"I'm so sorry Kara for all the shit I've put you through" I hear Ryder whisper as he runs his finger down my arm.
I've been awake for about 5 minutes now. The moment I realized I was half-naked in bed with Ryder, I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. However, before I had a chance to make my great escape, I felt Ryder stirring behind me. I instantly closed my eyes, forcing my body to stay still and keep my heart rate slow.
Now I'm here in bed with Ryder, pretending to be asleep while he unknowingly confesses his love for me.
"I'm sorry I rejected you. I'm sorry I forced you to raise our son on your own. I'm sorry I didn't man-up all those years ago to find you and fix the horrible mistake I made. I'd like to say that I can charm you and win you back, but I think I already know that's not going to happen. And that's my fault, I deserve it. I love you so much, Kara. When you were gone, I convinced myself that you didn't love me, so I had no obligation to love you back. But that's a lie, the truth is I never stopped loving you. I dated other girls only to break their hearts because I couldn't love them the way I love you. You were it for me Kara, and I blew it." He says before kissing my shoulder and sitting up, letting his back rest on the headboard.
He sighs loudly, "You can't stop pretending to be sleeping now." I can almost hear the smile in his voice.
I sit up, holding the sheet over my body as I bring my back to the headboard, "When did you know I was awake?" I ask, looking over at him.
"Since I woke up. But I figured if you were gonna pretend to sleep, at least I would have a few moments to talk to you without being interrupted." He replies, looking over at me with that million-dollar smile. The same smile I fell in love with years ago.
"Ryder, I-" I start, not really sure how to approach this conversation.
"Look, Kara, I know you don't love me anymore. I get that now. But I'm not going to repeat what happened three years ago." He says, turning his body to look at me directly.
I look at him confused and he replies with a sigh.
"I let you and Carter go last time. I didn't fight for our family. I didn't fight for you." He says before moving from his spot beside me to sitting right in front of me.
"I know I don't deserve another chance Kara, but I'm begging you for one more. Let me show you that I've changed and that I can be the man you need and the father that Carter needs. Just one night, please Kara." He finishes.
I bite my lip, something I do when I'm thinking, "I don't know Ryder...." I start, "I can't get hurt again, I won't be able to take it. When you rejected me the first time, it almost killed me."
"I know baby, but I'm begging you. One chance. That's all I want." He replies, grabbing my hands and holding them in his. Even with this small amount of contact, I can still feel the sparks. The sparks of a mate bond.
I give him a small smile, "You better not blow it then," I say, looking up to meet his eyes.
"Really?" He asks with a huge smile on his face.
"Oh, do you want me to take it back?" I say sarcastically, "because I mean if you don't want it..."
"No, I want it! I definitely want it!" He backpedals before getting out of bed, "I have to do some pack stuff today, but I'll be back to take you and Carter out. Dinner at 7?" He asks me.
"Works for me," I say with a small smile.
"Okay, see you tonight," He says, walking over to give me a small kiss on my forehead before leaving the room.
I hear his motorcycle start in the garage and hear him drive away. Once I know he's out of earshot, I let out the huge breath I've been holding in.
What the hell did I just agree to?!? Did I really just give Ryder another chance into my life?!?
I shake my head, hitting my palm to my forehead. It's official, I'm losing my mind. I sigh, walking over to my bathroom, and turn on the water to the bathtub, letting it fill up. I put my hair in a high bun, so it won't get wet. I then throw bath salts in the water before stripping and sitting in the warm water. I lay in the tub, letting my muscles relax. I let my thoughts wander aimlessly to Ryder, could I really fall in love with him again? Can I really let him back into my life?
I mean am I attracted to him? Absolutely. My mate has the face and body of a Greek god. But can I trust him not to break my heart? I guess only time will tell...
The rest of the day goes by rather quickly. Ryder texted me saying he would bring Carter when it's time to go to dinner, so this gave me a lot of time to do some work from home. I was actually able to get a lot of stuff done before it was time to start getting ready.
I walk over to my duffel bag and pulled out a cute sundress that I packed. I also gave my hair loose curls on the ends and then applied light make-up.
Just as I finish packing my small purse, there is a knock on my door. "Come in," I call, putting on my black wedges.
The door opens and Carter comes in with a bouquet of white roses, wearing a black pair of jeans with a cute collared shirt. "Hi, baby!" I say, bending down and hold my arms for him, which he gladly runs into. I pick him up and Ryder walks in also wearing a pair of black jeans and a collared shirt, except Ryder's is a little tighter. He smiles and walks over to us, "Carter, what do you say to mommy?" He says, winking at him.
"You look very pretty mommy," he says to me, handing me the flowers.
"Aww...thank you, baby!" I say, kissing his cheek, and then mouthing a 'thank you' to Ryder, who just smiles.
"You ready to go?" He replies
"Yep, let's get going," I say, letting go of Carter so he can go downstairs and put his shoes on. Ryder walks over grabbing my hand as we walk out of the house. The sparks shoot through my arm, giving me a shiver of excitement. Who knew that something so innocent like holding hands would make my heart flutter as much as it is now.
He opens the door for Carter so he can get in his car seat before opening my door letting me inside. He closes both doors before running to his side and getting in.
"So where are we going?" I ask.
"Don't you worry about it sweetheart, you just sit back and relax." He replies, smiling at me as he drives. Well, there's the charm he was talking about...
After about 15 minutes of driving, we pull up into a very fancy restaurant, "Ryder, this place is way too fancy, I.." I start, but he just hushes me, "Nothing is too fancy for you."
He smiles as he gets out, giving valet his keys before walking around opening my door and helping Carter out. We all walk through the doors and up to the hostess, who looks bored standing there. However, once she lays eyes on Ryder, she stands up straighter and fixes her shirt.
"I have a reservation for Williams," Ryder says, barely paying attention to her. She not so secretively checks him out, and I growl softly. He may not be mine, but he surely isn't yours honey!
Ryder squeezing my hand as the hostess grabs two menus and walks us to a table. She shakes her ass as we walk to the table. I sit down, putting Carter in the sit between myself and Ryder. The hostess bends over to pass us the menus, giving Ryder a good show of her boobs. Ryder just gives her a disgusted look, "Um, could you get your cleavage out of my face. You are making myself, my girlfriend, and my son very uncomfortable." He says, brushing her off.
She just scoffs and glares at me, but I give her a well-deserved get-away-he's-mine-smirk as she walks away. Wait, did I just reference Ryder as mine? I must be losing my mind.
Ryder smirks at me, "Is that jealousy I see in your eyes, Kara?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at me.
I just roll my eyes at him, mumbling a "Whatever", as I open the menu, trying to downplay that I was totally jealous.
Our waiter comes by to take our order, "So what kind of drinks would you like?" He asks
I was about to say a Coke, but Ryder interferes, "The lady is going to have your finest wine, I'll have a Coke, and the little man is going to have a fruit punch." He says, smiling at me.
The waiter takes it down on his notepad before walking away. I just gape at Ryder, "Ryder I don't need wine!" I tell him, but he just laughs, grabbing my hand and kissing my knuckles, "Yes you do, you deserve everything, and I'm going to give you just that. Have you decided what you're going to eat?" He says, still holding my hand.
I smile, "I think I'm going to have the Chicken Parmesan," I say, closing the menu and placing it on the table. Ryder smiles at me as the waiter comes back with our drinks, and then takes our order. We just talk as we wait for our food.
Carter plays with his truck and Ryder focuses on making a track out of our cups and the salt and pepper shakers. I smile as Ryder tries it out, making little truck noises with his mouth. I laugh into my napkin, trying not to make so much noise. I quickly take out my cellphone and take a quick picture, capturing a moment of Ryder making the truck noise as Carter laughs, and another of both of them laughing.
The waiter comes by and sets down the plates just as I put my phone away. Carter immediately digs into his pasta as Ryder and I just smile before starting to eat our dinner. We all eat our food in comfortable silence, which I find quite enjoyable.
About halfway through dinner, a waiter walks past our table carrying dessert and Carter loses his mind. "Daddy, can I have dessert?" he asks, jumping in his chair.
"Only if you eat all your Mac and Cheese," Ryder replies, putting a piece of his steak into his mouth. I nod, popping a piece of chicken into my mouth as well. Ryder smiles at me while he chews, and then reaches over to grab my hand. I let him take it, smiling at him before continuing to eat. Soon enough, dinner is finished and we order dessert. Ryder orders a big chocolate chip cookie and ice cream, as they take away our empty plates. Once we finish our dessert, Ryder pays and we walk out of the restaurant.
However, as we wait for the valet to get our car, Ryder hands his phone over to another valet guy, "Hey, would you mind taking our picture?", he asks. "Not at all sir," he replies, taking the phone. Ryder walks over to Carter and me, carrying Carter in one arm before wrapping his other arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I smile, letting my hands rest on his chest.
"Okay, 1..2..3.. say cheese!" The man says. I hear Carter yell out, "Cheese," as Ryder and I just smile.
As soon as the picture is taken, the valet guy drives up with Ryder's car. He puts Carter in the car first before going to grab his phone, sliding the man a twenty-dollar bill. He quickly turns around to open my door, waiting for me to get inside. I slowly step inside, buckling up as Ryder slides into the car, driving away.
We drive to Ryder's in silence, only the faint snoring of Carter in the backseat. Once we get back to his house, Ryder stops the car and turns to face me, "You okay? You've been quiet the whole ride home...Oh my god, you didn't like the dinner! It was too showy, you know Marley said that..." He rambles before I place my hand on his to stop him.
"Ryder it was perfect. I loved it, thank you" I tell him, and he instantly starts smiling again before turning off the car.
We both get out of the car and Ryder picks up Carter who is still sleeping before leading us into the house. Ryder walks into Carter's room, quickly changing Carter's clothes into pajamas before putting him down lightly on his bed and covering him up with a blanket.
While he addresses Carter, I walk into my room and change into a big t-shirt and a pair of pajama shorts. I brush my teeth and take off my makeup, before walking back into my room and laying down on my bed.
I sigh, grabbing my phone and looking at the pictures that Ryder sent me. I make the picture of all three of us as my lock screen, and the one of Ryder and Carter laughing as my home screen, My boys. I am interrupted by Ryder's head peeking out of the doorway, "Hey I'm going to go to bed, I just wanted to tell you goodnight" He says awkwardly.
I smile at him "Goodnight Ryder" I reply. He gives me a small smile before closing my door and heading back to his own room.
I sigh, putting my phone down on the nightstand and lay, starting to get comfortable. As I start to fall asleep, all I can think about is Ryder. Please don't let me regret this...