{Jonathan}
I stroll over the spongy grass, feeling my feet sink slightly as I take each step.
I hold a bouquet of flowers of all different colors, in my left hand.
I know this place too well; I've been here countless times before.
I smile, looking around at all the familiar gravestones that I pass in order to get to the one I will forever love.
It's Wednesday, August 10, at about 11:00 in the morning.
I'm seeing Ally, today.
When I woke up this morning, something told me that I needed to come see her.
Something told me that I needed to be with her, here.
I don't know if it's all the excitement with the wedding that is coming up in just over a week, or if it was because of my breakup with Natalie.. I really don't know.
I just needed to be here, this morning.
And so here I am. At the cemetery that she was buried in.
All my life, I have always loved mornings.
I like being up early. I feel like there's something so beautiful about each morning being the beginning of a new day.
A new day, in which all things are possible.
Right now, the sun is shining, and the breeze is warm and pleasant.
There are hardly any clouds in the sky, and the crispness and sweetness of this morning made me feel the need to come here.
Sometimes, this place is the place where all my thoughts turn to cloudy memories, and other times, it's where I feel the most peaceful.
Sometimes, it's the place where I feel the most content with everything in the world, despite all that has happened in mine.
I continue through the familiar landscape of the cemetery, passing gravestones each with their own stories that they tell all on their own.
This cemetery is quite large, but I never have trouble finding the place where I need to be, whenever I'm here.
It's almost as if it calls me; I don't even have to look for it.
It's Ally's gravestone, of course.
Her voice and her beauty takes my feet to where I need to go, whenever I come here.
After a few minutes, I arrive at the familiar gravestone in front of me.
The well-polished, grey gravestone sits upon the grass, with a few words elegantly engraved into it.
"Ally Summers: beloved friend, daughter, athlete, teammate, and girlfriend. February 4, 1990-December 20, 2014."
I smile, shaking my head as I look down at my feet.
Ally Summers: forever the name on my lips.
I smile, seeing that a bouquet of red roses already sits in front of the gravestone, obviously left there by someone who misses her too.
It wasn't me who left those roses.
It could be anyone, really; Chaunette, Patrick, Abigail.... or none of us.
None of us... but someone.
And I'm alright with not knowing who it was.
Something about seeing the roses there, reminds me that I'm not the only one who misses her.
I sigh, setting down my bouquet of flowers right in front of her gravestone.
My bouquet contains multiple different types of flowers, of all different colors.
Ally never really was one for organization and planning; she more believed in randomness and how even the most unexpected things can be beautiful.
And for this reason, the flowers I have brought today are of all different colors, and are arranged in no particular pattern.
Random and beautiful; just as Ally was.
Despite all the chaos and excitement that has been happening over the past couple weeks with Patrick and Abigail's wedding coming up quickly, right now, I forget about all of it.
When I'm here, I'm here alone with Ally.
And all of my other thoughts seem to just be put aside, when I'm here.
I kneel down, putting my hand on her cool gravestone, smiling down at the ground.
"Hey Ally." I say, running my hand along her gravestone.
I smile, shaking my head.
It's really quite odd.
I used to have only hatred for this place, and I never really wanted to visit her here, because it just reminded me of how gone she really was.
But now, it's one of my favorite places to be.
Now, it reminds me that she's really not gone at all.
It's one of the only places my thoughts usually come together, and one of the only places where I feel Ally's presence so vividly, that it makes me believe she's still with me.
"A lot of excitement has been happening down here," I say, smiling at the ground, still kneeling down.
I run my hand along the engraving of her name on the gravestone.
"But no one has forgotten you, Ally." I say, nodding and sniffling.
A warm tear rolls down my cheek, and I wipe it away quickly.
"Patrick and Abigail are getting married, Ally," I say, smiling.
"Can you believe that? Patrick is getting married!" I say, shaking my head and smiling.
"Pretty crazy, right?" I say, sniffling and wiping another tear away quickly.
"Honestly, it's because of you, Ally. A couple years ago, you were the one who got Patrick and Abigail back together after their breakup." I say, smiling.
And in this moment, I swear to God I can hear her laugh.
So vivid, and so beautiful.
It's just as I remember it... nothing has changed about its beautiful ring.
I smile, squeezing my eyes shut and allowing a teardrop to roll down my cheek.
"I wish you were here to see it, love." I say, sighing.
"But I am here, Jonny." I hear her beautiful voice whisper, moving through my body like a tidal wave moves through the vast ocean.
"I know, Ally. I know." I say, shaking my head and smiling.
And for a few minutes after that, I remain silent.
I remain silent, and enjoy the feeling of her vivid presence at my side.
"Things are good down here. Things are busy, but things are good," I say, nodding.
"Everyone always talks about how Natalie looks so much like you," I laugh, sniffling and smiling all at the same time.
"And she does. She really, really does. She reminds me a lot of you, actually. But she's not you, Ally. She's not you." I finish, swallowing hard.
Right now, I feel Ally's presence so vividly that I swear she's standing right behind me, with her comforting, warm hand placed on my shoulder as I kneel down at her grave.
"I miss you," I say, shaking my head.
My lower lip trembles, and I can no longer keep my tears behind my eyes.
"More than ever." I admit, biting my lip, another tear rolling down my cheek, blurring my vision.
I suddenly feel the familiarity and vividness of her comforting hand, moving up from my shoulder and up to my head, where she runs her hands repeatedly through my hair.
"I wish you had stayed." I say, shaking my head.
I can suddenly feel her smile upon me, and I can see in my mind, the sight of a few tears rolling down her cheeks.
"With all the excitement going on with the wedding, it just really makes me wish you were here." I say, swallowing.
"I love you always, baby girl. I'll never forget you as long as I live. Christ Ally, you're the love of my life, and that won't ever change." I say, sniffling as I shake my head.
I smile, wiping a tear from my eye.
I run my hand across her gravestone again, smiling as I stand up.
I sigh, biting my lip and smiling up at the sky.
I know she's watching me, as I can feel the brilliance of her gaze upon me.
I bring my right hand up to my lips, kiss a few of my fingers, and then place them on her gravestone.
"I'll see you next time, Ally. I love you." I say, swallowing hard.
And then it happens.
It happens just as it always has every time I leave her grave.
Ally suddenly appears behind her gravestone smiling and waving at me.
She simply stands there with her beautiful smile, waving goodbye to me until next time I come back here.
Her dark hair is down, and her green eyes are just as bright and beautiful as always, shining brighter than all the stars in the sky.
Her smile is vivid, and her facial features are brilliant and beautiful, just as they always have been.
She isn't saying anything, but she's standing there, smiling and waving at me.
I smile back, waving.
"I love you." I say, quietly.
And although she doesn't say anything back, she smiles and waves at me.
And just seeing her there is enough.
Christ, is it ever enough.