Chapter Ten: Confrontation
Do you ever get this feeling of dread when look at someone you really don't want to see? Well, that's how felt Monday morning when I knew I had to her again. I sat wallowing in Geneieve's diary for as long as I could. My mom came up occasionally to either try to coax me out of bed, or give me food when I wouldn't eat. Dad tried to talk to me in anyway possible, even cracking a few jokes to which I couldn't help but laugh at. But today was d-day and I was officially screwed. I tried to relax as I went through the motions of getting ready. I brushed hair lazily just trying to get the tangles out. I dressed in denim shorts and an over sized tee shirt. I slipped on my keds grabbed my bag and walked out into the world.
"Morning,sweetheart. You feeling any better?" I nodded and grabbed an apple.
"I got to go, I don't want to be late." I hugged her goodbye feeling her belly through her shirt. I hopped on the bike my dad purchased for me, after being tired of hearing me complain about my body aches and pains. I peddled fast trying to eliminate all the stress and confusion. It was pretty windy this morning so my hair kept flapping in my face. But hey, maybe I'll get that windswept look. I pulled up to the school locking my bike in the rack and barely skating by to get into class.
"Someone's cutting it close," My homeroom teacher chastised. I rolled my eyes and took my seat. I kept my eyes straight ahead to not catch any sight of her. But I could still see her in the corner of my eye trying not look at me. I sighed sadly and laid my head on the desk waiting for announcements to finish and for the teacher to release us.
The rang loudly in my ear signally our dismissal. I walked out fast wanting to dogde any confrontations. But I guess today wasn't my lucky day.
"Hey," Carson called out to me. I ignored her and walked faster trying to make it to the stairs in a good enough time. I was just about to make it to the stairs when I was wrenched to the side and stuffed into the supplies closet.
"Shh," She whispered in my ear. I pushed her off me roughly feeling the burning desire to slap her square in the face.
"What the hell?!" I whisper-shouted to her.
"I-I just wanted to talk to you, after Sunday." I rolled my eyes not believing a damn word she was saying.
"Why would you have any reason to talk to me? I mean weren't you so drunk out of your mind that you couldn't remember that we made out on the bathroom floor!" I gasped for air trying to calm down. She stared at me like she did before in the bathroom still confusing the hell out of me.
"I don't want to remember, Lux. It was just a stupid thing to do, and believe me I do shitty things when I'm drunk." I nodded slowly. "Why do you even bother with me in the first place then. Don't you hate me?"
"I thought I hated you, and I probably do. I'm just...confused." I rubbed my forehead slowly trying to find a way out of this mess.
"Look, just pretend that what happened Saturday night didn't happen. I'm happy with just-" But, then I paused. And as I thought an evil idea crept into my head. I thought about my original purpose for befriending Natalie, to get back at Carson. I mean if I twisted with her mind a bit in the process who could it hurt?
"If you really want to talk to me," I said slowly. "Then you need to find a place that isn't school supply room." With that I walked out of there as fast as I could just barely making it to my next class.
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I made it through the day by full out ignoting basically everyone. I answered any question when called on. The girls didn't really demand my attention at lunch so I got away with that. But, I couldn't stay away from Kiara of all people.
"Haven't talked to you in a while," She snarked as I entered the restroom. "I mean since you joined the queen's high court." She inhaled her cigarette, letting it billow slowly out of her mouth.
"Well, its been a crazy couple of days." I replied lightly. I propped my self on the bathroom counter and stared to the ceiling unsure what to do next.
"What time is it?" I said after a little while. The cigarette smoke engulf my lungs.
"It's a quarter to three so the school day is almost over." She sacarastically chirped. "So tell me how is over there in the ice queen's quarters. You feeling the freeze yet?"
"Yeah, something like that...I just really don't feel like talking right now." She nodded solemnly and continued to smoke her cigarette.
"You want take a hit, I'm sure it will relax your nerves. Plus I hate seeing you crabby like this." She pouted. I shrugged, what else did I have to loose.
"I'm gonna take the smoke into my mouth and then inhale it to yours.Okay?" I nodded and parted my lips as she took a puff. She inhaled and leaned closer to me, just a centimeter away from my lips. She exhaled and I quickly inhaled it into my lungs. I tried to resist the urge to cough while I slowly exhaled the smoke back into her mouth. In the position we were in, anyone who could have walked in would have thought we were kissing.
I heard the door swing open, but it was too late. Carson stood there dumbfounded as Kiara blew the smoke into my face.
"Something the matter?" Kiara said innocently. I could feel the heat prickle my face turning me red.
"Ms.Napierly was just looking for Lux so I came to get her." Carson said a little too calmly. She smiled a painful smile as she motioned for me to come with her. I looked to Kiara for support but she just smiled and said, "You should get going, I wouldn't to be accused of influencing you." I sighed and followed Carson out of the bathroom.
We walked in silence, Carson clenching and unclenching her fists.
"Are you okay?" I asked her softly. Obvious she wasn't, but I just needed her to confirm it.
"I'm fine," She seethed. She stopped and leaned back against the locker. She sighed roughly and raked her finger through her golden locks.
"I just have one question, Why are you so pissed that I didn't acknowledge our...whatever it was-"
"A kiss, we kissed Carson." I interjected.
"Yeah, that. But like I was saying why were you so pissed when you have a girlfriend." I looked at her as if she had two heads. A little bubble of laughter sat in my throat as I thought of having Kiara as my girlfriend. A) She is way too messed up to even be remotely monoagmous*. B) I'm most certainly not a lesbian. Right...
"You must be very jealous, or stupidly delusional. Kiara is definetly not my girlfriend. Hell, I'm not even gay." I nervously giggled.
"Whatever, just leave me alone." She said sullenly.
"You were the one that dragged me into the closet and brought this up. I was perfectly fine with ignoring the whole situation. I mean getting made out with in the bathroom with a girl is my ideal everday experience." I exasperated.
"Apparently it is," She mumbled.
"So were back on that again. We weren't even kissing we were smoking." But, when I said it, it wasn't that convincing.
"I didn't know you had to share lips to share the cigarette."
"Why are we even discussing this. I don't belong to you, I'm not gay, and even if I was why the hell would I care if you cared that I was kissing someone who wasn't you." With that I walked away. I'm tired of all this crazy stuff that keeps continously happening.
Somehow I missed her footsteps coming down the hall after me. But, surely felt it when she yanked me backward onto the locker.
"What are you doing?" My heartrate accelerated thumping hard against my chest.
"Whatever I want," She whispered in my ear. She gripped my thigh as she kissed me up my neck.
"Stop," I moaned lazily. Why the hell was I acting like this?! I didn't want this girl anywhere near me peforming whatever magical tricks she was play on my neck. I should be saying it felt horrible and disgusting, but my weak knees and soft moans weren't really portraying that very well.
"Do you really want me to stop," She crooned as she reached my lips. I bit my lips and shook my head slowly. She smiled against my lips as she kissed. I grabbed the back of her hair bringing her deeper into the kiss.My other hand squeezed her body closer to me.
"Thought you hated me." She mumbled against my lips. I flipped over so her back could be to the locker.
"Still do," I said as I brushed my lips against her collarbone.
"Then why...are...we making...out in the...middle of the...hallway?" She said shakily when I sucked lightly on her neck.
I stopped and looked at her, flushed and slightly disheveled. Why were we doing this? I mean I loved doing it but why?
"I don't know, I just like kissing you." She nodded in agreement.
"So, what are we then?" I asked slowly. I fixed my hair and straightened my shirt as she did the same.
"Uhh... I don't know. We're certainly not friends." She said with a sad smile. I nodded in agreement because the only things that I feel for Carson is at best: lust and hate.
"So are we like, frenemies with benefits?" It sound funny to say but that was the best way to put it.
"I guess it rings better than enemies with benefits."
"Okay, but there has got to be some rules. First, what you did back there wasn't cool. Jealous isn't an option, especially when I was doing nothing in the first place." She nodded as I continued.
"Secondly, this has to be the best kept secret of your life. And we shouldn't even really talk to one another outside of...this." She agreed and I thought how exactly this would work.
"And, under no circumstances can feelings develop." She added. With that covered we walked back to class with silently plotting for our next meeting.