Ryan's POV
I loved spending time with Rain. We kissed and cuddled and talked. We were a normal couple, except that it was our secret. I didn't like keeping us a secret, but I had to. I wasn't ready to come out yet.
I was worried about my uncle's reaction, and my aunt who had a tongue like a whip. It wasn't just them I was worried about. I knew a lot of homophobes. I was afraid that if I came out I would be an outcast. Rain was out and wasn't an outcast, but he wasn't like me. I was the tough guy. The company I had kept in the previous year didn't like gays and lesbians. If my uncle one day decided he'd had enough of me, I needed to go somewhere I belonged. And I belonged with those thugs he didn't like.
I was getting along with more of my colleagues at work now too. They were macho men who despised any weakling behavior. There was just no way I could let them found out I was with a guy. I just couldn't do it yet.
Rain and I spent more time together. My uncle liked him so I was allowed to spend time with him. Obviously he didn't know what Rain and I were.
I didn't tell my uncle what I'd overheard his wife saying. I only told him I ran away because he'd made me angry yelling at me for a crime I didn't commit. He still wasn't convinced that the weed wasn't mine, but I wasn't concerned. I was a bit worried about being expelled though. I didn't exactly have a good track record; no other school would take me.
A week after my suspension Rain came to visit at the house again. My uncle and aunt were going to a friend's daughter's engagement party, leaving me to babysit the kids. My aunt was of course not happy about that, but my uncle assured her the kids would be fine. What could go wrong?
I called Rain and asked him to come babysit with me. I'd met his parents so they agreed to let him come. He was to be home at 10 pm though, so I needed to make sure he was or they wouldn't trust me again.
He arrived and I introduced him to Emily and Sally. They took a liking to him, more so because he could draw and I couldn't. He drew some pictures for them and they colored. He was really good with them. He also allowed them to tie his hair into a high ponytail. His hair wasn't that long so the ponytail was forced. He had already been wearing a thin black elastic headband so the girls pushed it back, not allowing hair that couldn't reach the ribbon to stick out. Admittedly, it looked good on him.
I was glad when the girls' bedtime arrived. I loved spending time with them, but they'd been hogging Rain's attention and I was a little jealous. I wanted to spend some time alone with him before he had to go.
We tucked the girls in and soon it was just the two of us.
"Phew! Those two are a handful", I said as we left the girls' room.
"They are fun though", he said.
"Yeah, they seem to like you", I said.
"I didn't know I was that good with kids", he said.
"I love your new hairstyle, it suits you", I said chuckling.
"Thank you", he said rolling his eyes.
I took that moment to remove the ribbon, letting his hair free. "I'm sorry, but I love your hair like this so I can pull on it", I said, whispering the last part.
When my hand lowered, it stopped on the part between his neck and his jaw. I raised his lips to meet mine. We kissed for a few seconds.
We got to the living area. We had decided we were going to watch a movie. I made the popcorn and we sat down.
"Neighbors?" I asked showing him the DVD. "...Or The avengers?"
"Mmm", he said concentrating hard. "Can't decide".
"Okay, neighbors it is", I said.
I put the DVD in and the movie started. I think we watched the first 10 or 15 minutes before I decided there was something better we could do with our time.
I leaned over to him, smelling his scent. He always smelt good. He didn't just like being neat, he made sure his neatness came with a fragrance that was mesmerizing. He looked great too. Rain was beautiful. Beautiful sounds feminine, but he had a touch of that. He had this soft fair skin that had a touch of pink. His face was flawless. His subtle pink lips were a bit full and just looked gorgeous in the dim light of the room. His thick hair fell in beautiful waves. The most striking of his features was his eyes. Either darker or lighter, his irises had the most beautiful color, a rare one. His eyes were spell-binding; they cast a spell of their own.
I leaned over until he had only to turn for our foreheads to touch. He laughed at something Zac Efron did in the movie.
"Ryan, did you see..." he said and turned, only to find my head just next to his. Our foreheads touched like I said they would.
I smiled, seizing that moment to kiss him. He responded immediately, goading me on. Our lips moved together. His lips tasted just as good as they looked, if not more. I bit his lower lip and felt his hands move around my neck. I smiled into the kiss, continuing to kiss him faster. The intensity increased. The movie was all but forgotten.
I felt his hands moving slightly on my neck. I loved the sensation they elicited. He was only touching slightly, making me want even more. I moved even closer to him on the couch, still kissing him. His hands lowered to the sweater that was covering my abdomen. That wasn't enough for him because he went under my clothes instead, touching my bare skin. I released a sound I was sure I didn't utter voluntarily into the kiss. Seconds later I heard him moan. That just drove me crazy. I was pretty sure the temperature in the room had increased significantly.
Wanting more contact with him, I pulled him to me, making him sit on my lap with his legs on either side. I felt heat surge within me immediately. My hands went to the zip of his sweater. I dragged it down and noticed that my hands were trembling. I wasn't cold, I was excited. I removed Rain's sweater off him slowly, still kissing him. When his sweater was on the floor I delved inside his t-shirt. His warmth hit me immediately and I loved it.
"Ryan?" came a voice out of nowhere. It was frail too, like the person was sick or sleepy.
Rain pulled back from the kiss before I could. We looked into the entryway where Emily was standing in her pajamas. She had a teddy bear in her hand. She looked shocked.
"Shit", I cursed quietly. I had exposed Rain and I's secret to Emily.
Rain gave me a warning look as he got off me. He didn't like it when I cursed in front of the kids. Hey, it turns out my aunt was right. I was a bad influence.
"Uh, what's up Em?" I asked Emily.
She walked to us. I gestured for her to come sit on my lap. Rain had moved from me by then.
After she sat, Emily said, "I couldn't sleep".
"Did you have a nightmare?" I asked.
"No. I just can't sleep", she said.
"Tell you what, why don't I make you a glass of warm milk? Should help you doze of", I said.
She nodded.
I looked at Rain, wondering how to broach the next subject. Emily had definitely seen Rain and I kissing. She could tell my uncle or aunt.
Rain shrugged, telling me he had no idea how to approach it. Oh great. If my secret came out it really wouldn't be bad for him, so why should he have to think hard about it?
"Emily, what you saw..." I said and went quiet. "Don't tell mommy and daddy, okay?"
She grinned. "I shouldn't tell them that I saw you kissing your friend, who is a boy?"
The way she said it told me if I ever came out she would see me as weird. For her romantic relationships were between males and females, that was what she was taught.
"Yes", I said.
"Okay", she said simply. I loved Emily, she wasn't versed in extortion.
"You pinky promise?" I said holding out my pinky.
"I pinky promise", she said entwining her pinky with mine.
That was so easy!
"Let's get you that glass of milk", I said trying to stand up.
She pushed me back down. "Ryan, what happened to Elaine?"
I raised a brow. "Who's Elaine?"
"...The girl you told me you liked; the one who was on a date with her boyfriend", she replied.
Damn, the girl had a good memory!
I didn't miss the look Rain gave me. He too wanted to know what had happened to the girl. How the hell do I answer this?
"Uh...I don't like her anymore", I said.
"Why?" Emily was curious.
"Uh...because...because I just don't", I said.
"Do you like Rain?"
I looked at Rain. He wasn't saying anything. You could tell he was interested in the answer or how I was going to get out of answering. I needed to get out of the interrogation.
"Come on, let's get you that milk", I said.
Emily finally stood up.
"Go on to the kitchen, I'll be with you now", I said.
"Want to stay and kiss Rain?" she asked making a smooching face.
"Go on", I waved her away.
She walked to the kitchen.
I looked at Rain. He was waiting in anticipation for an explanation. He didn't even have to say anything. His face shouted, "Explain".
"First thing, that girl really needs squeaky shoes. Second, there is no girl I like. There's no Elaine. I told Emily about you that time you went on dates with Sebastian. I couldn't say it was a guy so when she asked for a name, the name Elaine popped up. It kinda rhymes", I said.
He smirked. "You told Emily about me?"
"Yeah. She happens to be a good listener", I said.
He gave me a million dollar smile. "That happened when I was going on dates with Sebastian?"
I chuckled. I didn't want to tell him I'd been thinking about him for so long.
"Ryan!" Emily called me.
I stood up. "I'll be back".
"Be quick. I'll be missing you", he said.
I went to the kitchen. I warmed up some milk for Emily and she went to bed. When I came back to the living area, Rain was on the phone. He looked up when I came in, almost nervously.
His expression was disturbing. It made me eavesdrop on the conversation.
"Uh, yeah".
"It was. Me too. Uh, I have to go".
"Goodnight".
He removed his phone from his ear and looked at me sheepishly, as if I had any idea who had been at the other end of the line. I wasn't going to ask him, but he received a text a second later and frowned.
"Who was it?" I asked casually. I wasn't nosy, but his expression was worrying.
"Um... Sebastian", he replied after a pause.
I was surprised and a little irritated that Sebastian was calling him. Thoughts of him betraying me just surfaced. I scratched my head. "What did he want?"
"He was just saying hi. He wants to hang out", he said coming to sit next to me.
"And what did you say?"
He exhaled loudly. "I told him it's fine".
"Don't you think you are leading him on?" I asked, and though I hadn't intended it, it sounded like an accusation.
He shrugged. "He knows nothing is going to happen".
"And you think that's going to stop him from making a move on you?" I asked firmly. I was getting possessive.
You would think I would learn, but I was repeating the same mistakes. I had a jealousy streak that came out many times in my past relationship. When I fell for a person, I became a bit possessive. Was I falling in love with Rain?
"He knows I can't be with him!" he protested.
"You are available. You seem available. He's going to keep trying. I'm interested in knowing what you said when he asked you to be his boyfriend", I said.
"I told him there was no connection between us, and there isn't. But he's a nice guy..." he said.
"A nice guy who wants you!" I interrupted.
"Are you going to get this uptight every time a guy wants me?" he asked.
I stayed quiet. I could see his point. I berated myself for getting so worked up. I was letting past experiences ruin something that was totally different. Being cheated on many times would make anyone overly-cautious.
My past real relationship had been hell on earth. It had started nicely like all new relationships. She was lovely and I loved and paid her attention. I thought it was enough, but it clearly wasn't when she cheated on me with 2 different guys. I forgave her, but became increasingly possessive. We fought a lot afterwards. It was toxic and the second part was partly my fault. I couldn't trust her.
"Ryan, I'm with you. Sebastian might try something, but I'm not going to let him", he said.
I grabbed his hand in mine. "I'm sorry. I know this- us being a secret- is not ideal and I'm just afraid you'll suddenly think you can't handle it".
He seemed to be thinking. A look I didn't like crossed his face and disappeared after seconds.
He shook his head. "You don't have to worry about that".
"Come here", I said.
I gave him a brief kiss. He had to go soon after that or I was assured his dad would call the FBI to report him missing. Everyone in his family seemed to be overprotective.