"But sometimes, I go back to those frustrating times. Facing myself, who was like a white piece of paper..."
~Jump-BTS
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"...fair! and I bet you're going to just take this like some little game, right? Because she has less rights then the entirety of the whole f*cking world, huh?!"
Taehyung lifted his head slowly, being awakened by yelling. Who's yelling? Why are they yelling? Looking up, first thing he saw was Hana's sleeping face, not that far from his. He felt his face get hot. You're beautiful, Hana, you look so sweet. She was still holding his hand, though she'd somehow moving to mostly laying her face on it. You're going to kill me like this. He could feel his heart race frantically in his chest.
"You know that's not true, this is a very serious--."
"Bullsh*t! I don't see you arresting anyone!"
Taehyung looked toward where the voices were coming from, seeing The police chief, along with another officer, Hana's mother, Mrs. Park, and Jimin standing off in a corner, not knowing what to do with himself.
"We've yet to establish who did what, ma'am, I would think you'd want the actual culprit to be punished." The chief said, a bored look on his face.
"I told you!" Jimin interjected. "It was Jae-hwa!"
"And what do you mean by 'actual culprit'?" Mrs. Park said, squinting at the police chief, arms crossed, and her mood obviously annoyed. "Are you trying to insinuate that Taehyung did something? Because if you are..." Mrs. Park left it at that.
Mrs. Lee's eyes widened, "Are you out of your mind? He wouldn't do that to my Hana." She said, glaring at the police chief.
The police chief sighed, being surrounded with a room full of glares, and a nervous looking officer next to him, it looked like he wasn't winning the argument. "Of course you'd say that, but is there any evidence that he didn't? Sure, we found the knife, but there's really no telling who used it."
He thinks I did this to Hana... He thinks I'd... Taehyung shivered. You always think it's me, no matter what I do, you always try to pin it on me.
Mrs. Lee paused, looking over in Taehyung's direction, and Taehyung stared back. It was a moment too long. She's considering it. Does she seriously think that I would do that, then carry her to the nurse's office? Taehyung held Mrs. Lee's stare, seeing the uncertainty in her eyes. You believe it, don't you?
"Ask Hana, then. Ask her who did that to her." Jimin said.
The police chief shook his head. "That's not proof. She could lie too."
"Hana is not a damn liar!" Mrs. Lee yelled. "Do you go around asking people who've been mugged if they're sure it wasn't the guy they were pointing to and their brother or something? What the hell kind of system is that, asshole?!"
"Ma'am, calm do--."
"Are you psychotic? What kind of calm would you have if this was your daughter we were talking about?" Mrs. Park asked.
The police chief sighed again. "I'd like you to know, Mrs. Park, that I have a daughter, and I would be upset, but why would a girl assault another girl in this--."
"You're going to tell me next that stuff like that doesn't happen, aren't you? You seem to only speak bullsh*t, oh my god." Mrs. Lee ran both hands though her hair. "She's being bullied, and to be honest, I wouldn't put it passed Jae-hwa." She seemed to be getting calmer in tone, but really, it was more like she had ran out of breath to yell.
Taehyung stopped listening. They were going to go back and forth like this, arguing, trying to prove themselves right. There wasn't anything he could say. Nothing he could do. It would be just like before, no one cares what I have to say, I'm just a murderer.
He suddenly felt like he shouldn't be holding Hana's hand, like he shouldn't let her get so close. He'd killed his Appa, he shouldn't touch her with those same hands that had stabbed someone repeatedly.
No, stop. I hadn't meant to, it was a mistake. A mistake... There isn't blood on my hands, I'm imagining it. I'm going to stay with you as long as I can, Hana. He laid on his face, feeling tears coming. I don't want to leave this family, I don't want to make Hana sad. I don't know what to do...
Someone pulled on Taehyung's shoulder, not exactly rough, but not gentle either. Taehyung turned and looked up at Mrs. Park. "Come on, Taehyung, we're going home." From her tone, she was still upset, still mad about how they were accusing him.
"I..." Taehyung looked back at Hana, who was still sleeping, having heard none of the argument. "I want to make sure...Hana's okay." The words were hard to say, like every word was him taking his heart out. And really, it was.
Mrs. Park closed her eyes, biting her lip. "I know, sweetie, I know. I wish that idiot could see that."
Mrs. Lee walked up next to Mrs. Park, "Or course he can't see that, he only speaks idiot." She commented, then her tone softened, talking to Taehyung. "I've got to take Hana home to rest, ok? You can come visit if you want, she'd love to see you--maybe you and your mom could come over for tea?"
She's speaking to me like I'm a kid. Really, it sounded like she thought he was amusing. It can't be because I'm 'crazy', right? Taehyung nodded, though the word 'mom' made him feel funny, he'd like that a lot. He just wished he didn't have to leave before Hana woke up. I don't want her to wake up and not see me.
~~~
Taehyung left his jacket with Hana, completely on purpose. He felt bad for leaving, for having to ease his hand out of hers and out from under her. He had a spare jacket for school, she could just return it whenever she wanted, and he wouldn't mind if she never returned it.
Maybe it was all the people that had left him, but leaving Hana without even saying good-bye felt like abandoning her. And right after she'd been hurt, and humiliated, and violated. I feel terrible.
Hana probably feels worse. He wouldn't know what it was like to be assaulted in that way, out of all the hell he'd been through, it'd never been like that. He didn't want to think of her as someone to be pitied, not after knowing what pity could feel like, after knowing how eventually it stopped feeling like someone cared, and instead felt like being a dog. And there was already a picture that Taehyung was pretty sure related to calling her a dog.
"Taehyung? Sweetie?" Mrs. Park started, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"
Taehyung looked over to her, realizing how blank his expression must be. He'd been thinking maybe a little too much, but he couldn't eat either. After a moment of looking at Mrs. Park, he just looked back at the dining table, at the plate of food he hadn't touched.
"I know you're worried about Hana," Mrs. Park started. "I know you didn't want to leave her after that, but I'm sure she'll be okay, she's with her family, they'll take care of her, you don't have to worry."
It wasn't that he thought that her family wouldn't take care of her--her family loved her, of course they would take care of her, it was just he wanted to take care of her, he wanted to know how she was doing. Deep down, he was scared of what Jae-hwa had said, that all of this would end, that somehow he'd already guaranteed that he'd get sent back.
Mrs. Park leaned over and whispered. "Sweetie, tell me what's wrong, I can help, we could talk it out if you want."
Talk it out? Like a psychiatrist, or like my Eomma? Taehyung shook his head, he wasn't really feel like talking about it, he didn't know how to put it, no one had ever cared about what he felt, this was still new, and he didn't know how to handle it, after spending his life alone in a room full of people, talking about himself seemed strange and alien.
He stood up, pushing the chair away from the table. "I'm tired...can I go to sleep?"
"Without eating? Are you sure?" Mrs. Park asked, looking concerned. In fact, both Jimin and Kyung-mi looked concerned too, Kyung-mi more toward looking like she thought Taehyung was weird.
Taehyung nodded, the excused himself from the table, leaving the kitchen and going up the stairs to his room. In his room he shut the door and took off the school uniform, at least what was left of it, since he left his jacket with Hana.
He put a white tee-shirt on, then He took the charm off from around his neck and set it on the desk, looking at it for a second. Maybe I should give Hana something. He couldn't remember the last time he gave anyone anything, and Hana had been nice enough to give him something. And then, maybe he should give her something while she got better. Something to make her feel better...What should I give her?
He climbed in bed, pulling the covers over his head. Even if it wasn't his fault, he felt sorry, he felt like it was all because of him.
And they are going to try to pin the whole thing on me. Only because I like her. Taehyung closed his eyes. But I wouldn't do that, I couldn't, I didn't. I would never take a knife to her and try to...
He wasn't sure how long he laid there with the covers pulled over his head, trying to think of what to do to make it better, to make Hana smile. It was strange how much he thought of someone else now, how much he put her before himself. The thought of it being pinned on him seemed like an after thought.
What should I get her? Something beautiful, like her. Jewelry? Or something cute. like her. A phone charm? A Teddy bear? He didn't want her to think he was too eager, they weren't dating, they probably wouldn't date. If she thought about how bad it had gotten for her when Taehyung showed up, then she wouldn't.
Which was why it hurt. It hurt because he could look back at what his life was, and how sh*tty he made everything for everyone else, and he couldn't see how anyone could really love him. Pity, maybe, but love was something else. And anyone he'd ever loved, any hand he ever tried to hold, they always turned around and stabbed him in the back, left him alone again. It wasn't just Jae-hwa, every friend he'd ever had did that. There must be something wrong with me.
But for once...It was different. No one had ever cared as much before. Maybe he could be himself for once, without the filter he'd put on.
Taehyung hugged his pillow. I want to kiss Hana. I want to hug her. He wished he didn't think that would scare her. He wasn't sure where the thought came from either, but cuddling with her sounded like heaven.
It might have been an hour later when someone threw his door open and came jumping on the bed. "Taehyung, get up!"
It was Jimin, he knew the voice, not so much the tone, the tone was something he hadn't heard before, panicky, strained. Taehyung took the covers off, sitting up and finding Jimin closer then what Taehyung would say he was expecting.
"Tae, get dressed, we've got to go!" Jimin said, pulling at Taehyung's hands.
Taehyung didn't ask, just getting up and going straight to the closet, taking out a jacket, and a pair of jeans. He figured Jimin wouldn't wait for him to change his shirt, judging from the way Jimin was running both hands through his hair and looking more distraught then Taehyung had ever seen him.
"I'll bet you it was that b*tch. That stupid b*tch..." Jimin was mumbling.
After Taehyung was dressed, he bit his lip, watching Jimin collapse on Taehyung's bed, sitting at the edge, just staring at the floor.
"J-Jimin? What's wrong?" Taehyung asked, sitting next to him.
"Jungkook's dad called. Said he came home from work, and there was no one in the house, and his mother said she hadn't seen him since last night when he said he was sick." Jimin said, not looking up. "No one's even seen him, no one knows where he is..." It seemed obvious how scared that made Jimin, the way he was so quiet, so reserved. "Taehyung...I don't think he's okay this time..." Jimin said, covering his face with his hands, his voice barely a whisper. "I don't...I..." Jimin's voice broke.
Taehyung swallowed. He didn't know what to say. He knew Jimin would try to comfort him somehow if Taehyung broke down. But he didn't know how to go about it, Jimin had said before that he watched all his friends get picked on and fall apart, it was hard to tell if it was just this one thing, or everything.
"L-let's go find him, Jimin..." Taehyung said, putting an arm around Jimin tentatively.
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A/N:
It starts :3
My grandma said this sometimes when drama started xDD
So yep, drama is starting, and I don't think it will even sort of take a break for quite a while :3 PREPARE YOURSELFEU~!!
~Neri~