I conviced Tara to not bring the baby up until tomorrow. I needed a day to cope. We agreed that it would be best that she move in to keep an eye on me. Despite where I was now, I couldn't wait to have her move in which would be around 8 tonight.
I pulled my car into the parking lot and took a deep breath. This was my first time being back to the graveyard since his burial and I could already feel my heart pounding. I stepped out and walked past all the tombstones and crosses until I reached the one where Tyler was burried. By his stone was an American flag and flowers.
"Tyler Johnson
1993-2015
A Loved & Remembered Son, Lover, and Warrior."
I put my roses down on his grave and took a seat facing his stone.
"Hi baby." I said caressing the rough rock. "I'm pregnant." I sniffed and wiped away the tears on my face. " We had this life planned out remember. You and I with 3 kids, and you wanted the 2 boys and I the 2 girls. Well we have one on the way. I'm not sure what it is, but it's only ours for 6 more months. I'm giving her or him up for adoption. I wish I didn't have to, but I can't have this baby alone Tyler. I miss you, so much and I know I'm disappointing you and I'm sorry. I just, I don't know how I could to do this." I could barely control myself and soon started choking on my sobs. I reached into my bag and took out the picture and tape. After taping it do the stone I backed up and looked.
The sonogram showed me and Tyler's baby with the words "And Father" across the top. I hugged myself and smirked, tears still rolling down my cheeks.
I missed Tyler and right now, I needed him more than ever.
But I knew, I'd never have him again.