I Was, I Am.

-THE DEBACLE-

It was Mr. Ahuja's idea that we grab dinner in one of the shacks. He even paid extra for a table right in front of the waves when he thought I wasn't looking.

What was this man leading me to?

There were oil lights lighting the shacks, colourful and comfortable bamboo seats and they very kindly provided shawls to drape; I had a habit of draping something warm even at the slightest chills.

Mr. Ahuja's steady glance continued my princess moment for me. He didn't know how obvious his look was. But I could see through it, because it reminded me of something I'd experienced before; it was the way Aakash would look at me. He would always make me feel beautiful.

"What should we order?" I asked, suddenly uncomfortable of the familiar emotions he stirred within me.

How could I compare him to Aakash? The Aakash I'd know for nine years? The Aakash I was in love with?

This is all terribly wrong.

I can't lead him on.

"The delicacy, maybe?" his tone was a suggestion.

I gulped; he had definitely changed. He was leaving room for my views; that was so unlike him.

"As you wish." I replied, choosing my words carefully.

"What? No Ms. Anand; if there's something else you want to try you can go ahead."

"I'll try the delicacy, Sir."

I watched silently as he placed our orders. It was weird how he radiated confidence every moment except when we were alone. Though the waiter named a bunch of obscure sounding dishes, and he himself hadn't heard of most; he inquired the details without a hint of embarrassment. Rather, the waiter seemed to fumble in his aura.

"Ms. Anand?" his voice snapped me from my reverie.

I looked up at him, waiting for him to continue.

"-I...I've been wanting to ask you something for a while-"he paused; I nodded my head asking him to continue, "-it's a little personal."

I straightened in my seat; noticing his expression turn grave.

"Are you and Mihir together?"

I sighed involuntarily, circling my fingers around my glass of water and taking a big gulp from it.

"No." My reply came out curtly.

He obviously wanted to hear more, but I didn't know what else to tell him; especially when I saw the stress lines on his forehead disappear at my declaration.

"Why do you ask, Sir?" I found myself asking.

It was his turn to sigh.

"You do realize that the whole office has seen how you both are not on talking terms for a while right?"

I looked away at that.

"And as your boss, it is my responsibility to ensure that our working environment is not affected by inter office personal conflicts."

Something in the way he said this made it seem as though he was hiding the other half reason behind his question.

"-it won't, Sir."

"I'm afraid it already has, Ms. Anand. Mihir is performing fine I admit, but his work is not his best. And though you seem to be way more professional than him; I have a feeling your productivity can be many times what it is now if your mind is off Mihir."

And how was I supposed to answer that?

The waiter arrived that instant thankfully, serving us our Goan fish curry with rice. I had barely pushed a morsel of rice into my mouth when I felt this weird sensation of choking. I hadn't realized how hungry I had been; in a fit of hunger and nervousness; I'd chewed the food way too fast; and it ended up entering my wind pipe.