The song in this chapter is written by me, not taken by anyone else. Verse 1. Please respect my wishes of not using it in any works of your own or taking it for any other reasons. Thanks!
-KCS
Satan was being a little devil inside Sam's mind, again. No pun intended.
"Are you really going to eat that?" Is all I heard the voice say as I handed Sammy some goodies I brought with me. My jacket hung low since every pocket and hole contained candy bars, chocolate, and healthier options like protein and fiber bars... but it was mostly just candy.
I was never the healthiest person.
I remembered that I stuffed my coat pocket full with candy bars and other treats for Sam from my grocery run since I was guessing that the food in this place was probably horrible. I was right, seeing that the man gulped two snickers bars down in about three seconds after seeing them in my hand.
"Thank you, Le-Leo." He coughed and I smiled at him, genuinely.
"No problem-o." I answer him and give him another candy bar. I kept pulling snacks out of my pockets whenever a didn't guard passed by so he was able to eat them and not get them taken away. I even let him take a couple gulps of a small water bottle I stole from the front desk when I found that Sam hadn't had anything to drink in a while. The woman at the desk freaked out when she couldn't find her water bottle and blamed another patient for it. The guards ended up taking away the man, who was screaming he was innocent, and brought him in another room to teach him not to steal things, all while he yelled back that he had no clue what was going on.
I saw the whole thing and felt bad for the human; he was being charged for something I did.
I heard a feint laugh ring out and Sam stopped eating instantly, looking over at the metal table. I followed his eyes and stared at it, understanding that he was seeing the ex-angel again. Well, that peaceful moment sure didn't last long.
"You remind me of someone I once knew, phoenix." His voice was softer than normal and I raise an eyebrow, suddenly becoming self-conscience. "Someone I knew, who was very close to me. He loved sweets."
Was he really talking to me?
"Don't listen to him, Leo." Sam ordered me but I just shook my head and stayed silent, looking at the table for the voice to continue. As much as I wanted the voice to leave, I found myself curious. How the holy hell did I remind the devil of someone he knew?! I wanted to know, I was always an intrigued person at heart.
"Seems that she wants me to go on." It mocked at Sam and the brother made a tired/angered face at the ground then back at me. "I win this round."
"Sorry." I spill out. "I just am very curious, is all."
Another light chuckle. "Yes, very indeed."
It goes silent for a moment until it speaks up again, sounding closer. I knew he was 'walking' around the bed becuase Sam's eyes followed it the entire time, not blinking at all. I grow more concerned by the second, maybe this wasn't such a good idea to let him speak?
"Anyways," It began. "The way you keep pulling candy out of nowhere reminds me of a brother I had. He ate sugar whenever he could."
I frown at his words and look to Sam, who just looked shocked at how the devil was even speaking about this in a civil way. No tricks, just talking. But I reminded him of another angel?
"You remember him, don't you, Sammy?" He said sarcastically and the human looked at me with a worried face. His eyes said it all, the angel was bringing up bad memories. "C'mon, Gabriel loved you the most. Remember how much he just 'loved' Dean? The Mystery Spot? Ring a bell in there?"
Suddenly, I hear something that I never would have expected to hear in this kind of situation, ever. I raise an eyebrow and become confused.
I was listening to music... to Asia?
"Heat of the Moment?" I ask myself outloud but I don't get a comment from Sam. I was beyond flabbergasted. Why was I even listening to classic rock and why did I remind freaking Satan of his brother, the archangel, Gabriel? What the literal hell was going on anymore?
Turning my eyes over to the young Winchester, he seemed to be stuck in a trance. It was scaring me. He just stared at the ground with a blank face and zoned out as the devil laughed loudly at his uncomfortableness. I realized that the song was bringing up memories of Dean inside Sam's head; I could hear them. They didn't sound too good.
"Stop it!" I snapped. The music just sounded like it got a little louder. I growl in annoyance and then rub Sam on the back, trying to get him to snap out of it. It sort of worked, he looked over at me for a second but went back to staring at the cold floor. "Stop playing that music, don't you see he is uncomfortable?"
"That's the point, sweetheart." The voice darkly says but in a deep and soft voice. I glare at the table before groaning and patting Sam on the back again.
The song played over and over for about 148 times until it stopped and the angel apparition went away. And I now hate the song with all my heart.
After about two hours of snapping Sam back into it, getting him to take his pills, him telling me what had happened to himself over the three months, and being worried that the voice would come back soon, I finally was able to help him out with his 'little' sleeping problem. Sam agreed to what I was doing as long as it didn't hurt me, which it didn't. I just had to not fall asleep, simple.
Using some of the special powers I had, I was able to block out any noise from Sam's mind so he was able to shut his eyes for a couple hours to get rest. I had to focus on his mind for the entire time, making the wall in his head stay up as he slept soundly for the first time in days.
Since the beds were unforgivably rough on the back and neck, I allowed him to use me as a pillow for the night. I made sure no guard or doctor saw me throughout the night in the hospital so Sam could rest; I kept the door locked and whenever a guard tried to touch it to come in, I made it burn up so it hurt their hand, making them go away.
Leaning against the wall for support, I wrapped my arms around Sam's large body and rubbed his back, soothingly. My legs had fallen asleep from the weight on them, and my back was killing me, but I didn't care. Sammy looked comfortable leaning against me and using me as a pillow.
It was late, around 2 in the morning, and I just sat there and kept him safe. I didn't hear anything from Lucifer throughout the night, if anything if was only for a couple minutes each hour but I would keep it blocked from Sam as best as I could. I never saw the angel's aura at all.
"Why do you even care for him?" It asked once before going away.
Even thought I knew the voice was gone, I answered anyway in a loving voice, glancing at Sam. "Him and his brother saved me, I own them my life. They're my family."
I don't think I was ever so true in my entire life. There was always something my dad would tell me about us phoenixes before he died, how we followed a couple rules. The rules that I base my life around.
One rule was that if anyone ever helps you, you are in debt to them for all their lives, especially a human since they are fragile. You must do what they need if you and keep them safe, basically. We take generosity and aid to the heart, even if our kind (with me as an exception) didn't particularly like humans. We lived with them easily, but were never fond of them.
I followed the rules like it was the only thing I knew. I stayed by the Winchester's sides to keep them safe as best I could.
Even if we had just met not long ago, but the time didn't matter to my kind.
What mattered was that I loved them just like they loved me.
"N-no, stay away!" The large human shouted in his sleep, but in a frantic whisper. "Please!" His grip on me was like iron and he was sweating, but I didn't care. Even if I was able to block out parts of his mind, I wasn't able to block out dreams. I could swap places and take on other's pain while healing them. Taking on dreams wasn't a part of the package, sorry to say.
So, instead of just letting him fight his own nightmares, I did what I used to do when my younger siblings had nightmares of their own.
I sung to him in a light voice to calm him down.
"Hot like the flames and bright like the sun in the sky,
My heart beats for yours as long as time passes by
"Little one, do not worry, I'll keep you safe and sound.
I'll keep you out of harm's way when danger comes around.
"Nothing else really matters as long as we have each other.
In harsh pain and longing I'll hold you closer.
"My love will shine brightly even when I'm no longer here.
So take my peacful words and run to happiness, dear..."
I look down at him with calmness and keep singing, seeing he was calming down with me. I knew I had to stay collective and not let my growing dread and anxiety take over. It would ruin his sleep. I didn't want that one bit.
"Where does the fire burn?
Oh, deep in the soul.
Where the heat rages,
And you don't feel alone.
"So please close your eyes,
And sing this happy song.
For when you open them,
The cold will be gone.
"For when you open them,
I'll sing along."
The song I sang was the special lullaby my mother made for my siblings and I when we were only toddlers. As I kept singing the first verse and chorus to my lullaby, since that was all I could really remember of it, Sam's breath slowed down to normal speed and he seemed tranquil. I let out a breath of relief that it worked for his nerves - mine were flung through the roof by now. He stopped struggling and the pained look on his face went away soon during the song. I could not imagine what he was seeing in his head, I wasn't able to, but I bet it had something to do with the Infernos, or Hell, as most call it.
Letting out a soft sigh, he nuzzled into my shoulder again and drifted off into a peacful slumber. I smiled down at him, my new and loving brother, tiredly, remembering my old family and how my youngest brother, Patrick, would fall asleep on me like this whenever I sang to him. He followed me around like a puppy since I was the oldest girl sibling, even when I was just 4 years older than him, and I protected him every night from that young age and so on.
I remember how when he was one and I was still five years old, he was always scared of the dark, so some nights I would stay in his room and rock him to keep him calm and asleep. Phoenixes have good survival instincts and know helpful things from an early age, so I knew how to take care of him.
My mother and father would walk into his room the next day to find me in crib with him, my arms wrapped around him in a protective manner as me used me as a pillow.
Some nights, since my powers were so great, I wouldn't even sleep and I would sit there, watching over him and out the large window that faced our backyard and the woods.
I did this for the others, but mostly him. He was the baby of the family.
And now... looking down at Sam, even if he was older than me, I saw my brother, again. I saw Patrick, I saw my loving family, I saw all good memories in the two Winchesters.
Sam and Dean reminded me of what it was like to have my old life back, even in small amounts. To have someone to protect again.
I was tired. I haven't slept in over a week and needed to rest. But I couldn't fall asleep now, though, as much as I wanted to. If I did then Sam's mind would be open to whatever tricks the devil had up his sleeves.
I wasn't about to let that happen, I would stay awake until I died if I had to for him. I would stay awake and protect him like I used to with my own brother.
Because Sam and Dean were my family now, and I wasn't giving up on them that easily.
Not ever.
----------------------------------------------
"How was he last night?" Dean asked me as he pulled me in for a hug. I return it with a smile.
"He slept for around 9 hours, peacefully. For some reason, Lucifer did not show up to me, well, for the most part." I shrug and he smiles a little, happy that his brother got rest.
He placed a large hand on my shoulder and shook it as a way of thanks. "I can't thank you enough for helping him with that."
I shake my head. "No need to."
He got into town about nine hours ago, Dean, bringing others with him to see Sam again. Calling me early in the morning while Sam still slept, he let me know that he actually found the healer and that he was one his way back to us. I told him I would meet him out front later at night so we could break the people in, letting the special man try heal his brother.
Hours later, the day passed by so quickly and all Sam and I did was talk about what I found on the Levi's and how I may have found a spell to help him out if he couldn't get any other help. The young brother agreed, albeit hesitantly.
"Alright so where is this healer guy?" I ask and clap my hands. He phases and looks at me with careful eyes, my smile goes down. "What?"
"You need to meet someone, first, okay?" He asks, but it was more of a demand. I sigh and shake my head, allowing him to wave his hand at the car and motion someone out of the back seat. The door opened up with a small squeak and a pretty, brunette haired girl stood up, dusting herself off.
She wore a leather jacket and black pants and boots, a maroon shirt underneath. She was about my small height, but I could tell she also had a big attitude by the way she walked over to us with sass.
I already didn't really like her, but I couldn't put my finger on why.
"Leo, this is Meg. Meg, this is Leo." Dean introduced us to each other and the girl smirked at me rather funnily.
"This the fire chick you were talking about? The fire girl?" Her voice was laced with amusement and I narrow my eyes at her.
"You told her I was a phoenix, didn't you?" I ask Dean and he shuffled around, looking away from me. "And she believed you?"
"It's not that difficult to understand, sweety." She says directed towards me and I keep my hard eyes on her. She was getting on my nerves easily. "Not like I haven't heard of your kind."
"You are not a hunter." I state as I crossed my arms with sass. "You are not anything holy either. I don't see any bright aura around you."
"You're right." She smirks again and her eyes snap black.
Immediately recognizing that she was a demon, I quickly reached behind me to grab the blessed knife I always had on me. But before I could grab it, Dean's hand flew out and grabbed mine, pulling it away to calm me down.
"Whoa, Leo, it's alright. She's fine." He breaths out and I look at him with unbelief. He shakes his head at me with a dangerous face and I slowly drop my arm, returning my heated glare at her again.
So that's why I didn't like her...
"Now, since I see the tension here, I'm laying down the law." Dean says with a deep voice to us two. We both just look at him. "No fighting or getting on each other's nerves, am I clear?"
"Who said I would fight her?" Meg said to him and I shoot her a look. She shoots one right back.
"I said, am I clear?" He asked again, but it was more directed towards me. I sigh a little and let my shoulders loosen up, dropping.
"Crystal." I reply with a short breath and look at the ground, sorry that I upset Dean. I didn't like when I upset people I was close to.
"Meg, can you get him out of the car?" Dean points to 'baby' and I was guessing he meant for the healer to come out. She just nodded and strolled over to the car, opening the side door to let the man out. I glance at Dean and he sends me a face that reads 'don't even think about it'. I just nod once and look to the ground again, waiting to see the healer we needed.
"-but still. First, I have met a phoenix and later, now a demon? This... This has been an eventful week." I hear a familiar voice say as the passenger door of 'baby' opened up. I snap my head up. I see Meg helping the man out of the passenger seat but I never expected it to be this man.
My eyes fixate on a pair of sparkeling blue ones and I found myself smiling like an idiot.
"Wait, you met a Phoenix-?" Dean begins to ask in a high voice but I cut him off quickly after seeing the blue-eyed man in front of me again.
"Well, look who dropped by so quickly." I laugh a little and walk over to him. The brunette haired demon watches me with steady eyes and I try my best to ignor her. "I didn't think it would be so soon."
"Leo?" The dark haired man asks with a soft voice and takes a good look at me before smiling with me.
"Nice to see you again, Emmanuel." I nod in respect. "Didn't think that you were the one Dean told me about who would heal his brother."
"I didn't connect that you were the one Dean talked about in the car, saying how you weren't human either. I guess it makes sense now." Emmanuel replies. "I guess this Dean was the friend you bought pie for."
"The one and only." I glance at the green-eyed man, and he stares back. When I turn back to Emmanuel, I notice that he was staring at Dean with a soft look. It seems that he had gotten attached to him in the car ride. I mean, he was the only other human here.
"Whoa, whoa, wait you know him?" Dean holds his hands out and shakes his head, trying to understand what was going on. "Since when?" If I didn't know any better, I would have to say that Dean was trying to keep anger from spilling out of himself.
I turn to him and place an elbow on his shoulder, looking at the healing man and demon before us. "Yeah, I met him like two days ago and he helped me to my car as it was raining."
"Yes, she needed assistance with her pie she bought. She bought it for you." Emmanuel answers. Dean states down at me and then back at the two people, holding out a finger.
"Give us a second." He pulls me over to the other side of the road and glares at me with dangerous eyes. I get concerned quickly and back up a little.
"What?" I whisper.
He rolls his eyes. "You met him before and didn't tell me?!" He harshly whispers back.
I raise an eyebrow at him and cross my arms. We keep our voices low. "Oh, sorry. I didnt think meeting some random guy would be important!"
He sneers a little and I glare back. "Do you even know who that is?"
I furrow my eyebrows this time. "Yes, that's Emmanuel."
Dean shakes his head and rubs his face with both hands. I feel sort of offended at his actions. "Remember how I said that I lost a friend, the awkward, dorky angel, Castiel? Cas?"
"Yes."
"And remember how I said we thought he was dead, that we had no clue what happened to him?"
"Yes." I answer again in the same voice.
Dean turns me around and makes me face the man and demon, seeing how they were talking about some random topic about a man named "Clarence" and how Emmanuel looked a uncomfortable with the whole situation. I felt a little bad for him. This must be very overwhelming for a mind like his to wrap around all of this information. Plus, Meg was standing a little close to him for comfort. I felt the need to push her back and kill her since she was a demon and was standing really close to my friend, but if Dean Winchester (out of all people) trusted her, I guess I had to, too. I wasn't about to question Dean's judgement either, it was not my place to do so.
"Well, long story short, I just recently found out where he was after being surprised quite a bit." He sighs and I turn back at him.
"You found him?" I ask with a happy tone. "How did you find him? Is he alright? Can I meet him?"
"Well, from the looks of it, he is fine and it seems you two have already met on good terms." Dean says with a sarcastic smile.
I squint. "What are you saying?"
Shaking his head and Rollin his eyes, he points a little to the awkward standing man and takes a deep breath. "That's Castiel."
"That's Cas?" I ask in surprise.
"Yeah, and before you ask, he calls himself Emmanuel because he forgot who he actually was and still doesn't remember anything. He doesn't know he is an angel. So don't bring it up. Any of it. At all. I'll fill you in on any questions you have later."
He leaves me and walks back over to the she-demon and the newly found angel, talking to them about what 'Emmanuel' was going to do.
I stood back and watched in confusion and in a daze.
So that's the famous warrior angel, Castiel. Huh... he was taller than I imagined. And I guess that's why he knew what Meg and I were when he saw us. He wasn't looking at our 'faces', he was looking at our souls. Our beings. He could see them and could heal people, not because he was a devout man, but because he was created a devout follower, an angel. He had angelic powers and he didn't even realize who he really was, the poor guy.
"Never thought I would meet him like this. I saw an angel before I even knew he was one." I groan in confusion but give up, and I drag myself over to join the three. "I am an idiot."
Wow, a human, angel, demon, and phoenix all on one team, planning to help another human out. Sounded like a set up to a bad joke.
This was truly not something you see everyday.
"So, that's really the angel, huh?" I mumble to myself after studying how close the angel was standing next to Dean. I thought it was funny how he didn't even know they were best friends, yet he was attached to him and closest to him the most. How he forgot who he was yet he acted as if he knew it all becuase Dean told me he always acted awkward and out of it.
"Eh, I like the name 'Castiel' better anyway..."