I remained slouched against the door with my head in my hands until my little sister, Sarah, came prancing into the entry foyer. As usual, she was wearing a sparkly pink tutu overtop of her clothes.
"What's wrong Sissy?"She asked in her cute, innocent little voice.
"Not much. Just boy troubles,"I waved it off a gave her what I hope was a convincing smile.
She seemed to ponder it before reaching her little hand down to me,"I know exactly what'll help!"
"And what would that be?"
"A tea party!"she shouted excitedly before taking my hand and leading me up the stairs to her room.
When I entered the room, I found that she had already set up the tiny table and chairs with her stuffed animals. She quickly cleared some away so that I could have a seat.
"The maid should be up soon with the tea and crumpets,"she said in a fake British accent.
I decided to use my own accent,"Well, isn't that lovely."
"Lovely indeed,"We waited in silence as I continued to sit while Sarah began to get out all of the little cups and saucers and the teapot.
It wasn't long before my mom came walking into the room with a tray of cookies and a bottle of sweet tea.
"I see that you have decided to join my fair lady?"she asked.
"Oh yes. It is quite a pleasure,"I said as she began to fill the pot with tea and place the cookies on the plates.
She nodded and smiled,"Well, have a nice time."And then she was gone and we were alone.
"Now that she's gone,"Sarah whispered,"We can get down to business. What is this boy's name?"
I laughed,"Luke."
"Oh. Crazy ex-boyfriend Luke,"she seemed to nod in understanding,"What has he done this time?"
She is really too serious and mature for her age, I thought.
"Well, he told me that he is going to leave me alone like I want."
"Then isn't that a good thing?"her face scrunched up in confusion.
"That's what I wanted at first, but then I realized that I still love him. And I wanted him to prove himself to me by never giving up and doing anything he can to get me back. But now, there is no chance he will. He is just going to go find a new girl to fall in love with. Maybe this time he won't break her heart,"I was on the verge of tears and Sarah seemed to notice because she handed me a dainty handkerchief.
"Thanks,"I accepted it and dabbed under my eyes, trying to keep my makeup from running.
"Well, I think that he will never stop loving you. I really liked having him around. He'll win you back somehow,"She said in her wise little kid voice.
Just then our mom burst through the door with a smile that soon changed to a frown when she noticed our predicament,"So I guess Sarah isn't going to ballet today?"
"Of course she is!"I said defiantly and picked her up,"And I'm taking her."
My mom nodded at me hesitantly and then told me the address before leaving. I turned to Sarah with a smile, desperate to not let this bonding time end. She was a lot more help than I thought she was going to be and it actually made me feel really good to talk to her.
I walked over to her dresser and found her leotard and ordered her to put it on. Then I went on a hunt for the matching black tutu. I finally found it along with her dancing shoes and helped her put them on. Then I put her long, golden hair up into a tight bun with one of her scrunchies. Now she's ready to go!
We laughed and joked the whole car ride there. It was so much easier to force Luke to the back of my mind now along with all my other worries and fears. Seeing Sarah with so much hope and happiness showed me that I could do the same. I could just let it go.
I watched as Sarah happily joined all of her friends in the many mirrored room. Then they began stretching and all of their other exercises. Soon, they were practicing for the up-and-coming recital. Sarah was going to play a flower. She stood in the background with her knees far apart and bounced up and down. Then when the music became faster and louder, she began to sway while going up and down. It may not sound that hard and important, but with my lack of balance I'm sure I wouldn't be able to do it.
Finally it was over. Sarah bounded towards me with a couple of friends.
"Their parents are taking them to the ice cream shoppe! Can I go?Can I go?!"she asked excitedly.
I eventually gave in and walked with her to the ice cream place just a few stores down from the dance studio. I'm glad I brought my purse with me.
We walked up to the counter and ordered. I got a mint chip in a waffle cone and sarah ordered a vanilla dipped cone. they served us immediately and Sarah went to go join her friends. I was about to join them when the other kids' moms waved me over.
I reluctantly came and sat in the empty seat, plastering a smile on my face.
"So, are you Sarah's older sister?"One asked politely.
I nodded my head,"Yeah. We are kind of having a bonding day."
"Is that so? Why?"One asked, I decided to call that one Ms. Nosy.
"Well, boy trouble. Sarah is surprisingly good as a therapist,"I chuckled as they gave me weird looks.
"That's...interesting,"the other one said, I named her Missy. I know, creative right?
I decided these nicknames weren't going to work forever so I decided to ask,"What are your names?"
"Oh well I'm Sheila,"The nosy one said.
"And I'm Kary,"The other one stated.
I nodded and gave them a smile,"I'm Isabelle."
"Oh, I know! My daughter goes on and on about how fun you are when she comes over to play. She really does enjoy your company!"Kary said. I decided she was my favorite.
"That's awesome! I enjoy her's too!"I said excitedly.
She nodded and looked at me anxiously,"In fact, would you mind babysitting tomorrow night? Ours quit last minute and my husband and I have important reservations."
I thought about it before nodding. I mean, why not? Maybe it will keep my mind off of Luke,"Yeah, sure. Do you want me to come to yours or have her over to mine?"
"We'll let you keep her at your house so she can have tea with Sarah. How's six to eleven sound?"
"Great. See you then,"I shook both of their hands and then headed over to the kids. I hadn't had much time to eat my ice cream, so there was still a lot left. I decided I'd eat it in the car.
I was grateful to see that Sarah had already eaten hers,"Hey, Sarah. Are you about ready to go?"
"No!"she wined.
"What if I told you that Lily is going to come over tomorrow?"
"Okay!"she shouted excitedly before saying bye to her friends.
We quickly headed home and once there, Sarah disappeared off somewhere. Oh well, I think I've done as much talking as I can stand today. I ran up the stairs to my room, where I collapsed on my bed and pulled out my cell phone.
I opened up my messages with Jessica, trying to decided if I should let on to her how much this is hurting me, or lie to her. I came to the conclusion that she would probably see right through my lie, so I decided that I would tell her.
I typed out a quick text asking her to come over so that we could talk and closed my eyes to wait for her reply. I was startled out of my half-consciousness when my cell buzzed in my hand. I hastily read over the text that stated that Jessica was on her way.
I decided I couldn't be just laying here when she arrived so I brushed through my hair and headed down to the kitchen. I grabbed a few sodas and a bag of chips and made my way back up to my room. I'm pretty sure Jessica won't even knock before coming in and coming up to my room.
I placed the sodas in my own personal mini fridge in the corner and sat in my computer chair, spinning around and around until I thought I was going to throw up, and then doing it all over again. That's how my best friend found me, dizzy and still spinning.
She chuckled and grabbed the chair with her hand to bring it to a standstill. I looked at her, and saw more than one Jessica. It was like some horrible nightmare where I was surrounded my her stubbornness and nonstop talking. I thought my head was going to explode when finally the room stopped spinning and all of the Jessicas meshed into one.
She gave me a confused look, so I must have been giving her a pretty weird look. I shrugged it off, and so she headed and plopped herself onto my bed. I grabbed two sodas from the fridge and picked the bag of chips up off my desk.
"So, what did you need to talk to me about?"she finally asked after slurping at her soda for a good minute.
"Luke came by and told me that he was giving up on chasing me today. And, for some crazy screwed up reason, it hurt me. A lot,"I huffed, frustrated at myself for being so weak.
"I hate to say this and as your best friend I probably shouldn't, but I told you so,"she smirked, looking extremely happy with yourself.
"And what did you tell me?"I asked, confused at what she was referring to.
"That you still love him like it was yesterday, duh!"she looked at me like I had gone crazy when in fact, it seemed that she is the one that has gone crazy.
"I know I love him! I'm so fucking stupid! I can't get him out of my head. Whenever I'm with Clark, I can't get over the guilt. Whenever I'm at school all I see is girls throwing themselves at him and he doesn't do anything about it. He even ruined the dance because he was there grinding against some slut! He's ruined everything! It's all his fault!"I screamed, scared of losing control, but it seems it's a little late for that.
I broke down in sobs. Right there in front of my best friend. I should be strong like I've been for the last two years, but I couldn't. It was like I had taken one step forward and when he came to town I took two steps back. I was finally on the road to recovery and forgetting him, and then he pops up right when I'm on the edge. Right on the edge of letting him go forever.
Well, I decided while Jessica took me in her arms and rocked me back and forth, that I actually was going to let him go this time. I was going to live happily ever after with Clark and that was going to be the end of it. He was going to be lost and forgotten.
I finally stopped crying and brought my head away from it's haven near Jessica's neck.
"I'm sorry. I'm such a mess. I just need to get over him and let it go,"I sniffed and looked at the tear stain I had created on her tee,"Sorry for ruining your shirt, too."
"It's fine,"she cooed, obviously still in comforting mode,"I understand. But, you can't fight love. You can't force yourself to let him go. If it doesn't happen naturally, then it will never really happen."
"But I need to let him go. All he does is make me hurt. I see that now more than ever. Now that I have accepted that I love him, it makes me hate him even more. Love is a sick and twisted thing." I frowned, wishing love would just leave me alone.
"No, it is a wonderful, beautiful thing if you accept it and put the past behind you,"she said, trying to convince me.
"Are you really saying that I should dump Clark who is actually good to me so that I can date Luke? Are you serious?"I asked, on the verge of another round of hysterics.
"No,"she held her hands up in surrender, trying to calm me down,"I'm just saying that you should give him another chance. Try to get along and be his friend."
"Whatever,"I muttered, completely not interested.
"Listen you love him, so if you don't get a little dose of Luke everyday then you will go insane, I'm sure. Just do this for me, and if not for me then for yourself?"she pleaded, pouting and giving me her best puppy dog eyes.
"Fine."I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest and standing up.
I walked over to my dresser with a mirror hanging over it. I pulled a face wipe out of the little pouch and began to wipe away all signs that I had been crying. When I was done, I put on some light powder and mascara before turning to Jess.
"I need to do something before I do something weak and crazy again,"I suggested, slipping on some flip flops and looking at her expectantly.
"Okay. I'll drive,"she smiled and put her own shoes on.
We both headed to the car, not sure of where exactly we were planning on going. When we were both settled into the seats of Jessica's cherry red Lexus and the music playing softly in the background, we turned to each other with identical smirks.
"Starbucks,"We said in unison, chuckling when we realized how insinc our minds worked.
She began to drive, pulling out of my driveway and heading in the direction of the best coffee place known to man. I hummed along with the radio, tapping my fingers lightly to the beat.
"Sing,"Jessica ordered when the intro music to one of my favorite country songs began playing.
I gave her a weird look but, when the lyrics began, I sang along with Jamey Johnson.
I said, "Grandpa what's this picture here?
it's all black and white, it ain't real clear.
Is that you here?"
He said," Yeah I was 11.
Times were tough back in '35
That's me and uncle Joe just tryin' to survive
A cotton farm in a great depression
If it looks like we were scared to death
Like a couple of kids just tryin' to save each other
You should've seen it in color
I continued to sing, going to that place I always seemed to go to when I was deep into a song that I loved. A song that told a story. The music fit the picture it drew perfectly. I couldn't feel or hear my surroundings. I blocked everything out and just focused on the song. I finished, and then looked to my side to see Jessica giving me side glances that showed her awe.
"You haven't sang much for us since Luke left. Your mom says that you mostly sing quietly to yourslef in the room or out by the barn. I remember when you and Luke used to put on show for us out by the lake in my yard. We would set up a bon fire close by and plop our asses on the logs we had sat out. We would stay out there all night, or until the neighbors called to complain. Things used to be so much more simple,"she sighed, caught in the memory as she looked at the front windshield.
"I know. I used to have a lot more fun. I used to be a lot more fun,"I sighed, too.
"It's alright. You're still fun, just your experiences have made you more mature. It's a good thing,"then Jessica must have decided that we had had enough heart-to-hearts today so she gave me a smirk and said,"I know what we're doing this weekend."
I gave her a skeptical look and asked,"What?"
"Well, we are going off to college next year so we need to start partying and chilling more before we all seperate and go our own ways. We are having a bonfire slash performance slash party this weekend at my lake. It'll be just like old times. I'm even going to invite Luke so you better become friends this week unless you want it to be completely awkward."
"Fine."I huffed once again.
It was then that we pulled into the Starbucks' parking lot. We both got out and went inside. It wasn't very crowded so our order was taken almost immediately.
We looked at each other and shared a smile,"Two Venti Java Chip Frappuchino, please."
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I hope you liked it! Kid of a sucky ending, I know! Three votes on the last chapter? Really? Ya'll can do better than that! I want atleast 4 votes and a comment before my next upload! That should be easy because this coming week is going to be a busy one for me so I don't know when the next time I'll be able to update will be...
Picture to the side is of Isabella Barrett as Sarah>>>
Song to the side is In Color by Jamey Johnson>>>>