"Courage is the fear of being thought a coward." ~ Horace Smith
- - -
I'm lying down peacefully next to Josh who snores beside me, Soph is in the room next door and Ashia is asleep in the cot at the end of our pristine white bed. The howls and screeches of the infected outside are keeping me awake, the jungle of noise tearing apart my brain. I swear they're getting smarter, is that possible? I suppose anything is now, like how we thought this could never happen. An uneasy feeling spreads through me and I shiver uncontrollably. Silence. The thing I've grown so attuned to that I notice it more than noise, the thing that has only one meaning.
Danger.
I turn around and shake Josh's shoulder forcefully, panic rising in my throat.
"Josh, wake up!" I shout-whisper and he opens his eyes groggily.
"What? Are you ok?" he asks concerned.
"There's nothing," I say in panic and he looks at me with a puzzled expression, "there's literally nothing, it's silent. The zombies are silent!" I repeat into the dark room.
Josh's eyes widen and we both wait in silence for a noise, anything, a screech or any sign of intrusion. Time passes and there's no further sound, just the settled silence.
"Maybe they've all gone?" I suggest, my tone hushed and fractured.
A loud bang echoes through the building causing Josh and me to jump up, frantically pulling on warm clothing in case we have to flee the tiny house. I grab Ashia into my arms and Josh fetches Soph from her room, we all huddle against the back door with the thudding still echoing around us and time seems to spin around my drowsy mind.
Suddenly a ray of light fills the room as a wooden panel falls away from the window, I shield Ashia and me from the blinding light until my eyes have fully adjusted- slowly squinting upwards. I stare up at the window and gasp in pure sickening terror. A horde of zombies are all stood at the window sniffing and staring inside, their faces distorted with ripped muscle and visible skull. As soon as the panel hits the cluttered floor the infected see us, their howls filling the small room that cages us in.
One infected pounds its fist against the glass and cracks spiral out from the point of impact like the intricate pattern of a spider's web. Soph whimpers and I swear the corners of the zombie's mouth tug up into a cruel smirk.
That's when the rest start punching the window, their decaying flesh splattering against the cracked glass and smearing it with gore. I clasp my hand around the door handle and twist it slowly, keeping my movements subtle.
"Guys run. NOW!" I exclaim and pull the door open. The zombies start punching at the glass harder as we file out of the room and out onto the cobbled street- screeches bouncing around us. We sprint as fast as we can with our feet echoing off the slippery stone, lurching sideways as our feet fall from beneath us.
The infected can't be that far behind us and this is the thought that keeps us running until finally, we fall against a towering wall covered in moss and ivy, my hands weaving into the vines as I catch my breath in loud gulps for air. I take a deep shaky breath but my head whips up at a sound that echoes down the street, the unmistakable growls of infected.
I turn around and see them charging towards us with huge speed, we all stumble to our feet and lurch forward again. My lungs burn harshly and my legs nearly buckle out from under me with each step of pure agony. We can't outrun them, their too fast- too strong. They have no need for oxygen, no need for rest, just us- our flesh their only need.
The screeching of brakes echoes off the buildings and I see a dark red car slide towards us, the door flies open and a loud voice shouts out to us from inside.
"Get in! Quick!" they yell in a familiar commanding voice, we all jump in and I breathe out a sigh of relief, I look over my shoulder and stare at the driver who's fists are clenched around the wheel.
"Toby?" I say in astonishment, my eyes wide with shock. I gasp and he looks over at me with a stone-cold expression, his eyes blank and emotionless.
"Madeline," he replies and nods stiffly.
We travel for another ten minutes before finally pulling up outside a small detached house, Ashia's cries slowly diminishing as she falls asleep in my arms. We all get out of the car silently, the adrenaline still pumping through our veins, but Toby steps in front of us, blocking our path to the front door. His eyes are filled with tears and we all look at him quizzically, he clears his throat before speaking up.
"There's something you should all know. I met up with Amelia a few days ago and we were travelling together again. We were being chased by the infected, she was on the edge of the building opposite to me- completely stranded. The zombies were all coming towards her and there was nothing I could do," he bursts out, his fists clenched in distress. Tears start falling from my eyes and I shake uncontrollably, dreading the words that are about to leave his lips.
"She looked at me and I knew what she was going to do, I tried screaming but it was no use. She jumped. She jumped off the edge," Toby's eyes squeeze shut and I gasp in grief, "that's not even the worst part..." Toby almost shouts and I flinch at the bitterness in his words.
I shake my head, how can it get any worse? My best friend just died? Amelia is dead and it can get worse?
"You see the zombies aren't what they used to be. They're thinking, they have better senses, they work together," he spits at the floor and clenches his hands into tight, bloodstained fists. His fingers jabbing at the air with each accusation, trembling and scared with bloodied cuts.
"They're evolving," he spits in pain. I frown through my tears at Toby's words, it would explain an awful lot of unanswered questions I've faced recently.
"What is the worst part?" Sophie whispers with a pained voice, not wanting to hear anymore but needing to know the truth. A feeling that tears me apart in debate and indecision, a feeling that spreads around the group.
"She didn't fall," Toby states blankly, his eyes fixated on the ground. We all look at him bewildered and he shouts in red-hot rage. "THOSE EVIL MUTATED MONSTERS GRABBED HER! THEY GRABBED HER AND PULLED HER BACK OVER THE EDGE AND SWARMED HER. THEY KILLED HER!" he screams into the bitterly cold air. We all flinch at his words and tears stream down our ashen faces, he's silent for a while before whispering out a guilt-filled confession.
"The thing is she jumped off the edge not only to save me but so she wouldn't become one of those monsters. But it was no use, and I didn't go back for her," he speaks in a hushed voice.
Anger floods through me as I register his last words and I pass Ashia to Soph numbly, I stumble towards Toby and push him back with almighty force. He falls back and lands on the steps with a thud, I tower over him and punch him square in the jaw.
"YOU'RE A COWARD! A COWARD, YOU ONLY EVER THINK ABOUT YOUR SAFETY! YOU WERE A JERK WHEN I FIRST MET YOU AND YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED!" I scream distraughtly. Soph shouts at me to stop and Josh tries to pull me off him but it's no use, the anger is pumping adrenaline through my body and I'm too strong for their weak attempts.
"YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULD PROTECT HER, YOU'RE A LIAR. DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU'RE JUST A COWARDLY LIAR. A COWARD. A JERK. A LIAR!" I scream at him, he looks up at me with a bitter expression and smirks at me through the blood that's pouring from his cuts that dance across his face.
"Well, at least I don't experiment on my own friends," he spits at me bitterly, his eyes taunting mine. That hit hard, but it's true. It's the thing I most regret in my life and that's when the panic attack racks my body. I start to gasp heavily; the world goes bright and a high pitched drone clamps down on me.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." I whisper out as pain overcomes me and I fall back onto the cold stone.
Soph's frozen structure, Josh's panic-stricken eyes, Toby's gaping mouth and my daughters high pitched shrieks are the last thing I register before my head cracks against the granite.