I held back tears as I closed my journal. I had been sitting on a checkout counter in a grocery store, waiting for Alex to get back. The back of my hand wipes across face, capturing the stray tear that somehow escapes. As I swallow, I feel a lump in the back of my throat, reminding me how close I am to crying. I start to get up and leave, when Jessica struts in.
"What are you doing? God, you are such a freak." She grumbles as she walks by me. Typical Jessica. I don't say anything or do anything, but I get criticized and called names.
"At least I'm not on skinning duty." I mumble underneath my breath.
She whips around, giving me a death glare. "What did you say?" In a sassy tone.
"Greetings everyone, I have returned! Come hither children, I come bearing gifts!" exclaims Alex, in his mock English accent. He has three dead rabbits slung over his shoulder, and a giant smile plastered over his face. "WE ARE EATIN GOOD TONIGHT MY FRIENDS!" He shouts, jumping on a turned over shelf.
There's nobody like Alex to get you out of a gloomy mood.
Wow! Three whole rabbits?" I exclaim jumping off the counter.
"Yeah, I think everyone has to call me 'King Alex, Master of the Hunt'." He proclaims.
"Oh really?" I smirk. "I guess you can be on official hunting duty from now on." I start helping him untie the ropes around the rabbit's legs.
"Ugh, no." He wrinkles his nose from thought of hunting permanently. He's so adorable. I think to myself.
"I should go find some vegetables to add to our glorious feast while Jessica is skinning." I say, once we are done untying the rabbits.
"Ewwww, I don't want to skin!" Jessica complains in her whiny bratty voice.
"Well, it's your turn, so suck it up." I'm so fed up with her whining.
"You know what you little-"
"Shut it both of you." Alex orders. We know when to stop because Alex rarely get firm with us.
"But-" She persists.
"I. Said. Shut. It." His dead set face tells her she better stop.
"Later!" I shout starting to walk out the door. I get almost outside when I turn around and hear Alex and Jessica talking.
"I don't wanna skin." She whines.
"If you stop complaining, I'll just do it. Goodness, it's not that big of a deal." He sighs. I think he's tired of her too.
"Thanks Babe!" She says in her sweetest voice. I swear to god she skipped away. She absolutely disgusts me. But that's what she does, that little slut. She calls guys "babe" and "love" even though she not dating them. Maybe I'm just bitter because I have a major crush on him. And possibly a little jealous, because a hot cheerleader has a better chance with the hot athlete rather than a nobody. Right? I really hope I'm not too virulent or mean. I don't mean to be, it's just... her. We have history with each other, so I guess that justifies my attitude towards her.
Alex and my eyes meet. He rolls them. I laugh. He turns back to the job of skinning the rabbits. I turn back to go gather some vegetables.
"This is really really good!" Charlie exclaims. "I haven't had a meal this good in, like, weeks."
"Mhm!" I agree, mouth full.
"Whatever." Jessica grumbles, picking at her food.
We get a grunt from A.J. That's a good sign, because it's the most sound he's made all day.
"Told ya I'm the king of hunting." Alex grins. "Good idea about the Vegetables Em, they really bring the meal together." I had found the jackpot, a whole carrot and zucchini.
"Thanks." I blush.
As we all sit chomping down on our meal, I think of how happy I am to have these people surrounding me. It's been really tough the past few months, but they have relived some of the strain that's been building up.
We are sitting on the floor of an abandoned grocery store. We had figured that there might be some food here, since well, it was a grocery store. But, it had been completely picked over. There was the town garden just a block down the road and that is where I found the carrot and zucchini.
As we finish our meal, I stand up and start to leave.
"Where are you going?" Alex calls after me.
"For a walk." I reply, not in the mood to talk to anyone.
"Freak." I hear Jess mumble underneath her breath. I ignore the comment and keep walking out the door. I don't really feel like getting into another argument with her.
Feeling the nip of cold air refreshes my swirling mind. I walked along the cracked sidewalk, it clearly needing some TLC. But so did many things in our little town. Weeds had squirmed their way into every nook and cranny, overgrown bushes and trees reached out and grabbed your face when you walked by, trash littered gutters and backyards. Abandoned cars patiently waited on the sides of streets, broken glass glistened in the dying rays of the sun, and lawns so wild they reached up to your knees. The town looked like it had been uninhabited for months, and that was almost true. When the end of September hit, people just completely gave up on everything. Survival was the only thing on their mind. Since survival was all they cared about, law was one of the first things tossed out the window. People looted grocery stores, convenience stores, and pretty much any shop you could think of. They figured that they were going to die anyway, so may as well go provisioned.
It was now the beginning of November, almost four months since the first outbreaks. It has been three weeks since we had made our little group, and we have grown pretty close to each other. There is a light snow sprinkling from the sky, and I can tell it is going to become heavy as the night drags on. The snowfall and cold has been extremely light so far, so I'm guessing that we are going to get the cold snap later in the year.
Aspen Colorado, a small gorgeous little town almost in the middle of the state, had a small population of about 7,500. Had. Now my guess is that we have around 300, if that. When Occisor first broke out, people got scared. Really scared. So, they started to leave and try to go to less remote places. Little did they know, the disease got everywhere.
Suddenly, I jump in surprise as I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Sorry," Alex apologizes, "I didn't mean to scare you."
"It's ok." I breathe out, trying to calm my racing heart. We keep walking in silence.
"Uh." He said, trying to break the silence. I stay quiet, wanting to see his real reason for coming out here. "So, uh, how's life?"
Is he serious? How's life? What type of question is that? How's life, well hm, my entire family is dead, I'm constantly starving, I have no home, I have the one girl who I wanted dead constantly whining in my ear, and I haven't showered two weeks since there's no running water or electricity. So yeah Alex life is going just dandy.
All I do is give him a funny look. He's fumbling with something in his pockets, a clear sign that he is nervous. What's he so worried about? I sit down on a tree stump, and he sits beside me. "Alex, what are trying to tell me?" I straight out ask him, not in the mood for guessing games.
"What's your-," he starts looking down at his feet. "Never mind." He hastily says. I'm actually really confused at this point, but I just shrug it off, knowing that he'll spill it later. "Remember when we used to have parties over there?" he smiles with a faraway glaze covering his eyes. He's looking across the way at the Grunge. The Grunge is an abandoned convenience store that held the most insane parties every year. There would be massive speakers in the parking lot, and you could mingle and dance as much as you like. Nobody would judge you if you were awkward or weird, because for the most part everyone would be drunk or high. Inside of the convenience store, there would be Bongs, hard liquor, and beer kegs available to anyone who wanted some. There would only be parties for special occasions though; grad night and one night in the middle of summer. The Grunge was about a mile from residencies, so usually no one called the police. But if they did come, the party was so massive that it was futile for the police to try and break it up.
"Yeah I remember." I smile dreamily. I know I said I was a nobody; but I was a nobody that knew how to have fun.
"We have to go!" I plead to Alyssa.
"Cant, I'm busy."
"No you aren't you liar." I quickly respond.
"Your right, I just don't want to go."
"Whyyyy?"
"Cause, I've gone every other year."
"Please, just this once. You know you love to party."
"........Fine." she says after a long moments pause.
"YESSS." I shout, probably bursting her eardrums on the other side of the phone.
"Be at my house by six so we can get ready."
"Yess! I can't wait!"
"Mhm. Later." She hangs up.
I'm bouncing with excitement by the time I'm at her front steps. She opens the door and I run up too her room, her following slowly behind me. I jump on her bed and start blabbing of how much fun this is going to be. She sits on her floor with one eyebrow raised, giving me a questioning look.
"Are you on drugs or something, girl? I have never seen you remotely excited to do anything social or get dressed up for anything." She was right. It's like we had switched roles or something. Usually, she's the girl who stays up late drinking and partying, and I'm the girl who's at home in an oversized hoodie, snuggled up in bed with a book and a cat. "It's a guy, isn't it?"
I blush.
"Oh god, no. Seriously?"
"He's just a bonus for going!" I defend myself.
"Girl, you have got to get a life." She snorts, laughing all the way to the bathroom. She grabs a whole bunch of makeup things (I have no idea what anything is), and starts putting it on me. I just obey her commands and let her do her magic. In two hours' time, we both look really hot in my opinion. She has a very tight short red dress with red eyeshadow (I just learned what that was, wow I feel like a girl!) and I was wearing a short black dress. I had to admit, Alyssa made me look really hot.
Flashing lights. Ear bursting music. A songs who's bass made the ground shutter. Sweaty people grinding on each other. Cigarettes and beers being passed around.
Summer break baby.
My heart fluttered as me and Alyssa walked to the uproar of sound. She started talking to a couple of her "party friends", but I wasn't paying attention to her. My eyes were fixed on someone else. He was standing with all the sports jocks. He had a beer in his hand, but the entire time I was watching him he didn't take a sip on once. He was laughing with some of friends, and of course Jessica was there, draped on some other jock. My heart ached just seeing him, but I would never have enough courage to approach him in front his friends. I just had to wait and watch, because that's what nobody's are meant to do.
I snap back to attention when I hear a rustle behind me. That was a pretty good night, dancing and drinking, but the real highlight was seeing Alex outside of school.
November 3, 2103
We stopped by the grunge today. It was weird, there was so many memories hidden and engraved in the cracked white-washed walls. I know that Alex definitely had a lot more experiences there than I did. I remember the last time I went to the grunge. It was for him. But isn't it always for him? Looking nice especially for fourth period (we had the same science class), looking for just a glance of him in the halls, the heart ache of knowing that I had no chance of being with him. It really sucked, because we don't pick who we fall in love with. And it never happens like it should.
I hope reader that you don't think that I am creepy or stalker-ish. I'm really not. But I hope you can relate to me by having a major crush. Just seeing him made my day better. But now it's different. I see him every day. I talk to him every day. And now I don't like him as much. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like him, but the whole crush thing has lessened. I'm sorry, you are probably bored of my girly talk, but this is my journal so oh well.
-Farewell till next time my Friend