A/N
I have entered DWM in the 2015 Watty Awards, please recommend my story to friends and make sure to vote, read and comment :)
THE MORE LOVE YOU SHOW, THE SOONER I'LL UPDATE!!!
this is the sequel to "if looks could kill" long awaited! Here you guys go, I love you, my precious little ones. This is for you.
And LET US ALL HAVE A HUGE ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR INSANUIMARTISAN FOR CREATING THE BEAUTIFUL COVER OH MY GOD, I LOVE YOU SO SOMUCH, YOU'RE THE BEST.
I'm also going to warn you that the end of this chapter may be slightly triggering. This is not how I expected this to happen but....it just sort of did.
I know, it's darker than anything from book one, and I promise at some point it will get better.
This is a story about recovering things that have been lost. It's a tale of finding that spark and that love that may have been lost. It's a story about a sad young woman who is ultimately strong and amazing. This is the second and maybe last installment of the If Looks Could Kill series, and I truly hope that you all love and cherish this the same way that I do.
So here we are, thank you for coming on this journey with me:
Dancing with midnight chapter numero uno.
LET'S GO
There were hushed whispers throughout the halls as everyone stared, mouths dropped open in silent uneasiness. "is that Scarlett Selvin?"I heard it frequently. "wait, I thought she was dead, killed herself or some shit."
Alright sure, I kind of faked my death, well, woopty-fucking-do, get over it. I strode down the hall, glaring at random people occasionally. I knew what they were all thinking. 'what the hell happened to her? A year ago, she was slytherin's golden girl, the one that /everyone/ wanted to be.' well, that's not me anymore.
My hair was a deep shade of red, starkly contrasting with my pale skin. I had a nose ring, and my arms were lined with different tattoos. I had a new, even more present, 'don't mess with me or I'll kick your ass' attitude, and I was back. I shook my head slowly, sighing. "god, if they don't stop staring, I'll hex someone. I don't even care." I mumbled annoyedly to myself.
I looked over to a friend that I had met that summer, and I went to sit by her. "hey." she said smoothly, her raven hair falling to frame her perfect face. I nodded, keeping silent for a moment. "hey, how are you?" I asked almost boredly. She shrugged in response. "I'm fine. I don't want to be here."
I left it at that, looking around the great hall, meeting nervous gazes and rolling my icy blue eyes. You might be thinking some stupid things right now. 'what happened to Scarlett? Why is she acting this way? What the hell has she done to her body...oh god, those tattoos etc. Etc."
They're good questions; I'll give you that. they're also completely irrelevant. I have gone through too fucking much this past year. My head hurts, and my palms are sweaty, and underneath my dark, angry, who gives a shit exterior, im still Scarlett Selvin. It's just a lot harder now a days.
After a while, I made eye contact with a familiar face, and I smirked a bit. Kailey waved, her cheeks flaring red. She moved closer, sitting on my other side. "hello, Scarlett." she said quietly, giving me a once over.
She looked just as sweet as ever, pushing her brown hair behind her ears. She looked around the room as well, smiling a bit. "hello, Kailey." I replied, speaking leisurely with her about how her summer had gone. She had gone to Australia with her aunt, and she had studied a lot and all of the other boring Kailey stuff. It was nice to see her. I briefly wondered whether or not her happy soul was evanescent.
I fell silent minutes later when I saw a head of white hair, and I looked down at my hands, squeezing my eyes shut. I couldn't see anything or think about anything except for flashes of that night, the night that Hell broke loose in Hogwarts. I swallowed thickly, trying so desperately to forget about it all. It seemed almost like it was forever ago...so so long.
I heard him sit beside me, but he said nothing, swooping down to kiss my cheek before turning back to face foreword. No no no. My head was spinning, and I stood, staggering a bit before trying to rush away. My feet were carrying me too quickly, and I didn't even notice when Ginny grabbed me around the waist, her eyes darting about before she dragged me out of the hall.
She sat down with me on a bench. "Scarlett, breathe, okay? You're safe now. No one can hurt you." she promised softly, continuing to speak like that until I had calmed. When my breathing slowed, I looked up at her. "Gin..." I trailed off, and she just nodded. "I know." she whispered, practically hearing my thoughts.
She knew that I was undeniably afraid, and that I didn't quite know what to do. Everything was different now. I...I don't know how to handle this. I reach out to cup her cheek, apologizing for Harry's lack of presence. She shook her head.
"it's important for them to...y'know." he said softly. It was frightening, and she squeezed her eyes shut. "I hope they're all okay." she added, and I nodded, hugging her to my chest. "yes...I hope so too...but they're the golden trio...they can beat anything." I said solemnly with a nod.
She let out a shaky breath, stNding up. "I hope that you're right...because y'know...I need Harry and Ron. And hermoine too, I suppose. I grew up with them." she rambled, and I nodded, following her.
"I know, me too, but it'll all be okay. We're okay." I whispered, hugging her tight. "let's go back in." I suggested, taking her hand and walking her to her seat before going to mine, swallowing thickly before plopping down between Draco and Kailey.
The entire feast went by slowly, as if the gods were torturing me. I closed my eyes. Snape looked around venomously, speaking of the two prefects for each house. I was tuning out until I heard my name. My head snapped up, and I looked around nervously before standing with Draco to wave at all of the first years so that they knew who we were.
Shit. God damn. Fucking Hell. The world hates me. I don't want to be a prefect. I want to just...disappear or something, I don't want this. I dnt want any of this. I sat down, waiting for the end of the feast.
Of course, as Prefect, I had to show all of the girls to where the dormitories were. I did so hastily, continuously telling them all to hurry along. I told them all where there rooms were before sighing, falling back against the wall. I trudged slowly to the prefect's quarters, walking to my bedroom and screaming into a pillow.
Why is it that the world hates me. It's always me. I cringed, hearing a knock on my door. "scarlet, I'm coming inside, right now," he said almost gently before opening my door. I stared at him, shaking my head. "I don't want to speak with you, Draco." i said almost icily.
I watched him sigh, looking down at the ground. "you can't avoid me. Not now....not after all of that." he said quietly, coming to sit on the edge of my bed. "please don't avoid me...I think I really need you right now." he said quietly, and I shook my head. "draco, I can't. I can't do this. I can't just pretend that life is butterflies and rainbows and 'isnt the world grand? Love conquers all!'. I can't do that or think that or...no. No. No. No no no." I said, pulling away from him.
I could see the hurt in his eyes, and I kind of felt bad, but I was being honest. He couldn't do this, and neither could I. Not now, after everything had fallen apart. "scarlet. Don't act like this. You aren't this person. This isn't you." he said coldly, pulling away from me.
I shot up, pushing him harshly. "how do you think you know who I am?! You don't know me! You didn't see the things that I've been through. You're nothing but a heartless, cold, dick. Okay? You're horrible. And probably a murderer. A gutless coward. You are dispicable!" I screamed at him, inwardly smirking at his flinch.
"I hate you. You don't deserve anything outside of a life in prison. Try to run. I hope the dementors pull every good memory of us from your stupid brain." I seethed. My heart skipped a beat when he turned around, slapping me hard.
My hand flew to my cheek, and I could feel the blood rush to my face. I turned to look at him, absolutely taken aback. I clenched my jaw. "get out of my room." I whispered, and his expression softened. "scar, no." he said quietly to which I clenched my fists, hitting at his chest. "get out! I said get out. I don't want anything to do with you, get away!" I said loudly, tears finally falling from my blue eyes.
He rook hold of my wrists easily, holding them both in one of his hands. He wiped my tears with the other. "shhh, it's okay." he said softly, letting go of my hands and pulling me against his chest. I could feel him. For the first time in months, I could feel his sturdy, firm body against my own.
This brought a fresh round of tears, and I began crying softly. I hardly noticed when he helped me to bed, getting under the covers with me. I was sobbing uselessly, curled up to him, nit knowing how to react to any of this.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered brokenly, leaning into his warm embrace. "I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean it. I don't think any of that. I..you must understand. You must understand it." I whispered my apology almost frantically, hoping that he would accept my words
I watched as he nodded, his blonde hair had gotten a bit too long, and it wasn't yelled or parted nicely. He looked as wrecked as I felt, and it reassured me in some twisted sort of way. It calms me to know that someone is as fucked up as I am.
"I know, scarlett, I know. You're in pain. You're just hurt." he said, rubbing my back. "now sleep. Sleep, Scarlett. " he pulled me to his chest, holding me there protectively. I am not sure why he made it so easy for me to fall asleep. Why it was all of a sudden simple to close my eyes and drift away.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"don't touch me." I warned, my eyes dark. I shook my head slowly, pulling away from the man. He had his hand on my waist, his fingers digging into the flesh of my hip, obviously causing small bruises to form.
I tried to pull away from him, pushing at his chest, but he was inevitably stronger then I. He had pushed me into an alley. It was dark, and I couldnt see anything but him and gross brick walls, and I felt sick to my stomach.
I relived the pain and torment of this, one of my many abusers. I was left on the floor of the alley, leaning up against a brick wall, covered in his fluids. I was disgusting and despicable and afraid. I couldn't move, the soreness and pain being too much for me to bear.
I laid down on the asphalt, crying softly until I was found by a familiar face, she picked me up, taking me home and washing me up before putting me to bed just like pretty much every weekend.
And there I would lay. I, scarlett Selvin, would lay there and cry. I wasn't a person anymore, just an empt shell. The remains of someone who was once bright and lively. She was dead now, and I was what remained in her place. A used, abused, washed up, marked up, disgusting, self-loathing whore. I couldn't look in the mirror or at anyone who seemed too much stronger then me.
I woke with tears rolling down my face and I flipped around so that I was looking at Draco. He was was sleeping fitfully, grumbling and making faces. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wonder if he can save me. I wonder if it's possible for me to be saved. I'm broken. I'm darkness. I'm everything that I hoped I'd never be and more. I'm Scarlett Selvin, and I'm back, for better or worse.
ANOTHER NOTE
Okay!!! So here it is for all of you lovely people. I just wnted you all to know that this entire book is just for you guys, it is absolutely 100% my gift to you. I have nit edited this nor do I own any of the characters save for...wait, jk. I own two of the characters in this chapter, scarlet and Kailey. Aside from that though, all rights reserved to the lovely miss J.K. Rowling.
Song 1- Devil Takes Care Of His Own, Band of Skulls
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Loads of love,
~Alex