Sitting on the steps outside of the motel, I focused on regulating my breathing to calm down. I didn't snap often, but when I did it was a force to be reckoned with. I skimmed my bare foot against the cracked pavement, sighing. I could really use a girl friend at the moment.
I missed having Ara and Lynn to talk to. I also missed everyone teasing me for being so naive. If only they could see me now. I was on the run from a secret organization, and at the same time rooming it up with two boys. One of whom I seemed to have feelings for.
I had thought all those emotions disappeared when Rosen acted like an asshole after he practically forced me from my hometown. But apparently,as a defense mechanism, my heart went on the backburner while my brain took charge. It seemed now that the roles had switched back to normal again, and my heart was leading my actions. That was the only reasonable explanation to why I kissed Rosen. Scratch that, that was the only reasonable explanation for why I liked Rosen in the first place.
"Can I join you?" Cole asked, coming up behind me and breaking me from my thoughts. I nodded as he took a seat on the step next to me. He didn't say anything for the first few moments, and I was starting to think he wanted me to begin the conversation. "Look, I'm just looking out for Rosen. Him and I are like brothers, and I don't want to see him get invested into something that'll only hurt him in the end."
"I get it," I say softly. "I'll be gone soon and it's pointless anyways," the words tasted like salt in my mouth.
Cole sighed. "I want Rosen to be happy, and I think you make him happy. He seems more... open and laid back with you around. He isn't so paranoid about the Def. As much as I hate to say it," Cole looked at me and met my gaze. "you two seem to be good for each other." I bit my lip, unsure of where he was going with this. "I know that no matter what I say, I can't stop this from happening. But the both of you are just setting each other up for heartbreak."
"Cole, I understand that whatever happens between Rosen and I can't go anywhere. That's why i'm going to try and take a step back." I breathed in deeply. "But it's going to prove harder than I thought. I didn't think I cared about him anymore, but all the feelings came rushing back and ten times worse than they had been in Shorely." I paused, hesitating. "Although none of that matters, because what Rosen said to me back there proves he doesn't actually care."
Cole gave me a sad smile. "Trust me Ellie, I've known Rosen my whole life. He cares. More than he should. He's just pushing back at you since he also realizes this. Hurting people is his best defense mechanism, and he's damn good at it."
"I don't know if that makes me feel much better, but thanks," I said, a small smile coming onto my face. Surprising me, Cole reached over and patted my hand.
"It'll all work out," he reassured before standing up, brushing off his pants. "Coming?" he offered his hand to me and I took it, pulling myself up. I didn't really want to go back in the motel, but it was growing dark and I didn't want to be left outside alone.
I avoided Rosen when I first got back to the room, and instead opted to head into the bathroom to change. When I came out, Rosen was spreading a blanket across the couch.
"I can take the couch," I offered hesitantly. I knew I was the odd one out here and deserved to sleep there.
"It's fine," Rosen waved it off. "We can just do rotations every night." I opened my mouth to protest, but Cole beat me to it.
"Or you two could always share the bed, then everyone is comfy," he sarcastically exclaimed with a grin. Rosen and I both stared at him. Didn't he just tell me he basically didn't want Rosen and me together? Cole held up his hands. "Hey, I gave my speech to the both of you about thinking this is a bad idea. Doesn't mean i'm going to stop it though." Rosen chucked the pillow at his head and I felt my face flush warm.
"Just stop talking before I make you sleep on the couch every night," Rosen grumbled, picking up his pillow and crawling under his sheet on the couch. I held back my smile as I snuggled down into the paper sheets. They scratched against my skin, but I barely even noticed. I had forgotten what my bed back home even felt like.
Cole shut the light off and the three of us drifted into silence. I heard some rustling, and felt my heart rate pick up speed at sleeping in the same room with all of them. Sure had last night, but we were all so exhausted we practically passed out on the nearest cushioned area we could find. Staring up at the blank ceiling, I tried to figure out how my life got flipped upside down.
☾
"I have a question," I pondered the next afternoon, tapping my thumb against my thigh as I sat on my bed. Rosen was taking a shower, and Cole was mixing up a pot of coffee on the desk in front of me.
"Shoot," Cole replied, not turning as he poured some sugar in his mug.
"Was it the Def that broke into my house? What were they looking for?"
Cole sighed, stirring the dark liquid before cradling it in his hands and blowing at the steam. "Yes, that was the Def. They were most likely looking for any connections between you and Rosen. At the time they hadn't known where Rosen was hiding in Shorely, but they found you pretty easily." Cole explained. "They obviously must have seen you two together eventually, and that's when they made their move to get you,"
"Okay, but if the Def are as skilled as you say they are, why couldn't they catch Rosen that first night in the alley? And if they knew he was in Shorely, why didn't they get him quicker?"
"The Defaecatio send young recruits to try and catch runaways. It's one of our first missions outside of the compound. The ones sent to retrieve Rosen and I were careless, they made stupid mistakes and were unsure how to go about bringing us back. That's also why we remained in Shorely so long, we figured the Def would give them a month or two before sending in the big guns," Cole's gaze slid to mine over the rim of his coffee cup. "Plus Rosen was very against leaving until he knew you were safe, which of course backfired just like I knew it would"
I tried to refrain from the blush rising up my neck. "But the guys in the alley seemed older than Rosen?" I questioned, pulling my memories from that night.
"Of course. The Def aren't going to send all young kids. They usually have about four men our age who lead the capturing missions like these, but all of them consist of the worst in the class. The ones who survived all the tests up until graduation, but aren't skilled enough to get the real missions afterwards." Cole explained, right as the bathroom door opened. Rosen stepped out, steam trailing behind him as he towel dried the rest of his hair.
"Thanks for answering my questions," I said to Cole, not bothering to look at Rosen for too long.
"Anytime," Cole muttered, downing the rest of his coffee.
"So what's the plan for today?" Rosen asked, slumping down onto the couch as he looked at Cole. I could clearly sense him trying not to look at me.
"You're usually the one in charge, up to you," Cole said, narrowing his eyes slightly at his friend.
"Alright then, I think we need to stick on the down low. We have no clue if the Def know where we are or not. First thing we have to do is get some supplies, stay stocked up for as long as we can without having to leave the room. After a few days we'll relocate to another motel and do the same." Rosen started listing off on his fingers, clearly used to being in charge. "Hopefully after a few weeks we can start heading back to South Carolina and drop off Ellie. For now, we just need to focus on staying hidden."
Cole nodded along. "Sounds like a solid plan to me," he grinned. "We should stock up on some more guns though, we only have a few left after leaving most back with Amanda."
"I'll work on finding an underground supplier nearby who won't ID us," Rosen said, his hands tapping the couch. "We could probably get Ellie a phone too, just in case we get separated," he added, finally looking over at me. He seemed a little hesitant by the idea. "but you can't call anyone besides us. Including the cops, got it?" he demanded sternly. I rolled my eyes, not phased by the heat in his tone.
"I'm not stupid," I muttered. Although, the first thing I had did with Knox's phone was call my mom.
"Okay, i'll go to the bank and pull some money and then we can go," Rosen said, standing up.
"Wait, you aren't going to rob a bank are you?" I questioned, slightly concerned. Rosen started laughing.
"No," he shook his head. "We have a bank account with money we stole from the Def. Started it our first year when we got out but they never caught on to us having it so it's still open." Rosen explained. I internally sighed in relief.
"That doesn't mean we haven't ever robbed a place though," Cole pointed out, with a shrug. It was still hard for me to believe the stuff they must have done while working for the Def. Although the way they talked about how ruthless and violent the Def were, it seemed we hadn't run into any yet. Even Knox hadn't been very brutal when he kidnapped me.
I decided to take a shower before we had to leave, so I gathered some of the clothes the boys had brought along from Amanda's and slid into the still steamy bathroom.
When I stepped out about half an hour later, I noticed Rosen was already back. He and Cole had a whole wad of cash stacked on the desk, and were dividing it up between them. They both looked up when I left the bathroom.
"I think we're all set," Rosen said, standing up and stuffing a bunch of cash in his wallet. He took out a few bills, and tucked them into his back pocket. Cole swiped up the rest of the money, putting all of it into his front pocket.
"Ready?" Cole asked me. I nodded in return, following them out of the room empty handed. Everything I had was back in Shorely.
We stopped at the store first filling our shopping cart up with loads of microwaveable meals. The motel room didn't have a kitchen, so our choices on what we could make were somewhat limited.
Right as we were checking out, Rosen got a phone call and he left the store to take it, leaving Cole to pay for the groceries. The both of us piled bags into our hands as we walked the parking lot back to the car. Rosen was leaned up against the trunk, nodding along into the phone with a serious expression. By the time we had reached him though, he had ended the call and was now waiting for us.
"That was the gun supplier, he said we can meet him today right away," Rosen explained, assisting in piling the bags in the trunk of the car.
"Sounds good to me. Ellie is coming too?" Cole asked, nodding towards me. Rosen grimaced.
"Yeah, it's best for all of us if we stick together." he replied.
We dropped off the groceries in our room before heading back into the car and towards this supplier. I had no idea what this was going to be like, or how Rosen knew of an underground gun supplier in Ohio.
When we parked in back of the building I immediately started shaking my head.
"No." I said flatly, staring up at the neon sign blinking in the setting sun. "There is no way in hell I am going in there,"
Cole hid a smile while Rosen remained completely serious. "We have no choice," Rosen said. "We have to do this. Just stick close to me and Cole and you'll be fine."
"I can't believe I'm about to do this."
OOOh where do you think the supplier is?
Thanks for reading everyone! So thankful for all the reads I get and every vote counts so thank you! :)