Caroline sat in front of me, watching me carefully. She tapped her fingers against the table as she watched me, brows furrowed in both confusion and anxiousness. I had told her about the drunken incident with Stefan, where I told him that I would forget about Damon. What I kept quiet was how I suddenly saw Stefan differently than before; she could learn that some other time.
"So, you're breaking up with him?" Caroline asked, leaning over the table a bit.
"We aren't together to begin with," I told her, straightening my back. "It's more like me ending my feelings for him."
"But, why?" She shrugged her shoulders and looked at me as if I were crazy. "Why would you do that? You looked like you really loved him, Clara!"
"And I did," I sighed, running my hair back with my hand. "I just don't want to waste my feelings on someone who doesn't truly love me back, Caroline." I sighed and leaned back on the chair, looking out to the passing people. There were couples, both young and elderly and so in love. They smiled at each other, they stared into each others eyes, and they held hands as if it was the only thing keeping them from drifting away.
I sighed and turned back to Caroline, giving her a small smile. "I've loved Damon for over one hundred-and-something years, and he loved me for only five of those. After all this time wasting my feelings on him, I should move on, shouldn't I? I mean, yeah, he was my first love and I will always love him, but it's time for me to move on." I pulled out the ring and laid it on top of the table, letting her look at it. "To make it official that I'm moving on from him, I'm going to return that."
"A ring?" she asked, surprised.
"It was our engagement ring," I told her, smiling. "I thought it was taken from me after I died, turned out that Damon had it. He gave it to me when he and Elena came to Chicago." I stared at the ring in her fingers, admiring it. "I thought it meant that he still loved me, but maybe it meant that he was letting me go."
Caroline threw her head back and groaned. "Ugh, I hate love!" she said, handing me the ring.
I chuckled and pushed the ring in the pocket of my sweater. "So, have you heard from Tyler?" The Lockwood hybrid had left, and no one knew where he was or where did he go.
"No," she sighed. "And I've left messages for him everywhere."
"He's bound to re-appear sometime soon," I told her as I dug for money in my purse. "Don't worry too much about it, Care. Worry more about your dad."
Bill Forbes, her father, the one that hated vampires and was my descendant, had been attacked by Tyler while trying to help the hybrid break his sire. Currently, Bill was at the hospital and Caroline was anxious to go. She wanted me to go with her so I could meet him, but I decided not to since he needed to take in that his daughter was a vampire and that she meant no harm to him or anyone else.
"I'll pay for this," I told Caroline as I laid thirty dollars on the table. "You go pick up your father from the hospital."
"Come with me," she said, laying her eyes on me. "Please. You can meet your great-great nephew, or whatever."
I let out a soft chuckle and shook my head. "I rather not get killed by a family-member."
"He won't kill you," she promised, giving me a smile. "Please, Clara! Come with me. Maybe you can rethink this whole breaking up with Damon thing. I'm for the whole Team Camon, Dlara, whatever."
"Yeah, well, I'm no longer Team Camon," I said, rolling my eyes at her. "Or, whatever. What is that, anyway?"
"Your shipping name," she smiled. "It's your name pushed together, Camon." She took my hand and dragged me to her car. As she drove, she began to gush about how her father would love me, but I knew she was just telling herself that because her father was anti-vampire.
Mystic Falls General Hospital was the same as the last time I came, but different. The last time I came was when I had first arrived, the day where Caroline was in an accident and I first met Bonnie while leaning against Damon's car.
We stopped at the waiting room to wait for a doctor. A woman with a white coat came out. "Are you Caroline?" she asked her.
"Yes," Caroline said. "Dr. Fell, hi! Elena told me you helped out my dad."
"I did," the woman nodded. "Do you think you can get him to be a little more grateful? He spent half the night threatening to get my medical license revoked for saving his life."
"Yeah, my dad's a little set in his ways. He spent his whole life hating vampires, so..."
"So, he's not psyched about it being vampire blood that healed him," Dr. Fell nodded, looking beat and tired and annoyed. "Yeah, he made that clear. I'm sorry. My bedside manner sucks, on no sleep." She began to walk away.
I began to follow her, both annoyed at her presence. "So, can we take him home?" I asked, stopping her while staring at her curiously. It was strange how a Fell, one of the most anti-vampire families in Mystic Falls, was using vampire blood to cure the sick.
Dr. Fell looked at me, then looked back at Caroline. "I signed his discharge papers late last night," she said, "just to shut him up." She looked confused, as if we weren't supposed to be here looking for him.
Caroline frowned. "Oh... He didn't call or anything."
"That's gotta be hard. When your dad hates the one thing you can't change about yourself. I make it my business, to know who the vampires are in this town. Medical curiosity. I don't blab."
"Of course you don't..." I lowly muttered, watching her. "Medical curiosity, huh? Curious on how the vampire's digestive system works? You know, how can they possibly survive on blood."
"Clara!" Caroline looked at me and shook her head. "Sorry about that. It's a touchy subject for her."
"Yeah..." Dr. Fell stared at me for a while. She turned to Caroline and nodded. "Tell your dad I said 'you're welcome'."
"Thanks," Caroline sighed as Dr. Fell walked away.
I wrapped my arm around hers and pulled her down the hallway with me, giving her a small and re-assuring smile that would hopefully not bring her so down. "That was fast," I told her, furrowing my brows.
"She seems nice," Caroline commented as we walked along the hallway. "A little intense, maybe. But, I think it's sweet. We have to make sure Alaric's not dating a total psycho." She began to work on her phone.
Alaric had been dating Dr. Meredith Fell, a woman who he and part of the Save Elena Squad thought to be guilty of the murders that had been happening. Brian Walters had been staked at the woods by Wickery Bridge the night of a fundraiser, and he turned out to be Dr. Fell's ex-boyfriend. She also vervained Damon to get his blood in order to use its healing properties at the hospital. In my book, she didn't scream murdered, but she did scream vampire-intrigued.
"I hear it," Caroline said, stopping.
"What?" I looked at her, confused. I tried to hear what she was hearing, but all I heard was talking, blood pumping through the system, and a cell phone ringing.
"My dad's phone..." she uttered, turning to follow the ringing. I followed behind her, the ringing getting louder and louder with each step. When we were close to a medical supply room, I stopped. The sweet smell of blood came to me at that moment, filling my system with thirst. I took a deep breath to calm myself down and laid a hand on Caroline's shoulder, signalling that I would go in first in case of anything.
Slowly, I opened the door. The cellphone was still ringing, but it soon stopped. I walked deeper into the closet. Sitting upright on the floor against a shelf was Bill Forbes with a knife in his chest and dried blood caking his neck and clothes.
Caroline ran to him, gasping. "Daddy!" she gasped. "Dad!" She began to breath for air and cover her mouth, then laying her hands on his body while taking sudden breaths and trying not to cry. "Don't be dead, don't be dead, don't be dead! Oh my god!" She took hold of the knife and pulled it out. "Daddy!"
"Caroline," I softly said, kneeling besides her and looking down at the bloody knife. "He has vampire blood in his system."
"What?" she gasped, looking back at me.
Like a sudden gust of wind, the dead man in front of us awoke with a gasp. He looked around with wide eyes, terrified. I immediately told Caroline to take him to a room. She did as I said; she helped her father stand and then moved fast enough to another room. I compelled the few nurses to stay out of the room, and to keep anyone else out of it.
I walked into the room to see Bill Forbes looking at himself in a mirror and changing into another shirt and Caroline staring at him with a worried look. "I compelled the nurses to stay out of this room," I told them. "You'll be safe here."
"My wound is completely healed," he marvelled. "I need something to eat."
"Daddy, why don't you just lay down and just relax?" Caroline suggested, watching him begin to pace around.
"I can't," he told her. "I'm too wired and my pulse is racing. It's the effect of my body wanting to transition."
"Well, maybe Dr. Fell can give you something..."
"She's done enough."
"I sent Liz a text message," I told them, breaking the awkward tension. Caroline thanked me with a nod and a smile. I smiled and looked back at my great-nephew. "Bill, did you see your attacker?"
"I didn't see anything," he said, eyeing me carefully. "I tried to sneak out the back entrance and someone came up behind me."
"Look, we'll figure this out," Caroline said, sounding desperate, "but in the meantime we need to get you some blood."
"I'm not going to drink any blood," Bill said, looking at his daughter with saddened eyes.
"You have to," I told him. "If you don't and finish the transition, you will die."
"I understand how it works," he said, keeping his eyes on Caroline. "And that's what I'm prepared to do. Now, get me out of this hospital. I smell blood everywhere." He was the first one to leave.
The three of us made our ways to the Forbes residence, where Caroline called Elena to keep her some good company while Bill stared at me curiously. He didn't speak, instead he looked around the house and took in everything. The painting on the walls, the dried flowers by the table in the entry, the pictures of Carline and Liz, the many books that made absolutely no sense in the living room, and even the food in the fridge. By the time he had finished looking, it was night.
Liz, Bill, and I sat around the kitchen table, a mug of hot coffee in front of us. His was untouched, but he kept his hands around the warm mug. Liz took one long sip, but then left it untouched and did the same thing as her ex-husband. I looked between them, seeing the careful love that came from the separated couple. Although Bill was gay, he still had a love for Liz. It wasn't romantic, but it was deep. Liz, on the other hand, seemed to still love him. Her eyes told a story of love, but there was a raging storm in her eyes as well.
"So," Bill began, breaking the silence, "Caroline told me about you. You're a Forbes that died over one hundred and sixty years ago."
"My father was William Forbes, my mother was Margaret Forbes, and my brother was Abraham Forbes," I told him with a nod. "So, yeah, I'm a Forbes that died a long time ago."
"I believe being a vampire is a way to cheat death," he told me.
"Yeah, well, you can file a complaint to the Vampire Committee," I said with a roll of my eyes. "We can't change who we are, Bill. If that were possible, I would be long dead and Caroline would be a normal teenage girl."
"I know," he sighed, looking down at his mug of coffee.
"But, let's not think of sad things," I said, forcing a small smile. I could hear his heartbeat slowing, the gentle thumping that became slower with time and signalled his leaving. "Caroline is a wonderful girl that's still as ambitious as she was when she was human. Although I did not know her then, I've heard many great things about her. Even though she is the thing you hate most in the world, she is the most amazing person I've met in a long, long time. And you must know that I have been alive for too long and seen many."
Liz, Bill, and I continued to talk for a few minutes, mostly about Caroline. he wanted to catch up on the years he had missed, the events that he had missed because he was away. He told me that he and Steven, his partner, had not been speaking or a while, and he was glad that they weren't because the man wouldn't have to feel so much pain after he died.
Even though I had not known Bill for so long, I had grown to care for him. He was such a humble man that kept his believes, they didn't budge one bit. I couldn't help and think of my father when I looked at him. The way he stood and watched so carefully, the way his eyes crinkled when he narrowed them and looked at something as if it needed to be inspected.
Slowly, he moved to Caroline's room. That was when Caroline came in from outside. I signalled her to her room with my chin, giving her a small smile. She nodded and walked to her room slowly, greeting her father with a gentle, "Hey."
I turned to Liz, and gave her a small smile. She smiled in return and sighed, looking down at the mug of now cold coffee in front of her. "It's been ten years since we last spoke like this," she said. "We had never spoken like this since the divorce."
"People always speak with the heart when time is almost gone," I said with a soft sigh. "It's good to speak with the heart."
"Yeah," she sighed and whipped away a stray tear that fell down her cheek. "I shouldn't be... I shouldn't be crying."
"Liz, you love him," I smiled. "It's okay to cry, just like it's okay to let go."
"Are you talking to me or about yourself?" she asked, giving me a small smile. When she saw my face, she chuckled. "Uh, Caroline told me. Sorry."
I chuckled and shook my head, waving a hand at her. "No, uh, it's alright," I smiled. "I guess I'm telling both you and myself, Liz. Or, should I call you Sheriff Forbes."
"Liz is alright," she softly said. "We're practically family."
"Shh," I heard Bill whisper from Caroline's room. "Parents aren't supposed to outlive her their children, Caroline. It's okay."
Liz and I stood and made our way to Caroline's room, and stood in the doorway. She was already crying as she watched her daughter and ex-husband in an embrace, and I watched with my chest hurting. Bill looked over at Liz, and took a breath. "This is life. This is what it means to be human."
It all happened slow. Bill began to get weaker and weaker, as if he suddenly aged in a matter of minutes. He laid on the bed, tightly clutched Caroline's hand, and slowly allowed his life to leave him. It was like falling asleep and he died in peace. His heartbeat slowed until it came to a stop, and that was when Caroline began to cry. Liz then entered with tears in her eyes, and slowly walked to her daughter. The two blonds looked at each other, as if their silent eye contact gave them warmth in the sudden cold of the moment.
When Liz left, I cradled Caroline in my arms and allowed her to cry. Over and over again I told her that we'd give him a grand funeral, with bright flowers so that he could be in peace. We wouldn't allow any other vampires to come since he despised them so much. And if Damon even tried to take a step into the funeral home, I'd kick him out by force. That made her laugh, but that also made her cry more. So, I continued to sooth her. By the end, she fell asleep.
"She's asleep," I told Liz as I walked to the kitchen. She was leaning against the counter, her head down and a look of defeat in her eyes. "I'm gonna go. If you need anything, and I do mean anything, don't hesitate to call me."
"Thank you, Clara," she said, looking up. "Really, thank you."
"We're practically family," I repeated, smiling. "There's no need to thank me."
Since it was Caroline that picked me up earlier in the day to go to The Grill, I walked home. It didn't bother me. The night was cold, but it was soothing and calm and I felt as if I could have some time to myself, think. As I walked, I pulled out the ring from my pocket to look at it. It shined lightly with the stars up above, and it made me sad. The ring was so beautiful, with the blue sapphires appearing black with the darkness, the pierced detailing making a faint shadow on my fingers. The ring that held so many memories made me smile, made my heart hurt, made me want to throw it to the woods and never see it again. But, no. I couldn't. The ring, no matter how much it made me angry and hurt, meant so much.
The right thing to do wasn't to throw it away, it was to return it to the rightful owner—Damon.
The Salvatore Boarding home was dimly lit. In the living room, Stefan sat with a glass of alcohol. It seemed that all he did was drink these days, and maybe it was because he was tired of his ex-girlfriend and his brother getting closer or the thirst. He looked up when I walked in.
"How was your day?" he asked. He sounded tired, annoyed.
I took the glass from his hand and downed it. "Caroline's dad died."
"Oh," he frowned.
"Yeah," I sighed, taking a seat besides him. "And, I realized that... I realized that I'm going to move on."
"Are you still drunk?" he asked, smiling.
I pushed him with my shoulder. "Shut up," I softly laughed. "And, no, I'm not drunk, for your information. This is my first drink, and I severely need it."
"Yeah," he breathed, leaning back on the couch. "With what happened today, I understand."
"And what I'm going to do," I finished, pouring myself another drink. As soon as I finished, I downed it and then poured myself more.
"And, what is it that you're going to do?"
"What I said I would do last night," I sighed, handing him the glass of alcohol. "I'm going to let go of Damon."
"You were serious..." Stefan sounded surprised, and that made me laugh quietly. "I thought you were just talking drunk."
"I sort of was," I smiled at him, "but also the truth. Stefan, I need to let go of him and set myself free."
"Deep," he chuckled.
"Shut it," I mumbled, smiling. "So, what happened with you?"
"I had dinner with Klaus and Elijah," he sighed, taking a sip from the glass I handed him with alcohol.
"Exciting," I chuckled, leaning back on the couch.
"Yeah," he nodded, the small smirk appearing around his lips. "Well, unless Klaus burning my arm doesn't count as exciting." He extended his arm and slightly flexed it, watching as the muscles contracted beneath his skin.
"Oh, that must have been especially exciting," I said with an amused smile. "Well, I'm glad you had fun on your date with Klaus and Elijah."
"I wish we could do it again," he sarcastically said, rolling his eyes at me. "Don't you have something to do, Clara?"
"Right," I breathed and stood. "I need to officially break up with your brother. Where is he?"
"Upstairs," Stefan answered as he pointed at the ceiling.
"Thanks," I nodded, making my way to the stairs.
"Hey, Clara," he stopped me. I turned to see him standing, a hand in his pocket and staring at me with a small smile. "If you need someone, I... I'm here."
I looked down, feeling my lips spread into a smile. It was strange, but his words caused warmth to swarm inside of me. It began at the pit of my stomach and raised all around me, as if I had just wrapped myself in a blanket. I looked up at him and nodded, still smiling. "I know," I told him. "Thanks, Stefan."
I went upstairs, slowly. My hand brushed against the banister with each step, regret eating my insides. I could hear Damon whistling and moving around his room as I moved up the stairs. When I stood in front of his door, I took a few deep breaths and slowly opened it. Damon was walking out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, his skin dripping water.
He stopped whistling when he saw me. "Clara," he smirked, "what do I owe the pleasure of this sudden visit?"
"Damon," I breathed, allowing myself to say his name like something sweet. "Damon, we need to talk."
"Talk," he said as he continued to move around the room. He was searching for clothes to put on, and I could have left him so he could get dressed, but I needed to get it out of my chest as soon as possible.
"Um..." I ran a hand through my hair and looked down at my feet. "I... I don't know where to start."
"Are you here to tell me that you loooove me?" he sarcastically asked, moving to the bathroom with clothes in his hands. "We already went over that, Clara."
"Trust me, it's not that," I mumbled, sighing. "Damon..." I took a deep breath. "Damon, I'm letting go of you."
There were a few moments of silence. Damon then, slowly, came out of the bathroom with pants on and his eyes filled with an emotion I couldn't quite read. "What?" he asked, his brows furrowing. "What are you talking about, Clara?"
"I'm..." I licked the side of my lip as I thought of the exact words I could tell him. My chest hurt, my throat felt as if it were closing, and I wanted nothing more than to tell him to forget it. But, I had to go on. I had to follow through with what I needed to make myself free. "I'm letting go of you. I'm going to make myself stop having feelings for you."
"Why?" Damon asked after a few seconds of utter silence.
"Isn't it clear?" I raised my brows and shook my head. "You clearly don't have any feelings for me anymore, so why should I continue?"
"Clara, I love—"
"Don't," I cut him off. "You don't love me anymore, Damon. Maybe you did once, but not anymore. Shit, you haven't loved me for a long time. You fell for Katherine the moment you saw her, and you obviously still had feelings for her since she was the reason you came back to Mystic Falls. And now you are falling for Elena, and it hurts. Damon, it hurts seeing you love someone else again." I brushed my lips together and stopped myself from crying. "I gotta stop hanging on to shit I'm better off letting go."
"Are you calling me shit?" he asked, furrowing his brows.
I threw my head back and shook my head. "No, Damon, I'm not calling you shit. I'm calling my feelings for you shit." I began to cry then, and I allowed everything to be free. "I've watched you fall in love with someone else twice, Damon, twice. And I'm exhausted. It hurts, and I no longer want to feel hurt every time I see you. I love you, and I've loved you for over one hundred and something years, but I can't go on." I stepped closer to him and laid the ring on the palm of his hand. "This is me letting go of you, Damon." I smiled and kissed his cheek, then turned to walk out of his room.
As soon as I closed his door, I leaned against it. I felt my chest caving in with each breath, my ears ringing, my fingers itching for me to turn the knob and walk right back in to his arms. Instead, I pushed myself and walked away to my room. I moved slowly, as if any sudden movement would cause me to break down.
When I walked into my room, Stefan was standing by the window and staring outside. He looked back at me when I closed the door. "Are you—"
"Don't ask me if I'm okay," I cut him off, moving to the bed. "The answer is an obvious no, Stefan."
"Of course," he said, taking a seat besides me. He took my hand and tangled our fingers together. "Then, let me ask you this: will you be okay, Clara?"
I looked down at our hands and smiled softly, nodding. "I hope so," I softly said. "I mean, I just told the man I loved that I'm gonna stop loving him, but... I think I'm going to be okay."