I know I said I was going to start my Valedictorian speech like a week ago, but I ended up getting distracted and finishing it last night...it's like I couldn't find anytime. If I wasn't with Robert then I was doing homework, if I wasn't doing homework then I was sleeping, if I wasn't sleeping then I was at the police station with Robert giving information to help with the investigation. Once the police realized that Sam had molested me before and that there was a past..they took the investigation into more depth, which really pissed me off cus I really don't need drama, atleast not this week. Graduation is Sunday and I am so nervous...I'm having one of those stupid playbacks in my mind like me walking up to get my diploma and then face planting infront of everyone. The fact that Robert only egged on my anxiety about fucking up didn't help either...but he was of some help considering the fact that he helped me write my speech last night..only cus I forced him to. I had noticed something strange though, everytime we started to get deeper into our kissing and things got more intense, he would pull away and then go and do something else..it's as if he was avoiding being physical with me anymore, and to be honest that bummed me out because Robert is the one who started me off into having sex and often to say the least, whenever he wanted it he got it..which was like all the time...and now it's like there is no type of sexual desire from him..it's frustrating. Even though we were on the school bus on our way to the Waterpark as apart of Senior's week, time was dragging so much ...the day seemed like it would never end.
As I got off the bus and pushed through the crowd of people the senior teachers who came along on the trip started to call names off of their roster. I heard my name called and I already knew who's voice was calling me..even though I couldn't see him through the crowd, I knew. I walked over to Robert and stood near him as he continued to read names off the list. There were about 12 people in Robert's group..the only one I recognized was Clyde, but him and I didn't talk anymore since that stunt he pulled at Ryan's party. Robert read off his clip board, "Alright you guys, meet back here at the buses at 2:00 p.m it's 10 a.m...if you aren't here by then we will leave your ass here. " he looked at the group seriously and then cracked a smile, "Just kiddin..but seriously, don't make me have to look for you. Alright go ahead." he said while stepping to the side, I stood in the back of the group as Robert walked behind me, I smiled, "I love water parks ..they are so fun, are you going to get on anything?" he twitched his mouth, "Uh..I don't know.." he said while looking at a water slide as girl passed by on it, all that was heard was her high pitched scream. I smirked and looked at him, "Pussy?" he looked at "Do I look like a pussy to you?" he said while gesturing at him self..I scoffed, "Well you sound like one." he looked away and kept walking next to me..."Shutup." he said while pouting and I started to laugh, he smiled a bit, "Pus pus pus pusssay." I said as we reached the lawn chairs, everyone started to pick their own chairs and put their things down on them ....I was wiggling out of my short short's and I took off my shirt, I stood infront of Robert in my peach orange bikini. He looked at my body but he did it in a way that wasn't obvious so that others wouldn't notice...I put my bag down on the chair and looked at him, "Well I guess since you're a pussycake, you can sit here and watch my stuff, yea?" I flashed him a cheeky smile before I walked past him and to the slides. He glared at me and I just laughed...I never knew Robert was afraid of water slides.
I ended up hanging around the water park with that girl Beth...we had already gotten on like six water rides...I was walking to the conscesion stand when I felt somebody poked my sides I turned around to see Robert shirtless in swim trunks and flip flops, I smiled. "Are you hungry?" he asked while I waited inline..I shrugged, "I just want some icecream." he nodded..and I bought my icecream, "So..decided to not be a puss anymore?" he smirked "I will get on the biggest ride here, point me to it and I will get on." I laughed.."Alright...hmmm" I turned around, and saw a gigantic slide that dropped straight down.."That one." I said while taking a bite of my icecream..he looked at it and then started walking..I followed quickly behind him laughing to myself..I thought he would chicken out..but he did it, he climbed all the way up to the top of the stairs and without hesistating he sat down and dropped. He didn't even make a sound. I met him at the end of the slide, he got out of the water and shook the water off his head like a dog..I smiled.."impressive" he started walking, "I think my heart came out of my mouth somewhere on that ride." I started laughing.."You're okayy, I'm surpised you went through with it." he smirked and walked over to his towel "Of course I did..I'm awesome." I rolled my eyes and went on some rides with him.
Soon enough it was 2:00 and I was already back in the school parking lot. I said bye to Robert when I got off the bus, and Ivy came with me to pick up our Prom Dresses. As we were driving to the store she started to complain, "I'm starting to have second thoughts about going...I'm gonna look stupid." I looked over at her, "What? how?" she looked at her belly.."I'm not letting you miss prom just because you're pregnant." she sighed and rubbed her belly, "Are you and Josh gonna match?" she smiled.."Yea he got his tux yesterday.." "That's good." "Are you and Robert gonna match?" I laughed..."He brought that up to me too....but it's not like we can go as a couple like you and Josh, he is a teacher ya know." "Oh yea...soo what are you guys gonna do?" I pulled into the store parking lot, "He is going as a Prom chaperone...teachers were picked to do that and he volunteered so that he could use that as an excuse for going." Ivy laughed, "Oh shit, you guys are gonna get your juke on?" I unbuckled my seatbelt and laughed, "Noo way in hell."
We picked up our dresses and I fell more inlove with my gown...it was perfect..and I'm not even a dressy kind of girl, but I couldn't wait to get in that dress. Ivy's dress was gold with diamonds on the sleeves, it didn't make her belly stick out even more which was good. When I dropped Ivy off at home I got a text from Robert, I smiled
I laughed at his reply and drove home. I showed my dress to my mom and she started getting all emotional..I told her to save it for Friday and she rolled her eyes at me.
-3 days later-
Today is basically the last day that we have in our classes, because since tomorrow is Prom night, Seniors don't have to come to school..and Sunday is Graduation..I can't believe the end of my high school career is here.
I was sitting at lunch bored as fuck when Ivy came over to me..."Are you going to the cabin after prom?" she asked as I took a bite fro my nutella sandwhich. "I'm not sure, are you?" "Nah..the babys coming soon, I don't wanna take any chances you know?" I smiled "That's true..are you guys excited?" We both looked over to Josh who was standing around talking to some guys at a different table. The way she looked at him, I could tell she was inlove.."Yea.." she said while smiling at him.."Things are actually stable for once in my life...getting pregnant has actually opened my eyes to how fucking reckless I was dude...smoking and selling pot, getting drunk..partying all the time..random hookups..I didn't give a fuck about anything...not even my own life and now I have this other life to raise...it's crazy." "You're gonna be a great mom Ivy..and maybe this is the way things were supposed to be you know like destiny?" she nodded.."Yea I believen that."
As I was walking to Robert's class Chris stopped me in the hallway, "Hey Amanda, how's that foot?" "It's getting better I'm not gonna be on my crutches tomorrow or Sunday so it'll look like I'm limping...alot." I smiled, "Well that's good to hear..so I'll see you at prom?" I furrowed my eyebrows.."I'm going as a Chaperone." he said reasonably..and I nodded, "Oh? So is Mr. Downey, well then yea I'll see you there tomorrow." "Nice, I'm sure you will look stunning." he said with a smile as he walked away, I smiled abit to myself as I continued to walk to 4th period. When I got there Robert was setting up the t.v. As everyone sat down and he finished setting it up he started clapping a bit, "Alright everyone....Hey...HEY!" everyone quited down and looked at Robert. He smirked, "So there are like 5 movies here you guys can choose what you want since it's your last day...unless you failed, then sucks for you..so here we go." he lifted the first DVD box and showed it around, "Raise your hands if you want to watch 'Radio'." ..no one raised their hand, he rolled his eyes, "Wow no-type of taste in movies here I see, sorry Cuba." he said as he looked at the case and set it down, everyone laughed.."Ok how about this one?" he raised up 'The Addams Family Values' and everyone raised their hand..including me, he looked at us all, "Are you kidding me? Ya know what...I shouldn't be suprised." he turned around and put the DVD in and sauntered back to his desk, he leaned back in his chair and threw is feet up and over his desk. Everyone just watched the movie until the end of the period, I enjoyed it,I always loved The Addams Family. As I filed out of the room with everyone else, I looked over at Robert and he blew me a kiss and gave me a exagerated wink, I just stuck my tongue out at him and left.
After school I had to borrow a box from Robert's room to empty out my locker, it was actually a pretty sad time. He held the box as I put my stuff in, he saw my sadface, "I know you're sad you won't see me in my teachimg mode anymore...I'd be sad to...but cheer up baby." I looked up and glared at him as he bit his lip and snickered, I grabbed my jacket from the hook and slammed the locker shut, "This is a sad time!"..he chuckled as we walked towards my car, "I know, I know..but now you have the rest of your life to plan, this stage is over." I leaned on my car door as he put the box in the back seat, "But it's scary...planning my life..I don't know. I don't want to think about this, not now it makes me nervous." He smiled at me and rubbed my arm, "Don't worry kiddo, you'll find your way." I glared at him and sat in my car, he knew I hated being called "kiddo" he looked at me dumbfounded, "What? what's with the face?" "Old Man!" I said as I quickly closed my door and locked it, I laughed at him from inside the car as he gave me an evil face, he pointed at me as he walked away and I just started laughing even more.
I woke up with the biggest headache, I got up and took some advil. I walked back up into my room and looked at my dress that was hanging off the edge of my mirror, "Today's the day...wooo." I quietly said to myself. I looked at the time, '12:00 p.m.' alright I have 5 hours to be ready. I called Ivy, "Hey are we still gonna get our hair done? and nails or whatever?" "Yea come pick me up so we can ride together?" "Okay." I hung up and put on some running shorts and a t-shirt and flip flops I walked downstairs and into the kitchen, I grabbed my keys and my wallet and a muffin that was on the table, my mom was looking in the fridge, "Hey mom..I'm going to get my hair done and stuff..I'll be back soon." "Alright sweetie." I turned around and walked out the door and to my car...time for the long day to begin.
Ivy was wearing pretty much the same thing as me..we got to the salon and told the ladies how we wanted our hair, Ivy stayed true to her short pixie hair style and just had it trimmed a bit, I had my hair pulled back and a bit up with my bangs swept to the side, and we decided to have our makeup done there to. I got a french white manicure and kept it simple. By the time we left the salon and walked to our cars it was already, '4:30 p.m.' "So you're coming to my house right?" Ivy nodded, "Yea Josh rented the limo for everyone so when we have picked everyone up we will stop by and get you okay?" "Alright cool." I got in my car and drove home quickly, so that I could put my dress and heels on.
I walked down my front steps and all my friends (other wise known as the norm group) were standing on my front lawn next to my mom and dad and brother and sister...my mom was getting emotional again, I walked over to them and mom made us pose for like 50 pictures, as a group, with each person, my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister everyone. It was kind if embarassing. As I stood next to my dad for our picture he looked at me, "You look gorgeous sweetheart...you deserve tonight, you have your mom and me getting all sappy." he said while shoulder bumping me, I smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks dad." As we took one more picture before leaving...I didn't feel as happy as I should, you know like 'Oh my god this is it! It's Prom!' I didn't feel that at all...and in a sense I envied my friends, their dates were here..everyones date was here and I was alone...sure I'd see Robert later but it wasn't the way it's supposed to be. I'm guessing my mom noticed and hugged me before I got in the limo, "Don't be discouraged honey...you know if Robert could he would be here right now participating in all this." I nodded and smiled, "I know..thanks mom." she kissed my cheek and I got into the limo. The ride there was great, as I was in the limo and we drove through time square, the city looked beautiful..the sun was setting and the lights were bright..I forgot about the feeling I had earlier. As we arrived at The Plaza Hotel..my breath was taken away, there was a sign in the front that read, 'Jericho Valley High School Prom 2013.' All the limos and party busses formed a line through the circular drive-in, everyone exited their limos in their gowns and tuxedos..this was the fancyest I've ever looked and place I've ever been to, I felt like a celebrity or something.
As we entered the front doors and people followed the loud bass of the music playing in the ballroom, I still hadn't seen Robert. When I walked into the ballroom, I was shocked...it was gorgeous..the room was huge, which was a good thing because my graduating class was almost 2,000 people. I looked at Ivy and she looked shocked.too, "I didn't know The Plaza had ballrooms." she said as she looked around..Josh was standing next to her with his hand on her side, he cleaned up well..he looked at Ivy, "This is also like a convention center.. si that's what goes on here." Ivy nodded her head and we all started to look for a table where we would all fit. We ended up finding a table near the dance floor where all 6 of us could fit. I sat next to Ryan...he didn't have a date either so most of the time we stayed around eachother and talked. I was suprised he didn't have a date...he was pretty cute and cool, maybe he just didn't want one.
Before I knew it...it was already almost 10:20 p.m. the dance ends at 11:30...I had danced a bit with Ryan thinking maybe I'd see Robert around somewhere on the dance floor...but I didn't..I called him but his phone went straight to voicemail..I hadn't seen him at all, and to be honest I felt as if my prom was just completely ruined...Robert was the only person I cared to be around and who I wanted to be with on this night, and I had no clue where he was. I looked around the drink and food table's he wasn't there...I looked around where the other chaperone's were...he wasn't there either. I was standing by the drink table getting a coke, when someone came from behind me, "I was right...you look stunning." I turned around, I already knew by the sound of his voice it was Chris, my heart sunk a bit. I looked at him..he had on a grey suit with a black tie and white dress shirt...he looked good as always. I gave him a fake smile, "Thanks." ..he looked at me and frowned, "What is it?" ...I looked down, "I don't think my date is coming." he lost his frown and looked at me.."If he doesn't then he is truely a dumbass." I looked at him, everything started to feel hot around me, I felt humid. "I'm gonna use the bathroom." I lied while giving him a sad smile. I quickly walked through the crowd of people I went through a little doorway and opened the door. Which brought me outside on a balcony towards the front of the hotel. I guess no one else knew about this area, I looked over the railing at the city... it looked beautiful. I heard a couple footsteps and I thought it was Chris...I was going to snap, I really didn't want to deal with him. I felt two hands slip onto my waist and his head on my shoulder. "Here you are." he said quietly, I turned and saw that it was Robert..."I was looking for you this whole time." I said while looking away..he leaned against the railing.."I'm sorry..there was so much fucking traffic and I had to pick up my tux and then I couldn't find you in there...I was talking to Ivy when I thought you might of gone outside for a bit." I smiled.."You know me well." he kissed my cheek and turned me towards him, "So..." he said as he grabbed a little box and opened it.."I thought that since this is your Prom..." he paused while he took the white/beige corsage out with little purple flowers in between them, "And I am your date..." he paused again as he grabbed my hand and slid on the corsage, "That I should get you this." I looked at it and smiled, "Oh my god....it's so beautiful." He grinned and looked at me, "You look so beautiful." he brought his hands up and cupped my cheeks, "You look beautiful too." I said quietly he chuckled.. and said "Oh thanks." He really did look hot though, he had black fitted dress pants on with brown dress shoes, and a black dress coat that was buttoned, a white collar, and he had on a black dress shirt with a white bow tie. We kissed and then put our foreheads against eachother. That's when a slow song came on, we could hear the music clearly from out there..he pulled back and held out his hand..."May I have this dance?" he said in a serious deep voice..I giggled and put my hand in his, "Yes." he pulled me closer to him and he wrapped my hands around his kneck and put his hands around my waist. The song was so perfect with the moment..it was 'Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt' it was one of those things that can't be repeated..it was just well ...perfect. (everyone should listen to this song, lol.)
-"Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun, Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right."-
"Can I tell you something?" I said quietly as I moved my head from his forehead and rested it on his shoulder, he leaned his head against mine, "mhm." "This is the first time I have ever slow danced." I could hear the smile on his lips, "Well as usual...I'm honored." I smiled and just kept my head rested on his shoulder as we slowly moved back and forth to the music.
-"Took your soul out into the night. It may be over but it won't stop there, I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when, My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand. Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when I wake,You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be.
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.We've had our doubts but now we're fine, And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time, When I'm kneeling at your feet. Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow. I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow."-
Even after the song ended and a different song came on...I kept my head rested on his shoulder and he kept his arms wrapped around me, we just moved back and forth overlooking Time Square ..slowly dancing in the moonlight.
_________________
Holycrap this chapter took forever to write ._. sorry. To all those who commented for me not to get rid of the story you're right, it's not fair to those who haven't copied me and who have been reading my book since the beginning. So I won't stop writing the book, but I will be messaging those who are stealing ideas of my story. BTW i noticed.some people there to be a Prom so I had to redo somethings to fit that in.. there is a pic of Amanda (emma watson) i. her dress:) good ideas keep em coming! Thanks for the patience and support. VOTE-COMMENT please&thank you. :)