It was 1:30 am by the time Aakash and I decided to walk back into the party. People already looked drunk and wasted.
Arjun and Aakash exchanged a look after which both began the process of ending the party. People hugged Aakash, some gave him best of luck cards while others got him gifts, and at last, after about another hour; his home was completely empty apart from the four of us.
I touched the gift that I had sneaked in for Aakash that was in my purse instinctively. I really hoped he liked it.
"I think I'll head home." I declared after a while.
"Hey no! Don't go." Aakash cut suddenly.
When I looked at him questioningly he continued, "It's our last night together... like this. Please stay; all of you."
Aakash Malhotra never put forth his feelings. But today, he was being so unlike his own self; with the most romantic talk back in the balcony to openly asking us to stay; it seemed to take all of us by surprise.
We all blinked with confusion, expecting him to burst out laughing any minute. But to our utter surprise, he didn't. He looked at us with complete earnestness.
"But I have office tomorrow." I said to everyone.
"I'll drop you home early morning. Promise." Aakash said to me, revealing just how eager he was.
And I couldn't refuse to him, not when he was letting us all into his emotional and fragile self.
"You guys could borrow my tracks you know?" he offered when Disha and I decided to sleep in our respective clothes.
I didn't have to be told twice, simply needing an opportunity to get out of those jeans that looked so stunning but only felt like a design meant for disrupting the blood flow from your entire lower body.
"Okay."
No matter how huge Aakash's clothes were for me, they were loose and comfortable and I couldn't describe in words just how amazing getting out of the jeans felt.
I pulled my hair into a bun as I looked at myself in the mirror. And then, like a complete creep ran my hand through the soft piece of fabric that was his shirt. It smelled of him. Of vanilla and something else that I could only attribute to Aakash.
When realization dawned on me as to what I was doing, I found myself sigh and plonked myself on his bed.
There was this part of me that was happy. Happy to know that Aakash and I had discussed our feelings openly. That left no room for any doubt.
He and I weren't together. I was free to move on, and so was he.
I groaned; the thought making me feel uneasy in the stomach.
What the hell had I got myself into?
Urgh I shouldn't have kissed him. I shouldn't have come to the party to begin with!
Someone knocked on the door suddenly and I found myself straightening at my spot instantly.
"Come in!"
Aakash walked in with a smile plastered on his face. And as expected, he burst out laughing hysterically clutching his belly while performing the act.
"Is that how hideous I look?"
He walked up to me with a wide smile and pushed a stray chunk of hair out of my face as he explained,
"Cute; was the word I was looking for actually."
I gulped; feeling a familiar warmth spread over me at his gesture.
"Yeah yeah okay whatever."
"You look like a pineapple with the hair!" he commented as I raised my eyebrows at him glancing at the mirror.
Crap! I do look like a pineapple.
I joined the wave of laughter; mostly laughing because he looked really happy.
"Come out now." Aakash called after a while.
But his tracks were too long for me and the moment I took one step to move I tumbled down on the floor, almost hitting my face to the ground.
It all happened so quick, that we landed in a rather awkward position. Aakash's arm twirled around my waist, my palm clutching his shirt tightly which I had probably caught for support.
My gaze lingered on the wheatish tan of his skin that was on full display for me because of the intensity with which I had pulled at his shirt.
I closed my eyes, willing myself to let go and gently drew back from him.
His eyes never left mine.
"Are you okay?" Aakash asked soon after as I nodded lightly.
"You don't look okay."
I could only shrug in response.
And then suddenly, he was down on his knees.
My mind teamed with my hormones and went to places I didn't want to go. My cheeks were on fire.
Was he faking it out there? Is he apologizing for something? Is he-
My chain of thoughts was interrupted as he grabbed the hem of my trousers.
Another wave of embarrassing thoughts crossed my mind that instant, and I could feel myself redden; stiffening at the weird act.
But to my utter surprise, he folded the hem of the trousers preventing it from touching the floor-to prevent me from tumbling down of course. My smart brain obviously didn't come up with that solution.
"Thanks." I whispered as he rose after adjusting it.
When I started to make way for the door, his palm had gripped mine again. I turned to look at him questioningly.
"You're regretting the kiss aren't you?"
It came so sudden and so bold to me, I didn't seem to know how to react.
"You know this is exactly what I was avoiding. Expectations and hurt and just....just look at you. You look miserable!"
"Do you regret the kiss?" I found myself ask.
"No. But I'm also not as affected as you are."
I didn't know what to say and was yet again on my way to leave.
"Aditi please. Why are you avoiding this conversation?"
"We already had enough of it tonight didn't we?" My voice soared.
"It clearly wasn't enough. I did not kiss you to make you this miserable Aditi."
I sighed, "I know. It's not your fault. It's just me."
At this, Aakash had walked up to me, grabbing me by my shoulders,
"I can't see you like this."
"You don't believe in long distance relationships. Is that it?"
He seemed at a loss of words. "Yeah I guess."
In just a second, my mind flashed images of SENSES, Ma, Baba and before I knew it, the words were at the tip of my tongue,
"Take me with you. Not immediately. But when, things are you know...more settled..."
His hands dropped from my side.
"Is that really you Aditi? You don't sound like yourself!"
"Because I asked to go with you?"
"You're Aditi! Smart, determined, ambitious..."
I let out a small laugh.
"I'm in love with you Aakash. And I want to be with you. You can take that whatever way you want to."
"Aditi I...I..."
"-Never mind Aakash. I understand. But you can't expect me to be completely normal as to your leaving. It'll take time."
He looked like he wanted to say something, but I was out of the room before he could form his thoughts.
Taking a deep breath in, I relaxed my mind.
I'll be fine. I have to be fine.
"So you guys are cool now?" Arjun asked eying me, the moment I stepped out of the room. Two minutes later Aakash came out too, grabbed a seat next to me on the floor.
We both turned towards each other; a slight tension still evident between us and yet nodded in response.
We all were seated in Aakash's living room; Disha sat on end of the room, her back resting against a sofa with Arjun sitting next to her. Her legs were pulled up to her chest tightly as she nuzzled close to him.
I sat directly opposite the two of them, my legs sprawled before me; enjoying the comfort of wearing loose tracks while Aakash slid close next to me.
"And you guys are not dating?" he continued.
We shook our head in unison.
"And you guys are still cool?" he asked again.
While the two of us nodded; again.
"Right. Okay." He whispered almost to himself; looking quite confused. Disha smiled tiredly, shaking her head.
She obviously knew of the matters in a more detailed way than Arjun did.
"So how's the job coming Dish?" Aakash asked, steering the topic away from the two of us.
"Great. We'll leave tomorrow evening so that I can join day after."
"You took a leave?"
"Nah some company holiday tomorrow."
I looked at Arjun as this conversation continued, who looked a touch uncomfortable with the direction it was heading. I wanted to ask Aakash to shut up but clearly, he was just making conversation and there was no way to shut him up without making everything obvious.
Arjun was an amazing chef. Like really; an amazing one; no questions asked. From gourmet three course meals to baking a five tiered cake, he truly was a Master Chef. And every time he would cook something for us, it would take all my strength to not kiss his hands in reverence.
For delicious food had always been my weakness; probably why I had been gaining weight in the recent times. I digress.
But that was that, he was a good chef and nothing else. He had always been average in every other thing. Whether it be academics, looks or arts; he was a strictly average guy.
Disha; on the other hand excelled in the corporate arena. Being the daughter of two successful businessmen, she probably had it in her genes. Whatever she decided to do, she would prove to be the best. And yes, she was really, really competitive and ambitious. Sometimes I wondered, how Arjun managed to be so important to her when she was as self absorbed as I always knew her to be.
But then again, only time would tell; and I prayed with all my heart, that she proved my instincts wrong in every way.
Her parents were not happy when she chose to do a job instead of joining the family business, but Disha had always taken her own decisions and lived her life on her own terms; there was no stopping her.
Arjun's dream was his own restaurant.
He had written a three hundred paged recipe book that he dreamed of publishing one day; but that was that; one day. Currently, he was not earning in any way. Society had made the scenario such, that to have a wife who doesn't earn but cooks really well was widely accepted, but reversing the same was something people looked at with disgust. And that's what had killed Arjun's confidence in himself. We'd been careful to never bring this topic, which is why when Aakash slipped up, I was taken aback.
However thankfully, he didn't take the topic to Arjun's career and I was glad.
I had expected even Disha to be careful about this touchy topic, but as she explained in detail to Aakash about her full time and hard core corporate job, I couldn't help but see that hint of self absorption that I had always seen in her. There was that familiar and passionate twinkle in her eyes that not even Arjun could bring as she talked about her dream job animatedly; completely unaware of just how uncomfortable it was making her husband feel.
Arjun smiled still; and I could see he was proud of her and happy for her; but there was that unmistakable sadness in his eyes that filled me with guilt; though I had nothing to do with it.
I sighed, looking away.
We spent the rest of the night talking and chatting; reliving all the wonderful times we had spent together. From the first time we all met to every tiny adventure we'd had and that's how we all dozed off; talking.
**********************
"Good Morning sleepyhead." Aakash said to me as I noticed my head had fallen on his shoulder in my sleep.
With a sudden jerk I was up straight, as I ran my hands through my messed up hair.
"Morning." I said to him groggily.
"Hurry up and freshen up or you'll get late." He said, jingling the car keys in his palms.
I quickly did what was told and then splashed some water on the newlyweds' faces.
"What the-" Disha swore.
I stifled a laugh as I continued, "I gotta go okay? Take care and keep in touch."
There was a quick exchange of hugs and best wishes as we yet again; parted ways.
Aakash owned a hatchback; an i10 to be specific; which he had bought with his own earning and was quite proud of. It was a golden coloured tiny and adorable car that Aakash had so tastefully maintained.
"So she goes with you?" I asked him, touching the car seat softly.
Since Aakash was the first one in our gang to buy a car, Disha was adamant that we name it. To be honest; at a first glance, it seemed more masculine to me; so I suggested a series of male names, however Aakash interjected saying he was sure it was more appropriate as a female. And since he was the rightful owner of the i10, we agreed to the gender he chose. And the cute i10 was named Naina.
I'm not kidding you.
He gave her such a human like name.
Also, it was one of the rules in the group- she was; at all times; to be referred to as a complete human identity with her name. Calling her 'it' was as good as committing a felony.
Aakash had been so attached to her that the thought of him leaving her behind was almost revolting, which was why the question spluttered out of my mouth.
"She'll come if I plan to settle there permanently. Like I said, nothing's decided."
"I'm quite confused you know." I informed him, noticing how we had almost reached my place. Mumbai roads early in the morning are literally the best things you could ask for. But at that point in time, those last few minutes with Aakash meant the world to me and I wanted time to slow down.
"Remember the business plan I'd been working on for two years?"
I nodded, recalling him working extra hours and late nights.
"This is it. It got approved and the company sanctioned the plan. The big surprise for me was, my plans were for domestic boundaries; but they were so impressed they want me to start up the unit in the USA. I admit we have scope out there but...." he hesitated, his hand steady on the car gear, "...I'm so nervous Aditi. Presenting a plan is like a hundred times easier than implementing it. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not just responsible for planning." He sighed.
"That's because you want the limelight and you've always craved for challenges." I reassured him, reminding him what he was.
He gave me a wide smile at that; as my assurance reflected how well we knew each other; halting at the last red light; from where my house was clearly visible.
"This is harder than I thought it would be." He said, after a pause.
"Huh?"
"Saying goodbye. I love you Aditi. I love the three of you so much. You guys are family." His light brown eyes looked into mine with such love, that I fought the urge to hug him while he drove.
How stupid would it look? For all I knew, though we were on a red light, it could lead to an accident!
"Don't get me emotional Aakash. You don't want the dam to unleash itself!" I warned at which a warm guffaw engulfed the car.
His guffaw.
"Damn I missed your stupid comebacks so much."
I glared at him when he called my comebacks stupid at which he smirked playfully. And about two minutes later, he finally pulled up in front of my house with a sigh.
"You won't come up? I'm sure Ma and Pa would want to meet you a last time."
"I'll be dropping by in the afternoon. Don't worry."
I nodded in response.
He took me by surprise as he placed his palm on mine, as he continued,
"Do you think you could make it to the airport tonight?" he paused, "A final goodbye?"
I gulped nervously, weighing my options out. But what seemed so surprising was how clearly my mind answered me,
"No. I can't watch you leave Aakash. I'm sorry."
I could see how his face fell, hurt evident in the way he refused to meet my gaze and how his hold on my palm loosened; but I couldn't watch him go. Period.
"It's okay...I understand."
"I have something for you."
He looked up instantly, with a look I think it will be safe to say; that was impatient. He nodded, his gaze following my palm digging into my purse. I smiled at the childish pleasure the mere mention of a gift brought to him.
No one's too old for surprise gifts!
His eyes widened at what I produced.
"How do you have this?" he said, his eyes wide with shock.
"It's a secret. Do you like it?"
His answer was him leaning from the driver's seat engulfing me in a bear hug. I could feel his head buried in my hair, his warm breath tingling my neck as I hugged him back; grinning at the superb reaction I got.
"I love it."
Back when Disha, Aakash and I had just started working, we had planned on a small get-together for us (obviously including Arjun) with our first salary. But before the get-together; Disha and I insisted on going shopping. At that time, we could only afford street shopping and so we hopped around with joy in Causeway; feeling the weight of our wallets; a breath of independence washing over us.
As we stopped from one shop to another and studied all the things with extreme concentration, I caught Aakash looking at me several times. That was the first time I got the hint that he too had feelings on the similar lines for me; one of the reasons why I remembered the day as clearly as though it were yesterday.
Amidst the shopping, bargaining and staring, my gaze fell upon Aakash who was standing before an Armani showroom motionlessly. Disha and Arjun were busy quarrelling over something and Aakash was completely unaware that he was being watched, while I carefully studied his expression. It was admiration for a particular tie- a navy blue coloured tie with a gorgeous fabric.
That was not once, every time we crossed the showroom, his eyes would be transfixed on that one navy blue coloured tie, and honestly speaking; I could imagine how gorgeous he would look in it, with a suit; walking into a boardroom with that killer smile and confident stride.
The other day when I crossed the very showroom, I couldn't help but stop by. A wave of pride brushed over me as I realized I could now afford it.
Without a second's thought, I bought an Armani tie for Aakash; the one that meant so much to him.
At first, I thought he would scold me for such an expensive purchase, but the sheer joy his eyes showed seemed to prove otherwise. He was beyond just delighted and I was so happy that he liked it.
"Please take care of yourself Aditi." He said, after breaking the hug.
I smiled in return nodding, "and you, wear this tie on your first day. Okay?"
He grinned wide at that stating, "I was going to anyway."
And with that, I bade goodbye to nine years of friendship that day.
I stood there motionlessly, watching him drive Naina out of the gravel road as only one scary thought lingered on my mind-
We would certainly meet after a couple of years,but when we would, something terrible was going to happen.
***
A/N:
I'm really sorry for such a late update. My editor was really busy these past few days and I hate updating unedited chapters.
I have been maintaining a good stock of chapters so I assure you that updates now on will be regular.
Happy Diwali to all! :*
Do vote and comment if you liked the chapter.
~kimaaya a.k.a. Ankita