A/N:
I'm trying to keep this story going. As I already said multiple times by now, it's really important for me to finish this, and trust me, I am not going to cancel this.
You would have to rip the keyboard from my dead hands.
This chapter might be a little confusing at first, but it actually is supposed to explain everything. It all slowly falls in place, just be patient c:
Heavy warnings for this chapter! Descriptive violence, blood, death, gore, all of it.
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04/30:
Impossible. Simply impossible. Ridiculous even.
"Excuse me, miss?"
Jumping at the sudden sound of a voice right in front of her, Yuzuki turned her head. Eyes greatly widened, mouth also opened as a result of her jaw dropping, she stared at the man behind the counter.
"Are you alright?"
Even if she would have had listened to his words, she couldn't have thought of a proper reply. But since she didn't even pay attention to his question in the first place, she kept staring at him puzzled, before her eyes trailed off to the source of confusion once again.
The mere sight of it made her hands tremble and she felt faint and dizzy. Her focus lingered on that person, as if her eyes were glued to their figure firmly.
"I– I'm, uh... sorry, how much was it?" she quickly asked within a short breath and immediately regretted that decision. Feeling as if there was no more air reaching her lungs, she somehow ended up suffering from a coughing fit.
"Miss, do you want me to call someone?" the cashier proceeded asking in a worried manner. His try-hard sooth voice and careful choice of words left her even more startled. Was it that obvious that she had a hard time processing what was going on? Was she freaking out that much right now? Why couldn't she calm down? "A doctor, perhaps?"
Furiously shaking her head, since words had no place in between thick coughs, Yuzuki reached for her purse. Shaking fingers made it hard for her to grab the bill. At the time, she kind of felt like operating the world's tiniest bomb. One wrong move and everything would be blown into bits and pieces.
That person, of course, noticed the fuss the girl was making. As their attention was drawn to her and their eyes met, she froze for a second. Anxiety rushed through her entire body.
The strange sensation of paralyzation, confusion, fear, – strangely enough – felt all too familiar. At the time, her mind went blank and she couldn't recall the exact moment she had ever felt like this before, but she was absolutely sure. There was no way she could have been wrong about this.
It all came crashing down on her and she felt, as if her body actually was squished beneath the incredibly weight of this anxiety, that she could hardly express in any words.
If she was to believe in a God, this would have been the time for her to pray. To pray, she was wrong. To pray, this person was not who she assumed them for. But she knew better than that.
Praying was no use.
And the possibilities of her mistaking them for someone else were basically zero.
Back in the days, even the homo sapiens knew there were two logical tactics. Two ways to react to danger: fight or flee. To pick the coward way of running away sometimes was essential to stay safe. And so Yuzuki chose the wise way.
"Keep the change," she quickly muttered and placed the bill on the counter in a hectic manner, before grabbing her bags and turning away.
She didn't care about the fact, that she just spent Izaya's money, worth an entire week, for a stop at the grocery store, only to get ingredients for dinner. She didn't care about the fact, that he surely enough was going to be quite angry because of it.
She just cared about the urgent need to leave as soon as possible.
Ignoring the cashier's perplexed face, she proceeded to approach the door with big steps. Once the automatic door opened, she froze once again. But it had not only been the chill wind that sent shivers down her spine.
That voice made her freeze to the core.
"Wait! You dropped something," they said, their voice right behind Yuzuki's figure.
She wanted to ignore it, pretend she didn't hear them and just keep on walking, but unfortunately for her, that person had other intentions. They kind of ran in front of her, their hand offering her the bottle of water she had dropped.
Her stomach felt heavy and a sour taste harassed her tongue, stained her teeth and filled her entire mouth up to her throat. If she allowed herself to gulp now, she feared she might throw up.
"...sick," she mumbled with a hoarse voice from her dry throat.
"Come again?" he asked.
At the sound of his voice, Yuzuki's hands gripped tightly onto the grocery bags. She clenched her teeth as she basically ripped the bottle from the man's hand and ran past him without granting him another word nor even a simple look in the eye.
She could never manage to look up at him. Never.
As fast as her legs could carry her, she began running and taking so many twists and turns, that even the familiar streets of Ikebukuro suddenly seemed like an endless maze.
However, she thought it to be quite relatable. Not that she exactly understood the situation, but she knew she had to run from him. She knew it was necessary, she knew it was important. Otherwise something horrible could have happened.
Ultimately, she found herself at the all too familiar apartment that belonged to none other than the informant Orihara Izaya. Using her keys to open the door, she was greeted by the usual "Aaah, there you are!", followed by the raven spinning around on his chair, before getting up and approaching her.
"Now, what took you so long, Tsuski-chan?" he sighed theatrically and sarcastically. "You're so pale, too. Don't tell me you've seen a ghost."
At his words, Yuzuki's muscles tensed up.
"Don't be silly. And stop call me that," she simply replied through still clenched teeth as she began spreading the groceries on the table.
"My, my. No need to be so grumpy, is there?" Izaya chuckled, his arms slowly snaking around her waist from behind. "But I guess you're right. Sad to think, that something like the after-life is just a mere human imagination. A wishful way of thinking. Or used to scare little kids and you."
For once, Yuzuki couldn't stand his mocking attitude. His characteristics that made him speak philosophically about stuff that didn't even matter, as if he was a small child excited over the most trivial things. She couldn't stand him teasing her on purpose like that. Not today.
Turning around, so she was now leaning with her back against the edge of the table, while Izaya still had his arms wrapped around her, she was now facing him. She shot him a glare of annoyance and furrowed her brows.
"You're one to talk. Out of the two of us, it's you, who's behaving like a five year old after all," she hissed, using more of an angry tone than a sarcastic one. "Now let go off me, unless you want to go to bed without having eaten dinner."
"Yuzuki," Izaya said.
He didn't use his usual amused sound. It wasn't that he was 100% serious. There was something about him at the moment, something the girl couldn't put a finger on. She didn't knew how to describe it, she didn't want to either. Everything about the informant scared her at the time.
At first, she blamed the earlier meeting with that person for her being so on the edge and jumpy, but that wasn't quite it. Something about Izaya's current way of acting made her feel so small and vulnerable all of the sudden.
Looking quietly into the raven's ruby eyes, she patiently waited for him to continue, expecting a speech, anything. But the seconds went on in silence and made her feel more uncomfortable with each.
"I'm sorry," Yuzuki suddenly blurted out. She hadn't even noticed herself that the words slipped past her lips, but they did.
It's all my fault, her thoughts added, but her vocal chords remained silent.
Izaya's frown once again turned into a smile, but that particular grin differed from his usual ones. Once again, she couldn't explain how exactly it was different, but it was. It might have looked the same, but it didn't feel the same at all.
His hands wandered around on her back and his grip tightened as he pulled her closer to him, so that she was now pressed against his chest.
"Don't worry," he hummed, fingers playing with her hair. "It's all settled and fine."
"I feel sick," Yuzuki repeated her words from earlier, at the grocery store, mouthing them only, having her lips speak it toneless in the black fabric of Izaya's shirt. In an attempt to calm down and pull herself together properly, the girl closed her eyes and tried to relax.
Instead of the expected darkness that would have naturally come along with her closing her eyelids, scenes, all too familiar flashed through her mind.
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"There's no need to worry anymore, sis."
The sickening thick smell ambushed the little girl. If she could, she would have made a run, but she was paralyzed. Something forced her to stare at the cruel scene before her very eyes.
Never had a stench this horrible and gross reached her nose. Never had a view this shocking and disgusting reached her innocent eyes.
"What did you do?" she asked, her voice trembling and matching her shaking knees, her shaking hands, the anxiety controlling her tensed muscles as she started backing up slowly.
"What do you mean? I did this to protect you, sis," he answered. His once calm and kind voice suddenly caused shivers running down the girl's spine. This person, this stranger, this murderer could not have been her brother. Could it?
"Sis?" he then asked with a voice that was so sickening familiar that she was frightened more each second. "Why are you crying?"
The little girl shut her eyes closed, rubbed her eyelids and clenched her teeth. "I'm not crying!" she retorted as she covered her face with tiny hands in denial.
This was not real, this was just a bad dream.
She told herself over and over again, but when she dared to open her eyes again, they again caught a view, that now made her throw up immediately.
When a taste that was sour and bitter at the same time, filled your mouth at a time like this, while you felt your insides were going to burst from the pain, you wouldn't waste time wondering what the true reason was. Yuzuki did question it, though.
Had it been, because she was crying this hard, that she could hardly even breath or gulp properly?
Had it truly been only the sight of the bodies of her dead parent's spread on the floor that had been painted red by not only blood, but also what seemed to be guts and organs, explaining the unbearable stench in the entire house?
Had it been the shocking fact, that it was none other than her own brother standing in the middle of the room, a blood stained knife in his hands, a blood stained smile on his face?
"There's no need to worry anymore, sis."
He repeated his words over and over again, his wide eyes staring at her. The thought of that voice of his once reassuring her of what a great family they used to be, granted only more tears to run down her cheek.
Spitting on the floor in a poor attempt to get rid of the taste of vomit and fear was no use. Even though she thought it was impossible, she once again tensed up even more, when she heard the sound of a footstep near her.
"Leave me alone!" she squealed, when he tried to approach her.
One step from him in her direction was all it needed for her to turn around immediately and run as fast as her legs could carry her. She didn't care that she wasn't wearing any shoes, she didn't care that her bare feet hurt from walking, she didn't care about any pools her skin hit. The rain was none of her concern, neither was the cold wind blowing straight into her face.
All she did worry about was her brother, the person she loved so dearly, the person whom she thought of as trustworthy, chasing behind her with a knife in his hands. A knife that he had used to slaughter their parents just a short while ago.
Why?
"Yuzuki, don't run away!"
Why?
"You'll catch a cold in the rain, Yuzuki!"
Why?
"Gotcha."
Feeling someone grabbing her arm, she started screaming and throwing punches. But there was no chance of her brother letting go of her, his grip tightened and he didn't bother to listen to her cries.
"Let go! Let me go!" she whined and tried pulling, punching, kicking, biting, tried so desperately to free herself from his deadly grip.
"Never," he only replied, holding her tiny fists in his hands that were wet due to a warm, crimson red liquid. "Not now that I've finally managed to protect you and keep you safe from everyone else."
"LET GO!" Yuzuki again squealed as she kicked him again. She managed to hit him in the stomach this time, catching him off guard. Since she pulled back at the same time and he loosened his grip, she felt herself losing balance and finally falling backwards.
The boy reacted quickly, as he tried to reach out to her, but he as well stumbled and ultimately fell.
Both of them ended up slipping and falling to the ground with a crash, rolling a few inches in the grass. These few inches, however, were more than enough to open them a door to fatality.
Trying to hold onto something, anything, was no use. His hand slipped on anything he tried to grip, since the rain chose to be his enemy for tonight. Yuzuki, too, felt herself falling down the abyss. Her brother being the taller and therefore heavier one, was the first to crash on the ground.
The sound that was better off not being described would surely haunt the girl for the rest of her life.
Not that she thought it would last that long anymore anyway, since she neither had managed to recollect her balance. Positive that she too would crack her skull open on the ground below, Yuzuki shut her eyes and waited for it to end.