Chapter 22
Thursday, August 8
It's been four days since I last saw Kelsey. The morning after she found out about Eli and I, she, and most of her stuff, was gone. After that, I had no idea where she was. I knew she was still at the camp; a lot of her stuff was still at the cabin, plus I don't really think she would leave, but she was no where to be found. I had been trying to find her so I could apologize, but how could I do that when she had disappeared from the face of the Earth?
Making it worse was the fact that anytime I went out, everyone was staring at me. I saw a range of emotions on faces that I didn't know the name to, including disappointment, pity, and even some diluted hatred.
And I hated that.
People looking at me was one thing, but people knowing everything that happened was even worse. How people found out- I have no idea. I'm guessing there were a lot of people around when Kelsey ran out, because I know for a fact that Jaxon wouldn't tell out of pure fear alone.
Plus, I hadn't seen Eli in those four days either, but this was on purpose for obvious reasons. It was during these days that I really realized how attached I had became to Eli. I knew this to some extent before, but this was different. I felt like some part of me had been ripped away. I missed everything about him; the way he smelled like a mix of hardware store, mint, and paint, the way his smile lit up his whole face, and my whole world.
I was jumpy without him, like I was having withdrawals from some drug I had become addicted to. And that's a pretty good analogy considering his lips gave you a high stronger than any illegal drug on the market.
I was completely and totally whipped.
But today was the last day of class, so I would have to see Eli. It would be torture having to sit next to him knowing that our worlds were falling apart and I couldn't do so much as touch him.
Probably ever. Not seeing Eli these past few days meant that we hadn't finished our project. I had begun to accept that we weren't going to see each other in college. Not happily.
I rolled off my bed, groaning about how terrible today was going to be. When I was sitting up on my bed, I saw Bianca and Alessa look at me with pity. They knew what had happened-like everyone else in the world- and they had been sort of quiet around me.
I would think maybe Alessa would have something to say, but she didn't. She had been the one to find me after all. I tried to push away the memories of that night, but no matter how hard I tried, it all came flooding back again.
"Lace did you know-" Alessa walked into the cabin, but cut off as soon as she saw me. "What's wrong?" She asked and rushed towards me.
I couldn't even speak, I was crying so hard. I tried to respond but all that came out was, "Me and Eli were... but Kelsey.. and now," before I burst into tears again.
How did things get screwed up so bad? I know it seems like I'm being overly dramatic but this was exactly what I had been trying to avoid all these weeks.
But now it had happened.
"I'm sure it's not that bad," Alessa said as she tried to sooth me, wrapping her arms around me.
"It's that bad!" I yelled. I wasn't angry at her, obviously, I was angry at myself for letting this happen.
Before Alessa could say anything else, the door opened again. I didn't see who walked in, but I knew when I heard Bianca start talking.
"Team Keli and Team Leli? People are- Hey, what happened?"
I froze. Had she really just said what I think she said? "What did you say?" I asked her, pulling away from Alessa and looking at Bianca.
She looked a little weary to repeat it. "Um, it doesn't matter. Now why are you crying."
I narrowed my eyebrows. I needed to know what she had said. "Bianca. Tell me."
She sighed and started rushing out her words. "It's not a big deal, it's just that some people made ship names for you, Eli and Kelsey and are picking sides."
I blinked, utterly confused. How had the entire camp chosen sides about my life? This wasn't some movie, it was real and happening. And of course this is the time I find out about it.
I groaned and tried to stop myself from starting to cry all over again. I hated feeling this way. I felt hopeless and doomed to a life of sadness and despair.
"Did you know about this?" I asked Alessa, my voice cracking.
She didn't look me in the eyes. "I came in here to tell you that. A lot of the camp knows about it. And a lot of them have chosen sides."
I groaned again and sank even lower on the floor, which I didn't even know was possible. This was literally terrible. I put my head in between my legs and before I knew it, I was crying again, like the wimp I was.
"Is there anything we can do?" Alessa asked tentatively.
"Reverse time," I mumbled in between tears. I know I wasn't being helpful, but what I was saying was truthful. The only thing that could fix this was a time machine.
"It'll be fine," Alessa said with what was supposed to be a reassuring smile, as I got up from the bed. It only made me sadder.
We got ready and headed up the hill. The weather matched my mood exactly; stormy. The clouds were looming over us, threatening to release their torrent of rain.
When I walked into the classroom, I took my seat next to Eli, farther away then I'd ever been, even when I thought he was the scum of the earth. Bailey told us that today would be another free day, mostly because it was the last day of class.
Eli said nothing, leaving me lost in my own thoughts.
I needed to apologize to Kelsey immediately. I had really hurt her, and it was extremely important that I at least tried to say sorry before we left camp. I would not be able to live with myself if she left not hearing what I had to say.
And Eli. We were probably done for good, seeing as we couldn't even speak to each other. I glanced up at him. He had a neutral expression on his face, but his eyebrows were a little scrunched together. Suddenly, he turned to me, probably feeling my gaze, and I quickly turned away.
What could I say? Nothing.
From the corner of my eyes I saw a flash of pain on his face, then he turned back around and looked down at his hands.
We were truly broken.
It stayed like this for the duration of class, and finally, Bailey dismissed us for the last time. I stood up and started to walk out the door.
"She's with Missy."
I looked up at Eli's voice. He was standing still, but staring me right in the eyes.
"Thanks. And-" I stopped and swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'll miss you."
By now, everyone was out of the classroom, and Bailey was in the storage closet. Eli stepped closer to me and suddenly hugged me. I inhaled deeply and squeezed him tightly.
God, I was going to start crying again.
Before I could, he pulled away and slowly walked out of the classroom. I stood there, frozen.
"Lace, what are you doing here?"
I turned around to Bailey. "Nothing, I was just going," I muttered and walked out of the room. When I opened the door to leave the school I stopped once again.
Of course it had to be pouring.
I braced myself then ran down the hill, willing myself not to trip and fall. I passed my cabin and continued on to the counsler's cabins. I found Missy's and pounded on the door so that whoever was inside would be able to hear me over the rain and thunder.
I was now soaked. My bun had fallen completely fallen out and my wet hair was sticking to my face. My clothes were like a second skin. Taking them off would be a bitch.
Finally, the door opened, Kelsey standing behind it. She didn't look too good. Her face was splotchy looking; she'd been crying.
As soon as she saw me, her eyes widened and I knew she was about to slam the door on me. As she started to, I pressed my hands against the door and used my foot to block the door from closing.
"Kelsey, please!" I shouted.
"Go away!" She shouted back, pushing on the other side of the door. But I was stronger than her. I pushed myself in and she sighed in defeat and let the door swing open. I shut it behind me, trying to stop anymore water from getting in here.
The cabin was smaller than ours, but it was only housing one person so that was understood. There was a bed with pink blankets on the far left wall, then a makeshift bed made out of blankets on the right wall.
Had I forced Kelsey to sleep on a floor?
Kelsey had her back turned towards me, her arms hugging her. She was wearing a huge sweater that almost fell all the way to her knees and her hair was crazy looking. She looked terrible.
"Kelsey, I'm so sorry," I said finally, frozen on the spot. "I know that I lied to to you, and I did things I said I would never do, like cheating and I just- I don't know how to live with myself knowing that I hurt you. You don't even have to say anything to me, I don't deserve it. I just came here to say that I'm... I'm so sorry." I finished and took a deep breath to tr to steady my breathing. I was about to cry again.
God, why had I screwed everything up? I came to this camp to get a scholarship not to cause all this unnecessary drama.
After what felt like an eternity, Kelsey finally turned around, still hugging herself.
"Why couldn't you just wait a little longer?" She asked, almost whispering.
I blinked, confused. "What?"
She sighed and sat on the sheets on the floor, putting her head in her hands. She sat like that for a while, then finally looked up, but not at me, straight forward.
"Me and Eli weren't gonna last. I knew that as soon as we got here," she said.
"But we weren't-"
"Oh come on, Lace, you cannot be oblivious. You and Eli have major chemistry. Everyone can see it," she said, looking at me now. "And even though I do like Eli, we don't have that. I mean, I tried to hold onto him for awhile but this was bound to happen."
Saying this, Kelsey looked so old. I'd always thought she was a little naive and childish, but right now, she looked like an adult. A tired adult.
I slowly made my way over to her and sat down, thinking about what she said. Yes, Eli and I did have something there, but it was at the wrong time. I probably wouldn't have worked out anyway, with all the fighting we did.
"Kelsey, I don't want to take Eli away from you," I said. "This... this didn't mean anything."
I think I physically cringed because Kelsey literally just looked at me and laughed.
"Are you serious, Lace. Don't lie to yourself about that," she said. "To be honest, I'm not even that mad."
"Why?" I almost shouted. I'd been having a secret relationship with her boyfriend, then lied about it straight to her face. I literally needed to be slapped. This calmness was weird and freaking me out.
She shrugged. "I don't know, I guess..." She trailed off. "I guess somewhere along the way I became more Team Leli than Team Keli."
I stared at her as she gave me this small, ironic smile. She. Was. Crazy. I know that if I had Eli, I would never let him go. Not that I had the choice. And did everyone know about these ship names but me? How long was I left in the dark about this?
"Well then why are you here?" I decided to ask, gesturing around the room.
"I just needed to get away. I mean, I'm still hurt that you lied to me. That both of you lied to me," she explained.
"I really am sorry."
"Lace, I forgive you. Just next time, come clean before it gets out of hand," she said.
I nodded solemnly. I hope there never was a next time. I am not used to conflict and drama, I do not like it.
"You should really come back to the cabin. We all miss you," I said.
She sighed and stood up. "Yeah, I think Missy's getting tired of me."
I stood up with her, smiling a bit.
"You can leave if you want. I think I'm going to take a shower before I back up all my stuff," she said.
"Okay," I said and started to walk out. I was really happy with the way this conversation turned out. It was much easier than I expected. As I opened the door, Kelsey spoke again, her head poking out from the bathroom doorway.
"And Lace, I meant what I said."
"About?"
"I'm all for Team Leli."
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