The dismissal bell rang. I stared at the figure that sat in front of me.
Four hours had passed,
Four hours and twelve minutes to be exact. But Jimin was still here with me.
I was still dumbstruck from his presence. There's this fear bothering me from inside all this time. The fear that this would turn out to be only a dream, the fear that I was only hallucinating, the fear that Jimin will once again disappear from my reach.
"Jinhee-yah, help me with our chemistry homework would you?" he turned back and faced me.
"Huh?" I broke out from my thoughts and tried grasping his words.
"I-I'm not good at chemistry though.." I continued.
"Me either. But together we have great chemistry," he said, grinning ear to ear.
I laughed at his sentence, he had just made me realize that I've missed him so much more than I thought.
"This babo."
I reached out my arm to poke his forehead. But then I stopped my hand midways.
I don't want to hurt him in any way.
He stared at my hand, which then awkwardly I pulled back. He was going to say something about it but I was faster and spoke first.
"My house?"
"Hmm.." he mumbled, "What about mine?"
I blinked my eyes. He rarely wanted me to come to his house, well except in the mornings. Even though he loved his mom and little brother, he used to hate being home.
"Jinhee?" He leaned forward, his face getting closer to mine.
"Y-yeah, sure." I flinched back.
We packed and left the classroom. Mobs of other students were also leaving the building. I unknowingly smiled when our feet stepped out the school grounds at the same time.
It has been two months huh, Park Jimin?
"If you don't want me calling you crazy, you should really stop staring at the ground and smiling without any reason at the same time."
I laughed and looked up. Spring was almost over and the day was warm. We walked through the same route we used to walk together on, side by side in a matching rhythm. Our hands brushed at each other's for a couple of times. Jimin tried making lame "knock knock" jokes and I laughed at his attempts. Everything felt so right, yet so wrong at the same time.
We finally reached his house. I stared at the front view of the building. I haven't been here since that day and haven't met Mrs. Park and his brother since his funeral. I inhaled the typical smell of his house the moment we stepped in. I realized that I also miss this house of his and his family. His brother suddenly appeared from the kitchen, carrying a bag of chips.
"Hyung, you're home!"
"Yeah Jisang, and I brought Jinhee ahjumma* along." he giggled and handed me a pair of house slippers.
I was going to smack him. But the moment I saw his smile, I held back my action. The smile of his that talks louder than his words, it reminded me of all the pain he had went through and how vulnerable he is. I just can't get myself to add up his pain.
"Hello noona!" Jisang approached us.
"Hey cutie," I ruffled his hair.
"I'm not a cutie! I'm on my 5th grade now," he stepped back and made me chuckle.
"I'm on my 5th grade now," Jimin mimicked Jisang's voice, "Yeah right, I bet you wanted me to help you open that bag of chips."
Jisang frowned at his hyung, but then gave him the bag. Jimin helped his brother open the bag and teased him for being weak. Jisang curled his lips and made weird facial expressions as his hyung was laughing at him. I watched the both of them from the side and smiled at how adorable they were. They are good people and deserve happiness. My heart was a little pained as I remember that they had went through so much, especially Jimin.
It all started about one and a half year ago.
He had just turned 17, while my birthday was still two months away. We were studying on our first year in high school. We used to take turns visiting each others' house either to study, hang out, or basically do nothing. Anything was fine as long as we're together. It was a cold October night when Mrs. Park caught her husband red-handed, cheating on her.
Since then, the Park's residence were more like a war zone. They would yell at each other at all times or even throw things at each other when the battle of the screamings got too tense. Jimin's room was in the second floor, but their curses were clear enough for us to hear.
Each time they fought, Jimin would go check on his little brother on the next room and I would follow him. Park Jisang was only a 3rd grader, yet he had to endure hearing such harsh dialogues of his parents. Jisang was only in the Kindergarten when I first knew him. He was cheerful and bubbly, wanting to be "cool and tough" like his hyung even though Jimin was nowhere near cool and tough. But Jisang would usually be crying on the corner of his room each time we opened the door. Jimin then would hug and comfort him, staying strong for his brother even though inside, he was also broken. I watched the whole scene with my heart in pain, saying a few comfort words once in a while since I know I wasn't supposed to butt in their family matters.
The peak happened at the very night of my 17th birthday. It was a ten minutes past 12 am, December 12th. I was still awake since it was the weekends. Jimin would usually call me or spam my phone with birthday wishes but I waited as any of it is yet to come.
I was tossing and turning on my bed when a plastic bottle cap suddenly flung and hit the window of my room. I approached the window and since the curtains were opened, Jimin waving from the street in front of my house can be directly seen.
I rushed downstairs, trying to keep the noise down since I don't want to wake up my parents. I unlocked the door and saw Jimin standing outside the gate, flashing a small smile.
"Park Jimin! What are you doing?" I asked while unlocking the gate.
He didn't answer. But as soon as the gate was unlocked he swung it open and walked inside, pulling me into a tight hug. I was surprised at his sudden actions and didn't know what to say.
"Happy birthday, Lee Jinhee."
My heart warmed the moment his soft voice reached my ears.
So this was a birthday surprise?
I thought to myself. But then I pulled away from the hug, and saw fresh blood trailing from the right temple of his head down to his cheek. I gently turned his head to get a clearer view, there was an open wound.
"W-what the hell happene-" I gasped, "Come with me."
I hurriedly locked the gate and pulled him inside the house. After making sure my door was also properly locked, I dragged him upstairs to my room and made him sit on my bed. I observed the wound, thankfully it wasn't too deep to the point it needed stitching. I grabbed a clean cloth from my closet and went to my bathroom to run some clean water on it. After wringing the cloth, I returned to Jimin who was still sitting on my bed, staring blankly on the walls. His eyes were dull. I stood in front of him and pressed the wet cloth onto his wound, making him wince.
"Now would you tell me what happened," I said as my hand was still pressing the cloth to his wound. My words sounded more like a command.
"I....... fell on the way to your house?" he grinned awkwardly.
I shot him a glare.
"Okay, okay." he sighed and looked down, "My parents fought, again."
My glare softened. I stayed quiet and gently brushed his hand who wanted to take over holding the cloth. I kept pressing the cloth as the bleeding had not completely stopped.
"Jisang was already asleep, but woke up due to the sound of a vase crashing into the wall." his eyes was staring at the floor as he spoke.
"He then started crying, as always. He curled himself on his bed, hiding under the blanket. I figured that this has to fucking stop for the sake of that poor kid's soul."
My heart jumped a little when Jimin said the 'f' word. He rarely cursed with such a rough word before, to the point of almost never.
"I went downstairs and saw my father about to hit my mother with an empty bottle of beer, I yelled at them to stop and pushed my father away. But then this happened," he pointed at his wound. "Thankfully my reflexes were acting fast and I kinda avoided it. Even though it still bleeds, well at least it doesn't knock me unconscious with a ripped head." He laughed at his own sentence. His laugh was far from normal and sounded very painful.
He stared at the clock on my wall, I followed his stare and learned that it was 12:17.
"Sorry I didn't get to wish you a happy birthday on 12 am sharp. Think I left my phone on my room."
"Let's go to the hospital," my words sounded like a whisper since I was struggling in holding back my tears.
"No. Just let me stay. Please? I'll sleep on the floor." he looked into my eyes, pleading.
I can't bear looking at his face anymore. I realized that the hug earlier outside wasn't for me, but for himself. I then walked forward, circled my hands behind his head, and gave him another hug.
"Okay."
After a minute or so, I sighed and softly wiped his wound clean, the bleeding has stopped. I went to my bathroom to get some antibiotic ointment. Done applying it to his wound, I pulled out some thick blankets and pillows and laid it out on the floor for him to sleep on.
We spent the night talking from each other's position before finally drifting ourselves asleep.
Since that night, Mrs. Park had kicked her husband out the house and told him to never come back, which he obeyed. Mrs. Park had to work overtime and find extra jobs to fund her family. Jimin worked on a bunch part-time jobs. I joined him on some, but only visited him sometimes on the others since my parents warned me to focus on my studies. Mrs. Park wasn't happy, she scolded Jimin for doing so. She said that all of this was her fault for marrying an ass-headed man, and that Jimin shouldn't suffer from the consequences. She told my parents the same reason when they offered her financial support on Jimin and Jisang's school funds. Nevertheless, Jimin still secretly went on one part-time job on a coffee shop every Wednesday.
"Jiminnie, don't you have to work at the coffee shop today?" I asked him while flipping through the pages of our Chemistry textbook.
"I no longer have to work there." he answered without even hestitating, his stare was still on his homework and his hand were writing the answer to the last question.
"Why?"
Sounds of the front door of his house opening came to our ears.
"Kids, I'm home!"
"And I brought blood sausages!" A familiar heavy voice called from downstairs.
Mr. Park?
"That's why. Now let's go downstairs," Jimin placed his pen down and stood up, "I know you want those blood sausages," he offered his hand towards me, smiling as he did.
_______________
* = auntie
Author's Note:
Sorry for not updating as often as I used to ;(
Thank you for the love!
-wangkongbean-