Three weeks. It had been three weeks since Nash had been shot. I had not talked to him once, but my father did confirm that he was still alive. I felt like the worst person alive.
I had not visited him, not called him, not so much as sent him a get well card. I was scum.
I was scum and I was rotting away. My news reports had grown stale and hollow, my articles had faltered and I could not even find the strength to write them.
If I wasn't at work representing a zombie on screen I was in bed staring at the ceiling. Alessio was out of town. He'd left Simone in charge of me.
Simone was great company. He hardly ever spoke to me which is exactly what I needed at this point in time. He and Silvano sat in the kitchen at almost all hours playing some sort of card game between the two of them.
I'd made a collective decision to take a bit of vacation time from work and stayed holed up in my room for an entire week rotting away.
My cell phone rang. I grumbled and looked at it. The time said it was mid-afternoon and the caller ID told me it was Alessio.
I hadn't seen Alessio in two weeks. He'd basically let me alone while I sulked for the first week, after that he and Pietro had had important business to take care of, creating a new location I suppose, probably a new casino. The thought made me sick to my stomach.
I ignored the phone call and finally pulled myself out of bed. Alessio was out of town. Nash was sitting at home. I couldn't see either, didn't want any company, but the idea of staying in this bed and thinking of the way Nash had cried out when they'd moved him, the way his voice shook when he tried to speak to me, how had he come to know the last rite word for word anyway? I had no clue Nash was even religious.
I had to get out. I stopped in the kitchen to where Silvano and Simone were playing and smoking cigars.
"I think I'm going to go out." I said in a small voice that somehow grabbed both of their attention
Simone stood. "I'll drive you."
"I'd like to be alone."
They exchanged nervous glances.
"Alessio doesn't want me alone, does he?"
"Well..." Silvano started. "Do you remember the night in the casino? How he said I didn't want to know what he'd do if I...well, you know?" I nodded. "He told me what he'd do." He said with a shaky voice.
I rolled my eyes. "Silvano he's not going to do anything. I'm just going to Stacey's for a little bit. I'll have my phone with me, be in my car. I know both have a GPS in it."
"Well..." Simone said doubtfully.
"I need to get out. I need to see a friendly face. I'm sure you guys are awfully bored here too."
"Oh no Kate, we're fine." Simone said quickly.
"One, I don't believe that. And two, I'm not fine. I'm going out."
I drove to Stacey's house first. She wasn't home, which I knew. I took the key from under the flower pot and slipped into her house where I set my phone on her kitchen counter and left. From here I just walked.
I had no idea where I was walking, not until I saw the bridge that is.
Tears flooded my eyes. What had I done with my life? What would my father say if he knew who I was with? He knew who Alessio was.
Even if I wanted to I would never be able to bring Alessio to dinner on Sundays, never be able to have my father walk me down the aisle if Alessio was the one standing at the end of it.
I found my way onto the bridge and looked down at the water. It was getting dark and the water looked black in this lighting. I hesitated for a moment before pulling myself onto the ledge. I swayed a bit and grabbed the pillar beside me. It was difficult to see through tear blurred eyes. I tried to blink them away.
Nash nearly died. Because of Alessio. And I'd still spent the last three weeks in his bed. I stared down at the water and finally reached around the side of the pillar, reaching for the ladder to keep me up.
I needed this. That moment I had had with Alessio. When I looked at the city and suddenly everything seemed so miniscule. All of our problems, everything made sense. It was the moment I stopped being angry, the moment that I realized everything wasn't a made up masterpiece in my mind. In that moment I knew there was something very real with Alessio and I.
And look where it got me. Where it got Nash.
I reached for the ladder desperately. I needed that moment of clarity, needed it now more than ever.
I was suddenly pulled in a different direction, I tried to grip the pillar, to catch balance before I fell from the bridge and to my death but my left foot stayed in the air as I tried to catch my balance and moments later my right foot slipped as well. Suddenly, I was falling.
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OKAY GUYS I know this is a short chapter. Please DON'T complain about the length of it, I know. Seriously. Don't complain you got three chapters last week, and I promised when I started the trilogy that if I posted a chapter with under 1500 words I'd post a second update that week. So if you want your second update I suggest you not complain about the update length! ;P
Look out for a second update sayyy, Thursday, Friday at the latest.
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