Camila's POV
We we're all gathered in Lauren's hospital room. Clara, Normani, Mike, and Dinah had come back. You can feel the tension in the air and all the silence was making it worse. Lauren was still out and my hand remained wrapped around hers.
I hear someone clear their throat. "Camila..." I hear a whisper. When I look next to me I see Normani, she looks really sad. "We need to talk to you. Can you please step out into the hallway with us for a moment?" She asks with hesitation. I shake my head.
"No, I'm staying here. Whatever you need to say you can say it, but I am not moving." I say sternly. She sighs. I hear more footsteps coming over to where we are. When I turn to look at who is there I see that everyone is surrounding Lauren's bed.
Clara speaks up but in a low whisper, "Alright, me and Normani discussed this and now all of you need to know something....I have decided with some input from Mike and Normani that we are going to have an intervention for Lauren. She's going to rehab. I got legal papers from the doctors saying that she is a potential danger to herself so by law she will be checked into a psychiatric hospital for up to two weeks. She has no choice. Camila, we need you to support this decision. You need to know that this is what's best for Lauren. Don't you want what's best for her?"
By now my heart had dropped and I was frozen. My mind felt empty and numb yet overwhelmed by so many emotions. I couldn't cope with the thought of not having Lauren with me. But I needed to support the idea of recovery for her. I want her to get better and I want her to be happy. She might die if this goes on, this needs to stop. It cannot keep going on. I nod and release one of my hands from the grasp of Lauren's hands so that I can clean my face. Tears were flowing freely and I was a mess.
Everybody came and one by one hugged me.
"Tomorrow morning we are going to have the intervention, too much has happened today and Lauren is in no condition to handle that much being thrown on her. Tonight let's talk about what we will say. Does that sound alright?" Normani says. We all nod.
"Alright, I'm pretty sure she'll be asleep all night. She's exhausted. How about we go home since it's getting late? It's only 6:30 but we need to discuss what we will say and get rest because tomorrow is a big day and today has been a tough day. What do you say?" Clara says. Everything is quiet for a moment before everybody but me has agreed. Everyone turns to me and I just keep my eyes on my lap. Ally's voice fills the room a moment later, "Let's go home Mila, you need rest. This isn't healthy for you. You'll get to see her tomorrow. The nurse outside will check in on her and let us know if anything happens, okay? Come on, let's go." She gives me a small gesture to come.
And with that I slowly get up and kiss my beautiful girlfriend's forehead before leaving. Tomorrow is going to be difficult but I need to be there for Lauren. I need to let go and do what is best for her.
~
Lauren's POV
Intervention? Well shit. Great, just my luck. Fucking rehab.
I had awoken to Camila moving her hands a little as she said that she refuses to leave my side and that whatever the person that had been talking to her needs to say they can say it right here. The whole conversation, everything, I had heard. I have no damn choice. The problem here is...I don't want to get better.
I refuse to. I finally see myself as skinny. I like the bones. I know that that is horrible to say but I like it and I don't care what other's think. I don't want to get better. I self harm in order to cope, it is my escape. I drink to escape. The pills are my escape. I starve, I binge, I purge so that I can feel good about myself, so I can escape the pain and feel it in another form. When you feel nothing positive about yourself and all you feel is disgust and hatred, you take measures into your own hands and change it. This is me changing so I can be happy. I'm happy like this. I don't care how miserable I am. The misery is my happiness. They need to fuck off and leave me alone. I don't care if I die, at least I'll die happy and skinny. There is no way in hell I am going.
I open my eyes when I hear my door close. The bright light burns my eyes, causing me to flinch before my eyes adjust. I attempt to sit up but the difficulty reaches its maximum because I can't move. I have no energy whatsoever. I guess I'll have to make a new plan.
Tonight, when the hospital is at it's emptiest after all the visitors have left and the nurses are taking their breaks and/or helping some patient, I'll get up. But for now I'll need energy. And the only way to do that is to face my worst enemy...food.
I click the nurse button on the control installed on the barrier crap they put so you don't fall off the bed. After a minute a nurse comes in. "I see you are awake. What is it you need?"
I work up the little bit of energy I have to talk. "C-Can I please have something to eat? I'm h-hungry." I have to close my eyes when I say I'm hungry because it hurts too much to say those words. I can already feel the fat. The nurse nods and walks out of my room.
After a couple minutes she comes back in with something simple. Some Jello, water, and some mixed fruit in a small cup. "Your stomach won't handle the normal stuff so this is something that your stomach can digest easier, plus you can't handle such huge loads. Like we said, baby steps." She walks out after I nod.
It takes a while but I force myself to eat what I can. I ate some fruit and the jello with a sip of water before I was finally full. The nurse came back an hour later to pick up my tray, after that I was left alone. Now this is going to be a long wait. It's 8. I can't get up til 11-12.
I grab my phone and put an alarm for 11 before laying down and falling back to sleep. The only sleep I'll be getting in a while...
Three hours later
I wake up to a loud beeping coming from my phone. I quickly grab it and dismiss the alarm before I get any attention from the nurses or complaints or noise from other patients. I attempt to get up and this time it was less difficult, still difficult but with less intensity. I grab my clothes which are in a bag next to the nightstand. I quickly take off my clothes and slide on my jeans (which are much bigger on me than I last remembered) and my t-shirt with my hoodie. I put on my beanie and put my phone in my back pocket. I already have a pair of hospital socks on so I put on my converse that are in the corner and quietly sneak out of my hospital room and down the hallway. This time, instead of heading up to the roof, I am going down to the lobby. I go into the elevator and down to the first floor. The moment the door opens I release the breath I was holding in and pretend I am just some random person as I pass by the sleepy attendant who didn't even notice me.
I was finally outside, in the parking lot. I made it. I walk over to the sidewalk and start making the two mile walk to the nearest bank.
When I arrive I am tired beyond anything because of my lack of energy but since I am usually running on no energy, having the energy I have now from the food is actually the most I've had in a while. I walk up to the 24 hour ATM and enter my card number and social security since I don't have my card with me. I take out 500 dollars since that is the maximum amount of money you can take out in a day. I'll take out more tomorrow when the bank is open. I walk over to the curb and watch the cars pass. Eventually I spot a taxi and flag it down. I get in and tell the dude to take me to the nearest motel.
A couple miles later we arrive, I pay him, and then get a room at the motel. I pay in cash and make my way up to my room. Once I'm inside I feel relief wash over me. I take off my shoes and go into the bathroom. They provided me with a toothbrush and a towel. I decide to shower because I haven't in a couple days since I haven't felt like it, mostly because I have to be supervised while I'm showering and I don't want to feel self conscious. I can shower in peace now. The hot water in the shower feels good against my pale skin. It flows into my fragile hair and down my body. I don't know how long i'm in there but what I do know is that I used that time to feel peace and think everything through. Once I'm out I brush my teeth and put on my bra and underwear. I dab my wet hair with the towel, but not really up for drying it. So I go to bed in just my bra and underwear along with my hoodie since my upper body was really cold. My hair was still wet but I didn't care. I go to bed and fall asleep with no problem, feeling happy that I no longer am in that stupid hospital and about to be forced to get help when I don't want it.
~
The next morning I wake up fairly early, just as the sun it coming up. I decide to make an early morning run to the bank. I get up and throw on my jeans and brush my teeth, I grab my room key and my phone before walking out and walking to the bank. By the time I arrive the morning sun is up and the bank is just opening. When I walk in, a man walks up to me and asks what can he help me with. I just vaguely answer that I need to make a withdraw from my bank account. He nods and brings me to the counter. I give him my card number and social security and after a couple more security measures he finally believes I am the cardholder.
"How much do you want withdrawn?" He asks.
"All of it. Even from the savings account." I say. He looks surprised.
"What is all of this for?" He asks suspiciously.
"I have been saving up for this deal with a business that is willing to give me the chance to record an album but the thing is that since I'm not signed to any record label I have to pay them. And if I make them any sales they will sign me to their label. But along with that album I need to make trips to other countries for promotion. And those plane tickets are expensive because they go to Europe and South America. I have to pay for my transportation. So all of these savings are for that. I'm hoping for the best." I say with a fake smile. He eyes me for a moment before smiling and taking out all of my savings which add up to 400,000 dollars because of my main bank account that holds what I earn. I'm taking everything out. The man asks me to sign an agreement or something like that. He said it was mandatory because of the huge amount of money I am taking out of my account. I signed it and he wished me luck with my supposed "career". I walked out and put the huge stack of money in my two front jean pockets and my hoodie pockets. I kept walking until I reached some random clothing store. I bought a black backpack with a wallet. I bought a couple shirts, underwear, bras, socks, jackets, and jeans. I only bought what I can carry in my backpack. The backpack is fairly big so I somehow fit everything in the bag. I placed the money in the wallet and the wallet in the outside pocket of my back pack.
I walked to a gas station that was right around the corner and bought a water bottles, some pain medication,a hair brush, and a tooth brush. The walk back to the motel wasn't that far but I was already exhausted and my feet hurt. But I kept on walking until I reached my very room, where I plopped right down on the bed. I took out everything I bought and took off all the tags. I left out a shirt, a jacket, and a pair of jeans with new socks, underwear, and a bra. I took off what I was wearing and went to take another shower to take off the little bit of sweat I had gotten out. It felt good wearing that new clothes instead of those same clothes I've worn several times. These clothes are nice and clean. I brushed my hair, took some pain medication for my pulsing headache, and folded everything before placing it all in the backpack. I put the backpack by the door and turned off all the lights before putting an alarm on my phone for later in the afternoon when I'd have to leave again. Soon I was back asleep. There is no way I was going to rehab. Not now. They can forget about me because I'm not coming back...