PLEASE BE ACTIVE ON THIS CHAPTER!!!! i didnt think i was going to update so please give me feeback or correct my grammar lol there might be a few mistakes cus i did this quickly but yeah PLEASE BE ACTIVE
The past few weeks had been something alright. They went by slow, but at the same time quicker than I expected. So much was going on, but I am happy.
I moved out of Oli's house and finally found an apartment. I'd be lying if I said it didn't bum me out leaving his home. Oli is a good friend and I miss seeing him everyday. We meet up from time to time but not too often. He's going on tour soon though, so I won't see him for a very long time.
If I compare my apartment to Oli's home, his wins by far. I mean, my apartment isn't too bad but it isn't the best. It's smaller than the one I had back home, and a little beat up. I could fix that though. It wasn't deep in the city because that shit is expensive, but it's not too far either. The only perks about this place is that there is a public gym and pool. That would suffice for now I guess.
The long distance relationship was in full sail, and if I had to describe the experience, I would say its completely, utterly filled with misery. I don't know how other couples do it when it comes to being apart for much longer. I mean, I was fine most of the time, but there were times when I just felt so blue about the whole ordeal. I wanted him so bad to hold me in his warm embrace, but he was far away. The first two weeks weren't that hard to deal with because I knew he was in New York on business, but now he's back in San Diego and has been there for the past week. Even still, he's been busy and so have I. Our schedules just keep colliding.
While he was in New York, we face timed or skyped for a little less than an hour most days. Sometimes it was just twenty or thirty minutes, but I was just glad I had the chance to see him smile and speak. Now that he's back in San Diego we can speak a little more which is a relief.
I like to think that Vic is doing okay with this all, but I could see right through him. He always complained about it while I just tried to not think about it. Sometimes, he'd even get angry. Not at me necessarily, but at the situation. I'd have to calm him down and eventually with some talk, the rage would vanish. The other day he was so close to just not show up to his meeting to come over here. I told him that he couldn't do that because after all, he is the one in charge of the company and has to live up fully to the President's duties. Vic is just a person that absolutely needs the physicality of a relationship. Not in a sexual way, but just to be with your partner. Although maybe it's a little bit of both, but overall he just does not do long distance. I don't either but it's the only option.
Man, if it's tough right now with it just being a month, how is it going to be when I'm doing my shows? They're not just in Los Angels, or California for that matter. I'll be going to some major cities in America so who knows how long we'll be separated for. Fuck, I don't even want to think about it but how can I not?
I shook my head, trying to get rid of the thoughts and focused on what I was really excited about. Our first show is this weekend. After all the countless practices and hours of preparing, it was finally here. I was excited and nervous, just how I felt before I went on stage for the first time at the club. My stomach already had butterflies and it wasn't even the day yet.
My parents were coming to the show. They didn't have to but they insisted on seeing me perform on a stage in front of hundreds of people. This was such a big thing for me, a big step up in my career. I mean, people were paying to see the show. I'm not the main person of the show, but I'm not an extra that stays in the back. No one ever starts at the top though. You have to slowly, gradually make your way up there.
Justin was coming too. I haven't seen him since the move so I was more than eager to see him again. My best friend of four years. I really miss him and I wish I could see him from time to time along with the other guys. I told him everything and reassured him that I had not found another best friend. I couldn't even imagine it. Justin was one of a kind, no one could replace him. Oli and I might be close, but he'll never be Justin.
He's told me that the club is still running smoothly like always, except that there's new dancers. Whenever I go back to San Diego, I definitely need to go check it out. That place is in my heart. It's what helped me through, well, life. And it's also where I met the love of my life. It still amuses me how it all happened. Justin having explosive diarrhea and needing me to sub for him. Best decision of his life, and when I say that I mean best decision on him eating that burrito that was the cause of the diarrhea.
If it wasn't for that, who knows where I'd be. Things really do happen for a reason, huh?
-
I quickly met up with my family at their hotel on the day of the show. I couldn't stay long because I had to go to the theater really early but I wanted to see them and give them the tickets.
"Last time we saw you, you had graduated and now look at you, Son." My dad said, and hugged me.
"We are so excited to see you perform. You're going to do great, sweetie." My mom said and took a turn on the hug Kellin train.
"Thanks, guys. I'm so nervous though. There's going to be so many people there. What if I fall and completely face-plant?"
"You probably will, and I'll have it recorded." My brother said, showing me his camera.
"Do not talk to your brother that way." My mom said sternly but he just laughed. "Don't listen to him, you'll do great."
"Thanks, I hope." I said and tried to calm my buzzing nerves. "Oh, by the way, Vic is going to be there."
"I'm really glad you guys worked everything out." My mom said with a smile.
"Yeah me too. I guess you guys can officially meet him now." I said with a laugh.
We talked a bit more and how after the show we would all go eat. I was excited and I know my face showed that. Unfortunately, I had to leave to the theater so I said my goodbyes and left the hotel.
It was nice and a little calming to have been able to see my family before the show. Although, as much as I would've liked I couldn't meet up with Vic or Justin. They were arriving later so I wouldn't get the chance to see them until afterwards.
-
Everything was a crazy, hectic mess. People were running around, fixing props and costumes, and making sure everything was to plan. Everyone was already dressed up and we were all just counting down the minutes until it was time. It reminded me of how it would be every night at the club. Except this was ten times more crazy.
I looked at myself in the mirror and took in my appearance. In all honesty, I really miss the very much revealing, sexy costumes I used to wear back at the club. Here I was almost completely covered with a very tight, black fitting body suit. That's basically how all the guys were dressed up, while the girls wore more loose fitting clothing. I was wearing makeup too, but not too much to notice such a drastic change in my features.
I was so happy because I'm able to wear the necklace Vic had given me. I haven't taken it off since that day and I absolutely love it. We aren't supposed to wear jewelry but it's so thin that you can barely tell that I have it on under my costume.
I love the feeling of it and in some sense, I feel more confident with it because I feel like Vic is there with me. Or at least a part of him is with me. You could say it's my good luck charm.
Speaking of Vic, I didn't know if he was in the theater or anything. He didn't text me or call to notify me that he was here. Justin did, but not Vic. It kind of worried me but I'm just thinking too much.
Once it was almost time, everyone in the production gathered around. The director spoke, which encouraged us to do our best even more. The excitement around the room was so thick, that I was shaking in the inside. Then, before we knew it, the show began.
There's really no words to describe how I felt when I was on stage in front of all the people. I moved with everyone just as practiced and nailed every move I needed to do. I have never felt so alive before in my life. The same sensation I got when I danced at the club was multiplied by one hundred. Everyone moved to perfection, and I feel like no one expected the outcome to be so perfect because this was the first time in front of a full audience, but at the same time we had rehearsed so much. We deserved this.
The singers sung every note, their voices echoing in the theater. Us dancers moved in representation to the story and the orchestra produced such melodic, emotional sounds. God, I was in love with it.
I was able to spot my family for just a second. When I saw them I tried my hardest not to smile and stay in character. There was no luck in spotting anyone else because there was just so many people here. It was incredible. I felt invincible everytime I moved across the stage, and my heart thumped loudly and rapidly.
In the end though, I couldn't help but think that the cheer the crowd produced was the most beautiful sound in the world. They had loved it, or at least really liked it to have the enthusiasm that high. That's when my smile was at its widest. I felt like I was floating on cloud nine.
Eventually we all bowed down after, and then just like that it was done. We all cheered together backstage, and champagne bottles were opened.
"Everyone did fantastic!" The director said loudly and I pictured Randy saying the same thing. Everyone applauded and huddled together. We were sweaty and could feel the adrenaline rush through our veins.
I was on top of the world, or at least my world. Every single thing is perfect and I couldn't be more grateful for everything I had. Man, I'm so goddamn lucky.
*
I REALLY DIDN'T THINK i WAS GOING TO UPDATE but I stopped working on my project and wrote this so WHOOO. Next week is gonna be crazy but hey, at least I updated twice!!
There's more to this chapter of course, so that's why it stops here. Part 2 will hopefully be posted as soon as possible. I'll try to make room for it somehow.
Sorry I wasn't that descriptive when it came to the show. I just did this in a rush so I couldnt.
But yeah, thoughts???
Thanks for reading lovely people <3