"If I only I could do that, how nice it would be. If only we could go anywhere to eat and watch a movie comfortably. I would do anything..."
~Just One Day-BTS
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Taehyung bit his lip. "Um... Hello..." He said. She was so...angelic, looking at her even in her school uniform, she looked so beautiful, he felt like he didn't have a right to talk to her, seeing how very f*cked up his life was, what he'd done, where he'd been.
She didn't look up, maybe she didn't hear him. Maybe she doesn't care. Taehyung thought about just forgetting about it, but when he glanced back at Jimin, he shook his head.
He took a deep breath, then slid onto the bench next to her. "Hello." He said a little louder. She still didn't look. Taehyung reached up tentatively and tapped her shoulder.
She dropped the bread she'd been slowly feeding to the birds and looked up at him, surprised. Maybe she hadn't heard me. Her pretty eyes stared at him, wide, scared at first, then she seemed to recognize him and calm down.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you..."
She was quiet, then she nodded.
"I just...What's your name?" Taehyung asked, at least then he'd be able to put a name to her face, at least then he'd know what to call her, what to think of her as when they took him back to the padded room.
She looked to the side, biting her lip. Then she looked back at him blankly, frowning.
His heart was already in pieces, the fact that she didn't even want to tell him her name just crushed him. Am I that bad? Jae-hwa must have already told her, she must hate me. "I'm sorry." He cleared his throat, looking down at his hands in his lap as he messed with a fingernail. "I didn't mean to..." He wasn't sure what he was saying sorry for, but he felt sorry.
He stood up, about to leave when she grabbed his wrist. Taehyung looked at her, confused. She just released his wrist, looking down again, then she looked up, shaking her head at him.
Taehyung sat back down. He was even more confused.
She pointed to her ear and opened her mouth, shaking her head.
Taehyung licked his lips. She was so pretty, her lips were so perfect. But he had no idea what she was trying to tell him. "Are you sick?" Was all he could come up with, and he felt terrible as soon as the words escaped his mouth. They called me sick, called me a murderer, said I needed medication.
She smiled, pointing to her ear again, then shaking her head, she mouthed something that looked like, "Nom, nom nom." then shook her head again.
Taehyung tilted his head. "...I'm sorry, I don't..."
She held up a finger, then searched the ground for something, then picked up a twig and wrote in the dirt, I'm sorry, can't hear, deaf. =) Then she smiled at him.
Deaf? Taehyung studied what she wrote again, then looked back at her. She surprised him by pointing to him, then at her chest, then running a finger down her cheek before tilting her head. He swallowed. She's deaf...
I wonder how much that hurts? How much it hurts to know you can never hear anyone's voice? "Crying?" He asked. She nodded, pointing to him. "Me?"
She nodded, then pointed to herself before taking the twig again and writing, Jae-hwa in the dirt. Then she looked back at him and pointed to him and then herself again, then running her finger down her cheek again.
Jae-hwa, you, me, cry. "She made us cry?" Jae-hwa made her cry too? Taehyung didn't usually think of hurting anyone, but he wanted to hurt Jae-hwa, if not physically, then mentally, emotionally, like he hurt Taehyung everyday since their 'family' adopted him.
She nodded. Then bowed slightly, looking back up at him with sympathy in her eyes. Taehyung didn't need to guess that one, 'I'm sorry'. The pity in her eyes wasn't as bad as Mrs. Park's, or Jungkook's, or Jimin's, Taehyung wasn't sure why, maybe it was because her life wasn't perfect either.
"I'm sorry too..." Taehyung said, looking down. He wondered how Jae-hwa had made her cry, what she had done to her.
She tapped his shoulder, and when Taehyung looked up, she was putting fingers to the corners of her mouth, pulling them into a smile. After a moment of him just looking at her, she took the twig and wrote in the dirt, What's your name? I'm Hana.
"Taehyung." He said. Hana. Her name is Hana, that's such a pretty name. He'd make sure to remember it when they sent him back, when he was staring at the ceiling by himself waiting for either someone to give him a pill or feed him.
She frowned. And he realized she'd just been reading his lips all this time, she probably didn't know what he said. He took a twig from the ground and wrote his name in the dirt. I'm Taehyung.
She smiled. Taehyung didn't, looking back down at his hands. All this time, he'd hated pity, but it was exactly what he felt when he thought of how she couldn't hear him. He hated himself for thinking it, but he couldn't help it. But I wish she could hear me...
She tapped Taehyung's shoulder. Taehyung looked up to find her making a fishy face, puckering her lips and putting her hands by her ears moving them back and forth like gills.
Taehyung looked at her for a second, then he felt a grin creep up to his face, big and rectangular, and he couldn't stop it at all, or the deep giggle that came out of his mouth. He covered his mouth, turning away from her. It was obvious he was still laughing, his shoulders shaking.
She just looked so cute, so silly, he couldn't help himself. Damn it. Please don't think I'm crazy. Please let it be that Jae-hwa didn't tell you about me yet. I don't want you to leave too...I don't want you to run away.
But he couldn't tell what she thought if he wasn't looking at her, so he looked up at her, only to find she was making another silly face, crossing her eyes and puffing out her cheeks.
Taehyung couldn't stop giggling. "Ah, Hana-ssi, stop...!" But with him laughing like that, she couldn't possibly read his lips.
She stopped for a second to write in the dirt again. I like your smile. =)
You like it? You like it? Why do you...? What do you mean? It's...it's... weird, it's not normal, why do you like it? Taehyung tried to stop his giggling.
She checked the time on her watch, looking surprised at what she saw. Then she got up, bowing to him quick before waving and mouthing something. It wasn't hard to guess that she was mouthing, "Bye, Taehyung-ssi."
"B-Bye, Hana-ssi..." He said, still trying to recover a bit from the laughter. He imagined he was still grinning like an idiot.
She waved again, then scooped up her backpack that she'd stashed next the bench before running down the path and past Jimin. Taehyung had forgotten he was there.
Jimin watched her go for a second too before coming to sit next to Taehyung. "How'd it go? She tell you you're hot?" Jimin asked with a smirk. "And what was with all that writing?" He asked, looking down at the dirt where the words she wrote were still on the ground.
"She's deaf..." Taehyung started, licking his lips, having finally stopped laughing. He was thinking about what she wrote. I like your smile. "She's an angel..."
An Angel who Jae-hwa will tell lies to. Taehyung bit his lip. He'd forgotten about Jae-hwa for a moment.
~~~
Hana, Hana, Hana. Taehyung lay in bed, stared at the ceiling, thinking it over and over. Why'd she have to do that? Tomorrow, Jae-hwa would ruin everything. Tomorrow might be the last day he was free like this, the last day he'd see Hana, the last time he'd see Jungkook, or Jimin, or Mrs. Park or...
Why did you do that? Why did you... Taehyung took the pillow and gripped it too his chest. He felt his body start to tremble, tears starting to fall from his eyes. Why did you have to do this to me, Hana?
"I-I don't want to leave, I don't w-want this to stop, I..." Taehyung threw the pillow, then pulled the comforter up to his face. "I-I want...I want..." He couldn't continue, he voice too choked with sobs.
I hate you, Jae-hwa, I hate you, all you've ever done is take everything away.
Tomorrow was another day of school, maybe the last day. Either way, it was another day for Taehyung to be publically humiliated and for him to be proven crazy, Jae-hwa could do it in a day, over the lunch hour, though a series of passed notes.
School would be hell. She'd make sure of it. Taehyung wished he had someone who would understand, someone who would actually believe him, who didn't think he was crazy behind their smile, wished he could tell someone everything.
He wanted to stop tomorrow from coming.
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A/N: I listened to "The Love Club" by Lorde, it surprised me how much it reminded me of this. The words are pretty accurate O_O Like...Wow, okay. Maybe not from Tae's perspective, but, you know~
I went back and forth with Hana, she's not going to be an easy character to write, I feel it >.<
And she and Taehyung are 'speaking' to each other very formally, that's why they keep saying "Ssi", I didn't know how else to express it~ ^-^
I've been noticing I'm making a lot of spelling mistakes that look like grammatical mistakes, please tell me if you see them?
~Neri (Now Haru-man feels extra sad ;____; )