I ran my ass off.
As quickly as I could, I headed to the covered court, ignoring the uneasy feeling of not belonging in this part of the school. Sure, I've been here before - just not in this time of day.
I hurried my steps when I caught sight of the double doors. I pushed inside, hoping so bad that Halo was still here. I texted her earlier that I got detention, and that we could still meet up afterwards. But an empty gym met me.
I scanned the place. Maybe she was still around here somewhere.
"You're too late."
I turned my head to the direction of the voice, scowling when I saw who it belonged to. Finn stood up, jumped off the bleachers, and walked toward me.
"They already left," he said casually.
I raised an eyebrow. "'They'?"
"Halo," he shrugged. Then, he looked at me. "And Scout."
My body tensed. Finn noticed, because the shithead sneered.
"Scout gave her some pointers to pass gym class. Wish you could've seen them. There was a lot of touching," the fucker continued, clearly enjoying this. "Guess her 'boyfriend' was too busy getting dirty with his ex to do it himself. Seriously, I felt bad for her."
Rage surged within me, but I reigned it in. I wasn't gonna give this cocksucker a reason to get me in trouble.
"Do you ever shut up on your planet?" I wondered mockingly, but with an underlying threat in my tone. I hoped he wasn't stupid enough not to notice it.
"What, caught between two lovers?" taunted this dipshit, grinning. "Didn't know you could be that cliché."
I was so fucking close to cleaning the floor with his motherfucking face.
He had no idea what the hell he was going off about. I knew he was only trying to get a rise outta me. But hell, if his words didn't piss me the fuck off.
"Hold on," I said, raising a finger as I looked up. "I'm looking for fucks to give."
But what I was really looking for was a good reason not to bust his face in. Coming up real short on this one, though.
He nodded understandingly.
"I get it. You're with Halo now. You don't wanna face the fact that no matter what you do, you still can't get over Snow despite everything." He paced around, before shrugging and turning to me with a sad face. "Poor Halo. Everybody knows it's hard to forget your first."
I laughed humorlessly, the cold sound echoing around the gym.
"Can I be the first to break your nose, then?" I asked, suddenly all pokerfaced.
"That's funny."
"It's not funny at all," I replied, still keeping a straight face. "But your life," I paused to snort, "now that's a joke."
His lip tightened. Looked like I hit a nerve.
"Always one with the comebacks, huh?"
I shrugged. "Should I keep going 'til you cry or are we done here?"
Something flashed in his eyes. They turned dull, as if almost . . . dead. I knew that look so well. I knew that underneath those expressionless eyes were hatred. I knew because I wore them sometimes, too.
"How does it feel?" he asked, staring intently at me.
I looked back at him, waiting for him to continue. Then, I blinked in realization.
"Oh, sorry. Are you hurting me with telepathy or something?"
The dickface took a deep shaky breath, obviously trying to control his rising anger. I seriously needed to come up with a nickname for him. I was running out of colorful nouns.
"I meant being beaten by Scout," he cleared up, "yet again."
What the fuck is he trying to say now?
"He didn't beat me in anything," I snorted.
"He got your girl," he smirked. "It's funny how they always end up choosing him. But no, that's not the real problem." He paused to shake his head. "The truth is, you're torn."
My jaw clenched. But I quickly composed myself.
"Can you stop acting like my shrink? It's getting fucking annoying."
He smiled crookedly. "Gotta make up your mind. Or you'll lose them both."
This sorry ass fucker was the last person on the planet I was opening up myself to. Heh. Maybe it was time to turn the spotlight on him.
I whistled. "Man, I'm surprised you're so damn chill about this." I shrugged sheepishly. "After all, you've had a thing for Snow since forever."
His smile faded, making the corner of my lips turn up.
"You had to watch her be with me day after day, for months." I shook my head in fake sympathy. "That must've been pure torture."
"You have no idea," he hissed, through gritted teeth. His good guy facade thrown out the window. Gotta say, looking like a villain didn't suit him.
"How does it feel though, being stuck on the sidelines?" I leered, cocking my head. "I would've felt pretty fucking useless if I were you, even incompetent. But it all goes down to one word." I stepped closer, and added harshly, "Pathetic."
He stayed quiet. I smirked.
"Sucks being invisible, huh?"
With one last look, I stepped away and turned for the exit.
I didn't let it show, but the dick got into my head. Now I couldn't stop thinking about my past and my present. I knew I shouldn't be thinking about it. I didn't fucking want to.
I stopped walking and held on to the lockers on the side of the hall. With a free hand, I rubbed my face. I took a deep breath in hopes of clearing my head. It was all just so goddamn overwhelming, making me wanna barf from the nausea.
With all that's happening, this is the last thing I need to think about.
Get a fucking grip, Oz.
Raising my head, I straightened up. I decided that nothing else mattered but what was happening right now. And right now, I had a girlfriend I needed to find.
I headed to the music room on the other side of the school. I figured that would be the place Halo would be at. When I got there and slightly opened the door, I immediately heard her singing. I didn't wanna interrupt her. So I lowered my hand and leaned my back on the wall, staying outside to listen in.
"I'll close my eyes, then I won't see . . ."
She sounded sad.
"The love you don't feel when you're holding me . . ."
It was fucking heartbreaking.
"Morning will come, and I'll do what's right . . ."
My chest felt heavy all of a sudden.
"Just give me till then, to give up this fight . . ."
I frowned, hearing her voice crack at that last word.
"'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't . . ."
I closed my eyes, and leaned my head back against the wall.
"You can't make your heart feel something it won't . . ."
Why the hell did it feel like the song was speaking to me? Damn. It was as if the pain in my chest doubled, shattering to pieces all over again. But this time, I couldn't block it. Like, I wanted to share her pain or something.
I let out a deep breath. That sounded so messed up.
After a minute or so, I realized it got quiet. I took that as a cue to enter the room. But I halted when I heard someone clapping inside.
"That was amazing."
She had company. And from the Disney Prince voice, I'd bet my ass it was Scout.
That didn't sit well with me. Not one fucking bit.
"Your voice . . ."
Rendered you speechless?
"Yeah, no shit," I snorted under my breath.
"It's astonishing," he finally said. "Enchanting, even."
What, he's fucking Shakespeare now? How dashing.
"Thanks," replied Halo, in that shy voice of hers.
With a blank face, I returned to my former position against the wall. Something in her voice stopped me from going inside and interrupting their conversation.
"Did you mean that?" asked carrothead.
"What?"
"The song."
Halo didn't answer.
"It's for Oz, right?" guessed Scout.
I looked down, waiting for her reply.
"Actually, I was singing in behalf of Nico di Angelo - for Percy Jackson," chuckled Halo awkwardly. She was such a bad liar sometimes."But it can work for Oz, too."
My jaw clenched, but my face gave nothing away.
"Okay," laughed Scout lightly. "I have no idea who those are."
Of course, you don't. Only awesome people are demigods.
Then again, he must be from the strict Camp Jupiter. No doubt he'd get along with his fellow self-righteous pricks.
I heard Halo gasp.
"How could you not know them and live?" she asked in disbelief. I could imagine her shaking her head. She huffed, adding, "Mortals."
"Uh, let's see," chuckled Captain Douchnugget. "I breathe the air, drink clean water, eat healthy food - you know, usual mortal necessities in daily life."
Halo laughed, a genuine one this time. It annoyed me that I wasn't the one making her laugh like that. I wanted to burst inside and drag her far away from Scout. But I just couldn't bring myself to walk in. Fucking feet stuck on the floor.
"There's more to life than just surviving," said Halo softly.
"Okay, what else is there?"
"Love?"
"Ah, the 'L' word."
"Have you ever been in love?"
"Nope," he sighed. "After seeing it break someone firsthand, I'm not really that eager to try it. I could only imagine that kind of pain, you know? I don't think I can handle it if ever it happened to me." There was a pause. "Can you?"
I raised my head, looking up at the ceiling.
"If it happens, it happens."
When Scout spoke again, he sounded way more concerned than he should be.
"Halo, you'll only end up being heartbroken."
"No, you don't know that," she said quietly.
"Then, what was that song about?" the sucker pointed out. "You know deep inside you that Oz still has feelings for Snow."
My fists tightened, my knuckles turning white.
"You're already starting to break, Halo," he added, making me almost promise myself that I'd knock him out the next time I see him. Almost, because I knew his words were true.
I practically heard every crack through her singing. It was because of me. How could I deserve her? Maybe that was it. Maybe I didn't.
I shook my head, taking a breath.
"I'm willing to risk my heart," she stated.
Why?
"Why?" begged Scout. "What's with the blind faith?"
"You don't understand," she murmured.
"Make me."
Halo sniffed. And I didn't give a shit anymore. I immediately made a move to go in, but her next words stopped me on the doorway with a hand on the knob.
"I'm in love with him."
. . .
She's in love with me.
I still couldn't wrap my head around it.
It wasn't that I didn't expect it to happen. It was possible, since we were dating and all. I just didn't expect it to happen so soon. And honestly? I couldn't understand what someone like her saw in me. I mean, what?
Sure, I wanted her. Sometimes, I even felt like I needed her. But I just couldn't imagine it being the other way around.
But the thing that ticked me the most was, she told Scout fucking Crimson before she told me. What did that say, that she trusted him more than she did me?
Fuck. I needed a distraction.
I was tired of goddamn thinking.
I tried to clear my head as I entered the football field. I walked pass Connie sitting on a bench beside Parker, who was still in his football uniform. Practice was over, though. The dude could at least take a damn shower. He probably stank.
They've been seeing each other more than the usual since the beach party last month. We could say something about it, but all of us noticed that Connie was a helluva less bitchier since they started going out. So none of us was really fully against it.
I kinda felt bad for Frisco. But hey, love sucked sometimes.
Ironic, isn't it? The most pleasurable thing you can experience in life is also the worst. Life fucks with us that way.
"Hey, man," greeted Kurt, when I got to the metal bleachers on the other side of the field where they were at. "You missed practice."
"We heard you were in detention," added Frisco, with a knowing look.
Of course, they heard about me getting in trouble with Snow.
I nodded, sitting beside Frisco.
"Don't wanna talk about it."
That was the least of my problems.
"You would not believe what I just saw!" exclaimed Alfie, running to us.
"Is it gonna make me puke?" asked Frisco uneasily. I caught him glance at Connie and Parker for the briefest moment.
Alfie considered it. "Maybe. It made me sick - with disgust."
"We're all ears," said Kurt, saluting the football in his hand.
With a wicked grin, Alfie said, "Someone from the sissy team is taking gym candy."
That caught my attention.
I leaned forward, placing my elbows on my knees. Kurt whistled, while Frisco's eyes widened. Alfie nodded at us, sneering.
Honestly, I wasn't that surprised that one of them was on steroids. They were a sneaky bunch of shits that preferred taking the easy way. Performance enhancers. Huh, what a rip. For people like us who loved and respected sports, abusing that drug was a major sin.
I told myself earlier that I wanted to forget my love problem bullshit. Well, this was the fucking perfect distraction. Nothing like good old blackmailing to do the trick.
"Who?" I asked my best friend.
He raised his chin up, the corner of his lips turned up.
"Finn McKinley."
_____________
Sad? Me, too.
I was going for sad and intense in this chapter but I'm not sure if I pulled that off. Haha