I just realized I forgot to write this chapter so let's squeeze it in here wood and by wood, I meant woo. Stupid phone water you doing.
UFGIFJFIUG I HAVE A THEATRE PERFORMANCE TOMOROOW (WOW GOOD JOB PHONE DO U WANT AN AWARD FOR THAT?? actually my performance was last week bc im still writing this chapter oops) AND IM PEEING MYSELF CONVULSIBG AHH I CABR TYPE I MEABT CAN'T OKAY YHIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE.
Moving on. The next chapter's a Farry and I already have everything planned out after that! Weeheeey (✿◠‿◠)
(except i lost my planning paper oops)
What do you call a tweaking pig?
Beef jerky.
xx
~I DON'T HAVE FLOWERS LALALA~
[FLASHBACK TO WOLVERHAMPTON DAYS YO]
Eponine's POV
"Eppy."
"Holla."
"Babe, you've been standing here forever. Are you ready to go in yet?"
"No."
Liam sighed. "She'll love you! Ruth did."
"Yer mam's not Ruth."
He chuckled and brought the hand of mine he was holding and pressed his lips to it.
This is why I want to shove a brick up Liam Payne's nose.
Can he not? Ugh, perfect men and perfect faces and perfect voices and perfect bodies and perfect manners and perfect pink (a manly pink, of course) lips and perfect brown puppy dog eyes and perfect hair and perfect laughs and perfect everything.
I. Smiley face. Hate. Smiley face. Liam. Smiley face. Payne. Smiley face. So. Smiley face. Much. Smiley face, exclamation point, one one one one.
But we love each other, so no big deal.
HEAD SWIVEL THAT'S RIGHT.
IT HAPPENED.
Insert awkward bootylicious twerking here.
I am no longer a loser ugly duckling.
I am a freaking swan.
A butterfly.
A parasaurolophus.
....Don't ask.
But yeah. Liam and I told each other we loved each other. We're just cool like that.
It's been the best twenty six minutes (and 7.5 seconds, not that I'm counting) of my life
And so here we stood. After our walk, Liam suddenly could not wait whatsoever to introduce me to Mama Payne.
I was scared to say the least. A bit fright. Even more scared than Fae was when she locked herself in the bathroom stall at the London Dungeon. Good time. (Sammi and I laughed at her and ditched Fae because we're awful friends. It will never not be funny. In still laughing to this day. Yes, that laughter in the back of your mind is me. MWAHAHAHA.)
He turned me to face him and used his index finger to tilt my face upwards by my chin so I had to look into his heart melting eyes. "You'll be fine, love."
THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP.
NO, THAT IS NOT A RABBIT.
THAT IS MY HEART.
ACTUALLY WHO KNOWS? IT MIGHT BE A RABBIT.
ALTHOUGH I DOUBT THERE'D BE RABBITS IN WOLVERHAMPTON BECAUSE THE RABBITS'D BE ALL SCARED OF THE WOLVES.
IF YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT WAS A KNEE SLAPPER JOKE, I'M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, SON. I SHALL NAME YOU KENNY AND YOU SHALL ME MY KENNY AND YOU SHALL BE MINE.
I'M REALLY CONFUSED AS TO WHAT I'M SAYING RIGHT NOW.
I should probably stop screaming at you, innocent little Eponine mind children.
Good thinking, Eppy.
Life Lesson #101: Sometimes it's okay to speak to yourself. (And by sometimes, I mean never.)
Woah, how did I end up inside Liam's house?
He must've dragged me inside whilst I was innerly screaming.
Cheeky lil' guy, that Liam Payne.
I looked around, taking in my surroundings. Absorbing them, if you will.
Sometimes I am a sponge.
His home was...well, just that. A home.
It was cute and cuddly and smugly (that almost rhymes if you plug your ears while you say it). I don't even think smugly's a word. The house wasn't highly luxurious, although I didn't necessarily expect that. Sometimes stars needed a break from reality in a place like this. A place where you'd try and ask your fat Aunt Sally to get off the couch because she's sitting on your guinea pig without getting pinched in the cheeks (the facial cheeks unless you've got a really pervy Aunt Sally) and without being smothered in ruby red kisses. The place where you'd kindly fetch your Grandpa George's dentures that flew across the room even though you were cringing and trying to hold back vomit in the process, and despite the fact no one really has a freaking clue as to where Grandpa George came from because your mum thought George was your dad's father and your dad thought George was your mum's father. But in the end, it didn't matter if you were really related to him or if he was really just a creep off the street because either way, he was your family and you were in your cluttered but very happy home.
What on earth am I saying?
I'm not sure, but that was deep. I think I'm going to make myself cry.
"Mum? We're home!"
"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." I covered Liam's mouth with my hand.
"Yer mam'll hear youse an' come find us!"
"That's kind of the point, love," He mumbled against my hand (it sounded more like 'thah Kevin uf that poof!' in my opinion.)
"Um..Yeah, Kevin uf poof! Good job Liam!" I praised.
A slimy tongue wet my hand, causing me to make a very realistic pterodactyl noise. Before I could move my hand away, Liam took it and held it, his own hand enveloping mine.
"Liam!" I scolded. "Ewwie!"
I don't know why I said ewwie, so don't question it. Can I call Loumeister Ewwie Louis now?
Liam chuckled and pulled me into a huge hug (omg those biceps im sobbing), resting his head on top of mine.
"There's nothing to be afraid of! The worst thing that could happen would be somebody tickling ya to death." He told me, amused.
I raised my eyebrows slightly in confusion even if he couldn't see them. "Why would I get tickled ta dea-" Liam probed me in the sides before I could finish and suddenly, world war two broke out right there in the house of Liam Payne.
...And by two, I meant three.
I didn't fail history in secondary school. What are you talking about, hm!?
I squeaked as Liam tickled me, bursting into a loud giggle fit and trying to push him away, thrashing like a wild kitten whilst trying to protect my stomach.
A huge eye crinkling grin spread across his face and every time I tried to escape his arms he'd pull my small frame back to him, tickling me more fervently than before.
LIAM JAMES PAYNE.
I SWEAR I WILL PEE ON EVERYTHING YOU LOVE. AND YOU KNOW HOW I GET WITH MY URINE.
"Awh!"
"Look at 'em two, mum! Propa adorable, is it not?"
My idiot boyfriend finally stopped his attack, although the smile never left his face as he turned me around towards the voices, breathless and red faces, pulling me next to him by his waist.
The woman alongside one of Liam's sisters was petite. She had short blondeish brown hair and bangs covering her forehead.
Such descriptive words, right?
I should win an award.
A huge grin mirroring Liam's was echoed on her aged face as she watched us. The smile was almost like a hint or footprint left behind from the past and I could see what she would have looked like years ago when she was youthful and ripe.
She stepped forward, enveloping my future husband imeanwut in a hug first. "Liam!" The lady cried, obviously dead chuffed to see her son return home again.
Then she turned to me and my heart beat like Sammi's fists against the Nando's doors when we arrive after it's closed.
I smiled, nearly peeing my pants. I should really see a doctor about what's been going on down south what with it's excessive need to relieve itself because I'm positive Mrs. Payne would not enjoy her nice, polished wooden floors decorated with a puddle of Eppy pee.
That was way too visual and I apologize for the imagery I've just given everyone.
"And you must be Eponine! We've heard so much about yas! 'M Karen, Liam's mum." She greeted before taking me into her arms like she did Liam. I immediately wrapped my arms around her as well, finding comfort in how much the hug reminded me of my own mother. It was impossible to not feel relaxed in Karen's hug, making all doubts of whether or not they'd want to mount my head on a stick drift away.
"It's so lohvely ta meet youse as well! Leeum's told us a lot about ya too! I couldn've hardly wai'ed ta come doon ta Wohlva'amptohn n' see ya!" I chirped, hoping my thick Geordie accent wasn't difficult to understand. I indeed chirped, yes. Like a bird.
I hate birds.
So much.
Once a bird pooped on my shoulder.
Stupid birds.
"Come on you's! We've got a dinna in the dinin' room an' then we can drive you's to the concert a few hours before ya need to be there."
************************************************
"Ahh! Leeum, look at yer bum!" I squealed, highly amused at the embarrassment evident on my boyfriend's face.
After dinner, Ruth suggested we take a look at Liam's baby pictures (she had promised to show me during our shopping trip) and I couldn't help but comply as Karen made us tea!
Mwahah.
Haha.
Evil laughter.
Choking.
Dying.
Just kidding.
"I doubt 'Ponine wants to see any of that, Ruth." Liam grumbled, his face resembling that of a sad little puppy's.
"On the contrary, Lee, I'm dead mint reet now! Enjoyin' meself with all of these pictuahs!" I protested, giggling with his sister as she flipped through photo albums.
A scream pierced my ears suddenly, making Liam jump up from the couch and Ruth drop the photo album, her eyes growing wide.
"Mum!?"
A few seconds later, Ruth came running into the living room, coughing as a thick column of smoke began to creep it's way out of the kitchen. She barely had time to let one oxygen choked word out of her mouth before Liam, Ruth, and herself began running out the front door, "Fire."
Karen barked to her children and I orders to run to the end of the street.
My limbs felt like jello as my brain tried to process what exactly meant and I scrambled up from the couch, heading for the door.
But then I hesitated.
This was Liam's home.
The place he grew up in.
This is the one place unaffected by all of the fame.
My mind flickered to the thought of the fire, most likely started by Karen's attempt to boil water for teeth, inside of the kitchen where Liam's chubby baby face used to get covered with his mashed potatoes as he flung fistfuls of the food at the walls. The fire that would soon devour the root of all of Liam's childhood memories.
Before I had time to tell myself I was an idiot, I ran into the kitchen, coughing as a new cloud of grey smoke enveloped me, the ashes getting into my eyes, my throat, my hair.
I stumbled around before dropping to the ground, still coughing, still choking, trying to desperately make my way over to the stove. Once I did, I stood up despite the protests of every bone in my body and ripped the pot of fire off of the stove.
Still coughing, still choking.
I couldn't see where the windows were, so I ran for the front door.
The fire crawled onto my hands, my arms, scorching my skin.
Still coughing, still choking, my limbs screamed and I let out unhumanlike screeches.
I couldn't see; there was smoke everywhere.
The only thing I could register was the heat, the smoke, and the distant sound of a wailing emergency fire truck. And screaming.
I finally, still coughing, still choking, finally found the wide open front door and threw the pail of fire and burning water outside, safely away from Liam's home.
I didn't know.
I didn't know Karen would be there.
I didn't know she was coming back for me.
Karen let out a blood curdling scream as she soon because a column of fire.
Horrified, I ignored my own inner resistance and shoved her to the ground, trying to beat out the flames.
I didn't reckon setting a mother on fire would sit too well with the boy you were in love with.
He didn't try to save me, was all I could think as Karen and I, no longer coughing, no longer choking, but screaming with the unbearable pain as we both burned, becoming the fire itself.
**************************
"Eponine!"
I bolted upright, drenched in sweat, as my head hit Fae's bunk above me.
"Ow!" I groaned, a hand going to my head.
My hands.
They weren't burning.
My blankets were wrapped around me much too tightly, trapping an uncomfortable warmth around me.
"Are you alright!? You just threw this hat at me in your sleep."
"Huh?" I rubbed my eyes, which were covered with sleep and the darkness of the room rather than ash and smoke, to focus on Sammi across from me in her bunk, the curtain draped open.
"What the hell?" A voice from above me asked, still coated with slumber.
"But..the fire!"
Sammi looked at me oddly. "You're weird." She declared before turning in her bunk to where her back faces me and reaching behind her to close the curtain.
"Karen-"
"You and Liam came back from Mrs. Payne's hours ago, Eppy. We finished the concert too and saw her afterwards." Fae yawned.
"What?"
"Go to sleep."
***********************************
DON'T LOOK AT ME I JUST HAD A WHOLE ENTIRE CHOCOLATE BAR WHICH TRANSLATES TO I DON'T KNOW WHY I WROTE THIS OR MADE IT SO DRAMATIC SORRY.
Anyways.
VOTE. COMMENT. FAN.
Before I update, I want us all to bop to the top.
That sounded a lot lamer than I thought it would.
BUT ANYWAYS.
I will update the next chapter once the following happen;
A) This chapter gets 250 votes.
B) This chapter gets 100 comments. (And if you comment one hundred times, you're awesome, but I mean from different people. i see through your little plans mwahaha)
C) I get 600 fans.
D) The @FuriousAntics twitter account gets 50 followers because I actually want to start interacting with you guys more. :D
Thank you so much for reading! Have a great week and I'm too lazy too look for typos as per usual.
(If one of you wanted to correct every typo I made in a comment or in my inbox or on my message feed I will love you 5ever and dedicate the next chapter to you.)
also, please, please, please go read my other fanfics birthday and creatures of the night and maybe comment and vote if you're feeling extra nice? thank you!
xx