I sit next to Jake’s bed with my head in my hands absolutely shaken. I mean, the guy confessed and then decided to crack his head open on the sidewalk like some suicidal proof of his love for me. Doesn’t that only happen in those Shakespeare books?
I feel like an idiot. When he fell I felt like laughing since we’d been stuck in the rain for a while and he’d chosen that particular moment to lose his footing. Then when he didn’t sit back up again, grumbling off any bruises or scratches, I started to panic. I fell to the ground next to him and started shaking his shoulder, calling his name. I’d patted his head slightly and my hands came away bloody. My heart had stopped in that moment as I watched the blood trickle through my fingers to wash away with the water pouring relentlessly from the sky.
That’s when I started to cry. I grabbed at his shirt and shook him harder in desperation, calling his name and slapping his cheeks waiting for him to get up grumpily and ask me what the heck I was doing.
Common sense kicked in after a few minutes and I pulled out my phone, dialling 911. After I’d told the woman on the other line what had happened as calmly as I could I tried calling Claire. I called just about every McLane phone I could find in my contacts but not a single one picked up.
By the time the ambulance had driven up I was still sitting on the road next to Jake, holding his hand and just hoping my stupid freak-out hadn’t done anything and that he was totally ok.
After the paramedics had figured out I was fine and Jake was the one who needed help, they slowly reeled out of me what had happened. Once we were in the vehicle, zooming on our way to hospital they’d deduced that the injury wasn’t fatal, but I didn’t know that.
When he was wheeled off inside the hospital I was made to wait in a sterile corridor. Completely clueless as to what was going to happen to him, a gathering puddle of water surrounding the chair I’d been seated in. I’d wrapped my arms around myself, trying to find some comfort. I hadn’t felt so alone and hopeless in a long time.
After sitting in that hallway, just praying that Jake was ok for what seemed like hours, a nurse walked up to me, carrying a bundle of clothes. She’d led me to the room Jake had been put in and the doctor had told me that he was actually A ok. He’d just split the skin at the back of his head and passed out. I’d felt like beating the crap out of Jake as relief had flooded through me. How dare he scare me like that!
The doctor had said I could stay with him till a family member arrived and he left, forgetting to tell me wether Jake was going to wake up…
*
I look up as the idiot himself starts to groan. I put my hand out to touch him but find myself hovering above his arm, worried that I’ll hurt him in some way. His eyes drift towards me and he looks at me questioningly, only half-awake.
“What’s going on?” he groans, “What the hell is wrong with my head?” I don’t even realise I’m crying till his hand reaches out and brushes the tears off my cheeks, “Hey,” he says softly, “What’s wrong? Are you hurt or something?”
His large warm hand wraps around my own, making me feel tiny in comparison and I bring it up to my face, leaning against it, “You’re such an idiot,” I laugh through the tears, trying to stop myself from being so over-emotional, “You slipped and nearly cracked your head open.” Another laugh racks my body but it turns into a sob, “You idiot.” I choke out.
He lies there for a moment in silence before groaning again, “I wound up in hospital because I tripped? It’s not even a cool reason.”
I laugh again, squeezing his hand, “Trust you to worry about something like that.”
He smirks, “Were you worried about me?”
I stare at him, “You – where – on – the – ground – bleeding.” I say slowly and clearly. “Did you expect me to start up a ballroom waltz?”
He smiles slightly but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he stares steadily at me with his deep blue eyes and I start to feel a blush rising to my cheeks as I remember Jake’s confession. I know he’s thinking about the confession too. His selective telepathic powers love cropping up at the wrong times…
The little scenario I conjured up in my mind [consisting mainly of Jake running after me and sweeping me off my feet to kiss me passionately] makes me blush even harder and I feel like explaining myself even though Jake had no idea I’d imagined that…
I open my mouth to say something but I’m interrupted by the sound of stampeding feet before the door to Jake’s room is thrown open and the McLane herd bustle in, Claire at the front, immediately diving at Jake, “You IDIOT!” she shrieks as she grabs her sun, hugging him close, making him wince as his head is jostled.
“Why’s everyone calling me an idiot?” he grumbles into her shoulder.
I slump in my chair feeling absolutely drained but slightly grateful that we were interrupted. I look up as Seth puts a hand on my shoulder. He nods his head towards the door and I get up to slowly follow him out, taking one last glance back at Jake who’s surrounded by his family.
Seth wordlessly drapes his jacket over my shoulders before leading me down to a waiting room. He sits me down on a couch with a gentle pat on my shoulder and goes off to a vending machine. I lean my head back tiredly and close my eyes.
The next thing I know I’m in a car leaning on someone’s shoulder.
“Wmziggerhow?” I mumble groggily.
Seth smiles down at me as Dylan stops at the traffic lights, “You fell asleep in the waiting room.” He says simply.
I hug his jacket around Jake’s jumper which I’m still wearing despite its dampness. I try not to look at the dark stain on the bottom, try not to think of all the blood that covered the back of his scalp. “Is he ok?” I finally ask in the silence.
Seth holds my hand, “He’s going to be fine, only needed a couple of stitches. Mom’s staying with him overnight and he’ll be let out tomorrow.” A soft snore fills the car and I turn to see Sam asleep in his car seat. I look behind me to see the twins in the very back, asleep as well and Wes in the passenger seat.
“Tristan’s driving Finn and Dad back in his car.” Dylan explains, looking at me through the rear-view mirror.
I stare out the window as water from the earlier rainstorm trickles down the glass. “So what did you do?” Seth asks after a couple of minutes.
I look up at him in surprise, my mind instantly thinking he’s talking about Jake’s confession but then I see the teasing smile on his face and I understand what he means. I give him a watery smile, “It was all his fault. He slipped and fell, I had nothing to do with it.”
Dylan chuckles, waking Wes, “Trust.” He grins, pulling into the driveway.
I smile grimly to myself as I unbuckle Sam from his seat before getting out of the car.
I just hope he’ll be ok…
*
Maddy and Mitch stare at me captivatedly as I tell them about last night. Their eyes widen as I tell them about Jake’s moody behaviour which then led to his confession which then led to him nearly cracking his head open on the ground. I leave out the little scene my imagination made up about kissing Jake, of course.
They share a knowing glance and I frown at them, “What?”
Maddy shrugs, biting into her vege chicken wrap, “We knew this day would come.”
I look at her quizzically, “You knew Jake would crack his head open on the pavement,”
Mitch rolls her eyes stealing a cherry tomato that slips out of Maddy’s wrap, “We knew he’d confess Hale, not wind up in hospital.”
My eyes widen, “And when did you know he was going to do this?”
Maddy looks at Mitch, “Um around the time you were going out with Linc?”
Mitch nods, her red curls bouncing, “Yep, I’m thinking he liked you ages before though.”
“You’re telling me that Jake’s probably liked me for years now?” I gasp.
“More or less.” Mitch replies nonchalantly.
I slump back in my chair as I process this, “And when were you going to share this information?”
Maddy grins at me, “We were going to see how things played out. We thought we’d give ol’ Jake a hand when it really became ridiculous as to how dense you are, but…”
I stare at them, “He’s liked me?”
“Likes.” Mitch corrects, “I’m pretty sure he’s liked you ever since you came back.” She checks out her nails casually, “Maybe even way before that?”
At this I come out of my state of wonder and snort, “As if!”
Mitch shakes her head sadly at Maddy, “She’s in denial.”
“I am not!”
“Sure, honey.” Maddy says, getting up as the end of lunch bell rings, “You were in denial when he confessed to you and you laughed in his face. And look where that got you.”
Mitch nudges me, “You’ve got to start facing the facts or before you know it, you won’t have him anymore.”
“He can’t have liked me for that long…” I mumble to my pasta, hoping it’ll just magically move around in my bowl and spell out some answers.
*
“We’re back!” I call into the house, leaving my shoes outside. I’d walked home after school and now my shoes were covered in mud from yesterday’s storm.
“In here!” Claire calls out. I walk into the kitchen, to find her and John sitting down at the dining table with some coffee. Claire looks really exhausted and John does a bit too.
“Everything ok?” I ask uncertainly, putting my bag on the ground and taking a seat across from them.
Claire gives me a tired smile, “Just couldn’t sleep last night.”
“Jake’s ok, right?”
She nods, “Yeah, he’s up in his room.” She hesitates, “So he just slipped in the rain and hit his head on the ground?”
I nod, “Pretty much… is there anything wrong?”
John takes Claire’s hand as she starts to tear up, “She’s just a bit emotional… We got to talk to the doctor and we found out that Jake was pretty close to doing some pretty bad damage to his head. If his hands hadn’t broken his fall the injury could have been worse.” I bite my lip not really sure of what to do as Claire begins to bawl her eyes out and John puts his arms around her. He points up at the ceiling and mouths at me to go. I give a quick nod and hurry out.
I caution Dylan from walking into the kitchen on my way up the stairs and obviously being familiar with similar situations, he immediately bolts back to his room, whisper yelling at everyone to not go near their mom.
I pass Jake’s door on the way to my room and I hesitate slightly, wondering if I should see how he is or if I should just leave him alone to rest.
My ears pick up the faint sound of an acoustic guitar filtering through the door though and I decide to open it. Jake’s look of surprise turns to an easy-going smile as he sees my head peak around the door. I come in, feeling a blush rising as I realise he doesn’t have a shirt on but I decide to keep quiet for his sake when I see the bandage on his forehead.
“How are you feeling?” I ask gently.
He frowns, “Why are you talking like that?” mimics back. I stare at him blankly and his old cocky grin springs up as he flexes his arms, “You missed Ecstasy and Lady-Killer, didn’t you?”
My last bit of sympathy disappears and I roll my eyes at him, “There’s nothing wrong with you at all. You’re still as stupid as ever.” I fall down onto his bed and lie on my back, closing my eyes.
“Says stupider.” I feel his weight dip the mattress as he lies next to me and memories of the confession and the earlier conversation I had with M&M (Mitch and Maddy) come back to me, making me feel flustered. I’m acutely aware of the lack of clothing he has on the upper part of his body and I studiously keep my eyes trained on the above light fixture.
“So…” he says to fill the silence.
“So…” I creatively respond.
“How was school?”
I turn my head towards him, “Since when did you ever care about school?”
He smiles at me and the corners of his eyes crinkle slightly, “Since I found out I’d rather go there than spend the whole day at home staring at my ceiling since mom thinks I’m going to collapse if I even get out of bed.”
I roll away onto my stomach, uncomfortably aware of his drawing eyes. I start tracing the patterns in his home-made quilt not wanting to look at him directly, “Nothing much happened. One of your friends gave me some of your assignment but it decided to go for a suicide jump into the shredder. No biggie, it was only worth half of your grades.” I glance at him with a smirk and he chuckles.
“I guess you can loosen up when you want to.” I start to pick at a stray thread, “Hey.” Jake says softly but I pretend not to hear it. “Hey.” He says again, shaking my arm a bit.
“What?”
He looks at me for a minute, probably assessing the way my cheeks go even redder and my reluctance to make eye-contact, “I meant what I said.” He says quietly, “I’m still the same guy… but I just wanted you to know that…” he groans, “This is going to be the corniest thing ever, but I’m here for you… I’d do pretty much… anything for you.”
This time he looks away as I turn towards him. A small smile plays across my lips as I notice how his ears have turned red. “Wow. That was corny.” I say, laughing slightly.
He looks back at me, “You’re not supposed to say that.”
I shoot him a cocky grin of my own, “One of us has got to have a sense of humour.”
His expression turns surprised as he recognises my quote but it soon turns to a smile, “So where you using your sense of humour when you laughed in my face after I confessed my undying love for you?”
This time my face goes beet red almost instantaneously, “I- I really didn’t… What I… I wasn’t – I was kind of in denial and I… I just don’t know if I can…” I stammer out, answering his silent question along with his spoken one. I go for my pull-your-shirt-over-your-head- tactic as my mind tries to control the whirlwind of thoughts whizzing around in it.
I didn’t mean to laugh in his face… I just panicked! What was I supposed to do? People don’t just confess so out of the blue… do they? On top of that – do I really want a boyfriend so soon? With my past history I really don’t think it’s a good time…But this is Jake we’re talking about… Actually, because this is Jake we’re talking about maybe I should wait…
I feel a warm hand rest against my back, “I’m fine with waiting.” He says so softly I almost think I’m imagining it. I look up cautiously to see him smiling at me still, his head propped up with one hand. “I don’t want you to think we have to go out or anything.” He says slowly, his eyes looking all around the room but not at me, “I just… want you to know that I do like you… that’s all. It’s up to you when and whether you actually like me back. It’s all up to you…”
I close my eyes, wanting to block everything out even for a few seconds, “I don’t know what to do.” I finally whisper.
My eyes flutter open again as I feel his hand tuck some of my hair behind my ear, “You don’t have to.” He says softly, “Just remember that I’ll always be Jake and you’ll always be you. It’s us against the world no matter what.”
“But–”
“Take your time.” He cuts me off, cupping the side of my face with his hand for a minute, “I’ll wait.” He smirks, “Well I’ll try anyway.”
Before I can stop myself I laugh, hitting his arm, “You’re an idiot.”
He winks before getting up, “I pride myself in what I am.”
*
After dinner I work on my dress, knowing it needs to be done soon unless I want Maddy going psycho and shutting me in my room until it’s finished. My fingers have only just healed from the numerous cuts I’ve given myself with my pins. 10 minutes later and I’m already bleeding.
“Shit.” I hiss putting my finger in my mouth.
“You ok?”
I turn my head around still sucking on my finger, “Mhhmhmhmm.” I grumble at Jake, frowning slightly but completely aware of the slow blush rising up my neck.
He disappears from my doorway but soon comes walking into my room again, plopping himself onto the floor next to me. “Give me your hand.” He says with a sigh.
I grudgingly do this, embarrassed that I’m impaling my fingers on 3 centimetre pins even though I’ve been making clothes for ages.
I blush even harder as he gently takes my hand begins to put a bandaid around my little cut.
“You really need to stop stabbing yourself with those things.” He mutters, trying to make sure that the bandaid isn’t too tight. I’m touched by his consideration but also slightly light-headed now that I know that he likes me.
I’m still marvelling over the fact that Jake McLane likes me. This was the kid who used to jump me whenever I was in the pool, pull my hair or run after me with scissors. Now here he is, sitting right across from me, worrying if he’s strangling my pinkie.
“What?” he smirks. I cough and quickly drop my hands, looking for something to do as I realise I’ve been caught staring. “Is my lovely charm and wit finally getting to you?” he suddenly lifts his shirt, “Or is it the abs?”
I roll my eyes, directing my eyes away from the oh so holy sight right in front of me and busy myself with making the dress again. On the outside I’m a picture of calm. The inside’s a different story though… I can barely think about what I’m doing with the dress as my brain and my conscience are screaming at me, “Abs! Abs! Abs! Must touch! Abs! Abs! They’re right in front of you! Abs! Abs! Abs! THERE ARE FRIGGIN ABS IN FRONT OF YOU! Abs! Abs! Abs!”
There’s silence for a minute and I’m uncomfortably aware of the fact that my breathing seems to have sped up… along with my poor heart.
“So are you going to update your Facebook page to ‘It’s complicated with Jake’?” he finally says.
I send him a suspicious look, “I thought you said you were going to wait.” He shrugs, “Can you pass my glasses?” I add nonchalantly trying to disguise my nervousness. “They’re on the table.”
He gets up and walks over to my cluttered table and starts to look for them, “I did say that.” He says slowly, adopting my tone, “But, well, I’m not that patient.” I choose to stay quiet, “Dammit! What the hell do you do with all this stuff?”
I turn to see him holding up some dead flowers and broken ukulele. I smile sheepishly, “Um still-life?”
He rolls his eyes and keeps searching, “Even if I say I’ll wait, it doesn’t mean that I won’t do things to show my affection. I can’t stop myself from tucking your hair behind your ear or–”
“Flashing your abs?” I say as dryly as possible. My throat actually goes dry just from mentioning them and my heart decides that now it’s time for it to climb out of my throat.
Quick as a flash, before I can look away, Jake’s suddenly by my side, holding the sides of my face, our noses only inches apart. This probably would have been a bit more exhilarating for me had Jake not smooshed my cheeks forward giving me a trout mouth. “You have a very bad mouth.” He coos at me, shaking my head from side to side. I frown and before I can stop him there’s a flash.
What’s with the superhuman speed?
As I blink the squiggles and stars out of my eyes I spot the phone Jake’s holding, grinning evilly. “What was that for?!” I yell, making a grab for the phone.
Jake laughs holding it out of reach. I jump at him, scrabbling for it and we’re soon both on the floor, Jake still grinning his head off as I slide myself forward, trying to reach the phone he’s still holding out of reach. I make a final grab, “Yes!” I crow, as my hands close around it. I sit up quickly, going through the photo area and deleting the extremely ugly photo he’s just taken and used as his wallpaper. It’s only once I’ve done this that it actually registers that I’m sitting on Jake.
He smirks, “Am I still waiting for an answer or can we start making out?”
My cheeks are on fire as I try to roll off of him but his hands grab me and now I’m lying fully on top of him. “I’m going to make sure you can never have children again as soon as you let go!’ I growl through gritted teeth.
He wraps his arms around me firmly, pulling my head down, “Well, I’ll just have to savour this moment then.”
“You bastard.” I mutter into his chest. I kick my legs feebly, unnervingly aware that I actually feel comfortable like this…
Much too soon, he gets up with a laugh, dumping me on the bed before dashing to the doorway. I just lie there, in a daze as he winks at me, “Call me when you need another bandaid.” He laughs, “Or if CPR is needed.” And with that, he shuts my door.
I slowly turn over onto my back, only to half fall on the floor. I stare up at the ceiling as I lie half on my bed and half on my carpet and swallow hard.
If this was anyone other than Jake McLane, my decision would be a lot easier. That and if the Holy 8 [his abs] weren’t so drool-worthy…