Jay's P.O.V.
I'm on the left side of my bed, my favored side, and I have my arms slightly around Nya. It feels wonderful to me. She isn't aware, because she's fast asleep, a small expression of worry on her face. Her lips are slightly parted, and a small strand of hair that fell over her mouth is blown up every time she breathes out. Nya is letting me hold her now but if she were conscious I'm sure it would be a different story.
I'm a fool. So stupid, I admitted how I felt and just as I expected, Nya's reaction was less than overjoyed. For a short time I thought maybe Nya cared about me, but now I doubt it. I don't blame her, of course. This is my life. I get my hopes up about something and then they're dashed, thrown onto the cold hard floor and broken into a million pieces. Fragile, like me.
I had hope about the release spell and even more about the reversal spell. But we aren't trying those again. It's too dangerous.
And Nya says she's able to fight Cole. I say she's able to die as well.
I want to save Nya. I want to make sure she doesn't get hurt, at least not more than she already has. The solution is obvious, when I think about it. So simple, clear in my muddled thoughts. It's practically the rules of Ninjago.
Cole is a villain now. I am a ninja.
Ninja fight villains.
Ninja beat villains.
I have to fight Cole, and I have to win.
I don't have a lot going for me. I'm not exactly the greatest at being a ninja, which I know. Sometimes I wonder if Sensei made a mistake picking me. But there is one thing I am good at. That thing is lightning. It's in the title, I'm the Master of Lightning, right? Electrocution can hurt people pretty badly.
I'm not very strong with my powers. But maybe, just maybe, if I used them to their full extent, I would be able to fry Cole and zap the demon straight out of him. The reason I haven't tried this before is because I don't have good control. In other words, I'll probably end up killing myself. But this could be our last hope.
For a fleeting second I wonder if I should awaken Nya and tell her where I'm going. She might try to stop me...no, that's what I would do if she woke me up and told me she was going to confront an all-powerful demon who has tortured humanity for millennia and killed all our friends. Gulp. Nya would probably let me go, she's so desperate at this point that she would try anything and it's not like my dying would be as devastating as Lloyd or Kai or anyone else. But she looks so peaceful, so content, snuggled in my blue blankets and curled up against my chest that I don't want to move her.
So slowly, carefully, I inch my arm out from under Nya, careful not to disturb her slumber. Then I sit up with as much silence as I can muster and get off the bed. She frowns a little bit and reaches out a hand, as if looking for something, but then turns over and falls back into the deep sleep she had before.
I take one last look around the room. It's shadowy even though there's a light on, because the dark outside is so deep. My nunchucks are on a cluttered table. I reach out one hand and grab them, I hadn't used them until now because I thought fighting wasn't the answer. But fighting is the way we always solve problems as ninja. Violence. Something I don't like. Something that needs to be done. I would rather use words, but Cole doesn't deserve any more chances. I agree with Nya that I just want him gone.
"Bye." I say with a quivering voice. Be brave. Be strong.
Be a hero.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm back in the training room because that's the only place I can think to go. I know Cole will show up soon. I don't know how, but I do.
The silent darkness is stifling. In fact, I can hardly breathe. I'm very aware of how quickly my heart is beating in my chest. Hearts ripped out. Cole is horrible. He killed everyone. We used to be friends. Best friends. We fought because that was what kept us close. Not because we hated each other.
He's the black ninja because that's the color of his heart.
"Very metaphorical of you." Cole, or the demon, is all of a sudden standing in front of me. He really needs to stop appearing in random places.
"How..." I start.
"I can predict what you're thinking. All of you are so-predictable. You never try anything new. I can see anything coming."
"Then you know I'm here to finish you." I say. INTIMIDATE.
"Your intimidating voice is really something. Do you practice?" Demon Cole says, chuckling a bit to himself, but not Cole's normal laugh. This is hollow and honestly, disturbing. "Yes, I know you're going to get all heroic and sacrifice yourself by using the full extent of your power. Didn't Zane already do that?"
"I don't need to hear your commentary. I'm trying to get in the zone here. You do realize I'm planning to kill you? Aren't you even a little nervous, Cole?" Of course. I said what I was thinking again. I stand a little taller, trying to seem bigger than my small frame will allow. It's science. If you appear bigger it inspires fear.
"Your nature channel strategy won't scare me." And then Cole suddenly goes from amused to threatening. "I could rip you limb from limb if I so chose. Right here. Right now. Nya would hear your screams but it would be too late. You'd already be dead."
I swallow, shrinking back. Be brave, be brave, be brave. Get yourself together. Don't back down.
"But I'm not going to kill you just yet. You know why?"
Cole moves quickly, and in a hearbeat I'm pinned against a wall, struggling against his death grip.
"I won't kill you because I haven't broken you. And I've really been looking forward to it."
A strangled squeak escapes me.
"Go ahead. Scream for your 'knight in shining armor'. She won't hear! You make so much noise but nobody listens." Cole's face is near to mine. I can smell the metallic odor of blood emanating from him, as well as something else I can't place. I try to move my head away, but Cole only comes in closer.
"Nobody cares about you, Jay. Not Zane, or Kai, or Lloyd, or Sensei, or your parents. Definitely not me. And most of all, not Nya." The words cut into me deeper than any talons could. They're familiar.
"I can't believe you thought you'd actually be able to beat me at something, Jay. You've never bested me at anything. You're the worst ninja. The weakest, the dumbest, the one that never helps. Nobody likes you. You never save the day. You're never heroic like the rest of us." The things I've always known as truth, but repressed. Hearing them out loud only makes them worse.
"Nya doesn't love you. She never has! How could she, when there's always been me?" I thought I had no more tears left to cry yet here they are again, spilling down my cheeks in the ever-constant waterfall.
"You're weak. You're hapless. You're a crybaby, and you can't do anything without help." Words I've heard before, constantly whispered in my mind.
"It's always been Jay at second-best, Jay who can't do a single thing, weak Jay, pathetic Jay, scared Jay, Jay who needs to be saved." The little voices in my head can be so cruel. Cole repeating what they say is even worse.
Demon Cole's black, black eyes stare into mine. He's expectant, watching, searching for something. He still has me pinned to the wall in a way that gives me no hope of ever escaping. I'm trying to kick him, shock him, kill him, but it's no use because I am not powerful. I am weak. Nya doesn't love me, and she never will. I can't do anything. I'm helpless.
"Jay, all alone."
I'm alone.
A smile contorts Cole's features. His smile used to be something everyone liked to look at. Now it only strikes terror into the hearts of all who behold it. Before he rips them out.
"I was right. That was fun." Cole says. He lets go of me, letting me drop to the ground in a heap. I can't move.
Worthless. Nothing. Stupid. Crybaby. Annoying.
Alone.
"Although I am feeling rather bloodthirsty today. I think you are going to help me lure Nya in. What do you think? Is that a good idea, Jay?"
Unable to stop Cole's plan.
"Oops, I forgot I don't value your opinion."
I could probably just die now and nobody would care.
I've had those thoughts before too.
"You might want to brace yourself." Cole leans down to whisper in my ear. His fangs tickle my earlobe. It's horrible.
"This is going to be very painful."
I'm not a hero.
Because heroes win.
Because heroes are loved.
Because heroes fight back.
Heroes don't just lay there in agony while they're being tortured.
Only nothings do that.