and the moon. Two lovers separated by time and space, but yet they never gave up. They chased each other for all of eternity and every so often the finally caught up and shared a moment together, and in that moment every person and creature on earth would stop for a moment just to watch. Just to observe the pure beauty of their love. And that was all they held onto. Just that one moment spaced so far apart, but for the sun and the moon. That one moment was enough. And for Michael and Luke. Any moment together was a moment to be cherished.
Michael was scared of love. Not because he was afraid it would not be returned, though that did terrify him. But because he knew he would end up hurt. And he knew that whoever had the misfortune to love him would end up hurt as well.
After they confessed their love there was no big kiss like in the movies. There was no happy ever after. There was silence. A warm comfortable silence. Michael was straddling Luke with his head on Luke's chest and Luke's arms were around Michael with his chin resting on the smaller boys head. They did not move, because in that moment the words spoken were all that was necessary. And the love they had for the other was radiating off of each of them. There was no denying what either boy had said. There was no contradicting the words that had been exchanged.
Michael loved Luke. Luke loved Michael.
And right then and right there, that was all that mattered.
It was Michael and Luke against the world right there in that old car. Michael was fighting a losing battle but Luke was right there and he kept picking up the broken pieces of Michael and putting him back together again. It was Luke and Michael and Luke knew he could never give up. Luke knew that no matter what happened he had to keep going for Michael. He knew that in the end things would work themselves out. In the end they would be okay.
"Mikey?"
Michael hummed softly in response.
"I really want to kiss you," Luke's lips ghosted some of the exposed skin on Michael's neck.
Michael lifted his head and his lips met Luke's before they began moving with each other in an odd dance of lips. The kiss was not lustful, but rather full of love. It was slow and sweet and Michael thought it was perfect. Then again he thought everything Luke did was perfect.
Michael's legs were on either side of Luke and his hands in Luke's hair. Tugging and bringing the blonde closer. Luke's hands were on Michael's back fisting his sweater and drawing small shapes all the while pressing the smaller boy impossibly closer.
They were two bodies intertwined as one. They were one. Michael would live for Luke and Luke would die for Michael. If it meant one sacrifice to save the other they would have both been gone a long time ago.
Luke was truly desperate to show Michael how much he loved him. He needed Michael to know he was loved. He needed it desperately because he knew. He knew Michael was struggling. He knew when Michael relapsed he could see it in the boy's movement's. But as long as Michael fought through it Luke was proud of him. He just wished there was something he could do. Anything he could do.
Ashton and Calum still remained painfully oblivious, but Luke had a sick feeling that it wouldn't stay that way for too long. Unfortunately Michael had the same feeling and even worse is neither of them understood how soon it would be. Neither of them knew the coming driver was drunker than Michael's father. They were in a state of bliss, completely unaware of what was going on. Their lips were still locked when the front of the truck hit the back of Luke's car.
Michael never got a chance to open his eyes before his head hit the front window and he was unconscious. But Luke witnessed a few chaotic minutes. He could hear screams faintly over the ringing in his ears. He could feel warm blood seeping down the side of his face. And all he could see was Michael's pale body, draped like a ragdoll with his eyes shut and his skin painted in a mix of the two boy's blood. Luke realized some of the screams were his own and cut off with a sob.
He saw someone running closer in his peripheral vision before his head lolled forward and his vision was clouded with darkness.
Tragic wasn't the right word. There was no word to describe what was unfolding.
Firemen had just cut open the car door and the paramedics were rushing forwards to tend to the boys inside. It was fast and there were people in the way but Liz's heart broke when she saw the tangled hands being pulled apart as her son's unconscious body was taken away from Michael's nearly lifeless one.
She should have been screaming. Calling out Luke's name, calling out Michael's. But Liz couldn't do anything but pull out her phone and call Ashton.
The curly haired boy picked up to her relief and she tried to get the words out only strangled noises escaping her tight throat.
"Liz!" Ashton yelled through the phone.
"Memorial. Memorial hospital. Bring Calum. Oh God, hurry Ashton," she gasped. The tears were soon to follow and Ashton was suddenly a statue on the other end simply muttering words that should have brought comfort.
When he hung up he met Calum's eye and he couldn't say anything.
"Ashton, what did Liz need?" Calum asked cautiously.
"I, I don't really know. She said to go to Memorial Hospital, to bring you. What if Luke, or Mikey..." Ashton couldn't finish his sentence but Calum knew where he was going.
What if they were dead.
So Calum stood and the two boys climbed into the car. If they had turned on the radio they would have heard, but instead they drove in silence and altogether skipped the road the accident was on.
The ambulance reached the hospital long before the two shocked and confused boys and they rushed Michael into surgery for something they wouldn't tell Liz. Luke was taken into a room on the same floor as Michael's surgery room and the doctors had concluded that he would be okay after he woke up. Just a few bumps and bruises as far as they could tell. Of course once he was conscious they would be able to run tests.
They wouldn't let Liz in to see him so she busied herself in the lobby of the hospital waiting for Ashton and Calum.
Doctors worked steadily over Michael. His heart monitor was beeping evenly and they were moving with caution and precision. Each motion had a purpose. This boy's life was in their hands. Quite literally.
Michael's head was another story.
It was if he was conscious though he knew he wasn't. His thoughts were just as present as ever and he was consumed in them. He was reliving the accident over and over when it hit him. Luke. Where was Luke. Michael knew he was out cold. He knew it. He wasn't sure how. It could be that he knew since everything was clearer, but in the same sense it was more clouded than ever.
He was trapped inside his head. Nearly literally. It was as if his mind were a dark room. Black floors and walls and nothing else. There was hundreds, millions of voices shouting at him telling him to give up and he was just the small figure cowered in the corner. But there was one voice. Smaller and weaker than the rest, but a voice that demanded to be heard due to its obvious difference from the others and Michael clung to it.
Stay. Stay for Luke. It whispered. Luke. Stay for Luke.
And Michael held tight to Luke's voice. It was enough for this time.
After stitching him back up. The nurses dressed him and examined any other injuries, but only one thing stuck out. He was littered in scars and fresher cuts. And it was evident to the doctors and nurses that these were not from any accident. There were faint outlines of words and the word HOPE across his stomach still rather fresh as if it were from a few days ago. They exchanged words of their own and one stepped out to contact the boy's parents.
They weren't having any of it.
"If he's in the hospital let him die," his dad had grumbled to the receptionist.
He didn't have an emergency contact listed so the nurses headed to the waiting room.
"Is there anyone here for a Michael Clifford?" one of the nurses asked hopefully.
Liz shot up quickly followed by Ashton and Calum.
"You are..?" the nurse asked.
"Liz Hemmings,"
Another nurse whispered in the first ones ear before leading the others off leaving Liz staring down the nurse.
"Hemmings? We have a Luke Hemmings-"
"My son's unconscious right now. How's Michael?" Liz snapped.
"Michael's stable. The surgery was successful. It's something else that we needed to inquire about,"
Liz raised an eyebrow and the nurse eyed Ashton and Calum warily.
"They might as well be his brothers," Liz commented sharply.
"Were you aware that Michael self-harmed?"
Liz closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose before nodding. "Yes I was. He's been getting better though,"
"Some of these cuts are very recent Mrs. Hemmings,"
"There's this thing called relapse," Liz snapped.
Ashton and Calum were stone behind Liz. They hadn't known. How could they have known? Michael hid it so well.
"How long has Michael been cutting?"
"He said since he was ten so eight, eight years," Liz sniffled and wiped at her eyes. "Look, Michael's emotional state has nothing to do with the situation at hand. He's getting better and that's what matters. Now can we please just-" Liz cut herself off. She was emotionally drained. She started over carefully "My son and his boyfriend are both unconscious after some drunk driver hit them. I would appreciate if you stopped asking me about Michael. He's doing the best he can,"
The nurse nodded and she smiled kindly at Liz. "Of course. I would like to know if Michael has, um, family we should contact other than his parents. They didn't seem quite so, um-"
"Not that I know of,"
"Emergency contact? He doesn't have one,"
"Just put me. God knows he doesn't have anyone else," Liz muttered.
The nurse smiled, "I'll let you know when you can see either of them,"
Liz offered a tired smile and nearly ran into the two frozen boys behind her.
"Mikey..?" Calum croaked. Both his and Ashton's eyes zeroed in on Liz as she nodded sadly.
"But that's his story to tell," she guided them to the rows of chairs and they sat silently beside each other and waited.
Luke woke up alone.
He was confused and disoriented. He remembered Telling Michael he loved him. He remembers Michael saying it back - he feels all warm and fuzzy at this - and he definitely remembers them kissing. But then there's a loud crash and Michael's lifeless body is brought to the front of his mind. And it can't be true. If Michael's dead, oh God if Michael's dead.
Luke's on the verge of planning his own suicide when a woman walks in and smiles.
"It's nice to see you awake," she comments.
It's evident that she reads the terror in Luke's eyes as she continues speaking gently.
"Your mum and your friends are just outside. I'll go call them in yeah?"
"Michael, where's Michael?" Luke asks.
"Michael's okay, Luke. He's alive,"
The nurse must know she's said the right thing when the terror washes off Luke's face and she smiles before leaving to get Liz and the other two boys.
"Luke!" Liz exclaims bursting into the room. "Oh baby I was so worried!" there are tears on her cheeks so Luke opens his arms and him mum rushes into them.
"I'm fine mum. No drunk driver's taking me out of this place," he murmurs.
Liz nods and releases her son wiping her eyes and smiling widely. "Oh Luke," she says quietly.
Neither Ashton or Calum make any movements. Ashton's staring blankly at his shoes and Calum's running over every sign he missed in his head.
"They found out. About Michael. A nurse asked about his scars and cuts," Liz said quietly.
"He's trying," Luke found himself saying. "He's trying to get better,"
Ashton's eyes shifted to Luke and he nodded finally coming to terms with the situation and smiling at his younger friend. "I'm glad you're okay, Luke. I was terrified," Ashton laughed lightly and the sound was what broke Calum's haze.
"I should have seen," the tan boy stressed.
"You couldn't have seen, Cal. Not unless he wanted you to. Michael was too good at hiding it you know?" Luke leaned forwards slightly.
Calum nodded. "Okay. It's really good that you're okay too. I'm just, just a little shocked I guess,"
"'S'alright Cal,"
And then they were waiting again. Waiting for news on Michael waiting for Michael to wake up. But Luke didn't mind waiting like the others did. He would wait a million years if it meant seeing Michael okay. Michael was all he thought about as they waited. The others tried to make small talk but he couldn't be bothered. They tried asking him about Michael, but Luke told them to ask Michael. So they fell into a seemingly endless silence and waited. Seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned to hours, but Luke was fine with waiting because Michael was going to be okay.
Perhaps if circumstances were different and they didn't know Michael was going to be fine, he wouldn't be so keen to wait, but for now it was alright. He could wait for Michael. He could wait. He had plenty of time anyways.