I stride through the Hogwarts corridors, my fists clenched hard and tears prickling my eyes. The big, majestic windows let through tonight's moonlight. I start to realize it is quite chilly so I tug my jumper closer and rub my shoulders constantly. I think the anger rushing through me is enough to stop the cold. I stomp, turning at every corner. The candles, glistening in the halls, light up the big and small portraits hanging from the castle walls. I see people smiling in them, people laughing. I see people who seem to have forgotten all their problems and most of all, I see people wearing genuine smiles. 'Wow', I think to myself, 'it's been a long time since I've smiled for real.'
I keep walking down the corridors and then I stop suddenly, in front of this beautiful, old mirror. It's very big and the wooden frame around makes it seem just like another old painting. I touch the frame slightly and then stare at myself in the reflection. My cheeks are red, probably from the cold, the anger, the holding back of my tears... I look at myself again. I just see a girl. A fragile, young woman whose hair is all messy. But most of all, I notice her eyes: wet with tears that are desperate to pour down. Her eyes reveal the pain she is feeling. They say eyes are the reflection of the soul... who knows what people see in them? Who knows if anyone understands the suffering of the body?
I stare at the mirror. It has a crack in the corner and the candles, right next to this corner, cover this crack. You will only see this crack if you move the candles that block the way. They won't let you see what the mirror is really like. They won't show you the mirror's flaws and its imperfections. Maybe it is better that way. Maybe people wouldn't stop to look at themselves in the mirror if it revealed all its cracks... I suddenly understand. The mirror is like me: I fake to be alright just so others won't leave because as soon as you start having problems, that is when people start leaving.
I clench my fists again and then start walking down the corridors once more. I came here to do something, and this is something that must be done without thinking. If I start asking myself questions, I won't do it. I close my eyes and run.
I see him. This is the something I came to do. I run towards him and his eyes meet mine. His hair is all to the side and his eyes are red, they clearly show he's cried. I let myself go there and then. Who cares? No one will see me. Draco puts his arms around me and soon enough we're in a long embrace. His lips on my forehead and he places a kiss on it. I burst out crying and all I think is 'Why?' After what seems like ages, he collects my chin and brings my eyes face to face with his. "I love you Hermione." I stare at his green eyes. They sparkle and the moonlight reflects his pale face. "I love you too Draco." He slowly moves towards me and his lips touch mine. He holds me closer and kisses me. He places his hands on my cheeks and brings me closer. His head tilts and the blood through me becomes warmer. In that moment, I'm no longer cold nor am I angry. I wish this kiss would last forever. He then pulls back and smirks. It is not a happy smirk, it is a smirk that much rather says 'Life sucks but I love you.' Before I can say anything, he states "I – uh - don't want it to be over..." His forehead creases and his eyes start slightly watering. "You were the only thing that went right in my life, Hermione. I love you and will always do. It's us against the world, Hermione. I'm sorry – I..." He starts crying. Not him. Oh gosh, not him.
He embraces me and hugs me tight. In that moment, I knew we were forever, even if not together.
***
This is the end of the story of Draco and I. This is the end of a complex love story. Nobody has ever known it, which is why I thought I might finally tell someone about it. Ever since the last moment I have written about, after all these years, I saw Draco only a couple of other times. From afar. All I got was a wave and a condescending nod. I knew that was enough, that was all I was going to get and to be honest, to me that was enough. Draco was everything to me and despite everything, I still love him now. Can you keep a secret? I'm married and have children but that does not stop me from keeping a special place in my heart for him and all that he has given me. Don't give up who and what you love just because holding them close seems impossible. Only the things that are really worth it will be hard to keep. Don't make the same mistake I did. I lost mine, keep yours close.
Hermione