warning: this chapter needs to be rewritten. I'll work on it and as soon as I repost it, I'll let you know.
17.
●•Harry•●
Kirsten. That was her name. Kirsten… It seemed to fit her nickname – Kirs as I heard Angel say a few times – but for some reason it didn’t fit her. She didn’t look like Kirsten. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful name, and she’s a beautiful girl, but still, I couldn’t picture someone like her with that name. Why did it even matter?
I shook my head while walking towards Mike, who stared at me with that confused look on his face.
“Where the hell were you? When I came back to the car you were no longer there,” he said, and I rolled my eyes at his words.
“You were taking too long and I needed some fresh air.”
“You scared the hell out of me, Haz. I thought someone had kidnapped you or something.” Mark sighed in relief and shook his head, looking at me with apprehensive eyes, still not believing I was standing in front of him. “What were you doing in the back of the club?” he now had that ridiculous grin playing on his lips, and I knew pretty much well what was going on inside his head.
“Sitting on a bench, Mark. Alone.” I had to lie to him, not wanting to say I was with Kirsten and feed his dirty thoughts. That guy had mental issues, I was pretty sure of that.
“Yeah, yeah. I know.”
We remained in silence during the walk back to the car, and also the whole way to Davie’s place. My head wasn’t aching that much anymore, thanks to the pills Kirsten had given me, so I didn’t complain when Mark turned the radio on, keeping the song playing in a bearable volume.
As he hummed the lyrics, I just leaned against the window and let my mind flow to the girl I was sitting next to a few minutes ago. She was definitely different from what she was the other two times we met and Angel wasn’t around. This time she was… Gentle. On her own rude way, but still. She brought me the pills even if I hadn’t asked for it, and she noticed I wasn’t okay. If she noticed I wasn’t okay, was because she was paying attention to me, and not ignoring me like she’d done before. This time she actually lost her time analyzing me. Don’t ask me why – I truly don’t know – but I was satisfied with that. I was satisfied with the fact that she was, indeed, paying attention to me this time.
She even made a joke about my outfit. Coming from her mouth, that was probably a good thing, right? Considering the way how she’d acted towards me before, I concluded that yes; that was a good thing. That was really a step forward to our relationship, if we could call it like that. I’d barely talked to her, and yet I felt like I had this urge to find out more about her. I was just… Truly curious. She dated the biggest asshole in the world – I could already tell that by how he’d hurt her, and also by how he’d gotten into that fight in the club –, she was rude to everyone, kids an exception. With them she was the nicest a person could ever be.
She was probably one of those people who had a huge trauma on their childhood and tried to fix it by making kids’ lives happier; like their own wasn’t. But I was just assuming; there was no way I could know that.
Anyways, her bipolarity – just an easier term for her rapid changes of behavior – was not the only thing that caught my eye, I won’t lie. She was beautiful (and by beautiful I mean, yes, pretty face, nice eyes and lips, and a body blessed by God). How can a guy simply ignore the fact that a beautiful girl was wearing such tight and short clothes? He can’t. Yet, it doesn’t change the fact that I felt kind of embarrassed when she noticed me staring. It wasn’t the purpose, you know, stare too much, but for God’s sake, I couldn’t move my eyes away from her legs. Not because I’m a pervert or anything, but especially ‘cause I noticed a few bruises and small black marks on her skin.
But it was dark, I was feeling dizzy and tired, and maybe I was just seeing too much. Otherwise, she would’ve tried to hide it, wouldn’t she? I mean, most of the girls I know are constantly trying to hide their flaws; a bruise here, a red mark there…
“Hey, you asshole!” Mark yelled and I shook my head, trying to focus on his hands moving in front of my eyes. “Are you even here?”
Closing my eyes, I sighed and whispered:
“Get off.”
“What are you thinking about? It must be really interesting ‘cause you’re totally oblivious to the world.”
“Shut up, Mark. I didn’t even want to leave my apartment to start with. Now if you’re gonna annoy me I’ll drive back there and shut the door at your face again.”
“Wow, calm down mate. I’m just kidding. Get over this; you need to leave the past on the past. Hate it you when you’re all moody.”
I was okay. I was unexpectedly okay like I wasn’t for years. During those few minutes Kirsten had distracted me, I’d forgotten why I was with that terrible migraine first off; but then Mark had to ruin everything again. Of course he had. He loved to criticize me and mention what had happened when I wasn’t willing to hear that. He knew I truly hated to talk about that subject, and yet, he never shut up.
Unfastening the seatbelt, I was fast to get off of the car and walk past him without muttering a single word. I heard as Mark slammed the door and I didn’t even bother to turn around and yell at him for damaging my baby, I was pretty sure he knew how that got to annoy me even more. Soon he started running until he was by my side, resting his hand on my shoulder and trying to make me stop.
“Please, Harry. You know I didn’t mean to annoy you,” his words and regret didn’t make me stop whatsoever. “Hey, hey! I’m trying to help you. Not only me but also everyone else. Don’t you think we hate to see you like this?”
“Leave me alone, Nichols! You know nothing about how I feel. None of you do. You have no idea of how it feels like to go through what I did. All I’m asking you is to leave me alone for one f–cking day in the whole year, and you can’t even do that?”
Mark shut up and stopped walking with me, knowing I was right. His silence told me everything I needed to know, and I was pretty sure he felt embarrassed for dragging me there totally against my will, taking me out of my comfort zone claiming to be helping me when he was only doing that to feel like he was making something good to his friend.
I don’t blame Mark, to be honest, I do believe he’s worried about me, just like my family and my other friends are, but it’s not like I need their help. No matter what they do, it ain’t going to help anyways. I do understand why they act the way they do, always trying to give me advices, but I need this day, this only day, all by myself, to think about everything, to feel sorry for myself, to go back to when things were a hundred per cent fine. I need that to move on and live the rest of my days. It’s not like I’m asking them for much.
Still in silence, I knocked at Davie’s door and waited until he opened it with a huge smile on his lips. That until he saw my expression and changed his own into a worried one.
“You ok?” he asked, staring deep into my eyes.
“I need a beer,” was the only thing I said, already walking in without asking for permission. I knew his parents weren’t at home, ‘cause he’d mentioned it during the whole week, so I just walked to his kitchen and opened the fridge, grabbing the first bottle of beer I saw in front of me.
I could feel Davie staring at me confused and worriedly, looking at Mark and waiting for an answer. I completely ignored the fact that Mark shrugged and followed me, grabbing a beer for himself and taking the empty seat next to me on the sofa.
“Ok, so tonight I planned a FIFA marathon for us. There’re more beers in the fridge and I’ve made a few snacks for the occasion. Now get your fingers ready,” Davie handed me and Mark the remote, already turning on the TV and inserting the game on the X-box.
“No, thanks,” I gave the object in my hands back to him, standing to my feet and turning around. “Where’s your dad’s guitar, Davie?”
“Back porch. But wait, Haz. Ain’t you gonna stay with us? C’mon, there’s nothing like soccer.”
“I’ll pass,” I said, already heading to where Davie had said. “Oh, and by the way, here’s the bracelet you’d forgotten at my place.” Then I threw his bracelet on the coffee table, leaving both of them alone in the living room.
As soon as I closed the glass door that leaded to the back porch, I heard the whispers coming from inside and I knew they were talking about my behavior once again. Though, to be really honest, I couldn’t care less. The right next day everything would be perfectly fine, and they’d have forgotten it all just as usual.
Walking towards the rocking chair, I sat on it while grabbing the guitar that was leaning on the wall and placing it on my lap. As the silence of the night played around me, I played the strings and tuned it until I heard the harmonic sound I wanted to hear. Once it was done, I started fingering them, one by one, playing a song which I couldn’t remember the name, letting my mind flow to wherever it wanted to.
I was so tired I barely paid attention to myself, just allowing me to think of the most random things while I was there, completely alone, enjoying my own company. Mark had obligated me to leave my apartment, but he wouldn’t make me stay with him and Davie while they acted like I was totally fine, when I clearly wasn’t. And if they came to look after me, I’d just shut them off as many times as I had to.
Forgetting about the two childish jerks that were inside, I closed my eyes and kept listening to the sound of my own fingers on the strings, feeling the calm breeze of the evening silently whispering in my ears. And as that happened, I caught myself thinking of her again, for no reason, with no explanation.
I was thinking of the girl whom now I knew the name.
I was thinking of Kirsten.
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●•Author's Note•●
dedication goes to: @CamilaRatier there you go babe, you got your dedication :) Laughed really hard with your last comment, hopefully you liked this chapter as well?
note: Loads of people read my warning about Angel's short story, wow, I didn't expect that. Thanks :D As most of people said 'YES' to my idea I'm gonna start posting it soon.
Anyways, you can check everything about my fanfics on danimgomes.tumblr.com and I hope you like it (thanks for the playlist suggestions, by the way. You can still message me more songs if you have any ideas). Oh, and for people who asked, my fan account on twitter is @Zap1D , and my personal one is @DaniMeloGomes :)
Official shipnames: #Karry for Kirsten & Harry + #Harlett for Harry + Scarlett.
next update: Friday(June 14th, 2013)
Best comment on this one gets a dedication on next. Love you all lots, Dani xx