We came into the house and it seemed different somehow, as if that one night away had changed it completely. Or maybe it was the bare walls and patches along them not yet sanded or painted. I was surprised to see the wreckage had been cleaned and had zero doubt in my mind that Alessio had had no part of the cleaning process.
I stalked through the house and was surprised when I entered the living room. Alessio was awake. He was sitting on the couch in just his slacks, a bottle of bourbon in front of him, glass in hand head hung low.
Pietro cleared his throat from behind me and Alessio jumped to his feet. "Katherine!" I glanced to the glass in his hand and he set it down immediately. "I, well I wasn't sure you'd be back."
I took a heavy breath in and let it out. "Well I do live here....I do still live here, don't I?" I asked uncertain of exactly how angry Alessio was at me still.
"I sure hope so." He muttered and glanced down to my attire and then back up to me. "Katherine-" He took a step forward.
I raised a hand and he stopped. "I'm going to get a shower."
Alessio nodded and slowly sat back down. I watched him for a moment reach for the glass in front of him and then turned back. Pietro caught me before I passed him.
"Go easy on him." He muttered and kissed my forehead.
This confused me more than words could describe. I mean, certainly I was upset with Alessio but he was still had a bone to pick with me as well and he was the one with the gun the power and the money. Alessio should be the one going easy on me.
I sat in the bathtub for several minutes before actually turning the water on. I'd spent too much time in here lately. I had been so torn about the Nash thing I'd found my porcelain refuge quite often in the past weeks. When I made my decision, once and for all, I supposed I thought things would have gotten better. Not worse.
Alessio was pissed. Alessio had every right to be pissed. Of course, Alessio had no idea what to be pissed about. He was jealous, he was jealous and he didn't even realize that screwing around with Nash would have been so much better than what I had actually done. Maybe.
So he was mad. Talk to me, yell at me, break up with me. Don't call me a whore, shove me into a wall, and bend me over the kitchen counter when I say no.
Then again, talking to Alessio had been the last thing I'd decided to do once Nash handed me all those files.
Maybe Alessio and I were a good fit. We surely had similar jumping to conclusion skills, similar failure to communicate skills. I'd like to say we both knew to stop at the last second but I still didn't know if Alessio had stopped or not.
I showered. A long shower. Longer than necessary. Alessio must have had an industrial sized hot water tank though because the hot water never ran out though so when I exited the shower with pink skin and saw Alessio sitting on the bed fully dressed this time I wasn't honestly that surprised.
We stared at each other for a few long seconds before Alessio finally broke the silence. "Have you eaten?"
It was incredibly lame, cold, a distant question, and so very Alessio. "Pietro fed me."
He nodded and still wrapped in only my towel I sat down on the bed beside him.
He shifted on the bed to turn to face me and I admired the bruise on his jaw, just to the right of his chin. I hadn't seen a bruise on his beautiful face since Giovanni had taken to it. I would have loved to have said something, but I had no clue where to start.
Alessio finally cracked a weak smile. "Hi."
I guess that was as a good a place to start as any. "Hi." I parroted in a similarly nervous and guarded tone. On cue, a lump was already lodged in my throat. I had thought about this all night. Thought hard and my conversation with Pietro hadn't assured me of my relationship much more than Alessio had.
He skimmed me over momentarily with a frown so deeply carved into his face I was unsure that I would ever be able to etch it away. "Did I hurt you?"
I thought about that too. Thought hard. He'd pushed me, that didn't really hurt, it scared me stiff but it didn't hurt. We'd fallen into the wall together and that hadn't felt great, but it wasn't as though he'd done that on purpose. Sliding into the island had definitely hurt, and I was right, it did bruise, mean and dark tender spot just under my ribs, but he'd slipped. In the kitchen - well...that didn't hurt. Before I could answer I was crying again. Physically, Alessio hadn't hurt me. Not really.
But when his expression softened and he reached forward to try to wipe the tears away I pulled backwards. Hurt flashed across his perfect and bruised face but he pulled his hand away quickly. "Katherine, I...I can offer you little more than an apology."
I stood, covering my face. "I have to get dressed." With my hands over my face I nearly stumbled over his feet. I would have loved to head back into the bath tub but I forced myself into the walk in closet.
"Get yourself together Kate. Your relationship depends on it you little shit." I muttered to myself and paced back and forth up and down the closet. I ran my fingers along a row of clothes as I walked and stopped at a particularly soft sweater. I moved pressed the dark grey fabric between my index finger and thumb. Very soft. I pulled it off the hanger and found myself a pair of yoga shorts. I slipped them on under my towel and then pulled it off and ran it through my hair. Underpants be damned.
Uncle Sammy used to always say not to get caught with dirty underwear, no underwear had to be better than dirty underwear, right?
"Katherine." I jumped at the sound of Alessio's voice and dropped the towel and the shirt.
"Jesus, don't sneak up on me like that." I muttered and bent over to pick up the things I'd dropped. I pulled the shirt to my chest and turned around to face him, he was right behind me and I took a step back. "Go back in the room, I'll be out in a-"
Suddenly Alessio was on his knees in front of me just the way he had been the night before when he'd drunkenly proposed, he was eye level with my naughty places but his focus was elsewhere. He reached out and I flinched backwards, sucking in a breath when his fingertips touched my bare skin.
"You're bruised." He muttered.
I pulled the sweater over my head and took a step backwards. He remained on his knees hand still raised as if I was still there. "We slipped."
He looked up to me looking at me as if I was in incredious one. "Slipped." He repeated flatly.
My brows came together. "Why do you say it like that?"
"That's almost a worse lie than running into a door."
"Well great, it's not a lie." I huffed. He leaned forward and pushed the sweater up to expose my stomach again, goosebumps prickled across my skin but I didn't pull away this time. "You're making me uncomfortable." I said softly as if there was someone else in the room I was hiding our conversation from.
He glanced up to my face and lowered his hand letting the sweater fall back down over my stomach again. Then as if nothing had happened he stood up and walked out of the closet. I sighed heavily and put my hand over my chest. "Get it together Katie. Get it the hell together."
The sweater was baggy and the sleeves came past my fingers. It was a man's sweater? Alessio didn't wear sweaters.
Deciding the case of the mystery sweater was really not all that mysterious or interesting at all I followed him out.
I came out of the closet to see Alessio on the bed exactly where I had left him, as if he had not moved a muscle and was still seated on the bed facing forward. I took a deep breath and walked into the room again. He finally looked up when I was close enough. He glanced to my breasts briefly and then let his attention fall onto my face. "Are you alright?"
"I hope to be."
This answer didn't seem to please him much.
"Do you remember everything?" I asked airing on the side of caution.
He shifted uncomfortably, this vulnerability not suiting him at all. "Not as much as I would like." He admitted. I was a little surprised he didn't just lie or ignore my question all together. "The bruises?"
"We slipped Alessio. In the kitchen." Before you practically assu- I took a deep breath and shook the thought out. I had already decided how I wanted this conversation to go, if I took myself back to the kitchen now I would be all kinds of screwed up. "I know you slept like a baby last night and I don't blame you for that, truly. But I've got to think about this all night."
"I won't sleep for three days if it makes you feel any better."
I shook my head. "You being miserable and grouchy won't make me any less miserable and grouchy. I just want to talk Alessio."
He eyed me suspiciously. "You want to talk?" I nodded. "You don't want to throw my clothes on the lawn? Set my mattress on fire? Cut holes in all of my socks? Run over my phone?"
"I - well - Jesus Alessio what kind of girls have you been dating?"
He forced a slight smile but it didn't reach his eyes. "You just want to talk?"
I nodded. "I love you Alessio." His face seemed to relax almost immediately.
"I love you Katherine, last night I was-"
I held my hand up and he stopped. "I love you but I know that that is not always enough of a reason to stay with someone."
He looked confused for a few seconds and then his expression clouded over to something completely blank. His poker face. "I understand."
"Which is why I want to talk. To see if we have reason to do this. I...I need to know where you are. Some of the things you did and I mean...things you said."
"The proposal. I know, I know I'm a fȕcking moron-"
"Not the proposal Alessio...let's start from the beginning of the night rather than talk around in circles." He nodded and I hesitated. "Alessio. Did you, did you cheat on me?"
He watched me, his face unreadable but I knew he was studying me. "No. But fȕck if I didn't want to." Well shit. That was...honest. "And not because of her, it wasn't like I wanted to because I met someone I wanted to with. I just wanted to hurt you. I was questioning everything. About you and I, about myself. I saw all these changes in myself, it's a piss poor excuse but I was lost. Not in the moment, but from myself. I don't even know who I am with you Katherine. These changes, I'm not sure I like them or trust them. It's risky, I take risks for you I normally wouldn't. I was pissed, thinking of you cheating on me. My anger and my jealousy out weighted my trust for you and it was wrong. I just couldn't get your fȕcking voice out of my head. I couldn't make you shut up, and fȕck I just wanted to hurt you."
"I almost wish you would have wanted to just because of her." I muttered weakly and forced a smile. "I didn't cheat on you, for what it's worth."
"I know." He groaned and leaned back. "I fȕcking know. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. When I drink- damn it I won't even try to make excuses. It was in poor taste."
"We have our moments."
"It was a lap dance. Oscar-" He stopped and closed his mouth abruptly. "Oscar suggested it, Lux even asked me if she should stop, I said no." He was taking responsibility for his actions, I had to give him that. But somehow hearing her name made me instantly feel sick. Alessio didn't miss this either. "She was no one Katherine."
"I kinda liked it more when she was just a she and a her." I said forcing another weak smile and slowly sat down on the edge of the bed letting at least a foot between us.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm surprised you would even go to a strip club. I mean, it doesn't seem like your scene."
"It isn't, and I didn't. We went down under. Since the casino was raided Oscar has got his grimy little hands on my club." He sighed. He sought my eyes and I turned them over to him. "I never moved it."
"What?"
"I told you I would relocate...I never did. Still the same club, same location, some of the same girls."
"Y-you never-"
"I didn't think it necessary. I trusted you." My brow knit together. How could Alessio have trusted me so much after only months of knowing me then, how could I have felt confident enough in his character then to not pursue his mafia, in any of my stories, and yet when we find each other years later and have a full blow relationship we both jump to conclusions and offer the other zero trust? "Mia cara, don't cry." Alessio muttered but did not try to close the distance between us this time.
"I'm sorry." I muttered and brought the tips of my fingers along the rims of my eyes. "I'm fine. So the club." I urged him to continue as I tried to wipe my tears.
"There is little else to tell. I accepted her lap dance and she spent the rest of the night on my lap. When we had a moment alone and your voice in my head was too much I flipped her onto the couch and I wanted to do something but I couldn't. So I punched Oscar instead."
"Did you kiss her?"
"No."
"Do you promise on absolutely everything?"
"Yes Katherine I didn't. I couldn't. I came home and threw a fȕcking fit. I didn't do shit with her. I let her sit on my lap all night and I held her and if you did the same I would cut the fȕcker's head off, both of them if you know what I mean. I crossed a line. Maybe that is cheating, I'd think it was if you did it."
I let out a long breath. "What do you remember about coming home?"
"Drinking." He said flatly. "Yelling at Simone and Siv, thinking I broke my hand off the wall and getting so pissed about my hand that I threw a chair through the television." I wondered if that was the glass shattering I had heard. I honestly hadn't got the chance to fully inspect the house last night and I'm sure it would have been fixed by now. "And then you came down. I remember what I hope is most of our argument, and pushing you..." He trailed off and took a moment to search my face looking for me to fill in the blanks of what he couldn't remember. I apparently offered him little and he repeated his earlier question. "Did I hurt you?"
"Would you have stopped?" I blurted out.
"Stopped?"
"In the kitchen. Would you have stopped if Pietro wouldn't have come in?"
He looked beyond confused now. "Why would I have stopped?"
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TGIF am I riiight?
So I've been working on this chapter for what feels like FOREVER, and I think it's nearly done but came up to over 5k words. I liked the first half but the second half is still up for debate....so I simply cut what once was one big chapter into two smaller chapters and decided to post this half early :D
Still working on the second half/next chapter but it should hopefully be up by Monday! Hopefully.
Now is going to come a real test of their relationship, I suuuuuure hope Alessio has a good excuse for that one because right now it's not looking good....
I'd also like to address something else real quick, a lot of you have mentioned Kate not coming clean about Nash. And I heard you, I just can't see that working. I mean, he'd HAVE to kill her or something if he knew right? I even tried to write it in the chapter, several different ways (I have a word doc titled "Alternate" that has about four different versions of this chapter) and it just really doesn't work out, I can't see anyway that he would accept this. I can promise you she's not just going to get off the hook with the Nash thing though, it'll come back sooner or later, but it really just did not work in any way shape or form for her to just admit it to him and him to just forgive her. I have a plan you'll just have to be patient.
And oh yeah, vote and comment (;