Adoring
Chapter 6
After the incident, school became my own personal hell. I lived and breathed judgment and rumors. One day after I overheard a particularly harsh accusation against my family, I needed to get away from everyone. There was no way I was going to be able to get off school campus without being caught but the bathroom made me too obvious. That's when I decided to go exploring.
It was during my lunch period so it wasn’t like any teachers would come looking for me so I just started wandering the halls, looking for a secret place. Finally after like ten minutes of walking up and down halls that everyone uses, I had an epiphany. If there was a secret compartment hidden in the school, it would be somewhere that not a lot of people go.
I took the next hallway that led to the boiler room wing, where no one ever went because it smelled like stale bologna and cheese sandwiches and sweat. But I was so upset I was willing to brave the smell for somewhere alone. Pretty soon, I found exactly what I was looking for. I found a small alcove tucked in the side of a bunch of deserted locked off classrooms that no one ever used anymore. I sat in the alcove and curled my knees to my chest and cried. No one came, no one made fun of me, there was silence, I was completely alone and completely fine with that. Then my phone rang and Nate’s face popped up on my front screen. This was after I had regularly started eating lunch with him and the boys.
“String Bean where you at? JP wanted to show you a new magic trick he found online. Honestly though, its not very good.” he said, JP screeched in the background and I knew I was on speaker. I didn't say anything for fear that I would start crying on speaker phone with a bunch of high school boys and that just wasn't appropriate.
“Tess you there?” Nate said again, more serious this time. I let out a small squeak followed by a yeah. “Okay hang on. Ill be back guys.” I could hear him standing up from the picnic table in the outside quad and his shoes crunch on the leaves as he walked away. “Whats up Bean?”
“I can't take it anymore.” I knew I was safe to cry now and I couldn't stop.
“Where are you right now? I'm coming to you.” he didn't even try and ask me what was wrong. I gave him step by step instructions on how to get to my secret location.
The instant he stepped into the alcove his nose was wrinkled. “It smells like shit.” he slid down the wall and shifted his arm around my shoulders, pulling me towards him. I instantly felt better. From that day on we decided that whenever we needed to have a serious talk, we would come here.
*****
Nate pulls his hand through his hair for the millionth time in the past two minutes. He always does this when he knows we have to talk about emotional stuff and there’s potential I'll cry. Neither of us have said anything. Just sat in the alcove looking at each other. Finally he breaks the silence.
“Truth or dare” he winks like his winking will make me feel better. It doesn’t.
“Dare.” I say and he chokes on the sip of water he was taking.
“Jesus, you really don't want to talk about last night. I dare you to tell me what happened last night.” he smirks. Fuck I've been double crossed. I glare at him. “Stare at me all you want String Bean but you know you can't ruin your list of perfect no chickens.” man hes really thought this one through.
“Fine.” I cross my arms over my chest and wriggle a little from his hold. He waits. “Char is dropping out of school and staying home. Mom and I just got in a fight over that. No big deal.” I make my face as serious as I can, trying to stay mad at him, and hold back tears. My life has fallen apart because of my idiotic selfish father.
“Tessy. That's kind of a big deal.” he scoots closer, I scoot further. “You can pretend it doesn't bother you but it does. Why else would you run away for three hours.”
“I did not run away!”
He throws his hands up in defeat. “Okay okay!” I sigh. “but seriously, gimme all the dirty deets on your night with Eli.” he boosts his voice up a couple octaves and tries to sound like a girl. I'm still mad at him though, or else that'd be funny. I say nothing. “Tessa fucking Scott. Do I need to tickle you to make you like me again or can we do this the easy way.”
“Until you decide to look like Liam Hemsworth or maybe be a little nicer, I will be mad at you.” I turn a little bit away from him, just to torture him.
“C'mon Tessy. You know I just do what I do because I love you.” he decides to take the time to clobber me and tickle me to death for a good ten minutes. I'm suffocating from laughing so hard practically.
“Okay! Fine! I--” I struggle to catch my breath again and my stomach hurts from laughing “I forgive you now stop!” as soon as I say it his hands are up in surrender.
“Very good. Now. Who's you’re favorite guy on the swim team?”
“Christian...” I say and then cringe because he comes after me again, tickling me until I say its him.
“For a second I thought you were gonna say Eli.” he smirks and I hit his shoulder. “Seriously though, what did you guys do at his house until 10:30 last night?” he asks. So I give him all the details of what we talked about and how he walked me up to the door and how he gave me his sweatshirt.
“Well String Bean, looks like you got yourself a little fling!” I blush and then stand up.
“Speaking of which,” I pull his hands to make him stand. “Third is ending in like two minutes. We gotta go.”
*****
“Just couldn't stay away, I see.” Christian slides down on the bench and winks at me. I'm at the boys swim practice again because I don't want to go home. The past few days at home have been really strained and tense. Char just stays locked up in her room but whenever Mom and I are in a room together you can practically feel the tension floating in the air. Just hanging there like a gray cloud that doesn't want to rain. I got out of the house the day after the fight because Nate had a meet and I went and just stayed over at his house but yesterday was a tough night.
“That's exactly it. I just couldn't wait another day to see your face.” I scrunch up my face and nod at Christian. Eli walks by and laughs at me.
“Tess you look like Lucy when she's hungry and no one is feeding her.” he says. I blush and unscrunch my face. For some reason I swell with pride, knowing that I'm one of the only people in Westwood that know about his life outside swim and school.
“That's exactly what I am, a hungry baby.” I say right as Nate comes out of the locker room.
“Finally!” he puts his arms towards the sky. “She says something useful!” I glare at him. “Shit you mad? We need a repeat of third period?” he whispers. I shake my head furiously and curl my knees to my chest so my stomach is protected. He just laughs and walks towards the towel rack to grab one and tossing it to me.
“Hey, you guys wanna get pizza after practice?” Eli asks Nate and I. We both nod and coach comes out and makes them swim drills. After practically two hours straight of swimming, they all come out of the water looking like death. I throw Nate his towel and he plops down next to me, not even bothering to dry off.
Pizza at Mario's is really quiet because both Nate and Eli are exhausted from practice and JP is distracted by his failing math grade. We munch on fries but really none of the boys want to be there. I can see it. Especially Nate. I think he'd rather be home trying to get out of visiting his mom next weekend.
“Nate can you take me home?” I ask. “I need to talk to Char about something.” I add so he knows it's an excuse. I don't think Charlotte actually talks.
“Yeah sure” he nods and then goes to stand. JP walks away staring aimlessly at the ground and not even saying good bye. Strange.
“I can take you home Tess. Its not like we live far away.” Eli says and winks. Nate just nods. I feel bad because this whole thing with his mom is so hard on him right now.
“Sure.” I tell Eli. “I'll call you later Weber.” I poke his back and he blows me a fake kiss, which I catch and throw on the ground and stomp on. We started that in like fourth grade. Eli looks at us like were crazy.
“Thanks Eli.” Nate says, “And I'll talk to you later Tessy.” he climbs in his Toyota and drives away. Eli watches me and then helps me into his old blue pick up truck.
“Is he gonna be okay?” he asks once were on the road.
I nod. “Hes just going through some stuff. He'll be fine.”
“You guys are seriously know each other better than like anyone else.” Yeah, I think to myself, better than I know my own sister. But I don't say it because he doesn't need to hear about my family shit.
“I don't even notice it anymore.” I say. He nods still staring at the road ahead. I watch his profile. His nose is the perfect curvature and there's a little spot on his cheek where the dimple is when he smiles. There's little worry creases in his forehead and crinkles in the corner of his eyes. His blondish hair hung limp from swim but still manages to look hot. I need to stop.
“Hey do you mind if I stop at my house before I drop you off? I really should help mom get the kids to bed?” he looks at me like hes so so sorry and I just laugh.
“Gladly. I'm excited to meet these little kids.” I smile at him and he smiles back with that damn dimple. He pulls into the driveway and walks me up to his house again, just like last time. I'm kind of nervous to meet the little kids. I have no idea why.
“I'm warning you right now. They get really excited to have new people come to the house. So be prepared.” he chuckles and then opens the door and calls to his mom to let her know hes here. All of a sudden its like a tornado of tiny little people come rushing at him. At first they run up to Eli and hug his legs and then they notice me.
“Lee, who's dis?” One of the little girls asks pulling on his pant leg. I'm guessing shes either Sophia or Grace but I don't know which one. She has wispy blonde hair and eyes the color of Eli's.
“C'mon little ones. Lets go to the living room and I'll introduce you guys.” Eli starts to herd them through the thresh hold to the living room as I hang up my coat and take off my boots. Then I follow him to the living room.
“Okay.” Eli says to them, all lined up on the couch. They are frickin adorable. All of them are blondish and have huge eyes. Eli walks into the kitchen for a second, leaving me alone with the herd of four and then comes back holding baby Lucy. She has a bald little head and brown eyes the size of Texas. She clings to Eli and smiles while he talks to her. Its probably one of the cutest things I've ever seen.
“Is you Lee's new girlfriend?” the littlest boy, Hunter I believe, asks. He looks like a mini version of Eli. I don't know what to say so I just sit on the coffee table next to where Eli is sitting in front of them holding Lucy.
“Guys, this is Tess. She's my friend from school. Can you guys say hi?” his voice with them is calming and quiet.
“Are you two gonna get married like Mommy and Daddy were?” the little girl from before asks. Eli ignores her.
“Tess this is Aiden.” he points to the oldest one, sitting far away from the rest of the kids like he's too good for them. His hair is bleach blonde and seems to always be falling in his brown eyes.
“Hi Tess.” Aiden smiles at me and then turns his attention to his little hand held gameboy. Eli looks at me and rolls his eyes.
“This is Sophia,” he points to the little girl with so many questions. She has the same eyes as Eli and is just as blonde as Aiden. “And Gracie.” the other twin looks the same as Sophia only smaller. “Sophia, will you say hi to Tess?”
“Lee is my favorite brother because...because he lets me be the princess.” She looks up at me through mile long lashes and I smile.
“Soph, I don't think Tess needs to hear about your princess problems.”
“Oh its completely fine. Trust me Sophia, I understand. Being a princess is really hard work.” I say, she shakes her head furiously yes and then looks at Grace.
“Gracie never wants to play with me. All she wants to do is play dress up.” she pouts.
“Okay Soph. How about you go upstairs and find your PJ's and ill be up in a sec to help you change.” Eli picks her up with his free arm and sets her on the floor and watches her run up the stairs. He looks at Grace. “Gracie, can you say hi to Tess?” she looks at me and then him and then at the floor.
“You're very pretty.” she says then she stands up and runs after her sister. Eli looks at me with his mouth half open.
“Holy crap. Gracie has never spoken to anyone outside of our family. You're the first.” He just looks at me and I squirm until he glances up the stairs again. Butterflies flutter in my stomach. “Okay moving on. This is Hunter. Say hi buddy.”
Hunter just stares at me and then back at Aiden's gameboy, completely ignoring Eli. I giggle.
“Whatever.” Eli mutters. “and finally, this is baby Lucy. Say hi Luce.” The little baby smiles and reaches for me. I hesitate but then take her from Eli's arms. Shes squirmy at first but then settles happily in my arms. Eli stands up, trusting me with his favorite sibling, and convinces Hunter and Aiden to go upstairs. He calls to his mom in the kitchen that they’re all ready for changing and then starts up the stairs. I follow cautiously with Lucy in my arms. I'm pretty sure shes asleep.
I trail behind Eli into a room with pink walls and two twin sized canopy beds. I'm guessing this is Sophia and Grace's room. He squats down on the floor and helps both of the little girls into their princess nightgowns. I stand watching from the doorway, still rocking baby Lucy in my arms. When he's finished changing them he puts them both into their little beds, kissing them both on the cheek and pulling the covers up to their little chins.
“Mommy will be in to give you a kiss in a sec. Love you kiddos.” he stands in the door way next to me and dims the light to their room. A second later Mrs. Blake walks in. She looks at me with surprise in her eyes and then kisses both girls on the forehead and flicks the light off all the way. I stand in the hallway, my left arm falling asleep under the weight of baby Lucy.
“Wow.” Mrs Blake says. She reminds me of how my own mom used to be. Happy and loving but stern too. Her eyes are the color of Eli's and her cheeks are rosy and happy. She has blonde hair just like all of her kids but hers is thinning and turning gray at the roots. Mrs. Blake knows how to love. “You're a natural! No one can come in here and just make Lucy fall asleep! I should hire you or something.” She winks.
“You think that's amazing, Gracie actually talked to her Mom. This is monumental.” Eli takes baby Lucy out of my limp arms and she barely stirs. He brings her into a nursery, with yellow walls and pink polka dotted betting in the dark cherry wood crib. The baby doesn't even move when he sets her down.
“Well thank you very much Tess, for helping to get the kids to bed and for making Gracie talk.” Mrs Blake smiles at me and disappears down the stairs and into the kitchen. Eli looks at me.
“I can take you home now if you want.” he says “You’re probably exhausted now.”
“It was actually fun. Your siblings are adorable. I can see why Lucy is your favorite.” I smile.
“Hey! Who said I have favorites!” he winks and then leads me down the stairs. He helps me put my jacket on and opens both the front door and the car door for me, he also walks me to the front door.
“Thanks again Tess. Putting them to bed has seriously never been easier.” He stands with his hands in his pockets on my front porch. Even in the dark his eyes shine.
“It was fun. Thanks for driving me home. Ill see you tomorrow?” he nods and I open the door into the house, once again not letting anyone ruin my happy buzz.
*****
When I call Nate I can instantly tell he's had a rough night. just the way his voice lacks a certain confidence. I feel bad. Like I should be able to help him. But I really can't. I mean the issue is really out of control.
"I don't want to go over there Tess." he finally admits that something's wrong after half an hour of me pushing.
"Did you talk to your dad? Terry?" I wish I could be having this conversation with him in person.
"Yeah but neither of them know...the whole issue.."he refuses to say it, to admit the problem, I know what he means and how he feels. "so they just say I need to suck it up and go one weekend just to appease her and the courts." suddenly I get an idea.
"Okay wait. Don't do anything drastic yet. I'll be over in five minutes." I say, throwing on my fleece and opening my bedroom door. I don't need to bother with other clothes or stuff because I have stuff at his house.
"How?" he asks referring to my lack of car.
"Don't worry about it. And don't say anything about how I shouldn't drive so late. Just shut up and clean up your bedroom floor. I'll be over." and then I hang up and scribble a note to Char on a piece of paper with little ladybugs at the top. I slip the note that asks to borrow her car under her door and wait for the reply. We used to talk through notes under our doors when we were little, spending hours writing ridiculous things back and forth. Her response actually surprises me and "sure whatever" is scribbled messily underneath my neat print. I write a thanks and slip it under again and leave, not waiting for the reply.
I sprint into my moms room. "Mom Nate needs me I'm borrowing Char's car and going over there for the night bye love you." and then I run away and down the stairs as fast as I can so that she can't catch me and tell me no. I slide behind the wheel of Char's beat up 07 red Honda and speed the five minutes to Nate's.
From the driveway I can see him siting at the dinning room table, with his head resting in his hands and a physics book in front of him. The light from Terry and Jon's room is off, indicating they've gone to bed and that Nate is the only one up. I sneak in the front door, being as quiet as I can, and come up behind where he's sitting at the small white table.
I try to creep up behind him but he laughs because he knows I'm there. I'm the worst at sneaking. "Tess. Why are you here." he doesn't turn around to look at me so I pull up a chair across the table. "I wasn't gonna let you wallow in self pity by yourself dumbass!" he snickers and shuts the book in front of him, finally looking at me.
"Seriously though." I start. "you look like you got but by a truck." his blue eyes are dull with sadness and his lips look like they've never smiled before.
"Thanks best friend. You look nice tonight too!" he says , his voice dripping in sarcasm. I roll my eyes.
"I actually just didn't want you to be sad and alone. that's the worst combination. Now come on. I'm tired." I stand and grab his hand and pull on him until he gives in and follows me down the hall to his bed room.
That night Nate spills his guts to me. He cries for the first time since elementary school and tells me everything he's been keeping inside lately. Most of the time I have no idea what to say so I just play with his curls and listen, it's the only thing left for me to do.
Finally at one am he's done being upset. He's decided that he isn't going to let this control him. He gets up and changes into sweat pants and sheds his shirt, exposing his chiseled chest that most girls swoon over. He climbs into his bed next to where I've been laying the past two hours curling his arm around me.
"I don't know what Id do without you Tessy." he says and then not even ten minutes later he's asleep with his arm crossed behind my neck and his face turned away from mine.
I on the other hand, have the hardest time falling asleep. I can't stop thinking about the crazy night I've had between Eli and Nate. I cant stop remembering baby Lucy falling asleep in my arms or Eli's face when grace talked to me. I cant stop feeling bad for Nate. wanting to fix all his problems . To make him happy the way he makes me feel better. I think about all this for hours until finally my brain realizes its 3 in the morning and decides to give up and cave in to sleep.