Hey! So I’m updating super early, haha, surprised you, I bet. But I’m almost done with Omega and I gotta give you all of it by next Thursday, so the updates are gonna be pretty frequent. I hope that’s a good thing. Thank you ALL so much for reading and everything, it means so much to me and all of your support has made so many crappy days much better. So a HUGE thank you :) Now, I hope you enjoy this chapter and the ones to come!
Gracias! <3 vb123321
Chapter Twenty-Eight
♣ Josh ♣
Astrid completely broke down at that point. I thought she had been emotional back in the cell when she had cried in my arms, but after the doctor finished talking, she just went to pieces, almost hysterical as she sobbed into the sheet. I crouched next to her, trying to speak soothingly as I put my arm back around her shoulders, but she refused to be solaced, to the point that Doctor Harry Neil stuck a needle in her arm and she collapsed to the ground.
“What the hell!” I shouted at him, catching her head a moment before it cracked against the floor. Her body was completely limp, eyes closing with tears still pooling in them. The doctor ignored me, saying something sharply to the Omega agent in the room. He disappeared, returning a moment later with another man and a stretcher.
“It’s just a calming drug,” said the doctor as I tried to resist the agents. “They’re going to take her to another hospital room, that’s all, I swear. She needs to be checked up too – haven’t you noticed all the blood over her arm?”
Forcing my fatigued mind to think logically, I allowed the agents to lift her onto the stretcher, getting to my feet as well and staggering slightly. Catching one end of the stand next to Charlie’s bed, I watched them wheel her out, feeling helpless and panicked and exhausted. The IV brushed against my arm, making me jump and then feel repulsed, surrounded by the machines that were just barely keeping his body alive, their beeping and humming inundating my ears.
The doctor stepped forward, caught my arm to steady me. “You all right there?” His gaze was steady, reassuring. “Maybe we should find you a hospital bed, too?”
I shook my head, my eyes distracted by the noise of the oxygen hissing through the machine attached to Charlie’s body. That old pathological fear of hospitals was rushing back, my mouth dry as I stepped away from the bed, suddenly feeling as if someone had placed heavy weights on my shoulders. All my reassuring talk to Astrid had been bluster and hopeful thinking that was soon squashed as I saw his white, bruised face and heard the doctor’s prognosis and watched just how big a struggle it was even for a machine to breathe for him.
“He’s not going to make it, is he?” My voice seemed too loud in the hospital room as my feet continued to move away from the bed, my eyes still on his face. “You were just trying to reassure Astrid, weren’t you?”
His eyes were weary. “I wasn’t lying when I said time would tell. There’s not much we can do at this point but feed him blood, water, and oxygen, and then just let nature do its work.”
“Yeah, well, what if it doesn’t?” I shot back, wondering vaguely why my body was trembling as I pressed my back up against the wall next to the door. The doctor was looking at me strangely; a light flashed on the lens of his glasses so that I couldn’t see the expression in his eyes, and when he spoke, his voice was very gentle.
“I think you should try and get some sleep. How long have you been up?”
Shaking my head, I scrabbled for the door handle with one hand, my head spinning with the smell of antiseptic. Doctor Neil stepped forward carefully, one hand extended, but I yanked the door open and practically fell through it into the hallway. A surprised-looking nurse yelped slightly as I almost ran into her, the doctor assuring her that everything was fine as she gave me a nervous look. I wondered what I looked like to her – dirty, bloody, fatigued.
“I’ll be all right,” I told the doctor, my voice distant in my ears. “Don’t worry about me, okay? Just make him get better.”
I couldn’t stand the pity in his eyes, didn’t want to hear his false words as he looked at me, and so I took off down that long, white hallway in a shuffling run. My breathing was ragged, my vision spotted as panic swam through my mind, and it wasn’t far from that hospital room that I slowed to a halt, falling against a wall and sliding to the floor. I put my face in my knees, running my hands through tangled hair as I tried to breathe regularly.
Astrid’s face swam in front of my eyes, tearstained and terrified as she looked down at Charlie’s still body, as those three words finally came out of her mouth. Why did he have to almost die for her to notice him? But maybe that was what love was like – you just took someone for granted until you couldn’t have them anymore. I wouldn’t know. She didn’t seem to understand either – she had never understood – but I had seen it for ages now, had seen the look in her eyes that was so different from how she had ever looked at Pierre or even Jay.
What was it like? I wondered dully, barely conscious of the person that gave me a strange look as he walked by, ignoring his question of whether I was all right. Why did they care, why did it matter, why couldn’t they just concentrate on making Charlie better so that he too could hear those words come out of her mouth?
“Hey, Steiner, you all right?”
My head rose somewhat groggily as the familiar voice filtered through my ears. I had trouble focusing, the bright lights of the hallways messing with my vision as I took in the person standing in front of me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked in confusion, pressing one hand to my head as it spun dizzily. “I thought you were –” But then I realized that I didn’t know exactly what I had thought.
Wulf laughed a little, extending one hand down to me as he said, “You look kind of rough, kid. You gotta be exhausted. Do you realize what time it is?”
I had just told Astrid the time a few minutes ago – or was it an hour? How long had it even been since I had been in the hospital room, looking down at Charlie’s body? No, I had to stop thinking about it like that – it wasn’t a body, it was Charlie, he was alive, he was going to make it. Rubbing my eyes, I ignored Wulf’s outstretched hand, choosing to stay on the floor instead, as I wasn’t sure if I would be able to keep my balance.
“I’m not tired,” I murmured.
He had a strange look on his face. “It’s almost eight a.m., buddy. Mauser tells me you guys got here around five-thirty last night, and I’m pretty sure you haven’t slept.”
Eight. I put my head back in my hands, bewildered. Had I been sitting here for three hours? I couldn’t remember. “I’m not tired,” I said again as I looked up at him, though my voice was dim. “Look, I just need to get some caffeine or something. Is Astrid okay?”
This time I let him help me to my feet, staggering slightly as the bright lights swam in front of my eyes. Wulf held my arm for a moment, steadying me, before I shrugged him off and looked at him for an answer. He sighed. “She’ll be okay. I went by her room looking for you and it seemed like she was asleep.”
Drugged, more like, I thought but didn’t say, leaning against the wall.
“Doctor says it’s mostly shock, that she doesn’t have any real injuries except for the bullet wound in her arm, but that should be fine. Some smoke inhalation, little concussion, but that’s it. She’ll make a full recovery.”
But would she, if Charlie didn’t as well? I nodded in affirmation of Wulf’s words, pretending like I was convinced by them. He stood directly in front of me, putting his hands on his hips as he stared down at me. I glanced up into his ice-blue eyes, frowning like a stubborn five-year-old as he opened his mouth again.
“You really need to find a bed. You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“I’m not tired,” I said doggedly, standing up straight and glaring at him. “Where’s Joel? I should probably talk to him.”
Wulf gave up, following me as I began to walk down the hallway although I had no idea where I was going. “The kid? He’s probably still sleeping.” His voice held a note of irritation as he said it, but I ignored the hint behind his words.
“That’s good.” I ran a hand through my hair again, exhaling. “Poor guy’s been through kind of a lot.”
We turned the corner and moved out of the hospital wing, the walls softening to normal grays and browns instead of blinding white. My feet kept moving as my brain struggled to catch up with them, walking blindly past office doors and surprised faces. Wulf stuck at my side, flashing some sort of badge every now and then to let the faces know I was with an authorized agent and wasn’t crazy.
“So have you,” he said, and it took me a moment to figure out what he was talking about.
“Yeah, well…” I didn’t feel like arguing, deciding to change the subject instead as something filtered through my mind. “How about Young? Wasn’t he supposed to be flying over here?”
Wulf looked reluctant. “Yeah, actually, he’s here…”
I stopped dead, turning to stare at the older agent as studied the ceiling. “Does he want to talk to me?” I asked cautiously, unsure of how I felt about that. “I mean –” What I wanted to ask was whether he had come with handcuffs or a handshake or just a gun.
“I think he kind of wanted to talk to all three of you together,” Wulf said, running a hand over the top of his head. “But clearly that isn’t going to happen – he’s not the happiest guy right now, Steiner.”
“Don’t see why not,” I said, slightly bitterly as I stuck my hands in my pockets and glowered at the floor. “He’s got all three of us in custody, and the kid too, and he’s got the Red list, and Jay’s dead.”
Wulf smiled a little grimly. “Not sure it’s that simple, what with this whole mess you got into with Omega.”
“I got into!” Speechless, I stared at him a moment, throwing up my hands and then jamming them back into my pockets in disgust. “Oh heck. Why don’t I just talk to him now and get this over with?”
“A wonderful idea.”
I jumped as a voice sounded from a few feet away, turning to see the director of Delta himself standing in the hallway with his usual passive look. Slightly unnerved by how he had managed to creep on us, I took a moment to give him a good glare before saying, “Okay, shoot. What are you going to do to me?”
Young just smiled genially. “Why don’t we find a nicer place to talk? You look exhausted. Maybe we can get you some food.”
Perplexed, I watched the director as he turned and began walking down the hall. Wulf shrugged at me in a your-choice-kid sort of way, and after a moment I followed Young, glancing back to make sure Wulf was behind me. Delta’s director seemed to know his way around Omega’s agency like he lived there – and for all I knew he did – and after a few seconds, he stopped at a nice mahogany door and opened it for me.
“After you, please.”
Now feeling nervous, I walked through guardedly, fully expecting heavily-armed agents to jump out and slam me into the wall. But Young simply closed the door behind Wulf and himself and gestured for us to seat ourselves in the armchairs that surrounded a coffee table in the center of the room. I looked around as I perched on the edge of a leather chair, taking in the paintings on the wooden walls and the soft carpet underfoot.
“Croissants, anyone?”
I stared at Young as he picked up the pastry-laden plate from the coffee table and offered it to Wulf and myself. Wulf looked like he was barely holding back a grin as he shook his head, instead pouring himself a cup of coffee from the pot that was also on the table. Young held my gaze until I reached out and took a croissant, holding it uncertainly in one hand as Wulf handed me a cup of coffee.
“Eat,” said the director, his eyes guileless. “You look half-dead.”
I was anything but; I had seen half-dead. I had seen almost-dead.
Taking a sip of the coffee, I choked a little as it burnt my tongue, the sound loud in the silence that fell over the room. My stomach was churning so uncomfortably that I couldn’t eat the croissant in my hand; even though Young looked peaceable enough, munching on his pastry, I was convinced that this was all some sort of trap. Hadn’t he only been hunting us for a few weeks with armed men?
“I must offer you my congratulations.” Young’s voice was even, his eyes on his coffee as I stopped attempting to drink to stare at him again.
“What, for avoiding you for so long?”
Young smiled, blowing on his drink. “No, no, although I suppose I must commend you for that as well, since it showed how well-trained you are, thanks to Delta.” He actually did look rather proud for a moment. “No, I am congratulating you for completing your assignment.”
I wasn’t sure I was hearing him correctly and glanced at Wulf, who shrugged again with a mysterious look. “My assignment?” I repeated.
“Yes, Steiner, that is what I said. I presume you’re not deaf.”
Bewildered, I reached forward and put the croissant down on the table. “But we weren’t on an assignment –”
It looked like he was almost laughing as he swallowed a piece of pastry. “You don’t understand, I see. Don’t you realize? This whole thing was an assignment for you. A test, if you will. And you succeeded, if not as efficiently as I would have wished.”
If I hadn’t been the professionally-trained agent he had just commended me for, I would have dropped the coffee all over the pristine carpet. A slight buzzing filled my ears as his words filtered through my mind, slowly taking shape. I opened my mouth to say something but found I could not, swallowing hard and attempting to gain control of my vocal cords.
“You mean –” I stopped, coughed. “You’re saying that –”
Young was nodding, a very self-satisfied look in his eyes. “Yes. We made up the entire thing – AWOL and everything. I did tell Miss von Shauff that it was an assignment of sorts when I gave her my orders a while back, but I didn’t think she’d tell you. I wanted to see how well you could perform under that kind of pressure, and you did marvelously. Thanks to you, I’ve taken care of a rogue agent that we’ve been chasing for years and I have the Red list back. Well done.”
I put the coffee mug down shakily, gripping my hair with both hands as I leaned forward and willed myself not to throw up.
“I understand that you’re very confused. It was an awful lot to go through, I know, especially since I hadn’t foreseen that Charlie Gallagher would have been alive –”
“Shut up!” I snarled, getting to my feet suddenly. “Just shut up!”
Young’s face was mildly bemused as he looked up into mine. Wulf leaned forward, tried to say something to me with a concerned expression, but I turned away from them, trying desperately to think rationally as I began to pace back and forth on the lush carpet.
So Young had been lying the whole time – there was never an AWOL on us or anything – we had gone through that whole thing for nothing. It had been about Jay from the beginning – find him, get the Red list, clear Delta’s name forever. Of course, it only made sense: It had been much too easy, running away, leaving Delta, flying to London, evading them for so long. How had I not seen it before?
An assignment. Just another damn assignment and we had fallen into its trap – Young didn’t care if Charlie was almost dead and Astrid was in pieces and Joel was now completely an orphan – why should he? He had gotten Jay, he had gotten the Red list, his life was now complete; why should he care if everyone else’s was blown to hell?
“Josh –” Wulf began, getting to his feet, but I ignored him, continuing to pace until I felt dizzy. I wiped a hand across my mouth, feeling sweat trickle down my back and the sides of my face. It was too hot in the room, air pressing against my face until I began to feel claustrophobic, Young’s and Wulf’s eyes boring into me as I backed up against the wall, my head colliding with a picture frame.
“Look, kid –” Wulf stepped carefully around my armchair, approaching me like one would a cornered animal, and suddenly I saw myself in his eyes: sweaty, wide-eyed, trembling with shock and fatigue.
I looked over at Young, words flying through my mind; there was so much I wanted to say to him but nothing would come out. “Well, I’m glad you’re happy,” I managed to say after a moment, my words choked. “Maybe you could, I don’t know, pay Charlie’s hospital bill or something, make him a get-well card, but like you freaking care –”
“I called his mother,” said Young quietly, his face like stone. “To let her know he’s alive. Which is more than you ever did, I might add.”
“Why bother?” I was shouting, my voice rising and body trembling. “He’s just going to die now anyway, isn’t he, thanks to you. And you’re just happy because you got your precious Red list and you don’t even care that Jay’s dead too and Astrid’s in pieces, did you forget that we’ve know him all our lives, he was our freaking neighbor –”
I couldn’t go on, couldn’t stand there and look at that blank face that couldn’t care less whether I were dead or alive as long as he got what he wanted. Ignoring Wulf as he tried to reason with me, I yanked open the door and half-fell out of the room. “Let him go,” I heard Young say as I slammed the door. I felt like I was drunk, staggering down the hall, ricocheting off the walls like a loose bullet as my thoughts spiraled.
At some point I found myself in the lobby again, the guards giving me surprised look as I walked past them. Wulf must have been right behind me, because they didn’t try to stop me as I threw myself down on the couch I had occupied earlier and buried my face in the cushion. I heard Wulf pause next to me, his voice in my ears as I turned wearily to look at him.
“I’m sorry –”
“That you didn’t tell me?” I was too tired to be bitter. “I guess Astrid was right after all. I shouldn’t have trusted you.”
His eyes flashed. “I didn’t know either. Young never told me – although I guess I should have guessed. Sometimes he made it a little easy for you guys to get away.
“Look, kid,” he said again, perched on the armchair. “You know how Young is; he really does care, he just gets a little…conceited.” I just looked at him. Wulf sighed. “Yeah, I get that you aren’t going to believe me, but just don’t let him get to you.” He stood up, stretching his arms over his head with a tired look. “Try and get some sleep, okay? When you wake up you can go check on Astrid and Charlie again.”
I buried my face in my arms again as he moved away. Fatigue was pushing my eyelids shut, setting my mind into a dizzying swirl as rational thought was shunted to one side, but even as I began to drop off at last, I could still feel that little flame of anger sparking in the emptiness inside.
I woke slowly, my head feeling heavy as I lifted it from the couch and looked around the lobby, trying to get my bearings. The room was empty; even the guards had left. Yawning hugely, I scrubbed at my eyes and stretched my stiff neck, sleep still weighing down my mind so that I had difficulty thinking straight. The calm of the atmosphere unnerved me slightly, as if it were mocking the turmoil in my head.
Feeling as though I were in some sort of time warp, I glanced at my watch, wondering exactly how long I had slept – and almost fell off the couch when I read 11:45 p.m. It had been nearly sixteen hours; I couldn’t remember the last time, if ever, that I had slept that long. More disorientated than ever, I slowly got to my feet, pulling my arms behind my head and looking around for some other sign of life.
Wandering out of the lobby and into those silent halls, I wondered at the lack of activity until I realized it was nearly midnight. Of course no one was in the offices that lined the corridor, except for a couple of poor agents that got stuck on night shift, but then where did they all go? I wanted to talk to someone, see if Astrid or Joel was awake, but I couldn’t remember anyone telling me where to go if I woke up, so I just meandered through the halls until they turned into that blinding white again.
I paused in the middle of a hospital corridor, trying to remember where exactly Charlie’s room had been, but my mental state the morning before hadn’t been too great. Just as I was looking around for a map or something, the sound of footsteps hit my ears and I glanced further down the hall to see Wulf walking my way, Stephen Mauser at his side. They were talking animatedly, Wulf waving a sheet of paper in one hand with an emphatic gesture as the blonde agent looked irritated.
As they came up to me, they stopped talking, though Stephen still looked displeased as he said, “So there you are.”
“Sleep well?” Wulf grinned at me, folding the paper and sticking it in his pocket. “You were out for hours and hours, man.”
I shrugged, feeling uncomfortably like a specimen as they both looked me over. “I’m feeling loads better now, though. Where did you say Astrid was?”
“I don’t remember saying anything,” Stephen replied with some hesitation on his face, but then Wulf threw him an aggravated look and he relented. “You’re not technically supposed to visit her right now, but I reckon it can’t hurt anyone.” He glanced at Wulf. “I’ll take you there now. We’re done talking anyway.”
Wulf didn’t come with us as we began to walk down the hallway again, just stood there and watched us go without expression. Another time I would have asked what they had been talking about, would have been curious about that sheet of paper, but I didn’t have the emotion in me to do so. Stephen glanced at me a couple times as if waiting for me to ask, and when I didn’t it seemed like he couldn’t keep it in.
“We’re trying to track down the rest of Cloying’s men,” he said abruptly. “It really doesn’t concern you at all, don’t worry – unless you know something.” I raised an eyebrow at him and he sighed. “I reckoned you were going to ask at some point. Might as well tell you.”
“Well, I don’t know anything,” I said, and he left it at that.
It took only a few minutes to reach the hospital room, but I had already gotten lost by the time we arrived, wondering how large the place was exactly. Stephen stopped outside the door, gesturing for me to go on without him, and when I looked at him he said, “I’m pretty sure we can trust you now, especially since we know you were just on an assignment, right?”
I clenched my fists, barely able to hold back the punch I wanted to give him as I nodded as politely as I could. It wasn’t his fault anyway. Walking into the room, I closed the door behind me and looked at the bed. Astrid’s dark eyes flicked up to my face as I came to her side, her face pale and vacant in a way that made my stomach hurt. Pulling over the doctor’s swivel chair, I seated myself on it at the side of the bed, offering her a grin.
“Hey,” I said, and just that. Not how are you or good to see you awake; I wasn’t actually as tactless as everyone thought I was. She simply looked at me, not answering, and though I wasn’t surprised I wasn’t exactly thrilled either. Her eyes were dull and slightly clouded, probably from the concussion, and there was a white bandage around her upper arm. I searched for something to say, wishing I could bring good news and knowing that it wasn’t the best time to bring up what Young had told me.
“You look like you slept well,” she said right as I opened my mouth again.
I shrugged. “Yeah, pretty well. I don’t know why I was so tired.” Again, I didn’t ask how she was, and this time she registered what I was doing, something flickering in her eyes. I shifted on the chair, wishing I knew what to say, but the whole sympathy thing wasn’t my strong suit and I wasn’t in the mood to discuss what had happened.
Astrid spoke again. “Joel okay?”
“Yeah,” I said again, relieved. “I haven’t seen him in a bit – Wulf said he was sleeping – but I was going to go look for him after I stopped by to see you.”
“That’s good.”
Her voice was distant. I felt like burying myself under the bed from the awkwardness of it all; why couldn’t I think of anything to say? Charlie’s still body in that hospital bed hung in my mind, surrounded by those life-sucking machines in the white, white room. And Jay’s body in the middle of the street, blood pooled on his chest. Try as I might, I couldn’t rid my mind of those images.
“When are they going to let you out of here?” I asked, forcing my voice to stay casual.
“Probably tomorrow morning.” Hers was the same.
I shuffled my feet, rubbing a hand through my hair. “Okay, well – maybe I should leave you to get some sleep? I just woke up, but it’s pretty late.”
She shrugged, wincing a little. “Yeah, okay.”
Pushing the chair away from the bed, I got to my feet not without relief, saying, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, then. I better go find Joel.”
As she nodded, I turned away and opened the door of the room. Her voice drifted over to my ears briefly: “Thanks, Josh.” I glanced back at her, grinning again as she gave me an attempt at a smile.
“No problem. Winnie the Pooh, remember?”
She rolled her eyes, and I laughed at the familiar gesture as I left the room.