I walked home, feeling more miserable than ever somehow. I thought I couldn't feel worse then when I found Jungkook was dating Yeri but nope I was dead wrong.
Jungkook lashing out on me was far worse.
'Enjoy the fall'.
The horrible line couldn't stop lingering in to my mind. It was a deadly poison or virus that lived by feeding off my misery.
I was already hours late for meeting up with Jimin and Taehee so I decided just to skip out and wallow in my own misery. My fingertips and arms were numb from the cold since when I bumped into Jungkook, my blazer ripped so I couldn't wear it.
As I cursed silently, wishing that I brought my sweater to school, snow began to fall once again. The White snow piled up onto each other.
My phone rung once again but I ignored it.
Yeri had been calling me nonstop, practically begging me if we could be friends again. I was beginning to mellow and melt so I was actually considering accepting her apology.
Only because Jungkook's words couldn't stop striking me like a lighting bolt.
Did he really have to answer? Out of all the times we've talked, why couldn't he just do what he usually do; shut me out, ignore me, act like I'm not even there in the first place but of course for the first he actually answers back.
I pulled out my phone as I checked Yeri's messages. My fingers hovered over the keyboard; hesitating whether I should go back to being friends.
The stubborn side was definitely wining against my mellow side.
Instead of messaging Yeri, I thought apologising to Jimin and Taehee was far more important. I sent them a quick message about why I couldn't show up, just stating that I ran into some trouble but didn't get into detail.
Taehee sent me a text first just asking if I was okay. I sent a her a text back but pretty much lied.
I'm not okay.
Right now I'm dying.
The road seemed long and endless. White snow covered the pathways and the coldness made my breath visible. I brushed my fingertips together, to create friction. The warmth was undeniably weak. I found myself somehow comparing it to Jungkook's hand.
When I shut my eyes all I could see was him. He's practically killing my insides, they're both killing me.
A crept up to my shoulders and I yelped in shock. I turned around and gave a small fake smile. "Jin oppa, hello."
Jin smiled and pat my head just like how Suga does it.
"Minji, it's nice seeing you but isn't your house in that direction? You seem to be heading in our dorm's direction." I blinked and looked around my surroundings.
He was right.
The softness of my coat wrapped around my body wasn't keeping me really warm so I was constantly shivering. Jin noticed this and frowned. He put his hand on my head and widened his eyes.
Jin took my wrist and forced me to enter his car which was parked by the side walk. The warmness of his car greeted me and I let out a breath of delight.
While Jin drove me to their dorm because he demanded me to stay the night, I stared outside in deep thought.
I've really loss Jungkook now.
My train of thoughts were loss when my phone began ringing. Kang Jun was calling me. I picked it up and muttered a soft hello.
"Minji! When's your birthday?" I furrowed my eyebrows. "December 21st. Why -"
He hung up on me abruptedly. Jin laughed at my stunned expression but focussed on the road. He out on some music and sung to it. Geez why does all the guys around me enjoy singing and rapping so much?
We stayed quiet for a few moments until Jin spoke up, "why do you look so miserable?"
My heart stopped and I looked at Jin, smiling a perfect fake one. "Oppa, what are you talking about? I'm not sad, look I'm smiling." I grinned widely but he just furrowed, looking somewhat hurt. "I know you're not alright. Everyone's been worried about you lately but they don't want to interfere with your problems because they're scared they'll make it worse."
I felt instantly guilty. I'm causing everyone trouble aren't I?
Yeri was hurting because of me. Suga has too much to worry about without me in it. Jun is trying it settle into a new school but he keeps taking care of me.
And Jungkook, I've probably been hiding the most from him. We're suppose to tell each other everything but I've been lying to him this whole time.
From the time I tried confessing to today. I'm the one running away from him.
"Jin Oppa I'm in love with Jungkook." I blurted out as my eyes watered. I wiped them away before I spilt my eyes open once again. Jin smiled warmly and pat my head. "You finally said it out loud."
His eyes softened and the tenseness in his face disappeared. "How long have you known?" Jin shrugged and turned the car around.
"Where are we going?"
"Big Hit. I think there's something you have to say to someone there."
Today was the day.
I'm determined to tell him.
No I need to tell him.
In a few moments we were parked in front my Big Hit. I grabbed my bag and thanked Jin for the ride before getting off.
He yelled me a small fighting before driving off.
I got inside Big Hit, showed them my special ID that Jungkook made for me and got into the elevator. Now my worries and anxiety was building up.
As I got down each floor, I was thinking all the possibilities and they were ranging from bad to worse.
The elevator stopped at my floor and I stepped out with heavy legs.
The hallway down to the dance studio seemed endless.
I felt light headed like I could pass out anytime.
By the time I got to Jungkook's music room all that echoed in my head was the same thing repeating over in my head. Loud and clear as if he was standing next to me whispering it.
Enjoy the fall.
Enjoy the fall.
Enjoy the fall.
Enjoy the fall.
Was I making another mistake?
I breathed in and entered the dance studio.
Quietly I stepped in and saw Jungkook dancing his heart out. Sweat dripping down his face and his shirt completely soaked.
It was pretty late at night already yet he just kept going.
"Jungkook." I called out. He stopped and stared at me with unreadable eyes. Jungkook turned off his music and wiped away his sweat with a towel near by. "What are you doing here?" He breathed, sounding rather cold.
My fingers played with each and I looked down.
"Jungkook I know we're not on good terms right now, and we both are kind of confused right now. I'll tell you the truth, everything. Why I'm making such a big deal of things. Why I don't want to be Yeri's friend right now. Why I need you just to listen and not say anything." He stayed silent and stared.
"It might seem ridiculous and out of the blue why I'm not friends with Yeri at the moment. But it's just that she took away the most important thing in my life right now and she knew how I would feel. I've loved this thing since I was young and I may never stop. I tried letting go so many times, but of course it just keeps reeling me in like a disease," I chuckled and paused, "I tried fighting for it but it seems to just want to be with Yeri. I feel like it's thrown me away like an old toy that no kid wants anymore." My hair fell on my face, covering it so he can't see me crying.
Jungkook walked up to me and brushed my hair away. He hugged me and gave a gentle squeeze.
His scent tickled my nose and I was about to wrap my arms around his torso but let them fall by my sides.
"Jungkook is it ridiculous for someone to love something this much?" Jungkook gave another gently squeeze, his wet shirt rubbed against my coat and skirt. "Minji I'm sorry that -"
I placed a finger over his lips. "Just let me finish first okay?" I gave a small smile.
"This thing has hurt me so many times. I have deep scars engraved into my skin, so deep that their piercing through my veins. But nope stupid Bae Minji choses to continue loving this thing instead of moving on." I gave out a bitter chuckle. "I've actually never told him that I love him. I just want to tell him to not think of anything and don't even speak a word, just laugh with me because that's enough for me.
I still can't believe it, all those times I'm with him, I feel like all of those seem like a dream. I want to tell him 'don't try to disappear'. Is it true? Is he even real? He's too beautiful that I'm afriad. Will he stay by my side if I tell him? Will he promise me? I'm afraid if I let go of his hand that he'll leave and shatter. Would he stop time for me? So we'll stay frozen in that memory when we were happy; I'm afraid if this moment passes then he might've not existed and he'll shatter."
Jungkook let go of me and stared into my eyes.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Jungkook I love you."
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Author's Notes
Well Minji finally confessed! Can you tell what song inspired her confession?
IM SORRY ABOUT NOT UPDATING, EXAMS ARE KILLING ME.