Dedication to emmadances for helping me with the ballet stuff because (confession time) I haven't taken a ballet class since I was four and I'm pretty sure I just spun around in circles and tried not to fall over.
At age thirteen Arabella started to develop. She kept her rigorous dance schedule, but her body was changing. Soon, she began to notice curves where there weren't before. Most people wouldn’t have even noticed the small pockets of fat on her hips or her half-cup size gain on her thin, tall frame. She didn’t have a mom around to talk to about it, however, and felt very self conscious.
Arabella headed over to the bar to warm up by herself like always and thought about how much her ballet experience had changed over the past two years. When the other girls found out about her mom’s death they didn’t know how to react. The result was the other girls pulling away from Arabella. They weren’t usually mean to her, but she never truly felt included. She didn’t mind too much, though. Part of it was because they were jealous. She was the tallest of the group, and had always been the skinniest naturally. When she moved through her warm ups and stretches, she was the most graceful and flexible. Auditions for Swan Lake began the next week, and everyone knew Arabella would get the lead.
In the corner of her eye, Arabella spotted Jordan looking at her, frustrated. When she caught Arabella looking back, she turned and whispered something to her friends. They all giggled as they stretched while Jordan made gestures suggesting she was talking about someone with a large chest. Jordan was the second best dancer at the studio as well as the “Queen Bee.” She was very peitie with short black hair and large, brown eyes. Usually Jordan couldn’t get to her, but that day Arabella felt shame rising up into a blush when she saw all the girls laughing. Afraid she would start crying, Arabella turned away and focused on completing her daily bar exercises.
“Beautiful, Arabella,” came Maddock’s voice. His British accent and charming smile, along with his rock hard abs, made all of the younger girls in the ballet studio swoon. He helped Tina teach some classes even though he was only three years older than Arabella. Most of the girls had a crush on him, but Arabella just saw him as a big goof. She smiled at his compliment.
“Maybe if SOME OTHER GIRLS would pay attention to their warm ups, their arabesques would be as good as Arabella’s,” he scolded, then winked at Arabella. That was another reason the other girls didn’t like her. Since she was the only one that wasn’t creepy obsessed with Maddock, the two had become close friends. Arabella would rather have her instructor’s approval than her peers’. Jordan stood up and, as soon as Maddock turned around, shot Arabella a nasty look. Arabella lowered her gaze to the floor and inspected her foot position even though it was already perfect.
“Focus is a virtue, girls,” said a loud female voice. Tina walked into the room and every girl immediately sat or stood a little straighter. Tina owned the studio, one of the most prestigious in New York, and was very strict. She ran hard practices six days a week and expected nothing less than perfection all the time. Her rare compliments could have you floating on air, but more often her brutally honest critiques often sent girls crying to the bathroom.
“Why don’t you demonstrate a grand jete for us Arabella?” she said, pulling her short brown hair into a small ponytail.
Arabella nodded and set her mind on the move. She had practiced this one over and over with Maddock last week and knew she had it down. She took a deep breath and focused her mind. Taking two strong, graceful steps, she pushed off into the air and extended her back leg. Her legs stretched out in the air, toes perfectly pointed. With barely a sound, her feet landed gracefully back in the floor. Pride and relief flooded though Arabella when she landed. She had just executed it perfectly. The lead was practically locked up! She turned toward Tina and Maddock beaming. Maddock smiled back gently and winked. Tina gave a small nod of approval. Arabella turned the other way to get a look at the other girls’ faces. She allowed herself a little joy from their jealous expressions. She was flying high when suddenly a pair of hands grasped her hips.
“What is this?” she yelled and Arabella gasped. Tina’s hands were squeezing the small amounts of fat though her leotard and pinching it so it bulged out painfully. Gasped in pain and surprise and bit her lip to keep from crying. Odette can’t be fat. You’re cutting it close Arabella. Disgusting,” she spat, then finally released her. Arabella collapsed to the ground shaking.
“I can’t look at you anymore. Pathetic. Practice is over. Make sure you drink some water everyone,” she said and stormed out. Arabella put her hands on her hips tenderly, touching them to see how bad the bruises would be. She could already feel them swelling, which made her feel even worse. Maddock looked like he was going to step toward her, then Tina angrily yelled his name from the hallway. He put his head down and walked out after her.
Arabella remained shaking on the floor. Jordan sauntered over, pointe shoes tossed over her shoulder. Arabella wiped the tears off her cheek and looked up.
“I haven’t eaten in three days,’ gloated Jordan proudly, patting her flat stomach. She smiled, linked arms with her friends, and walked out leaving Arabella in a heap on the floor.
Arabella snapped out of it just a short minute later breathing heavily and trying to hold back tears. She was confused because every other flashback he had experienced had been about her mother. Why was that one so strong? She thought back to the last time she had eaten an actual meal. Four days. Arabella felt a little bit of shame, but also some pride. Take that, Jordan.
She quickly changed into her practice clothes and scurried off into the studio. She sat down to lace up her shoes as Maddock was explaining something to one of the younger girls. He saw her walk in and winked. Jordan sauntered over to the bar with her friends, not hesitating to shoot Arabella a nasty look. Now that Arabella was just as skinny as Jordan, the mean girl had nothing on her. She only made fun of Arabella for being antisocial which was fine. It was true. Arabella, however, would rather be antisocial and the best dancer than be like Jordan.
As was the ritual on Monday nights, Maddock and Arabella snuck up to the rooftop of the studio after practice to hang out. He was her only real friend and she always looked forward to the time they spent together. Maddock was the only one that knew how much her mom’s passing really affected her. Even he didn’t know about her eating habits, though.
She took a pack of cards out of her bag and started splitting them up so they could play their favorite game, war.
“How was your weekend darling?” he asked.
“It was just splendid” she responded, making fun of his accent. He pretended to be offended. “And yours?”
He looked down and blushed. “I met someone.”
Arabella’s eyes widened. “YOU DID?”
“Oh don’t be so surprised. Unlike you, some people find me very attractive.”
“Shut it, you know I think you’re a hunk” she winked. There was never anything romantic between them, she it was comfortable for the two of them to joke about it. She knew that he hadn‘t been on a date in around six months, though, so she was truly excited for him. “For real, what’s her name?”
He looked down and blushed profusely, shaking his head a little.
“Is it a he?” she asked gently. About a year before Maddock had told her that he was attracted to girls and guys. He went through a very uncomfortable and confusing stage, but eventually became at peace with it. He even cracked jokes about it to her, which made Arabella happy. She accepted him as he was because he was her friend and it didn’t matter to her who he loved. As long as he still left time for her, of course! Still, even in the past year he had only dated girls so this was a surprise.
“It is! Stop being all bashful, you know I don’t care if you’re bi. Now gush! What is his name?”
“Ryan” he said and his face lit up. “He’s an English student at NYU and I met him at a poetry reading. He read this amazing, funny, touching poem about coming out and I told him after that I really enjoyed it. Then he asked for my number.”
“That’s amazing! Is he cute?”
“He’s tall and wears oxfords and, wait for it, he’s a ginger.”
Arabella squealed and jumped up to do a happy dance. “I love him already. When do I get to meet him?”
“Calm down, we haven’t even been on a date yet” he said like it was no big deal, but his smile gave him away. “We have been texting...”
“Ask him out!” she exclaimed and reached for his phone. He snatched it before she could get to it but agreed to call him later. She was unbelievably happy for him. If anyone deserved happiness with someone it was Maddock. They spent the next half hour finishing their game of war and talking about nothing in particular. He won so they marked a tally in sharpe next to the M on the roof. There were so many tally marks from all the Mondays they spent talking and playing war up on that roof it was hard to tell who was ahead. Really, there were more than either of them would bother to count but they dutifully kept score just in case. As the sun began to set, they headed off home in separate directions.
Author's Note: So that's where Arabella's anorexia started. I know most ballet studios DO NOT work that way AT ALL that's just the way my story worked out! What do you think of Maddock?:) Just a heads up, italics always means flashback.
love yewwww
Hannah Rose<3