Hello my favorite people! So I'd like to shamelessly ask, that if you're a fan of 5 Seconds of Summer, not sure if anyone is, but I started writing a fanfic called Wanderlust, and if you would be so kind as to check it out, that would be amazing. Vote and comment please!
Corrine
Fear is something I've always had, and never realized that one day I would have to face it head on.
We have been doing practice runs through our fear landscapes for weeks. So far, I have five fears. The dark, falling from the bridge, small spaces, open water, and bugs covering my body. I've managed to barely get through each one, with unimpressive times.
I'm meeting Eric early this morning at the practice area. He said that he wanted to try something. I've hardly been able to see him, because he's afraid that max suspects something. I only have to wait one more week before I can be around him whenever I want.
"You're here." He smiles as I walk into the room, closing the door behind me. I have to stop myself from skipping over to him.
I stand on my toes to wrap my arms around his neck, relishing in the feeling of his arms holding me close to him. He leans down and presses his forehead against mine.
"I miss you so much." I whisper to him, touching his cheek with the palm of my hand.
"It's killing me to sleep alone, honestly." He teases, rubbing his nose against mine. I giggle before he lightly brushes his lips over mine.
Every time he kisses me, it feels like the first time. Like fire was bursting through my lips and electricity was coursing through my veins. It was a feeling I would never forget.
"I want to try something. Something to help you." He pecks my lips once more before leading me over to the chair. He sits down and pulls me down to sit between his legs, my back against his chest.
"What are we doing?" I ask confused.
"I'm going into your fear landscape with you. To practice. If I can help you realize that you really can do this, then I want to try." He says as hooks a few wires to us and reaches for the serum syringes.
"I don't think you want to go in there with me. Eric it's..horrible." I rub my hands together nervously.
"I would do anything for you. Do you not understand that? The depths I would go for you? Just let me try." He snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me closer. I sigh loudly and nod my head.
Eric pushes my hair from neck, his fingertips brushing my skin and causing me to sigh, and him softly laugh. Then he gently plunges the needle into my neck. I watch as he does the same to himself. I close my eyes and melt into his chest, my fingers lacing with his.
When I open my eyes again, it's dark. So pitch black that it's endless. My breathing picks up as I realize I'm back in this nightmare.
"It's okay." Eric's voice says. His fingers still laced with mine. I still jump a little when I hear him.
"It worked. You're really in here with me."
"Of course. Now, you have to find your way out, and quickly. The way a Dauntless would." He says into my ear. I breathe deeply, trying to calm my racing heart.
"Okay." He doesn't let go of my hand as I stand up and shuffle my feet across the floor.
I bump into the body again. Shuffling backwards when I do. Remembering the got blood I put my fingertips into the last time.
"You can do this. Keep going. How can you get out of here." He talks to me comfortingly and gently.
I grasp his hand tightly, as I lean down towards the body at my feet. I flinch when my hands touches blood, but instead of curling into a ball and giving up, I let my hand travel over it lightly, until my fingers brush over something cool and metal. I wrap my hand around it and pull it from the body.
A flashlight.
I laugh a little, almost feeling crazy with relief as I click on the light. I shine it down a little, until I can see Eric's face. I small smile on his lips.
"I got it." I smile at him, until the hand grabs my ankle, knocking me to the ground and the flashlight falls from my hand. I scream out, kicking furiously at the hand until it releases me and Eric pulls me up, I grab the flashlight again, calming my heart beat.
The landscape changes to the bridge now, but this time, I'm already hanging from it.
"I can't pull you up, Corrine. You have to get through this." Eric says. He's standing at the end of the bridge, unable to move.
I groan and try to hold on, watching my brother walk right past me. Then Ricky and Marie, shaking their heads, kicking the water into my face harshly. I can feel myself slipping farther. My mind is racing, trying to think of a way out.
Then Eric comes into view. Not the Eric waiting for me at the end of the bridge. The Eric who didn't want me.
"You really thought I cared about you?" He says like last time. I close my eyes trying to block it out. And right before he brings his foot down on my fingers, I use every ounce of strength I have to swing my leg up onto the bridge, swiping it under his legs and causing him to fall. I get up, running towards my Eric and watching the landscape change again.
Now we are inside the room with shrinking walls. I hate this one, I feel like I'm suffocating.
"Make the walls stop Corrine." Eric huffs.
I scramble around grabbing anything I can to shove under the small crack of the wall. I push with my feet trying to stop it. It keeps moving.
I start to panic, looking around. I notice the gun strapped to Eric's waist, I grab it from the holster, and shoot the power box at the end of the room, causing the walls to stop in place just in time.
"Good thinking. Take a gun to the final test, will ya?" Eric smiles and breathes heavily.
When it changes now, I immediately feel my lungs start to burn, realizing I'm under water. I kick my legs up to the surface, Eric coming up next to me.
"What do I do?" Flailing around, looking for anything. But there's nothing but gray water as far as the eye can see.
"There has to be a way out of it. Keep looking." He encourages.
The last time I was in this landscape, I tread water until my body gave out. I decide to start swimming, and I swim until I get pains in my sides, Eric following behind me.
"Wait...look!" I shout. There's a rock formation. Just a few small ones sticking out, but it's enough to climb up on.
We reach them quickly, sitting against the rocks in out wet clothes, barely catching a breath before it changes again.
I'm stuck in the glass case filled with cockroaches. I push my body against the glass trying to get away from them. Snacking them off my shoulders and pulling them from my hair.
"Corrine. Focus. Calm your heart rate." Eric says from outside the box.
I close my eyes, trying to breathe, but I feel them crawling up my pants legs. Trying to force their way in my mouth, I slap them away and whimper.
"I can't. There's too many of them." I say looking at him through the glass.
"Yes you can. I believe in you baby, you can." He presses his hand against the glass. I watch his eyes and wish that I was holding him, feeling his hands on my bare back. His lips on my collar bones..
And before I can think further, I'm out of the bug filled case, standing in front of Eric.
"I..I got through it." I reach out for him, but he shakes his head.
"There's a another one. A new one." He says.
I walk through a door way, where I see my parents, my brother, and Eric kneeling on the floor, someone standing behind each of them with a gun press to their heads.
"No! Stop!" I move towards them, but I'm stopped by someone, who hands me a gun.
"Who are you going to choose?" He says. My chest rises and falls rapidly as I hold the cold gun in my hand.
"I won't do it." I say with clenched teeth.
But as I do, one of the men pulls the trigger and my father falls against the ground. I clasp my hand over my mouth as I scream.
"No! Please! Let them go." I sob, watching my fathers lifeless body against the floor.
"Who are you going to save, Corrine?" The voice says again.
"I can't.. I can't choose." I slump to my knees against the floor. Another trigger being pulled and my mother falling to the ground.
The got tears run down my cheeks like waterfalls.
"Please don't make me choose!" I scream and cry simultaneously.
"Choose. And do it now."
I wipe my face, standing again and walking to stand in front of Eric and Finn.
"Corrine, you have to help me." My brother begs. His eyes are panicked and I can feel my heart clench.
"It's okay, Corrine. Just shoot me." Eric says. I looks down away from me.
"No. Please don't make me do this." My hands shake so fiercely I almost drop the gun. I try lifting it, pointing it between the two of them.
"Go ahead, baby. It's okay." Eric says gently.
I wrap my finger around the trigger, closing my eyes.
"I'm sorry." I whisper, right before I pull the trigger of the gun, that I aimed at Eric.
I cried and screamed until I felt Eric's arms back around me in the training room. Gasping for breath and turning around to grip his tshirt in my hands.
"Sshh. It's okay. You did amazing." He wraps me in his arms and strokes my hair as I sob into his shoulder.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Eric, he's my brother..I.." I try to explain my actions, but he cuts me off with his lips pressing to mine.
"No. I understand Corrine. You did what you had to." He whispers against my lips. I smash mine back to his hungrily. Soaking in as much of him as I can.
"I don't ever want to have to choose." I say when I pull away.
"You did well, initiate." He smiles and wipes away my tears. I smile back, shaking my head.
The worst thing I'll ever have to do, is choose between my family and the person that means more to me than my own life.