Fluttering her eyes open at the brief caress to the side of her face, Annie's vision blurred from the lingering remains of sleep. Blinking away the haze, she realized she was in the suite. The heavy weight of her head felt like a bowling ball. However as groggy as she still was, Annie attempted to lift her upper body straighter to shake off the sleepiness. Closing slowly and forcefully re-opening her eyes repeatedly like a butterflies wings, she looked to her left and quickly realized somebody was standing right next to where she rested.
A dark suited man stood silently gazing down at her. Traveling her eyes along his length, starting at his legs which were at her eye level then up to his arms and wide shoulders. He was very muscular from what she could tell already. The man was tall, poised, confident much like a statue waiting patiently for acknowledgment.
He was watching her, for how long she did not know, but the blazing intensity of his eyes was unsettling. When she squinted and blinked several times, Annie thought she was hallucinating when his face registered.
The mystery man?
That's when the shock set in.
The disbelief skidded across Annie's features. Her eyes were met with a fierce-stoney hard stare. Eyes the shade of a winter sea.
It can't be. No, no, no...
She stood up rather unsteadily, struggling to maintain her composure. He had to help hold her hand to keep her upright. As the brief of the contact was, Annie pulled away like his touch burnt her.
"This must be a mistake, I have to go.." She said, never looking him in the eye—she could not face him feeling sick to her stomach. The effects of the shock waves pulsing through her numbed body caused her limbs to weaken.
He made an attempt to grasp her arm. "Don't touch me!" Annie exclaimed, backing away from him on unsteady legs. "I want nothing to do with you!"
"You don't have a choice." He says smoothly, advancing slowly.
Annie was backing away towards the door, looking frantically behind her. A few more feet and she might be free. The only difficulty was the heavy door. Getting it to open swiftly was going to take great effort before he can catch her.
Striding cautiously, he advanced slowly, watching her with hooded eyes—decreasing the distance between them. The look in her eyes was empty. A look you would give a stranger or somebody you disliked. She was weary of him like a bystander would be of a criminal.
And it angered him.
"I hate you, just leave me alone in peace." She pleaded, watching his stoic expression. He crossed the room, cornering her between the door and his body, with no means of escape. Ironically it looked like a scene from a national geographic show—the tiger watching its prey, slowly bidding its time until it attacked.
"You're not going anywhere anytime soon. If I were you, I would get comfortable."
Calm, smooth and determined as ever, he tried to reach for her again but Annie recoiled from him. He was hoping for a smoother transition but as expected, she was always difficult. And now he had her trapped against the door, refusing to look at him.
Annie gave up when her back collided with the hardness of the door. Instead of looking straight ahead, she turned her face to the side and closed her eyes, not giving him the satisfaction of her attention.
Annie felt his hands trap her against the door as he rested them on either side of her head.
"Look at me." He commanded.
Annie stubbornly kept her face hidden to the side, her hair causing a light barrier, covering her face. She could smell his sweet cologne now that he was close and it made her want to swoon. It smelled so potent, wafting its way into her nostrils heavily. It took her back to the days she was happy. The smell once was reassuring, comforting, at one point offering a sense of security—a quaint reminder of....love.
But now, it was her worst enemy. A bad reminder, unable to be tolerated nor endured.
He leaned forward and inhaled the intoxicating light perfume and the floral essence coming from her hair. He nuzzled the nape of her neck, kissing her racing pulse. He felt her stiffen as his chest brushed against hers. Goosebumps erupted on her arms, legs and neck from his feather like kiss. A shudder ran through her body as she quivered from his intimidating stance.
"Look at me." He whispered this time, pulling her hair away from her face and behind her ear.
Again she refused, shaking her head.
"I need you..." He declared in a harsh whisper, staring at the side of her face intently and willing her to look at him. Just as stubborn as the first day he met her, she stubbornly stayed locked in the same position. Taking a deep breath, he refrained from slamming his fist against the door in frustration. If she did not cooperate soon, he would have to stoop to more persuasive measures forcefully.
Annie opened her eyes and slowly turned to face him. "You, need me?" Annie scoffed in disbelief. "Since when? You don't even know me!" She said, her voice raising to new octaves.
She was sick and tired of the mind games and the constant disappointment. Where her hands once laid flat against the door were now pulled between her body and his in an attempt to shove him away. It was like pushing a steel door. He did not move an inch, instead he caught her hands raising them up against the wall above her head, making her breasts push out against his chest more prominently. Her cellular phone slipped from her fingers and fell on to the floor.
"I couldn't hold back anymore, love. As hard as I tried staying away, I needed to be alone with you..." He explained, watching her reaction intently.
"You barely know me Julien." Annie tried, disgusted with him and her entire existence. Life was cruel, he was cruel making her go through this. Can't he feel what he is doing? Is he that blind he can't sense that she's broken?
Whatever he said will never mean anything. This was not her Julien. He still had amnesia, nothing's changed, shaking her head sadly...and nothing ever will. "Forcing me to stay will not change anything." Still fighting against him with all the strength she had left.
Julien wedged his knee between her thighs, the thin silk material of her dress leaving nothing to the imagination now that it was outlining the shape of her body. "Stop fighting me." He ordered, holding her wrists tightly.
"I will always fight you!" She replied back in anger, continuing to push and twist her body out of his grasp but with no luck. It only heightened her body's most sensitive area, as his leg pressed firmly between the V of her legs. Every movement provoked a soft rubbing at her core. The pleasurable sensations shot liquid fire in her blood, making the lust ignite inside of her.
"Let me go..." She moaned, feeling helpless. It was useless to fight, he was so much stronger than her. Annie wished he would stop making her feel the warmth of desire thicken in her blood. Her body was betraying her.
"Never." He replied, a promise in his tone. Lowering his head, he inhaled her sweet breath making it his, noses touching, heads tilted, he narrowed his sharp gaze to her inviting lips. It took a great deal of restraint not to moisten them. Annie closed her eyes tightly, breathing hard as a deep blush formed and tainted her cheeks against her will.
It was in the air—the electricity pulsing between them, it felt unnatural. The raw physical attraction was undeniable. Her body said yes, where her mind said no. Both fighting for dominance. Ultimately she already knew which of the two would win.
Keeping a firm hold of her wrists with one hand, the other trailed down the side of her face to capture her jaw firmly and hold it in place. The more she fought him verbally, the more he wanted her. He loved the challenge she provoked. Not succumbing to his advances as usual, she had a lot of fight in her which he greatly admired and loved.
"I can't do this...please." She pleaded, trying to move her head but his grip was holding her hostage. He crushed his lips to her semi parted ones, sweeping his tongue into her mouth.
She went still as stone against him.
He took over her mouth, ravishing it with abandon, coaxing her to kiss him back, requiring some response, needing something from her, anything. He invaded her, savoring the taste and feel of her as a small gasp escaped her. Annie was unresponsive at first but gradually gave into the building passion between them. Their tongues fought, twisting—forcing—hard—rough until Julien ultimately won the battle dominating the kiss aggressively.
It felt like he was sucking the life out of her, his life depending on what he took. She struggled to catch up with his continuous kiss while he held her hands captive. Julien pressed his leg more firmly between her legs causing Annie's back to arch. The movement caused the front of her body pressing tighter against him, molding every inch separating them together. The pressure in her center was building up rapidly making her feel wanton with need.
Her mind weakened from the influx of her body's craving. It was impossible to stop. She didn't want to feel this way. Didn't want to give in. Didn't want him to touch her. Matter over mind took possession. It was more of a need not a want—like medicine for the both their separated souls.
The kiss continued, gradually becoming softer and yielding. His expert tongue stroked, teased and caressed hers. Releasing his grip on her jaw, Julien snaked his arm around her waist pulling her tighter against him. Julien groaned as he felt her soft full breasts crush against his chest. His hand trailed down to grope her bottom, feeling the fullness and squeezing, causing Annie to shriek against his lips.
He smiled internally.
Annie broke the kiss needing to catch her breath. It was mind blowing in its intensity, as she felt her lips swell and the heat rush up to her face. "Release my hands." She said breathlessly. He instantly released her, holding her in his arms as they both struggled to regulate their breathing.
It was a kiss meant for long lost lovers that have finally found one another.
But the kiss meant nothing if he did not remember her.
The gap in her heart was still there. The needle and thread were in his hands. He could patch her up. He could heal her tortured soul. If only he could remember.
"I need to leave. This was a mistake!" She said aggressively pushing at his chest.
He was never letting her go. Too much time had been wasted apart.
Giving her the space she needed and taking a step back, his hands never left her body. Julien needed to explain himself and standing against the door just made him want to do things to her that would make her either swoon or flush profusely. Not a moment later he scooped her up in his arms and carried her back to the living area.
"Why are you doing this?" She asked in wonder, as he sat her on his lap, pulling her against his hard chest. He intertwined their fingers together and brought her hand up to his lips, leaving a lingering kiss on her knuckles. Annie tried tugging her hand away from his grasp, but he closed his fingers firmly around her wrist with enough force to make her wince.
If only for a moment she could pretend it was all real and bask in the attention her bruised and broken soul so dearly needed.
This was a big risk she was taking. Whenever she thought she'd made progress—one step froward, it ended taking her ten steps back. No matter how much she tried fooling herself that she would move on and forget, her body and mind craved the attention from him. It was inevitable to fight. It felt like all the old times when the Julien she loved held her and kissed her tenderly, loved her unconditionally. He brought life to her deadened spirit. But this was still the new Julien, she had to remind herself, the old one that would never hurt her was gone.
It was well past the pretenses of pretend. Too little too late. Annie could not continue this charade, this fantasy, for too long.
"I orchestrated everything...I sent Lucas in my place to bid for you. It was the only way to stay anonymous. I am the mystery bidder." Caressing her cheek with his thumb, watching her expression closely.
"I figured that part out, but why?"
"I'm not finished—I have something else to confess...until late last night, I remembered everything...I remembered us." Annie stiffened in surprise, staring into his eyes, searching for the truth. There was a long pause before she spoke.
"How?" She asked in bewilderment and confusion searching the silver sharp specks of his magnetic eyes.
"Thanks to Duncan, right after the auction. After explaining why I fought Nathan, he felt he needed to inform me of our relationship, then it all came back—the memories."
Annie felt like she was going to faint.
"Why did you not come to me?" He asked disappointed, clasping her cold hands.
The familiar warming of his warm hands.
His special touch.
The recognition in his voice.
The tight clenching of her heart nearly undid her. Annie felt the guilt settle in her gut. Something inside of her broke. Was it her resolve? Was it she felt him? Was this really happening?
"How do I know you're telling the truth?" Annie shook her head slightly and shifted on his lap uncomfortably still doubtful. Anybody could have told him about them, it did not mean he remembered everything.
Julien smiled ruefully, nodding in understanding. "Who else calls you his duchess? Hmmm?"
Annie's heart skipped a beat at the endearment. She had missed it so much.
"And if I were trying to fool you, then tell me who caught you in the hallway of my home months ago, almost kissing you before you pulled away like the tease you are making the chase that more pleasurable for me? Who was the one that came into my office delivering paperwork as an excuse to thank me for the fuchsia colored roses?" He explained with conviction while raising an eyebrow.
"And lastly...who else kept reminding you that you are mine?" He spoke with such authority and confidence it made Annie's insides melt.
All of it was true.
Aside from the facts he stated, his powerful penetrating stare never wavered.
The eyes never lie.
The instances he listed were only things he would know. Nobody but her knew the private moments they shared. It was more than enough to show he was back to his true self.
He had his memories. Finally.
Annie couldn't stop herself from reaching out to stroke his beautiful face. It had been so long since she had touched him, held him, felt him.
Julien turned into her touch, closing his eyes in bliss. Her fingers hesitantly stroked over his eyebrows, than growing the confidence she caressed his cheekbones, jaw, lips. Annie ran her hands through his black hair, feeling the thickness and softness under her fingers. Lastly she gently touched the scar he acquired after the accident that ran to the side of his forehead. It was nearly white, the new fresh skin soft and subtle.
The scar, although nearly faded to the shade of his skin, looked incredibly sexy on him. Up close he appeared tougher, harder, and dangerous—It gave him a new edgy-mysterious look. Aside from that, their was this aura of strength emitting from him, surrounding him. It was still him yet he was different—changed.
Annie sighed. "I did not exist to you at the time." She said simply, finding her voice void of emotion, answering his previous question. Until recently had given up hope. Given up her happiness, walking away from him to secure his future. "You had so much to catch up on, I would have been in the way. I thought it was for the best." Going back and reliving the instances of his aloofness, shutting her out, ignoring her most of the time and the biggest of them all was Caitlin.
His girlfriend.
Of all the internal scars, this particular one stood out the most.
Annie's hand slipped away from his face, feeling the loss of contact she stood abruptly from his lap. It hurt, even after his confession. She could not help but feel betrayed.
"T-then you moved on and... I-I gave up. If the thought of telling you about us crossed my mind at the time it completely dissolved once I saw you with...with your girlfriend."
Julien stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. Annie tried to struggle out of his hold to maintain some distance, but he held her captive in his strong iron arms. She remained hard, resisting the urge to give up and welcome his comfort.
"Forgive me, duchess." He whispered, nuzzling and kissing her hair repeatedly. "Caitlin is history. I was foolish fighting my feelings for you. I'm ashamed to admit I was using her as a shield to distance myself from you. I never deliberately tried to hurt you, I did not understand, I wasn't thinking. I was an ignorant fool that ignored all the signs."
Turning Annie around, he found the silent tears streaming down her face. Julien engulfed her in his arms, holding on to her.
"Don't cry, please love." Kissing the saltiness of her tears from her eyes. The pads of thumbs brushed the tears away as they slipped down her face.
Before she had met Julien she had never cried, she had never been emotional. But ever since he had walked into her life, he'd melted down her walls, torn into her heart, re-patched it, and changed her.
"I can't help it. You hurt me...you were with her for months." She sobbed uncontrollably, hiding her face in the crook of his neck, her tears staining his white collared shirt. "The worst part was watching the both of you together. I-I tried concealing the pain. My heart was bruised, I had nothing left to lose anymore..." Julien squeezed her tighter against his chest kissing her forehead.
"I love you, never forget that, ever. I am very sorry, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you." Julien vowed. "Believe me when I say: even when I had no recollection of us being together, I loved you deep down, I just did not realize it. I fell in love with your all over again. I feel wretched, wishing I had done things differently. Please believe me."
Annie unwrapped her arms around his neck.
"You can't tell me nothing happened! It's too late!" She accused. Her head was swimming, feeling faint. Standing on wobbly legs, her legs threatened to collapse from underneath her. "You stayed with her. Took trips with her, took her to dinners, kissed her passionately in front of me, no less! If your claims are true and you loved me, then you would not have stayed with her!"
"You must think me below reproach. I betrayed your trust. I don't deserve you should forgive me. But won't you allow that there were extenuating circumstances? There is one thing you must believe..." His voice faltered, feeling her pain. She was especially vulnerable now and he did not want to hurt her.
"Caitlin meant nothing to me. She was just a empty distraction. Nothing serious happened....I've always wanted you and only you." Julien was not going to lose her. "I could never keep my eyes off of you whenever we passed. Ignoring you was the one thing I could never do. I believed my feelings were one sided. I did not want to force you to anything. I stayed away for your own good. You led a sheltered existence. I did not know what we shared. I did not know you allowed me the pleasure of your company. I was oblivious. I had no recollection of us before..."
Annie remained silent. All this overwhelming information and months of stress, reliving the hell that was her life was hard. The pressure in her head was causing a tremendous amount of fatigue forcing her body want to shut down just as that day in the hospital.
Annie laid against his neck tiredly and finally collapsed in his arms. Julien caught her swiftly and lifted her into his arms quickly, maneuvering them into the master suite. It was difficult to keep her eyes open as she felt him carry her.
Carefully, gently, as if he were handling priceless porcelain, Julien laid her on the bed.
"Duchess? Are you alright? Tell me what you are feeling!" Julien sat close to her on the bed, holding her head forcing her to look up at him.
Willing herself to push aside her exhaustion, Annie blinked up at his concerned face. He'd never lied to her before. Julien was nothing but honest with his intentions, never giving her any doubt not to trust him and always fighting until he got what he wanted. The honesty and truth in his tone did not leave any room for doubt.
Before Annie choose her course, it resulted in a enormous amount of pain and suffering. The very actions which led her to think she was doing something right resulted in steering Julien away from her and into another's arms.
He couldn't control what he did not know.
The months of waiting, the suffering—could this be the end of the wait, possibly the end of her miserable existence?
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How many of you knew it was Julien—the mystery bidder?
Again a big thank you for reading, I hope what you read is worth it. A bigger thanks to my voters for voting, my appreciation for you runs deep.
Love the comments, by the way, brings a big smile to my face!
Vote, Comment, and Share please.
Thanks, Shaz