At the start of senior year Stiles had looked at universities in California, close enough to come home to his dad but far enough away to ensure at least a little autonomy. He looked at the courses offered knowing he needed to pick things that would interest him or he'd be screwed. He had done amazingly on the SATs, though when he bragged about it Derek had growled long, low and loud. Still obviously a tender subject even though Stiles had been very careful ever since to take the medication with care. Stiles had his heart set on Berkeley, three hour drive offering journalism and folklore – since his life was werewolves and they captivated him then integrating it in the studies would make it easier to focus. Plus, Stiles knew himself well enough to know that he loved unravelling things. He would need to go and see if they ended up being for him but it was a place to start. He would only be able to go if he could get a scholarship, his grades were there but who knew. His teachers probably didn't have great things to say about him. So he had a list of backups. While he was in the zone he had written his admissions letters and saved them. The greatest trick in his fight against his own brain was to do things the second he was focussed on them and never, ever leave things until later.
Months passed and the actual process of writing and sending applications began so he pulled them out, checked them and sent them all off.
Derek had decided to train him, teach him how to defend himself since the house was finally finished, mostly Lydia decoration free, and training was changing among the werewolves so all that was left was to really get into trying to train the untrainable. As soon as the pack formed Derek instigated training sessions and Stiles was included. For about two weeks. He was included only until it was made obvious that he was dangerous. Stiles had always been a little clumsy; he could hurt himself and fall over when standing still and putting Derek in the mix made him so nervous he was constantly having trouble controlling his limbs.
So, Stiles was put in a more organisational role, he became the person who fed and watered everyone, did the research, just generally came up with new ways to test the wolves, sat off to the side and kept up a running commentary of the fights, awarded points and then declared grand champion. Derek was always the grand champion; which was probably why he only growled a little when Stiles started with his running commentary, putting on his best impersonation of whoever commentated the football games his dad watched. He thoroughly enjoyed the competition even if it started in his head. Scott was the first to become invested and then the whiteboard had appeared in the basement where Stiles started keeping track of all the different games, activities and exercises that they routinely competed on.
Stiles had come into his own when it came to weapons training though. Derek had looked terrified, hell, everyone but Scott had looked terrified when Stiles had walked over, picked up the rifle and aimed. Derek had actually smiled, a full proper smile when he saw the way Stiles hit every target before shooting the apple core out of Jackson's hand.
"Take that bitches!" Stiles proclaimed as he blew on the barrel. Scott had fallen over laughing at the look on the other three werewolves' faces.
Really it was stupid of them to be so surprised; his dad was a cop, he had been taught to respect guns and then when old enough how to clean, shot and look after them. Scott was an okay shot but Stiles beat every one of the werewolves with any firearm and as it turned out he was pretty good with other projectile weapons too. Alison was not the only one who knew how to use a crossbow now.
In the two years since Derek had become alpha the four wolves had become a strong, well trained and cohesive team. They were a family but apparently the fact Stiles was useless in a fight now needed to be solved. As a result, three nights a week Stiles had to go to Derek's house and train with the werewolf, yet another situation where Stiles was constantly reminded he had fallen in desperate lust with the alpha and wanted him so badly he was constantly aroused. Just what he needed really.
Stiles was never late until the night he had come home for a quick shower and jerk before going and meeting Derek to find his dad at home waiting for him; he shouldn't be at home it was a night shift day.
"Dad?" Stiles was worried.
"Sit down, Stiles."
"What's wrong, Dad?" Stiles said as he rushed over.
"I got the mail today, came home to pick up my dinner which I forgot, and we got some interesting stuff in the mail."
"I did not order porn...or sex toys. It must be a mistake."
The sheriff stared at his son slack jawed not sure how to respond to that. "Good?"
Stiles looked down at the coffee table. "Oh God, these are college letters aren't they?"
"Yes, sit down."
Stiles slumped down onto the seat. "Fuck."
"Language...but yeah fuck."
"Okay, we'll open one each." Stiles reached for two of the envelopes, handing one to his dad and as one they opened them.
"You're in the California State University."
"Good, we can afford that one."
"Stiles!" his dad admonished.
"What? It's true and it is a factor. If you think I am going to go somewhere we cannot afford you are insane." Stiles didn't want to look at his dad, he didn't mind making sacrifices but he didn't want his dad to be hurt by the fact he might have to.
"What does yours say?"
"I got into University of Southern California."
"Did you apply anywhere but California."
"No, you are here dad; who else is going to come and ensure you eat well occasionally?"
His dad leaned over wrapped an arm around him and muttered against his hair. "I love you, Stiles." They both ignored the moment after Stiles returned the phrase, neither comfortable with affection since Stiles' mum had passed.
"You could have gone farther." Sheriff Stilinski said though he was so pleased that Stiles didn't want to run away.
"I didn't want to, Dad. I don't want to go away away just a little away. If there was an option in town I probably would have taken it." Stiles didn't add that while his dad was a huge part of that sentiment the werewolf pack in his life made up the rest of it. "Now, next envelopes."
By some weird unspoken decision they did not open Berkeley until last, his father handing Stiles the envelope. Stiles breathed like Derek had taught him, attempting to get the butterflies in his stomach to calm before ripping the envelope open and shoving the paper at his dad to read.
"You got in."
"Oh thank fuck." Stiles said collapsing back against his father's shoulder.
"Language." They both said together.
"I am proud of you, Stiles, I would have been proud of you regardless but I am so proud of you for getting here, I know how hard it has been sometimes. We should celebrate."
"You have to work." Stiles said hopeful that they could actually go.
"Called Jimmy in when I saw the letters either we were celebrating or eating misery pizza. Regardless it was going to be the two of us."
"Emilio's?"
"Course. I'll call, you go have a shower. You reek."
"Thanks, Dad." Stiles yelled as he ran up the stairs and straight into the bathroom.
Ten minutes later smelling like soap instead of sweat and teenage boy Stiles walked into his room and smacked into Derek's body. His body reacted instantaneously to being pressed against Derek and he tried step to the side but Derek grabbed his upper arms and just looked at him for a minute.
"What?" Stiles asked when Derek released him. He was able to step away and move over to the dresser quickly turning his hips into the wood. Derek followed him and stopped just behind him sniffing the air.
"You were late." Derek grumbled.
"What?" Stiles asked confused for a moment. "Late?"
"We had a trai-"
"Oh shit," Stiles said as he opened the drawer to find some underwear. "I got distracted. I got my university letters today."
"I wanted to make sure you were okay. You are never late."
"I'm sorry, Derek. Dad was here when I got home and then I started to open the letters, I got in to everywhere I applied. Hopefully Berkeley depends on the scholarships I can get but we have a couple meetings lined up." Stiles had to move away to slide the underwear up under his towel before grabbing jeans and a top so he could finally get dressed.
"That's good. So I guess no training tonight." Derek said stepping away.
"No, Dad wants to go out to celebrate. Can we change the day?"
"Don't worry about it. Just come Thursday."
Derek turned and slipped back through the window. "You can use the door." Stiles called after him but he knew nothing would stop the pack from using his window.
Stiles walked downstairs and went to dinner with his dad.
/ / / \ \ \
Thursday came around and Stiles made sure to be early.
"Hey, Derek, what are you torturing me with tonight? Are we going to run until I faint? Are you going to beat me up? Maybe you can hang me from the branches and see if I can escape."
There was no response.
"Derek?" Stiles moved through the building looking for Derek. He was early but not that early. "Derek?"
Stiles found the alpha werewolf out the back of the house at the punching bag beating it so hard that the stuffing was starting to leak out. "Derek."
Derek spun, crouching down and growling before he caught Stiles' scent. Derek pulled the headphones out of his ears his chest heaving and looking angry. "You're early."
"Well I didn't come at all last time." Stiles shrugged. "Are you okay?"
"Fine, just training. Wanted to get some boxing in before you got here."
"Yeah, I tend to flinch and complain if you punch me that hard." Stiles knew there was something wrong with Derek but he figured he was not supposed to have seen this. If in doubt sarcasm and humour to deflect.
"I wouldn't hit you this hard." Derek growled and pulled his iPod out, switched it off and wiped himself down. "I figured we would do a little light hand to hand today. You attack and I will show you some defensive movements."
"Excellent."
Two hours later Stiles was sore, tired and had been able to toss Derek over his shoulder before falling flat on his own arse. He had also been pressed up against Derek so much he might have managed to make all of his anti-erection images actual erection images because he was still hard even thinking about Scott naked which had absolutely always worked in the past. Even thinking about his year three teacher Miss Godfrey who was the most disgusting woman he had ever seen hadn't worked. He was so screwed; completely and utterly screwed.
/ / / \ \ \
It took three weeks to hear back from all the scholarship places he's talked to. Some said yes, other said no. He can get a partial one from Berkeley and a few others that will come with him wherever he goes. It isn't enough and he cannot see any other options, no other places to look into. His dad says he has a few leads but Stiles has resigned himself to USC which he can afford with the scholarships and is a good school, further away but still good.
He told Scott, because his best friend should get to know first. Scott would understand the disappointment and would just allow him to be sad for a while. Scott did, just handed over the controller and allowed Stiles to massacre some zombies.
Derek found out next because at their training session the next afternoon Stiles was still mad. Mad enough to beat the shit out of the new punching bag. Derek demanded to know what was going on.
"I can't go to Berkeley. It's fine. Will be fine. I am just a little disappointed. Sorry." Stiles stopped beating the bag and wiped some sweat from his face.
"Don't apologise. Keep going." Derek stepped back giving up on the training for the evening, letting him attack the punching bag for a while.
Later that night, when Stiles had had a shower upstairs and was sitting with the pack they all found out he got accepted; that he wasn't going.
Stiles just shrugged, pretending it wasn't a big deal. He hated people feeling sorry for him.
"If you want to go to Berkeley, you are going to go." Derek said from behind Stiles.
"I can't." Stiles said without turning around.
"Yes, you can."
"No, I can't."
"You can, Stiles. I want to help you."
"I am not going to." Stiles said firmly. "I don't want your help."
"Why not?" Derek asked grabbing Stiles and spinning him getting frustrated with the way he was being ignored and disagreed with.
"Because Dad and I cannot afford send me so I have decided to go to USC."
"But you want to go to Berkeley."
Not anymore."
"You're lying."
"Stop reading my pulse!" Stiles barked.
"Stop lying and being stubborn."
"Stop being dictatorial."
"I am the alpha."
"I am human."
"And you are going to Berkeley." Derek knew he was allowing himself to get overly annoyed and he was being irrational but he just could not help himself when faced with Stiles being stubborn and silly.
"No, I'm not!"
"There is no good reason you can't accept my help, so you are going to." Derek growled.
"You cannot tell me what to do!" Stiles growled back.
"I'm the alpha." Scott shrugged at Lydia telling her to just let them go, even after all this time sometimes the two of them just got annoyed at each other. Scott was the first to admit that Stiles could be very annoying. For some reason Stiles was able to get under Derek's skin faster than anyone else and Derek would react more forcefully than he would with anyone else.
"I'm not a werewolf."
"But, you are pack."
"Yeah, except I make my own decisions about things that do not affect the pack."
"I am not making your decisions for you." Derek said exasperated. "I am just trying to get you the decision you want."
"I told you I can't go." Stiles whispered the rest. "I can't afford it."
"You can still go Stiles. I have been thinking about it. I am going to pay for it." Derek said.
"No." Stiles felt the anger and loathing flood his body. He tried not to get more annoyed but it came up on him quickly. "You cannot pay for me. I will not accept it. I'm not going."
"Why not?" Derek asked puzzled.
"Stiles." Scott said with understanding and some warning.
"I will not accept the money. I am going to the University of Southern California. End of story." Stiles stood now fists at his side, so angry he was shaking with it.
"You are going to Berkeley, Stiles." Derek growled.
"No I am not! Dad and I cannot afford the rest of the tuition; the various scholarships will take care of only two-thirds of the cost. I cannot ask dad to give anything up for me, I will happily go to one of the other universities I have been accepted to. And I will not accept your money."
Derek took a deep breath, let it out and tried to calm himself down. "You don't understand, Stiles, you can go."
"Unless you have an inside track with someone who can give a scholarship then no I can't." Stiles wanted to shake Derek so he would understand this would not work. His family was not rich, not poor, but not rich, unlike Derek.
"I want to pay for it." Derek said calmly.
"But, I don't want you to. Leave it alone." Stiles said growling low and making the three betas sit forward surprised at the noise coming from Stiles' mouth. He opened and closed his mouth not sure how to explain to the man that his idea was so far from acceptable it was painful.
"Why?" Lydia asked from the couch reminding the two men, who stood barely twenty centimetres apart, that there were other people in the room.
"Derek cannot pay for me. I will not accept money from him. Not like that." Stiles looked to Scott silently begging him to help explain; Scott would understand.
"That's how the pack works." Derek growled out.
"Well it is not how I work." Stiles ground out unbelievably annoyed at Derek for thinking he could just order him around.
"You are part of the pack." Derek did not understand why Stiles was being so damned stubborn.
"I know. I love being part of the pack, but I cannot let you do this, Derek." Stiles' eyes were pleading with him, begging him to let this idea go. Derek didn't understand, couldn't possibly understand why Stiles was so opposed to this.
Derek responded with a growl that had the three other wolves in the room suddenly tense but Stiles just turned and left the house.
"He doesn't like pity. It makes him feel trapped and angry." Scott said when the sound of the jeep had faded but the oppressive feeling of the room just kept growing.
"Why?" Derek didn't speak; nothing made him angrier than Stiles and the anger and frustration rolling off of him meant he wouldn't be able to say anything for a while. They all knew him well enough to know when the change is coming, when the wolf was just under the surface. They knew you just needed to let whoever it was be until they had themselves under control. He would be listening but actually talking to him, trying to get him to respond would result in either damage to the house or a lot of dead game.
"When Mrs Stilinski died she'd been sick for years. That's how we met; mum was her nurse and she invited Stiles over one day so his parents could have a day together; she was in remission at the time. Stiles walked in and punched me on the arm, saw my collection of games and we started to play. We basically lived together for years floating between the houses and families and then Mrs Stilinksi got really sick and the doctors all told her she wasn't going to live. I didn't see much of Stiles for a while. He spent all his time with his mum. That was when we got into a huge fight. You apologise to people who are losing someone, that's what Mum always did so I said sorry, he punched me and we wrestled and fought. I broke his nose, he gave me a black eye. It was brutal. His dad pulled us apart and yelled at us both for about half an hour while Mum patched us up and then she started telling us off too. Then we both went into the hospital and his mum just pulled us onto the bed and hugged us both tight. She told us not to mistake pity for caring. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. She was dead three months later and that's when it got really bad. Everyone pitied him, poor little Stiles with the dead mum. His dad was so devastated he didn't handle it well. Stiles basically lived with us. He got into a lot of fights, threw a lot of tantrums. It was really bad. There is nothing he hates more than pity."
"And he sees Derek's offer as pity." Lydia asked.
"Yep."
"So basically we just told him the safest place in the world for all of us pities him." Lydia, of course, got it, said it in a way that could get through to Derek.
"I am surprised he reacted so calmly." Scott said watching Derek closely.
Stiles was still annoyed when he got home but his dad grabbed his arm and made him explain what was wrong. Stiles had no way to explain that the man he was in love with, who was the leader of the wolf pack he was a human member of, had offered to make all his dreams come true and he would get to actually go to Berkeley but he could not say yes because he cannot accept pity from Derek, from the pack, at all because it was everything Stiles hated and that pity took his back to being young and losing his mother.
He made up a fight with Derek, his older friend whose house he was helping rebuild as an apology for claiming he was a murderer. The older friend who had repeatedly come to dinner to make his dad feel okay about allowing his son and Scott to go and help.
His dad just smiled at him knowingly, okay so Stiles sucked at hiding his feelings and his dad had always known he was be a little...un-straight. He'd just mumbled he didn't care when he'd accidently found Stiles jerk off material, mainly girly magazines with one or two magazines that had men on their covers. Before Derek, they had all been girly magazines and honestly the gay magazines don't really do it for him by themselves, sometimes he just imagines Derek in the situations that are in the magazines. Stiles shook his head; he should be focussing. Stiles forced himself to pay attention to his dad who was still grinning at him.
"He pissed me off is all. Hopefully by now Scott has explained why I was so damn annoyed."
"That bad."
"Yeah."
"Need me to talk to him."
"Oh God, Dad, I'm eighteen, I can handle it."
"I have an interview with a group that does scholarships for cops kids tomorrow. I need the documents, letters, everything."
"Thanks, Dad." The hug is quick and tight then Stiles ran upstairs.
When Stiles made it inside his room he found Derek perched on the window sill. Stiles sighed; he had wanted to just crash, forget dinner or homework he just wanted this day to be over.
"I don't pity you, Stiles." Derek's voice was quiet and calm.
Stiles just looked at Derek, thank God Scott explained. Of course, this was the time that Derek came to explain something or talk about it. Normally, they both just ignored the problem, fixed the behaviour and tried to be better next time. That or Stiles went and ambushed Derek so he could chatter until he fixed the problem or Derek gave in. But this time, when things were awkward and embarrassing and Stiles just wanted to ignore it all Derek appeared in his room to talk about it.
"The thing you don't seem to understand about pack is that if one member of the pack needs something, that you have and do not need you give it to them. You needed help, money, I have more than I need and I make more every day. So it makes sense that I would give you some of it. I didn't mean anything by it. I would give anything to any of you that you need; it is my role and responsibility as alpha."
"I cannot...I can't...I just. Thank you, but no."
"Okay, if you change your mind the offer will always be there."
"Why don't you go back?" Stiles said when Derek turned to leave.
"Back where?" This time Derek came all the way in and sat on the bed.
"To university, I know that's where you were before Laura-" Stiles didn't finish the sentence just like he never did when talking about his mum.
"Because I have a pack, I can't desert you all."
Stiles suddenly had a thought. "Can we even go?"
"Of course. So long as everyone comes back regularly. Some pack leaders would say no, would keep you all here but I know Scott is going close, Lydia is too damned smart to keep her here and Jackson is calmer now but he needs to grow up. We will always be pack but sometimes you need to stretch your legs a bit."
"You are nothing like the alphas I have pictured in my head."
"The only alpha I knew was my dad, he had alliances with some other packs close by but he was always fair, kind. I know there are alphas who are incredible dictatorial and let their betas and omegas have no say in anything. That is not how dad acted; he always said that the alpha needed to look after his or her pack. My responsibility is not just ensuring the pack is safe from hunters, humans and other pack's attempts at taking their territory. My main focus has to be keeping the pack happy. I know you all want to go to college, I know you all need to do it. So I want you all to go."
"Is that what I am? An omega?" It was the first time in over a year that Stiles had an opportunity to ask the question that had been lurking in his brain since Derek had confirmed he was a part of the pack. He never felt like less than Scott, Jackson or Lydia in the pack and none of them made him feel like that either but he wasn't a beta, obviously.
"No." Derek was wearing his uncommunicative face but Stiles had to ask anyway.
"So what am I?"
"You are pack."
"Oh well, that explains everything then." Stiles threw the pen he'd been playing with at Derek and then froze as it bounced off his forehead but the alpha just chuckled.
"I miss you flinching whenever I walked past." Derek said with a shake of his head.
"Well, you don't shove me against walls anymore." Stiles ignored the fact his missed being shoved into things.
"You are less annoying."
"That's a lie; I am just as annoying as I ever was. You just like me now." Stiles put on his best smile.
"I do." Derek looked way too serious so he must be being sarcastic but Stiles just kept grinning.
"Where did you go to school anyway?"
"Berkeley." Derek grins now.
"Course."
"Stiles, pizza's here." His dad's voice floated up from downstairs.
"Want to stay for dinner, Derek?"
"Nah, best be off. 'Night, Stiles."
Derek was on the roof when Stiles talked again. "I picked Berkeley because my mum went there."
"So did mine." Derek said before jumping off the roof.
/ / / \ \ \
Lydia was pre-accepted to Caltech and MIT; she made a pro/con list. It will be Caltech though...after all, it was closer.
Scott was going to the closest California State University campus a half hour away; he had never been good at studying. Though if he managed to get his grades up he might be able to go to USC in second year.
Jackson got a lacrosse scholarship to University of Southern California.
Now, Stiles just needed to convince Derek to go back to university and finish getting his degree in the subtle art of growling.
They needed to have a pack meeting so Stiles rang the rest of the pack.
/ / / \ \ \
Stiles' dad was able to get more money from the Policeman's Scholarship Fund. It got them most of the way there, but it will be tight – too tight. Stiles wanted to say no but his dad had already sent the acceptance letter in and told Stiles it was happening. Stiles would find a job, it's not a good idea because of the ADHD, but he would make it work. When Stiles saw Derek for their next training session he told him the good news, he was careful not to say that they were still short of money. One argument this fortnight was enough.
"De-rek," Stiles panted as he dropped onto the ground.
"What?" Stiles glared at Derek who was not even a little puffed after the ten kilometre run he had just been forced into.
"Why don't you go back to university next year? Finish your degree." Stiles ran through the deep breathing exercises Coach Cupcake, thank you dad, had taught everyone.
Derek didn't say anything just looked at Stiles for a moment before pulling his shirt over his head. All the breathing exercises in the world were pointless when faced with shirtless Derek; Stiles lost his breath again, Derek remained silent and dove into the lake that they had run to.
"Derek?"
"Swimming, Stiles." Derek said with his back turned.
"Okay." Stiles left it, pulling his own shirt off and getting in the water as quickly as possible to avoid being shirtless in front of Derek for too long. He was only conscious of his own overly lean torso when faced with the sheer wall of muscle that was Derek.
They swam around to both cool off and exercise before running the 'short way' back to Derek's house, only two kilometres. Stiles didn't broach the subject of Derek going back to university until they were both back at Derek's; showered and dressed. They were sitting on the couch in front of the TV watching something trashy when Stiles brought it up again.
"Derek?"
"Yes, Stiles?"
"Come to Berkeley with me."
Derek turned and looked at Stiles his eyes closed off but searching.
"Please, it will be good. I will be there and you can finish your degree. In whatever you are studying. I think it would be good for you. I know you said that we needed to grow and needed to go to university but I think you need to go back just as much as we need to go at all, Derek. You had to leave and it sucked but I think your family would want you to finish. I think you need to do something for yourself. You have fixed this place, and it is a great start; you are healing and I think we are helping. God I hope we are helping," Stiles couldn't stop even if he wanted to but he stopped himself from saying how much he hoped he was helping. "What happened sucked and nothing will make it okay but you have a new pack. We are your family now too. I...we want you to do what makes you happy. You deserve to be happy Derek and being home without us will just make you lonely again. So please, come to Berkeley with me."
"Okay."
"Really?"
"Yes, I will come you make a good argument."
Stiles launched forward and wrapped his arms around Derek, so happy that being tactile in a pack was more than just okay it was expected. "I am so happy about this. We are going to have a great time."
"What am I getting myself into?" Derek mumbled into Stiles' neck.
"Awesomeness." Stiles said when he pulled away with a grin. Derek smiled back at him and they turned back to the TV.
/ / / \ \ \
A week later Stiles got a call from a woman named Janie who said he was the inaugural recipient of the Hale Family Memorial Scholarship. He was polite on the phone but as soon as he hit the end call button his body flooded with anger and he stomped out to the jeep to drive over to Derek's house. When he got there Lydia was sitting on the front porch and handed Stiles an envelope.
"The scholarship is legitimate. For any student who wants to attend Berkeley from any of the schools in the area. The selection criteria is all legal, Derek has committed to providing it for the next ten years to any student in Beacon Hills regardless of the school they attend. All the info is in there. Derek is in San Francisco for a couple days talking to some guy who used to know his father who might know something about that wolf that attacked you two a couple of months ago. Bye," she brushed a kiss to his cheek and disappeared in a breeze of perfume.
Stiles checked everything out, the scholarship was legitimate. Someone else would get it next year. He had told Derek that if he knew someone who could get him a scholarship he would take it. So Derek checkmated him. He had no choice but to take the money now.
When Derek got home Stiles drove over straight away and thanked Derek before calling him conniving and manipulative. Derek laughed and shrugged at him before telling him to run to the stream and back to warm up.